I have only been outside of my apartment once...

I have only been outside of my apartment once since November 28th - and that was to take out my trash.

Today, I am going to curbside pick up my prescriptions... and if the weather is nice I'm going to either take a walk outside or skate. Here's hoping that a bit of exercise will help my sleep issues.

Feels like a big day after almost 2 weeks shut in.

I have been sleeping like crap lately.

I have been sleeping like crap lately. I really dislike having to take Melatonin, but I have been because I need to sleep. But it gives me weird dreams. Today I woke up mad at Barbie dolls. 🤨😂

I'm gonna ramble.

I'm gonna ramble.

Today started off a little rough.  I woke up with a pretty bad tension headache.  I had a lot of weird dreams and must have slept crazy.  I took some meds to head of a migraine and got started on my work later in the day than I wanted to.  But I did my time and made a lot of good progress towards Challenge #2.  I am pretty excited that I am able to be productive from home.

I showered today and put in larger earrings.  I'm at a 5mm now, which I think is about a 4 gauge.  When I visited home for Thanksgiving I brought most of my body jewelry back to Cincinnati with me.  I have a few things I can wear in this size, but a LOT more options once I reach a 2 gauge.  I'm excited about that.

I'm being SO NICE to my ears.  I'm only inserting larger earrings after a hot shower and there is no pain at all.  I remember when I stretched my lobes back in the day it always pinched and hurt a bit.  I feel like I'm just not into that part of it anymore.  I want everything to be comfy.  It's probably also easier because they were stretched before, but I am not complaining.

After catching the 'Rona (I assume from the airport), I have decided that I'm not flying home around another holiday.  My plan is to pack my car full of as much of my stuff as I can live without for a few weeks and drive home and unload it.  That way, when I leave Cincinnati for good I'll have more room for this desk that I acquired and that I love to come with me.  And hopefully a friend will ride with me again - definitely gotta make sure I have room for her!

I'm missing a lot of my work buddies.  I can't go back to the office until I test negative for COVID.  I'm not mad at the caution regarding it, but I feel like I'm missing a lot.  A couple of the guys got their certifications, and one has already been put on a project.  That is all super exciting stuff.  I messaged them on Slack to congratulate them, but it's not the same as a high-five and a "Let's fucking go!"

Anyway, so this is crazy.  I have the ParaGard IUD, which I think hurts me sometimes and I'll probably get removed at some point.  But my hormones are getting jankey, so the doctor I saw prescribed birth control pills.  On top of all of that I am nowhere near my husbang so it seems crazy to be this birth-controlled, but I know there are reasons for it.  The doctor said that I am not old enough to be going into perimenopause yet, but my suddenly irregular periods and night-sweats say otherwise.  I've been a whole damn mess for a few months now and I really hope the pills help.

Well, I can't think of much else to say.  I'm about to chill down for the night and hopefully I'll sleep restfully instead of stressfully tonight.  We'll see. I hope you all are doing well.  ❤️

I didn't go to work last week...

I didn't go to work last week and part of this week because of being sick.

My manager gives us code challenges to try. I finished the first one after getting tons of feedback throughout the day the week before I got sick. Coding is not my strong point, but I am trying my best and he is very helpful!

I missed Challenge #2 because I didn't feel well.

I worked from home today and I just finished Challenge #3 (which he gave us yesterday). I did it all by myself, y'all. I am so damn excited! 😁😁😁

This photo will mean nothing to most of you, but I wrote this script. And it works. And I comment it like I do because it helps me learn and keep my train of thought on track.

It's not due until Tuesday, so maybe I have time to go back and try Challenge 2. 😁

This is the boost I needed tonight after being away. 😁

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

According to the internet my COVID symptoms are pretty mild so far and I would agree that I've definitely felt worse before. I mean, in the past I've worked while in worse condition than this. But I am grateful that I'm able to rest and recover and that I'm not having a terrible go.

I haven't seen another person's face IRL since Tuesday. I take my isolation very seriously. The fact that I could walk out of here and infect someone and they could literally die from this virus is terrifying.

I wear my mask outside of my bedroom. I sanitize my hands before leaving my room and then wash them with soap and hot water immediately after I leave. Then I do whatever I need to in the kitchen or bathroom, then go straight back to my room.

Needless to say, I'm not having the most fun. But I think I'll be ok. I'm just ready for it to be over.

On the bright side, Kelsey made this delicious soup. It's the best thing that's happened in days. 😂😂😂

Something to think about.

Something to think about.

by Caitlin Lowery

I used to be a missionary. I would go on short term mission trips to Eastern Europe or Africa for the sole purpose of “earning souls for Christ”. We kept count of the number of people we “saved”. We put on a play or volunteered for a little while to show our love for Jesus. Then after praying with them and adding their soul to the tally marks, we would never see them again. 

I thought I was doing God’s work. But if I’m being honest, I was doing work that made me feel good. I would volunteer in an orphanage or help clean out a house, both tasks requiring that the people who lived there had to teach me what to do. This actually took their time away from their family or their work. Yet I believed I was serving them. 

Ask me what their names were. I must have worked with and met hundreds of people. Do I remember who they were? Did I even attempt to keep in contact with them or show them that I still care after they’d been added to the notches in my cross? No. Not even once.  

I prayed over their houses of worship, that they would repent and see that their faith was dead. Yet I never once sat down and asked to learn what they believed. Why did I assume that my faith was the right faith? Why did I assume that my presence was so precious that it would change their hearts and lives? Why did I assume that they were lost, living their beautiful content lives right where they were? Why did I assume their lives needed changing? 

This is white supremacy. This is colonization. White people entering a foreign land under the guise of caring to turn people into followers of the white peoples god and life. Do not pretend colonization doesn’t happen anymore. It just lives under a new name: mission trip. 

Do not victimize the missionary that was killed for not following the laws of the tribe he claimed to love. Do not demonize the tribe that simply tried to protect their children from disease and violence. If he cared he would have already known their beliefs and laws and would not have disrespected them. But he didn’t care. They were just going to be another notch on his cross. 

If you’ve gone on mission trips before, and this feels like an attack, sit with that feeling for awhile. Is it good to help people? Yes. Is it good to insert yourself into someone else’s life without asking based on your own assumption that you are the most important person in the room? No. It’s time for us to reflect on that notion and change our ways. 

Colonization needs to end.

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️