This might be gross.

This might be gross. It's about eye stuff, so you've been warned.

At the end of July my upper left eyelid started itching. I couldn't see anything wrong with it, so I went about my life. Eventually, a lump appeared above my eyelashes. It wasn't a stye and it didn't hurt. According to Google, it was a chalazion. Usually harmless and resolves on its own. (If you Google it, some of the images will look gnarly, but mine was just a lump - not red or inflamed or anything like that).

So a chalazion occurs when a duct underneath your eyelashes (on the "waterline") gets clogged. Treatment is usually a warm compress several times a day. In more rare circumstances a doctor will numb your eyelid, flip it, and make a small incision to clean it out. What you are never supposed to do is try to drain it yourself. But guess what I did. 😂

Shaun and the kids seemed far more upset about this lump than I did, so when I got home I started doing the "warm compress" thing. But then it REALLY started itching. So... (this next part might be a bit graphic) I stuck one finger under my eyelid and used another on top of it to press the lump. I got the duct unclogged and continued with the warm compresses.

My eyelid has been leaking since then (the lump remains, but feels smaller) and I thought I was probably on the mend. But for the last 2 days I've been tired, nauseated, and cold-ish. I'm about to head to the doctor because I think I'm probably fighting off an infection - an infection that if it exists I probably gave to myself because I'm an obsessive picker and can never leave things alone. 😂

I guess the moral of the story is that you probably shouldn't stick your fingers in your eyes - especially if Google says not to. 😂

Missed my kitties. ❤️

Missed my kitties. ❤️

I am wishing my favorite person ever...

I am wishing my favorite person ever the happiest birthday today. My beautiful Shaun is now 40!

I am halfway kicking myself for not surprising him with my time off, but I wanted his help with booking my travel. 😂 I don't even have a gift for him today. 😢 I'm bummed about that, but the last 2 weeks have been crazy and I'm just happy that I was able to be here with him because I really thought I wouldn't.

We've had a pretty chill day. We ate at Shaun's favorite restaurant and Kira is making him a cake. I think Shadow might have a surprise up his sleeve, but we'll see. Maybe we'll go up to the mountain this week. I know he would love that.

Anyway, I'm off to chill with the fam. I hope you all are doing well! ❤️

Every year...

Every year GlideFast hosts an event for the employees called GlideFest. This year it's in Montana and it starts tomorrow. Since me and the other ATCs are still considered trainees we're not invited. We did get the week off with pay, though, and WHO in their right mind could complain about that after only 2 weeks with the company?

Not me. I flew home yesterday. Did the "connecting flight" and "check a bag" thing both for the first time AND all by myself. Made it here in time to celebrate Shaun's 40th birthday with him tomorrow. I missed my family. I missed home. But GlideFast is absolutely where I want to be and the time spent away from home for training is going to be worth it for us all. Can't blame me for having so much enthusiasm.

#LFG

My roomie is the best.

My roomie is the best. We have a weird washer / dryer situation in that the washer and dryer is one singular, awful machine and it's in her bedroom closet. 😂

I washed the only towel of mine that I could find last night and went to bed with it drying. The towel was hanging in the bathroom this morning when I woke up to shower. She's so thoughtful and I appreciate her so much.

This whole "being away from my family" situation is rough, but I've made a great friend here. We have similar attitudes and lots of other things in common. Feels like the universe put us together and I'm happy about it. ❤️

This is going to be long.

This is going to be long.  It's been a minute or two since I've been able to get a thought out.

Wednesday the 10th I started my journey from home to Cincinnati.  I got very lucky that my friend Kalien was able to come with me because I am 100% sure the trip would have been far less pleasant without her.  I had kept my emotions in check up until the morning I left home... at which point they came pouring out of my eyes.  I know that crying and driving is a thing, but I would've been so dehydrated after a 22-hour trip.  😂

We talked pretty much the whole trip.  Kalien kept my mind busy, helped me navigate, stopped me from making any dumb driving mistakes, and it was honestly fun.  We arrived at my new apartment on Saturday.  I got a pretty bad headache and didn't accomplish much that day, but I did get to meet my new roomie!  Kelsey and her brother arrived late Saturday night.  We talked a bit and then we all crashed.

