Now I feel like talking about my car.

Yeah, but it's not such a happy story, unfortunately. 😕 I've had a lot of problems with being stranded lately.

When I went to visit my dad (at least a couple of months ago) my Subaru ran hot and crapped out on me. Luckily I had my old back-up Hyundai Excel, but I don't like driving it because the speedometer doesn't work. Well, my mom lent me a Hyundai that she had, but the gas meter didn't work and the car had trouble going up hills. It ended up stranding me a few times (even when I was sure there was gas in it) so I told them just to come and get it. They pumped up the tires on my Hyundai and jumped it off and I've been driving it ever since (but I have had to get it jumped a few times - luckily [well, out of necessity - thanks to me] Shaun has jumper cables and is usually nearby).

Not sure what's up with my Subaru... I know that before the long trek out to see dad that it did a fine job of getting me to work and back. It has an oil leak so I'm constantly pouring oil down it. I had that checked out and it's going to cost more money than I have at the moment to get it fixed, so... it's not getting fixed. Anyway, I think the Subaru doesn't do so well on longer trips. I'm hoping to get it back soon and just drive it to work and home. That would be nice. I guess both of my cars are kind of crappy, but between the two of them I'm usually covered.

Mom and Bobby bought me a Kia Sportage, I think. I had no idea they were going to do that - they just showed up at my house with it this past Valentine's Day. It was a nice gesture, but it's not in my name and I'm not driving it so it's not doing me a lot of good right now. It has been wrecked and it needs some work. I think the frame needs to be straightened out, and it needs a door, and a new rag top, and it's missing a seat belt. They're planning to fix it up for me - which is really sweet, but they're not made of money and with Bobby's health I just don't see it happening soon. It's not their responsibility to take care of me, anyway. I'm a grown-ass woman... not that I would turn the Kia down, by any means. I just don't expect them to do this sort of thing for me.

Anyway, Shaun has been looking at cars lately and it really makes me want something nice and shiny and trusty. I think I have fallen for the Honda Fit. I always thought if I got another car that it would be another Subaru, but that little thing has kind of won me over. It even has a dog compartment in the back. 😀 I doubt that in my lifetime I will ever be able to afford a new car, but I imagine that it would feel awesome to. I know - buy a used one and finance, but yeah... my credit is fucked right now and it's not like I could afford another monthly bill, anyway. It kind of bums me out to think that way, but I'm barely paying my bills. I'll be paying my mortgage for the next 25 years and it takes up almost half a month's pay. I'm paying the rest of the bills and feeding us on basically two paychecks and some change. It's not easy.

I'm at a point where I'm finally getting my house in good shape and I'm happy here. I love my job - my boss is awesome, the job is fun, and I'm always doing something different and learning new things. I'm making more money than I ever have so it's not like I've ever been in a better situation. I'm happier than I've been in probably about 10 years. I just feel stuck sometimes. I know that I have no idea what the future holds, but all I can see is me paying for my house for the next 25 years - which kind of translates to me struggling for the next 25 years. Wow. I sure hope I have that in me.

I don't know. I don't necessarily feel bad right now... just... trying to figure shit out. I don't want to be stuck driving sketchy cars my whole life. Being a tiny girl and stranded isn't really fun. Especially when I don't always have money to buy minutes for my cell. I just feel scared sometimes and like I don't really know what to do to change things. So... yeah. 😕