College math...

College math was so much more fun for me because of the discussions and explanations; it was beautiful and interesting and I fell in love. I started school with an open mind; I told myself that I would go as far as I could go and see where that takes me. I don't even have the words to express how much mindset affects performance. I felt like I was having a life crisis through several years of schooling because I was learning things I never thought I'd comprehend.

Attitudes and preconceived notions about math / math abilities need to change. Discussions need to happen. Math deserves better - and students do, too.

I'm not up for shenanigans today.

I've got PMS and I feel pretty cruddy so needless to say I'm not up for shenanigans today. It took me all day to muster up the energy to feed the animals and water a few desperately thirsty succulents. While I was in the sun room, (which is now split between the cat / reptile section and the dog / plant section), Rose came in from outside to get some treats. While in, she decided to bark and growl at a cat which we've been trying to break her from doing.

I'd just come to the dog side of the room and had a plastic box of greens in my hand from feeding the reptiles. Let me note up front that it's the thin, crinkly plastic and not hard in any way. Well, she barked and growled and I loudly said "Ank!" and whopped her muzzle with the greens package which also made a sound. This happened before I could even think about not doing it. I know I didn't hurt her, but this photo is the result of Rose getting in trouble; I guess this means I'm the bad cop. 😂😂😂 

Also, she's still thin. She was thin before she got lost and was thinner when she came home but has gained some weight back (and she's back to her old self). She doesn't have parasites and eats as much as she wants. She's just very athletic and never sits still (I'm familiar with unhealthy dogs thanks to my time volunteering in rescue; I'm fairly sure that she wouldn't have as much muscle as she does if something was wrong). Our next shipment of dog food is going to be a sports mix and hopefully that will put some more weight on her. But anyway, look at that pathetic little lap baby. 😂😂😂

Quick Update about the Lume Deodorant:

Quick Update about the Lume Deodorant:

It's now been 3 days since I showered and applied it and legit - I do not smell gross (well, not in the armpits, anyways).  🤪  I had a PMS fever-sweat yesterday; one of those "I'm cold so I curled up in a blanket and fell asleep but now I'm awake and hot and sweating" type of deals and that didn't even phase it.  I've spent all day sniffing my pits and I'm just now catching a very slight sweaty smell.  I'm exhausted and feeling pretty "blah" so I'm about to shower and head to bed.  But yeah - color me impressed.  The difference between this and anything else I've tried is like night and day.

I don't know if y'all are seeing advertisements...

I don't know if y'all are seeing advertisements on here for Lume Deodorant, but I have been for months and I finally tried it.  I'm about to tell y'all about this stuff.

First, though - some background:

Either my armpits have been stinkier than average or most people are better at hiding it.  I know it doesn't help my case that I wear sleeves and hoodies year-round in this hot, humid weather (I have a sun allergy), but for the most part I'm indoors in air-conditioning and cold.  I don't think I sweat an unreasonable amount, but it's stinky to me and that makes me self-conscious.

I've used all kinds of deodorants and antiperspirants over the years - even trying some clinical strength ones.  Eventually with the strong stuff I started getting a rash and had to stop using them (not that they were stopping my funk, anyway).  So then I looked into "natural" alternatives.  I tried stuff like Lavilin and Primal Pit Paste and even that expensive Native stuff from Wal-Mart.  I never had luck with those, either.

Looking back I think that part of my problem was that my clothing was stained in the pits so that any dampness or sweat reactivated the stank.  Hopefully I am not exceptionally stinky, but between me and Shaun I am definitely the smellier one.  😂😂😂  I have recently learned that an enzymatic detergent will likely help that so my next personal project is to go through my shirts and properly clean them all.  Apparently just washing regularly when wearing aluminum or wax-based deodorants isn't always enough.  I don't know if that is common knowledge or not, but I somehow didn't know it.  Now I do.

So... I tried Lume Deodorant because supposedly it works differently than regular deodorants.  Their commercials can explain it better than I can so I'll leave it to you to look if you're interested.  But I will say that I showered and put it on 24 hours ago and I only smell half-bad.  That is a joke.  One of my armpits smells honestly just fine with a hint of the warm vanilla scent if you sniff up close.  The other armpit smells a bit like sweat, but not as strong as usual.  Maybe I put it on that one before my underarm was completely dry or maybe I didn't use enough - I don't know.  But I am impressed because I've never had a product keep me funk-free for this long.

