I woke up today not feeling too shabby.

I woke up today not feeling too shabby. Amazingly, the last two days have been ok. Today, I took Shaun out to eat and somewhere between sitting in a chilly restaurant, taking a stroll through Big Lots, and driving us back home, I am hurting again. No position is comfortable and I kind of want to cry. I honestly don't know what to do. I am so sad. There is so much I want to do in life, but right now I can't even concentrate on my homework.

I know. Supposedly, it gets better. But for how long before it goes to shit again?

Pardon me, y'all. I'm in the gap and that's an awful place to be. It's hard to remain positive here. 🙁

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person:

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person:  Shaun!  😃  Did you realize that this year makes the 8th set of birthdays we're celebrating together?!  Holy cow, time is flying!  ❤

I know that things have been better and easier before now, but thank you x1000 for sticking with me through it all.  Seriously, y'all, this is how it is this year:  He's getting dinner at his favorite place on me.  Even though it's a little far away I'm gonna drive him there because he's not a fan of driving.  That is literally all I have planned.  😕  I don't know what else we'll do, but if it costs money I'll have to borrow it from him!  😛

Shaun, I feel bad that I don't even have a gift for you to open right now, but time is the hardest thing for me to come by lately, so it's the most valuable, anyway.  And I'm not even grumpy today!  😃  I know that my health sucks and I've been ill about that and busy with school so much this past year that I've put you last on my list of things to take care of, but I want you to know that I love you SO MUCH and I couldn't do any of this without you.  I promise that better days are coming.  When I'm out of school and rich and you're my trophy wife I'll have time to spend once again and I'll be happy to buy you any ridiculous thing you want.  😉

I love you and I hope you have a fun day.  Let me know when you're ready to get on with it!  ❤😃

I was less hate-y and miserable today.

I was less hate-y and miserable today. I think my Otezla is finally starting to take effect.

Dr. Edmond's office called me back today. I was on the phone with a customer at work and couldn't answer, but they left me a voicemail and also messaged me here to see if I had another phone number. Looks like they take it pretty seriously when a patient is unhappy, so that's nice.

I also called Dr. Crawford's office twice. I left a voicemail this morning, but still hadn't heard back by this afternoon, so I called again. Thankfully, the nurse who usually deals with me answered the phone. She said they'd been seeing patients all day, which I get. I asked her about my Otezla prescription and she said it was denied, but that they usually have to put it through more than once for it to be approved.

For the record I knew that would take time and it was not the reason I was calling. I was calling because I'm almost out of the Otezla samples they gave me and I didn't know what I was supposed to do (which I made sure to say in the voicemail I left). So I told her that and she said to just come and get more. I had no idea it was so simple. I think that most doctors and nurses assume that they are dealing with people who know how the system works, or at who at least have a clue. I am not either of those people yet. If they had just returned my call on Monday and told me to come get more pills it would have saved us both some stress and frustration.

IN ANY CASE I feel relieved knowing that I can get samples until my prescription is approved. Especially now that it seems to be starting to work!

Tell me again (even though it's the thousandth time I've asked)...

Tell me again (even though it's the thousandth time I've asked) who are the good doctors around here.  Both for GP and Rheumatology in case I need to make some decisions.

I'm pretty annoyed today.

Dr. Edmond's office either didn't relay the message to him that I couldn't take the NSAID samples he gave me, or he neglected to call me back.  I called yesterday and they were supposed to call me back.  I probably should have called today, but he seems hesitant to give me anything because he's not that familiar with Otezla, which I can understand.  I probably would have lost my temper had I called, anyway.  I'm just so on edge right now.

Dr. Crawford is on vacation, so I guess that's more important than one of her patients being in pain.  She seems to want the benefits of being paid for a full-time stock of patients, but they are so slow to do any damn thing that I think she's either understaffed or needs to put in some more hours.  I FEEL like this is RIDICULOUS and I'm LOSING MY PATIENCE.  She needs to get her shit together before she loses one of hers (patients.  ME, specifically).

I don't really have the time or energy to drive farther away to see a good doctor, but I'm starting to consider it.  I get that some things take time, but then again - you'd think a doctor would take pride in running their office efficiently.  I had x-rays done months ago and she's just now trying to do something with them?  I tell the nurse I'm hurting and she's like, "Well, Dr. Crawford's out of town."  Do I give a shit where she is?  NO.  This is so dumb.  And I am SO ILL.

I have to go and take a nap.  Or do homework.  Or something. I don't even know what I can do right now.  I'm slangry (sleepy + angry).

Everyone is about to think I'm crazy, but...

Everyone is about to think I'm crazy, but this cool breeze is killing my knees.  Went to class in what should have been comfortable clothing (sweat pants, tshirt, and light hoodie), and I'm paying for it now.  I just put a heavier jacket and snow pants on top of all that.  If it stays this cool tonight I'm gonna have to turn the heater on in my bedroom.

I know it's still August in Alabama, but I am not even kidding.  If you see me out and I look like it's snowing, please do not try to have me committed for being delusional.  I know the weather is nice.  I'M enjoying it, but my skeleton is not.  😛

I feel like I was running ALL DAY.

I feel like I was running ALL DAY.  I went to class.  Then I went to the DMV to turn in the paperwork for my placard.  Got that, so now I have it if I need it.  Then I took Dr. Crawford the x-rays.  Next, there was a meeting at the McClellan campus about JSU and the scholarship.  Went to that.  Then grabbed an unsweet tea and went to work.

I just got home.  😳  Tired is an understatement.

Update:

Update:

I have my x-rays and the papers that are with them.  I will drop them off with Dr. Crawford tomorrow, but I'm copying everything first.  I haven't looked at the x-rays yet, but from what I read I do have some minor joint damage in my hips and knees already.  At least it's minor.  They also mention "osteopenia" on pretty much every bone, and Google says that's reduced bone mass of lesser severity than osteoporosis.

Wonderful.

Dr. Edmond gave me samples of an NSAID called Nalfon.  I took it with lunch and about halfway through my evening class today it took the edge off the pain and I started to crash.  I'm assuming it's because I'm exhausted because tiredness wasn't listed in the side effects.  I'm sorry if I ignore anyone, but I'm probably going to nap shortly.  I do have homework (even Algebra that I REALLY want to do), but I can't think straight right now, so whatever.

Also, Dr. Edmond signed my parking papers.  I will go and pick up my placard tomorrow.  I don't usually have trouble getting a manageable parking spot for the classes at Ayers, so I'll do it after class.  No biggie.  It looks like I will mostly need it for the classes at McClellan, which are on Monday and Wednesday.

Anyway.  I'm off.  It's been one hell of a day.