On top of my health issues from the previous post, I'm stressed about Bear's upcoming surgery.
I trust his surgeon, but there's always a chance that things can go wrong. I worry that he will go under anesthesia and not wake up. His precious little brain doesn't strike me as neurotypical. His surgeon did say that she didn't believe the seizures increased his chances of a bad outcome regarding anesthesia, so there is that.
I am also concerned about the possibility of a personality change once he's in less pain. I remember when my psoriatic arthritis was at its worst. I was practically a different person. Pain (especially chronic pain) does terrible things to you. I am happier and more comfortable than I've ever been in my life, and I desperately want that for Bear. I just know how life-changing it can be and I wonder if/how that's going to affect him.
He's a whole mess already and manages to get into everything as it is. We may be in trouble when he's less lame. 😂 But that's an ok kind of trouble. I'm fine with that.
I guess it's the fear of the unknown getting to me, on top of the worry about his recovery. Double knee surgery is no joke. We're going to have to keep him still and calm for quite a while so he doesn't wreck the results of his surgery. He's going to need help getting up and walking for several weeks. We're going to have a sling to help him get around. I hope he won't hate us for putting him through that, but it will definitely be for the best.
I slept late today and when I woke up Shaun was outside with the dogs. I came out to put some trash in the dumpster and then called out to Bear and he looked happy to see me and came running. It made my heart so happy. He greets me every morning and checks on me with kisses throughout the day. But like I said, I don't think he's neurotypical and he's not very snuggly so his brand of affection is different than any other dog I've ever had. But this morning he looked obviously happy to see me and that made me feel so loved. I'm over here in my feelings because I just want everything to go well and our sweet boy to be ok.