One thing I will say is that it's a deodorant not an antiperspirant so if you're not ok with sweating then this is not for you.  I don't mind sweating; I just don't want to smell bad.  Another thing worth mentioning is that this stuff does NOT smell pleasant straight out of the tube.  It smells to me a bit like burnt plastic and feet, but I don't smell it unless I raise my arms.  That bad smell does fade as the deodorant dries (it has a lotion consistency), so if you can get past that then I think it's worth trying.  They advertise that one application can last for up to 72 hours; I haven't tested that because I just got these yesterday and I washed and reapplied right before making this post.  I didn't want to sit around with one semi-stinky armpit.  😂😂😂

Anyway, I wanted to share this with you all because I am feeling so happy and un-self-conscious and I want all of my friends to be able to feel that way, too.  I hope you all are doing well!  ❤

Didn't know...

Didn't know I had a Valentine's Cactus. 😂😍😍😍

This is a terrible photo...

This is a terrible photo, but the best we could do. Shaun looked out of the window to find Rose sitting like this (back legs and tail straight out in front of her), alone in the middle of the yard with her head low / eyes open like she was either having a life crisis or trying not to nod off. 😂😂😂 It was so hilarious to behold; I wish we could have captured her face. Unfortunately, something caught her attention and she had to run off and bark so we didn't get a chance at a better photo.

Rose update:

Rose update:

Shaun taught her how to use the doggie door.  She's been in and out, but mostly on the couch.  She seems EXHAUSTED.  She's been growly with Cubba which is unusual, but she went from never being indoors to being lost for almost 12 days to having the option of a couch indoors so she's been through a lot of change.  The dogs are kept separate from the cats which is great because she did not seem fond of them when she finally noticed them.

I'm really hoping that some rest and some familiarity will do her some good.  She laid on Shaun's lap for a while getting petted - barely able to hold her eyes open which is not like her... she's usually running around like a maniac.  I've never once seen her tired out until now.  Poor girl.  I can't even imagine the stress she's been feeling all of this time.  In any case I'm so relieved that she's home and safe.

Y'all, look who's home. I am so relieved!

Y'all, look who's home. I am so relieved! The one mailbox we didn't put a flyer in because it was pretty far off our street has been caring for Rose for the last week and a half. We got a call today; a good Samaritan saw my post on the Talladega Animal Control page.

She seems fine - just a bit thin. We can handle that. Her ID is on and Shaun is securing the fence as I type!

I haven't said much about my life in a bit...

I haven't said much about my life in a bit... for the most part because it's been uneventful (which is a nice change of pace).  I'm calm and relaxed on a deep level which is something I haven't experienced in at least 10+ years.  Me and Shaun are fortunate to be able to do life at our own pace for now; some days we get a whole lot done, some days we rest, some days we play and enjoy each others company.  I have to admit that I'm really enjoying it.  After 5 years of school and me putting everyone and everything 2nd it's been really wonderful to reconnect with him as a couple.  I feel like I love him more every day and I don't even know how that's possible.

We're almost done with things around the house in Talladega; we're about to turn our focus to the house in Anniston so we can get it on the market.  It really doesn't need much work so hopefully we can get it listed by March.  The kids are doing a great job with keeping it tidy and safe.  We will turn in the keys to their apartment tomorrow so that will be a thing that's officially done.  I'm grateful for every bit we check off of our to-do list.

Speaking of things to do - I'm about to start studying for my CSA.  It's something that I've been putting off for while... well - due to school and then due to house stuff, but my deadline will be here soon so it's time to get on that.  My brain has had a nice break so I can definitely handle it.  After that I suppose I'll update my resume one last time and then put it out there into the world and start looking for a job.  I have a good idea of what I want to do so hopefully that will work out.  If not, I'm sure I'll be good for something after all of this schooling.  😂😂😂

Anyway, we never heard anything on Rose.  I honestly think someone scooped her up and is HOPEFULLY taking great care of her.  Cubba now has a doggie door to the sun room and only leaves the yard for play dates; he still climbs the fence to get out but now that he has a couch to come home to he's also started climbing back in.  I knew he could do it.  😂😂😂  He's getting pretty spoiled and likes to go in the car with us anywhere he can.  He's a good boy, though.  Always has been.  He was easy to house train and still remembers his sit / shake / down from before my mental health got bad.  He hasn't had any accidents indoors but has chewed a few of my things (thankfully nothing harmful or major), so that is going ok.  I haven't really let myself be close to another dog since I lost Booka, but maybe it's time.  Seems like we both have a void to fill.