Sunday, Kelsey and her brother Tyler went to Ikea and he HOOKED. US. UP.  😆 He wanted us to be comfortable and we definitely are.  Meanwhile, Kalien and I went to an antique store.  I like them, but Kalien LOVES them.  It ended up being SO MUCH LARGER than I imagined it would be.  I also ended up finding a desk and chair that I couldn't not buy.  That was unexpected, but welcome since I did need a work space.  And yes, it is coming home with me when I leave.

Tyler flew home after the big shopping trip (I can't wait to see him again!), and us 3 badass bitches stayed up until around midnight building furniture.  We got it all done!  Then Kelsey and I went to bed since we had a big day on Monday.  Kalien stayed up and staked out the neighborhood and we have her assurance that it is safe here.  😁🥰

Monday morning came, I got up super early, hugged Kalien goodbye since she was flying out while I was at work, and then Kelsey and I carpooled to our new jobs.  Orientation went well.  There's a pup at work named James who's almost always there.  We have an awesome Office Guy + Events Coordinator that I straight-up LOVE.  His name is Bryan.  He's the one who's got the women's bathroom stocked with anything we could want.  He also keeps his nails done and has a really nice fanny pack.  I had to hug him on the first day.  He takes such good care of us!

Tuesday, we spent time working independently.  Wednesday, the CSA class started.  We were on Zoom looking at slides when the owner of the company decided to pop on the call and take an hour to meet all 20 of us individually.  It looked like he was taking notes on us and actually really interested in what we had to say.  I told him about my background and that I'd left my family to be here and he said it got him in the heart.  I feel really, really cared about and appreciated.

I think I mentioned this before, but our insurance started on the first day.  We can already sign up for 401k and the company matches after a year.  We already have a paid week off.  Kelsey and I missed one event because we were home dealing with the internet (utilities here are stupid hard to set up - I don't have any idea why), but we made it to the in-office Happy Hour where yes, there were drinks (I had a Dr. Pepper and some cookies) and we played games on Jackbox.tv.

Yesterday, we all knocked off an hour early to go MadTree Brewing where the company paid for drinks and food.  I had lemonade, and I love that I feel zero pressure to drink anything other than exactly what I want.  Earlier in the week when Bryan got us pizza I'd asked if there was a cheese one and there wasn't and I wasn't upset - just checking my options, but last night at the brewery he put a large cheese pizza down right in front of me.  When I say that I fucking love Bryan, I mean it with my whole heart.  He also takes care to get Kelsey vegan food and milk for the office and we both just appreciate him so much.

I had to be late one day to get our electric transferred to my name and we both had to leave early one day to deal with the internet - no one was upset, there was no pressure to make up the time, and it was amazing.  We have been so exhausted since we've been going since before work started on Monday that I was like "I need the rest more than the money at the moment" and it was totally fine. I have never felt more appreciated or cared for by a company.

I have met 3 giant, amazing dogs in the office, there are Nerf wars, there are events, there are fun Slack channels, and most of these people are just as nerdy as I am and it's amazing.  The bathrooms are stocked, the kitchen is STOCKED - not only with snacks, but with tons of food.  Kegs, too. 😂 Even though this new cohort is me, Kelsey, and 18 guys, I don't feel competed with or like I'm less-than.  It doesn't feel like a boys club at all. I'm making a lot of friends and it feels amazing!

Also, we had a meeting this past week where they sat us down and showed us their 2-year plan for us.  Basically, as long as we're doing what is expected we are on track to make 6 figures within about 2 years.  I am gobsmacked and still can't believe that this is real life.

