For the most part...

For the most part my anxiety and depression have been well-controlled with Buspirone and Duloxetine for the past few years, but I have felt myself slipping over the last few weeks.  It's so dumb because this is the least stressed I've ever been in my life.  Maybe the fact that I haven't been able to exercise like I would like to due to my ankle is affecting me.  I don't know.  Me and Shaun took a little walk yesterday evening.  It was nice, but obviously not enough to get me out of my slump.

I just booked an appointment for therapy to see if that will help.  It's something I've been meaning to do since I got back from Cincinnati, but I am only just now doing it.  It took a while to settle in, honestly, and I'm not even sure that I'm done settling.

I do have a few stressors, but I feel like I should be able to handle them without sinking this low.  I'm sleeping far more than I need to and also eating like shit.  Since my diet sucks, so does my skin which is just another fun layer of discomfort on top of everything.

I don't know.  I'm not in a dire position... yet.  I am enjoying doing nail art and having a creative outlet again.  I'm making major progress on my nail polish database.  I just don't want to wait until I'm in a terrible situation before I get help or take action, so I'm really hoping that therapy can help me get a handle on things.

I hope you all are doing well.  I'm not having the best time, but it'll be ok.  ❤

Shaun said...

Shaun said we needed to go to Lowe's. I thought we were looking at flooring. He thought we were looking for a table-top bird bath. We came home with plants. 😂😂😂

Back Left:  Sago Palm

Back Right:  Ponytail Palm

Middle:  a nice, toothy agave

To the right of the middle:  Golden Barrel Cactus

The other 3:  Too cute and plump to be left behind. Front left is blooming! ❤️

Shaun...

Shaun just hugged me goodnight with wet hands and I...

Those were fighting words, I swear. 😂😂😂

Me and Shaun...

Me and Shaun had planned to go see the Dresden Dolls at Meow Wolf Santa Fe tonight, but we're not going. I'm almost as excited about canceling our plans as I was about making them. 😂😂😂

I was up at 4 this morning because I hadn't seen Adrian since I got off work yesterday evening.  Normally, she comes to bother me while I brush my teeth before bed and she's very cuddly when we sleep, so that was pretty different. Logically I know that cats hide and do weird shit sometimes, but I woke up in the middle of the night searching for her because I was sure she was dead somehow.  My brain was GOING OFF. I was like "A snake ate her. She got outside when I wasn't looking and is coyote food. Something fell and squashed her." 

So at 4 this morning I turned the lights on and started searching the room. Finally, I started climbing the ladder to my loft bed. It was then that she came to the edge of the loft bed with eyes squinting and a cringing face like "Why the fuck is the light on?  What's happening?" She looked SO disgruntled. 😂😂😂

Anyway, I didn't get much sleep after that and I've been tired all day. As for the concert, doors aren't until 10 pm and I'm like "That's crazy." I'm crashing out by 10 on a good day. 😂 Thankfully, the tickets weren't expensive and Shaun is happy to support the artists whether we go or not. I've seen Amanda Palmer live a few times, but never the Dresden Dolls together. And yes, I would like to, but also, that feels like effort and sensory overload and a sold-out show in a small venue with a virus still around. So I'm content to stay in tonight and be an old fogey with my best friend and my ani-pals. 😊❤️ I have a dentist appointment in the morning, anyway. 😂

I only need to look presentable...

I only need to look presentable from the waist up at my job. I work under a blanket from the waist down all day. Sometimes there is a cat. 😂😂😂

These babies aren't even in the ground

These babies aren't even in the ground, but they're budding and blooming. They are so gorgeous! ❤️

I hope everyone has had a good weekend.

I hope everyone has had a good weekend.  I spent mine basically sat on the couch.  I'm trying really hard to take care of my ankle.  I have a brace and I've been wearing it a ton.  I feel so grounded.  My ankle feels a good bit better - especially with the brace, but I've been trying to stay off it so it will heal since I re-injured it before it was done healing already.  I miss skating.  I miss our morning walks.  I missed doing chores this weekend, but I worry that I'm at the age where there will be permanent damage if I don't take care of it right.  So here I continue to sit.

Shaun got a trial of some new streaming service so we could watch something he wanted to watch.  We watched whatever that was last weekend.  Oh, it was Everything Everywhere All at Once.  That was pretty good.  Then we started Yellowjackets.  We finished the last episode that was out today and I guess now I'm waiting for more.  That sucked me in super fast.  Shaun, not so much, but he liked it enough that he didn't want me to watch it without him.  That's pretty much all we did yesterday.

The only other thing I did this weekend was put that chrome on my nails.  Though I got some great suggestions I never did do an accent nail.  I didn't photograph them or share them anywhere else.  I had planned to do that today but ended up with a headache so I napped with the cats instead.

I definitely feel like I am sitting too much. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like that's why I got a headache... But thankfully this is just temporary.  I will probably start doing more non-sitting activity this coming weekend, thank goodness.  But since I've been sitting here I've also been working on my database.  I'm like, halfway though the "collecting information" stage so that's really exciting.  I'm hoping I can have my database more or less done this year so that I can move forward with other projects (like my website and swatching my polish collection).  We'll see.  But I'm excited.

Anyway, I'm done rambling now.  I hope the week treats you well!  ❤