I had a really chill weekend.

I had a really chill weekend. I didn't even do my regular chores. I mostly slept, and ate tasty, spicy food... and I have no regrets because I needed it.

I redid the gel overlay on my nails because it was grown out. I also watered my plants.

We finished a show we were watching, then watched the whole last season of The Bear between yesterday and today. This season was kind of boring, but that's ok.

I didn't do Shaun's nails. Maybe I'll get his done this week.

I guess that was my version of self-care. Resting, eating, and taking care of my nails, as well as my plants.

The back yard is going to officially be started on tomorrow morning at 6:30. We hired someone to repair our irrigation as a first step. I'm glad it's finally getting started.

Sitting here and saw little paws pop up...

Sitting here and saw little paws pop up. Look at this goober. He's tired and having a roll. 😂

I don't go in places much, so...

I don't go in places much, so I don't always find new delicious things... But today I did.

Dinorah and Jonathon, I got this at Albertsons, so I don't know if a store near you might have it. But it's worth a shot.

I wasn't super fit for human interaction yesterday.

I wasn't super fit for human interaction yesterday. I just had to do my bitching and get off the internet. You're welcome. 😂😂😂

I'm in a mood and I've been eating extra hot Chicken Vindaloo for 3 days. I guess I need my food to match my spicy attitude right now. I woke up smelling it in my armpits this morning and I liked that.

I just saw the news. If you're not tuned in, check it out. That's exciting.

So anyway...

So anyway, I took an antihistamine last night to help me sleep/make me stop itching. I slept so hard that I woke up with a headache. But I finally feel rested.

Shaun took NyQuil last night because he hasn't been feeling well. I guess he slept pretty hard, too. Bear whined around 2 in the morning and then pooped in his crate. Nobody heard that he needed out. Poor guy.

By the time I woke up and made it downstairs (which was after 1 pm because antihistamines knock me out), Shaun had woken up (around 9 this morning), cleaned the mess, washed Bear, and fallen back asleep. I feel so bad that he dealt with all of that by himself (especially while he's feeling bad), but we're both struggling right now. I'm just glad he got some rest. I'm glad I did, too. Hopefully, we'll both feel somewhat better soon. Us both feeling so rundown at the same time just isn't cutting it.

I haven't mentioned this...

I haven't mentioned this because not too many people seem interested in my hormonal struggles, and plenty of you seem dismissive and tell me what a doctor will/won't do for me. I don't have time to fight for my needs to be met PLUS also educate those of you who are happy with the status of things and are content to remain ignorant of the changes taking place regarding our healthcare. All I can say is that if you're happy with your treatment/the way you feel while going through peri, then good for you. But I'm NOT satisfied with the bare minimum of "grin and bear it because it's natural (wtf is that? So is cancer.)/find supplements to make life bearable" so I'm pursuing more.

I've spent the last few months itching in a big way. I guess I assumed it would be chocked up by many to my psoriasis or the pool, but it's happening on clear skin and started before I started swimming. Also, I've been using a swimmers lotion before going in the pool to protect my skin.

Hormones can affect every system in our bodies, and I don't know exactly how it works, but I've read that hormone fluctuations can change histamine levels during perimenopause. I believe that is what I'm experiencing. It's not an itch that is satisfied by a scratch. Just a perpetual itch that nothing seems to help.

I also think that is why I'm having a hard time sleeping.

I'm on a waiting list to see a doctor who supposedly supports peri/menopause care with actual treatments like HRT and I can't wait to see them. They supposedly diagnose off symptoms rather than a one-time blood test (which is only a snapshot of a moment because hormone levels fluctuate), or even worse "Well, if your periods are regular, then your hormones are fine." which I have been told at least twice before by 2 different doctors.

Just because my eggs are rotten/almost gone doesn't mean I've outlived my usefulness. I still have a job. I still have a family. I still have wants and desires. I still need to be a functional member of society. It's hard to be functional when you can't sleep and just want to spend your waking hours clawing your skin off.

So, there's that. If you're of a certain age and experiencing symptoms that you can't quite explain, it might be time to do some research. I cannot recommend r/menopause enough. It's how I found the doctor I want to see and also where I discovered that peri/menopause is more than just hot flashes and rage. This is a subject not talked about/studied enough and I'm 100% sure it's because it doesn't affect men.

Don't take this shit laying down. Don't let your quality of life suffer. Be your own advocate and continue to thrive despite your lack of eggs. I don't know about y'all, but I plan to be a problem for many years to come.

It's been a rough week.

It's been a rough week. Shaun isn't feeling well and we've had so many appointments. There's work being done outside of our house by the city and they cut our internet while I was at work yesterday. I logged in via HotSpot on my phone so I could get my work done, but we got a call about house stuff while I was in a meeting, so I handed Shaun my phone to answer since I couldn't. He walked away and kicked me from my meeting and entire virtual desktop. Speaking of, I've had to call the help desk twice every day to get my work Virtual Desktop to even log on. This whole week has been an avalanche of such similar bullshit. And today I'm out of milk and sad about it, and my work computer is acting funky.

We got home from Ash's appointment a little bit ago, and y'all - she was SO DRAMATIC. She screamed the whole 7-minute trip to the vet. She was pretty good for the doctor. But she fought Shaun tooth and nail about going back into the carrier when it was time to leave.

I legit belly-laughed because I've never seen Shaun so thwarted by a cat. Of course, he's not feeling 100%, but damn. She fought like she was feral. She beat his ass. She drew blood from us both and I was literally just holding the carrier. She was throwing paws with not a single fuck given. 😂  Neither one of us expected that from her. But to be fair, she's been the healthiest of our cats and we can hardly recall a time she's needed to see the doctor. She is definitely not used to this.

So anyway, we'll have the results of her bloodwork on Monday.

Bear is being extra and we're both so tired. Shaun needs more rest and I need to contact someone to get my computer straightened out.

Fun day. At least it's Friday.