I haven't had time to process a lot of emotions, but I know that I am grateful to be here and that I still can't believe this is happening.  This is better than I could have ever dreamed.

Also, Kelsey is the damn best.  We have so much in common - down to our black dogs with red collars - and I think I would be far less ok without her here.  She is so hype and positive and smart...  and she's barely taller than me!  😂😂😂  I really feel like this is where I'm supposed to be right now and who I'm supposed to be with.  This whole situation would be worth it regardless, but it's 1000 times easier than I imagined because she's here.

Anyway, here are a few photos.  I'll get more of the apartment later.

I hope you all are doing well!  ❤

My bedroom.

And a butterfly!

Zeus. Bryan's pup.

This is Hank.

James!

My desk! 😍🥰😍

It has a beetle on it!

Our cohort + our manager, Derek on the right.

Our welcome banner from LinkedIn.

Today was amazing, but...

Today was amazing, but I am EXHAUSTED. I haven't had any down-time since leaving Albuquerque on Wednesday.

I would love to say more, but won't have internet until Thursday.

The short version of today:  tons of swag, a stocked bathroom, bountiful snacks, daily lunch provided, pet-friendly office and coworkers, the insane feeling of being so welcomed and supported, and benefits that start TODAY. I don't think I could have dreamed up a more amazing place to work and grow. They definitely play hard and work harder. I am so grateful to be a part of this team!

More soon. Goodnight, friends. ❤️

I went into the bathroom...

I went into the bathroom and this is what I found. Yes, even Midol. Didn't think it could get any better and then... JAMES!

I might be having the best day ever. ❤️

Built SO MUCH furniture today.

Built SO MUCH furniture today. I adore my roommate. First day is tomorrow! I hope I can sleep!

We'll have internet Thursday, so lots of details then.

Goodnight, friends! ❤️

😂 Don't knock it until you try it! 😛

😂 Don't knock it until you try it! 😛

And here comes a migraine.

And here comes a migraine.

Made it to Cincinnati!

Made it to Cincinnati!

So... I have been setting up things...

So... I have been setting up things as they're emailed to me so that I'm ready for training on Monday. It's an exciting process - it makes everything feel so real!

When I got my official email address I noticed that I now have a separate section of apps just for work - and that I can easily toggle them all off at the end of the day.

My new company (I'll post the name on Monday once I'm for really realz there) definitely seems to support a healthy work / life balance. This is just an unexpected show that they are serious.

I am feeling so grateful and excited today. And a little rushed - I guess I need to pack! 😂

Oof.

Oof. I am soaking up all of the cuddles I can get.

My heart. It's breaking. 💔

I've signed my contract...

I've signed my contract and even have a company email.  I've got an apartment in another state that I've never even visited.  I've got a roommate!  My life feels so weird right now.

Look... the "welcome to the program" email made me tear up this morning.  They're going to be greeting us at the door of the building to welcome us in and direct us on the 15th.  I think I'll probably cry.  I'm not planning to - I just think it will happen, which is (I guess) one way to make a first impression.  😂😂😂

I started working in 2001; it was retail.  Next, a warehouse. Then I took a program at a business college to get office work.  Then I spent the next 12-ish years working mainly in 2 offices, but also doing a shit-ton of side jobs to make ends meet.  Then finally Gadsden State and JSU.

I am so grateful to all of the small businesses that helped me throughout my journey, but I always yearned for something different.  Even as far back as 2004 I wished I could work from home.  I always had this anxiety that while I was away at work my house would be robbed (not unlikely in my neighborhood at the time) or it would burn down or that something would happen to Shadow or that my pets would have an emergency and I wouldn't know until it was too late...  There was just so much to worry about and I worried about it ALL.

Now I'm in a much safer neighborhood with my grown kids and my wonderful Shaun (who I joke is my trophy husbang, but honestly - he's a looker 😘) and I'm perfectly happy for Shaun to do whatever floats his boat and for the kids to explore their job / school / career options as young adults while having the safety net of our home.

