My anxiety has been up for a few days.

My anxiety has been up for a few days. My mouth and lips are chewed to shreds. 😬

Happy boys. 😊

Happy boys. 😊

Checked on the baby before going to sleep.

Checked on the baby before going to sleep. Bear is so freakin' precious. And look at Cub on my pillow. And Scar on my head. And Shaun's next to me, not snoring.

We're all tucked! ❤️

He looks like a warthog. 😂

He looks like a warthog. 😂 Maybe next year we dress him up as Bebop for Halloween. 😂😂😂

We heard it and I rushed out, but...

We heard it and I rushed out, but it happened so fast that I missed a great view of this balloon descending across the way.

I love it here so much! ❤️

Today wasn't 💯, but...

Today wasn't 💯, but it really wasn't bad considering how terribly I slept due to how anxious I was about work.

I kind of bit off a lot to do on Thursday and the rest of my team has to wait for me to do my part before they can do theirs, so that's no pressure. /sarcasm 😂 I worked on it some Thursday and Friday, but I knew I'd feel better if I just had some quiet hours to dedicate to it today.

I slept late today because of how bad I slept. I finally texted Shaun to come get me out of the bedroom in the afternoon because I was just so anxious that I wasn't moving. He got me up, and I ended up getting most of my work done today. I didn't make any actual changes to the client's instance, but I have everything documented and linked in Excel so that we (as a team) can go over it on Monday and knock it out quickly. I just didn't want to be in there making that many changes without a second set of eyes.

Anyway, I feel good because I got so much done. I'm also really happy because usually when my anxiety is up and my sleep is bad I get a migraine. That didn't happen today - thank goodness. Testosterone is supposed to help with anxiety and migraines, so that may be why I didn't. If all I get is a little stuck and needing a nudge, I am fine with that. I usually know how/when to ask for help.

Well, it's 1 in the morning. I'm heading to bed. I hope I get some good sleep tonight. Hopefully I will since I don't feel worried about anything at the moment.

I've been on Testosterone for one week.

I've been on Testosterone for one week.  I've also been on meds for hypothyroid for 6 days.

The first few days were rough, mood-wise.  Other than that, my joint aches are better and my sleep is improving, as well.

I am sure it's a combination of both medications, but today was straight-up good.  I felt rested upon waking and I honestly can't remember the last time that happened.  I usually struggle with being sluggish and drowsy and desperately wanting to crawl back into bed, but not today.

I woke up, did my Duolingo, got my steps in, did my strength-training from yesterday, and went to work.  I struggle to get those 2 to 3 things done daily (I don't strength train every day), often waiting until after work to exercise, but today I knocked it out, as well as checked off some things from my to-do list.  It's been weeks since I checked even one thing off that list.

I don't know if I will have this kind of energy every day, but I am really hoping this isn't a fluke.  I felt like I wanted to feel - like I used to feel, before Psoriatic Arthritis and college stress and depression teamed up and knocked me on my ass.  Not to brag, but I used to be a person who could do things.  😂  If this does keep up, maybe I'll get back to skating and making jewelry and doing more than just sitting on the couch because that's all I have the energy left to do after working.  Here's hoping.

It's only 8:30 here, but I'm crashing out and I'm ok with that.  I'm still trying to be gentle with myself and I'm listening to my body, so I'm getting ready for bed.  I hope y'all have a good night.  <3