Today was long. I woke up late, made it to class on time, had a headache all day that Ibuprofen couldn't touch, then it started turning really bad about the time I was headed home. Was really exhausted when I got here, but also starving because I'd eaten a whopping THREE crackers all day. Ate dinner, took Excedrin, and now I'm starting to wake up, probably because of the caffeine in the Excedrin. But that's ok - I'm off work tomorrow and have a ton of homework to do so I'll make good use of my time.
I have a Physics test Wednesday and a new Cal test on Monday - plus the re-take of the one I bombed. I feel surprisingly not freaked out at the moment, though. I've been trying my best and studying so there is not much else to be done.
My goal for this week is to maintain some sort of balance between "getting things done" and "losing my mind." Wish me luck. 😂 I've been told many times before that balance is not my forte. I tend to go hard and then crash. Run at full speed until my batteries are dead. I don't know why I'm that way, but it is what it is. I just have to keep an eye on myself to make sure I don't do that.
Happy week, friends. Getting past this one means I'm officially half-way through this semester. It's not a milestone I usually count, but this time it is. ❤❤❤
There is so much going on in my mind right now. I wasn't planning to write a lengthy post, but suddenly I feel like I have a lot to say. I guess we will see where this goes.
I'm sure it's no secret to anyone who's been around me that I am stressed beyond belief this semester. I have been struggling more and more as the weeks go by. I feel a little better today; as usual I have a ton of studying and homework to do, but I think that seeing my Physics grade helped, (as did an honest conversation with my boss about where I am in life).
I'd planned to work 3 days a week for SCM this semester, but I think I've only done that 2 or 3 times since the semester started. I've either had tests coming up, been too stressed to move (literally overwhelmed and petrified, and / or crying), or sick or injured every other time. So now I'm only at SCM on Thursday and Friday and I think that having the extra day off will help. It sucks for my check, but we'll get through this.
I saw my therapist yesterday and she told me to schedule breaks for myself, make sure to get some exercise, and to up my Celexa if need be. I think those things will help - as will the additional time. Maybe I won't feel as though I don't have time to take care of myself. Shaun and Shadow are doing most of the work around the house (and Shaun doesn't even live here), so I feel supported - I just need to breathe and remember that things are ok. Hard things are hard and I don't have be perfect at physics. 😛
Despite the stress I really enjoy school. The pressure is stemming from the fact that the level of financial ease over the next two years depends HEAVILY on my performance this semester and next... so that's a big deal. At 34 years old I do not want to start taking out student loans. Anyway. This is not where I was going with that when I started this paragraph. 😂
What I was starting to say is that my Intro to Programming teacher was a Math major, as well, and then she went back for a Master's in Computer Science. She said that it opens up a lot of job prospects and that you can also teach anywhere with a Masters. She and others keep telling me that I seem like I have the personality to teach so maybe they see something that I don't. So... now that's on my radar. 😳
I really enjoy tutoring and while I don't want to teach right now I feel like I could see myself doing that later in life. So while I'm definitely getting out and getting a job after my Bachelor's degree I'm starting to think I might not want to stop there - although I think if I went for another degree I would do it at my own pace and not breakneck speed like I am right now. I guess we'll see. That's a bit far off in the future, but definitely something I'm thinking about.
Anyway. After this coming week we'll be officially half-way through this semester so that's a crazy thought. I've been so busy that I guess the time has flown by. Graduation will be here before I know it and then I will have "officially" accomplished something. 😂 Associates in Science with a Concentration in Mathematics - here I come! (Sounds fancy, but I'm told it's basically worthless. But that's ok. Onward!) 😃
Happy Weekend, friends. ❤
My teacher has my thumb drive safe and sound. I didn't organize school stuff last night; I crashed instead. I think I will jump back into that now and get ready for this day. Maybe it will be better than yesterday. Here's hoping!