If "Today Me" could speak to any version of "Past Me" I really don't think "Past Me" would believe that "Today Me" is where we actually are.  Everything that I have going on in my life right now felt like a fantasy and out of reach for so many years.

So yeah, when I walk up those steps on the morning of the 15th I'm probably going to have myself a cry.  Hopefully it's just a little one.

Nerves are setting in.

Nerves are setting in. I had weird dreams last night about getting in trouble at my job training.

I've got my lists made and am slowly but surely getting ready to go. I feel all vibrate-y inside, though.

I'm shortening / sharpening my claws. Gonna make them nice, I hope.

And before anyone asks - yes, I'm taking a box of nail polish. And my teas. And maybe a little plant - I haven't decided yet. I'd pack up a cat or two if I thought it was humane to make them ride all that way for a temporary stay. 😂

Anyway, I'm off to do stuff. ❤️

We just got some food

We just got some food and I got a rice pudding for dessert. I started wondering where it originated, so I asked Google "Where did rice pudding come from?

The reply? "Rice pudding's origin is the world" while showing me a picture of Earth.

I feel like I just got sassed. 😂😂😂

OMG. Look at these boys.

OMG. Look at these boys. They're going to be full-on spooning one of these days. 😂😂😂

Update:  The gap is closing!

I'm leaving for job training...

I'm leaving for job training on the morning of Wednesday the 10th.

I thought I'd be staying alone in Cincinnati, but it turns out that there's a super-cool homie who is also relocating and wanted a roommate.  We seem to have a lot in common and to be honest the thought of being totally alone in a strange place wasn't very comforting, so I'm excited to meet her!  We got our apartment locked down today; we'll do all the rest of the fun paperwork on Monday.

I guess I'm going to spend my weekend doing laundry and making lists and packing.  I've been waiting for this for so long, but now it all feels so sudden.  Time is weird.

I'm having feelings about being away from my family (this includes the animals, of course).  It's all complicated... you know - excitement and nervousness and lots of other things all mixed together.  I need to chill down.  I need to make a bunch of lists and just breathe...

But for now, I think I'm going to bed.  Stupid early, yes.  But my brain has been scrambling around for the last few days and now it's tired.

I hope you all are doing well.  ❤

I had this yummy Peach and Green Chile Danish...

I had this yummy Peach and Green Chile Danish for breakfast this morning. I'm so excited about my job training in Cincinnati, but damn if I'm not going to miss our weird and wondrous New Mexican foods.

If Shaun doesn't mail me Biscochitos once a month while I'm gone, know that that is grounds for divorce. 🤷🏻😂

I've been a little quiet on here...

I've been a little quiet on here because me and the kids made an impromptu mad dash to Alabama to see family before I leave for Cincinnati. Before moving here I'd told everyone that I wouldn't be traveling to visit during the holidays and it's been almost a year since I saw my fam so I seized the opportunity. We got back in last night and I am glad to be home.

We flew there and it was only my 3rd flight ever, but I am proud to say that I navigated us through the airports in both Albuquerque and Atlanta. The kids helped by keeping an eye out for signs, but anyway - we did it. We had a packed schedule already planned on arrival and still didn't get to see everyone we would have liked to. It was a little rough having one rental car for the 3 of us, but we did the best we could.

It was pretty strange being in Alabama and not having a place to be - like a home. 😂 A hotel room just doesn't have the same level of comfort that you find in your own home - especially a hotel room that you're sharing with your kids who apparently stay up talking all night, every night. 😂

Overall, I can't say that I've missed Alabama or that I actually enjoyed being back. Loved spending time with my people? Abso-fucking-lutely. I wish I could see all of my friends and family (and see them more often), but without the "having to go back" part. 

Anyway, I'm off to try to get my life together for my move to Cincinnati. I'm leaving in only a week! 😳😬

I hope you all are doing well! ❤️

Love this.