Well, that's all I've got for now.  I hope you all are doing well.  I am and I'm cherishing every minute of it.  ❤

Shaun and I were out and about today...

Shaun and I were out and about today then decided to have an impromptu car date. We curbside picked up some tasty food and ate it parked here with this view of the sunset. Then my car stopped working and the kids had to rescue us. It was cold while waiting for them, but still it was a good day and we are lucky that Shadow and Kira are so awesome. ❤️

Funny side note:  My car has been scheduled for maintenance tomorrow since last week. I cleaned it out this morning in preparation for that - including the jumper cables that would have saved the kids a trip. 😂😂😂 I guess that's just how it goes sometimes. 🙃

Today was really good and I am happier than I've ever been.

Today was really good and I am happier than I've ever been.

Yeah. 🙂 I spent all day with Shaun. That's not unusual since I finished school, but I feel closer to him than ever. We're just next-level right now. I don't know. But it's great.

Are... Are these succulents growing in my yard?!

Are... Are these succulents growing in my yard?!

Y'all, these animals are doing the most right now.

Y'all, these animals are doing the most right now.

We still haven't found Rose and at this point I have to assume that she's been taken or killed because we've found no sign of her. She's very pretty and I'm choosing to hope for the best which is that someone picked her up and is taking good care of her. If she turns back up I will be happy, but we searched for 3 days on foot and by car, put flyers in all of the mailboxes in the area, and I posted her online and contacted the shelters, all to no avail. There has been no trace of her since 10 am on the morning she vanished. If she was still around I think we'd have heard something by now.

Cubba has seemed lonely but is doing ok. Since he gets out of the fence he's made friends with the neighborhood dogs so there's that. One of the neighbors I contacted while searching for Rose said that Cubba comes into his house and eats his dog food. 😂😂😂 Thankfully he wasn't mad, but I swear we feed him. Anyway, Cubba did push past Shaun into the house the other day so we decided that since I'd trained him before that we'll give him access to the sun room, at least. We ordered a doggie door for him. It arrived today with a funny story so here you go:

Shaun gets notifications on his phone when the security cameras detect movement. I heard him absolutely cracking up and asked him what was going on. He showed me video from our camera of our mail lady delivering Cubba's doggie door. Cubba walked up to her, tail wagging, but she didn't see him until she turned around. I guess he startled her because she used the doggie door as a shield and then hopped in the back of our truck. Cubba barked (I assume she startled him back) and then went to investigate her car. She got down and finished the delivery. While she was busy Cubba got in her car and took her pizza that I assume she'd brought for lunch.

Y'all, the video is hilarious but I'm not trying to embarrass this lady. If we somehow get in touch with her and she says it's ok to post I definitely will. We might need to send it in to AFV or something. I feel so bad but I laughed until my stomach hurt. I called the post office and got her name and they said she would be back tomorrow so we're going to leave her a card / note and some money because we at least owe her lunch. If anyone knows a woman named Phoenix who is a mail carrier in Talladega please have her get in touch with me because I am so sorry about all of this. If Shaun had seen the notification in time he would have gone out there and at least kept Cubba from stealing on her. I promise he is friendly and fed - he's just too smart for his own good!

The universe is kicking us when we're down.

The universe is kicking us when we're down. The pups new tags arrived today - the day after Rose went missing. I bought this style so it wouldn't be easy for them to snatch off while playing. I had tags like this for each member of my now-deceased pack and I loved them. These tags never came off or made any noise. They are etched deep and were still readable after years of wear and tear.

Me, Shaun, and Cubba just got in from distributing around 75 flyers into mailboxes (I don't even know if that's legal, but eh - I do crimes for animals. I need that on a shirt). While we were out we looked for her and called for her with no luck. I posted her to 2 lost pet websites before we left. I'm about to see if there are any shelters or rescues in the area that she may have been taken to. Aside from that I'm at a loss for what to do. 🙁

I know that I wasn't the best pet parent to her and that hurts. I was in survival mode with my mental health and school; honestly, no one has gotten the best from me in a couple of years and I hate that. But since I graduated and moved things have been a lot better. We brought the dogs here - into a yard with a lot more space. We bought them toys and treats and were spending time with them. We played with them and were socializing with Rose. She'd learned to fetch and seemed to like that a lot. When I CAN do better I do it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that this timing STINKS. She went missing as things were improving and we were trying to form a closer relationship with her. I really hope our spazzy little Rose makes it home so we can continue working towards giving her the life all dogs deserve. 💔