Wednesday, March 11, 2020
I felt rough yesterday.
Tuesday, March 10, 2020
Monday, March 9, 2020
For the last two days...
For the last two days I've woken up with tension headaches after having nightmares. Some of the nightmares are ridiculous. Some are about school. Some are me being back in situations that I didn't like. I wake up feeling stressed and have a hard time shaking it. It's pretty bad. I've been extremely lucky that I have managed to ward off the impending migraines, but I don't know how much longer that will last if something doesn't give.
I'm still not done emptying my old house. I have 8 days to finish that. It's a problem. It's taking up a lot of mental space for me. I don't feel calm or able to process things when I know something needs to be finished or when things are in disarray. So my brain feels really un-focus-y and not calm. Also, the time it will take for me to move things and get them sorted out would be better spent studying, but I don't have time to do both.
Due to that I'm not doing very well in my math class. Well... that's not the only problem, but it's a big one. Unfortunately, Differential Equations requires my full attention and a focused brain - neither of which I can give at this time. It's not working out such that I have a passing grade, but I do enjoy the material. I'm debating whether to drop it or just hang in there so I can learn as much as I can for the next go around.
I knew we'd have a term paper in my CS class, but we also have 5 smaller papers to write. Those were just assigned a few days ago. I'm not excited about that. I really thought I'd be done with writing papers after last semester. The amount of stress that writing papers gives me is, well... a lot. I'm sure some of my tension headaches are due to those assignments.
In theory with only two classes I should be able to handle them and do well, but that's really not how I feel that things are going right now.
I'm starting to feel pretty sure that I need to stop worrying about school so much and get a job after I finish the house stuff. I can finish my CS class this semester, take Abstract Algebra over the summer, and Differential Equations this fall, all while working at least part-time. It's later than I wanted to graduate but at this point (even though I desperately want to be finished with school), I feel strongly about not half - assing my classes. I don't want to graduate by the skin of my teeth. Besides, if I graduate in December I can graduate with my best buddy Dinorah. That's definitely a silver lining.
I don't know. I probably talk too much on here about my "problems." But I'm doing some serious thinking about delaying my graduation date. It seems like it would be better for my mental health and for my understanding of the material I'm learning. If anyone has advice, I'm all ears.
Friday, March 6, 2020
I'm so mean.
I'm so mean. Since I was so busy today, this is the first chance I've had to hold him. He's been chasing me all day meowing. I swear it looks like he's smiling. Poor Scar kitty.
I've had a pretty good day.
I've had a pretty good day. I woke up and got my favorite breakfast with my favorite person. I came home and checked A LOT of things off my to-do list. After that we ate and then I started taking care of my plants.
I just took the dogs out and I'm dying at how precious Booka is. He didn't want to jump off the couch (thank goodness with his old self) so I went to pick him down. He bucked like he was jumping / helping me. 😂😂😂 He does the same thing when I pick him up to help him onto the couch; he kicks off with his little back legs like he's doing something. 😂😂😂 I don't know why that tickles me so much. I guess it's just the cooperation of my old boy when he knows I'm trying to help him. It is honestly one of the most precious treasures. My heart is so happy and full right now.
Me on the last quiz in Differential Equations. I had to be sure! 😂😂😂
Me on the last quiz in Differential Equations. I had to be sure! 😂😂😂
