I don't know if it's just utter exhaustion speaking or what, but I'm having one of those days where I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm full of doubts today.
I woke up this morning having no idea what day or time it was - and therefore, no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I'm so sad that I have straight up failed two Calculus tests. My average in the class is a 91 as of right now, but that doesn't give me a lot of wiggle room for when we get to the final if I want to keep my A. I'm gonna have to step it up a notch in there.
I'm also really sad that I couldn't figure out how to complete my programming assignment that was due at midnight. I turned in what I had, but I felt like a failure.
Physics is just hard, but I feel that compared to the rest of the class I am holding my own. I think most of us struggle and fail the tests so I take solace in the fact that it's not just me.
As bad as I feel like I'm doing it makes me wonder if I'm cut out for this kind of stuff. If I think logically about it - then yeah, I'm probably going to be ok. I'm trying hard not to base my performance in programming (even though I have an A in there, too) on the fact that it takes me time to figure things out or that sometimes I'm stumped. HTML used to look scary, but just from years of dabbling and playing in it I know I can do some things if I really try - and a lot of it I just know out of my head. So I'm trying to look at this class like an overview or exposure to it and not as though it's supposed to make me an expert. I'm guessing that is why CS majors get better pay once they get some experience under their belts.
Anyway. I'm sitting here on the couch wishing that I was a tortoise and that someone would just throw a blanket over me and turn out the light. 😂 I don't want to walk to my bed, or turn off the light, or clean my litter boxes, or load my dishwasher, or do anything but sleep. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to be good or not, but we'll see.
I hope you all have a good night. ❤
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