Story of my life:

Life update:

Life update:

I think Cymbalta is going to be ok for me.  I've been taking it as early in the day as I can and I still get drowsy, but that was also a thing for me with Celexa and Lexapro that faded over time.  So far I have not slept away most of the day again on Cymbalta like I did that first day, but I do get a little nap in after I take it.  I can live with that until it fades, which I'm assuming will happen eventually.  I am also mostly back to sleeping normally at night.  I can't say it's perfect yet, but I can say that I've noticed my motivation has increased.  I've been doing my daily chores plus a few extras, as well as some studying and homework without Shaun having to encourage me.  This is definitely improvement and I am grateful for it.

In other news:  I dropped Spanish.  I was enjoying the class, but I missed some work the few days I was having trouble adjusting and I also didn't want to have to record myself speaking it to send to the teacher.  I think I can learn it online or with DuoLingo just as effectively, so I will do that.  There will be a lot less pressure on me to do it in my own time rather than for a grade, and less pressure is not something that I will complain about right now.  Also, I'm still brushing up on Calculus for my D.E. class, so it's not like I don't have plenty to do.  And if (for whatever reason) I feel that I don't have enough to do, I can always study for my CSA!

That's about all that is new with me.  We (me, Shaun, and the kids) are all hanging in there and continuing to hide from the pandemic.  Shaun and I make an exception and visit his dad as safely as we can.  We're still utterly baffled by how many people don't seem to take the pandemic seriously, but we can't control anyone but ourselves, so we're just staying away from everyone as much as possible.  Also, don't forget that Black Lives Matter and that is not up for debate with me.  Have a good evening, friends!

Today is Shaun's birthday.

Today is Shaun's birthday.  We kept it low-key because, you know, pandemic, but I think it was nice.  The kids put most of the effort into making it special.  I only ordered a thing or two from Shaun's Amazon wish list, but they came hard with some nice handmade gifts.  Shadow drew this BOMB ASS space cat (two of Shaun's favorite things) in red and black (Shaun's two favorite colors) and Kira made this DELICIOUS Tres Leches cake (his favorite dessert of all the ones she's learned to make) with cherries (his favorite berry).

They came up with these things on their own and I'm honestly so proud of them for being such thoughtful humans and trying to make his day special.  After Shaun opened his gifts and we ate cake, we spent some time as a family playing games and hanging out.  It was really nice.

I know I usually gush about Shaun because today is one of my favorite days since it's the anniversary of his birth, but I did that a few days ago and today I'm just really feeling grateful for my whole little family.  I love them all so much and they make my world a brighter place.  ❤️❤️❤️

I just asked Kira how she manages...

I just asked Kira how she manages to get the whole bathroom counter wet when she washes her hands. 

Her response?

"I go crazy on it."

At least she's honest. 😂😂😂

Today started off pretty rough.

Today started off pretty rough.  I took my Cymbalta yesterday morning but still didn't really sleep last night; maybe a couple of hours here and there.  I woke up feeling like I was going to get a migraine, but thankfully took medicine in time to head it off.  I managed to not nap today; the kids came over and kept me company (and raided the kitchen, of course).  😂  It was good to see them.  Now it's late and I'm sleepy, so that's good timing.  I hope I get some rest tonight because I have class in the morning.  In any case I talked to my doctor and she recommended staying with taking it in the mornings and made sure to let me know I could try something else if this doesn't work out.  I'm not ready to give up on it yet, though.

In other news:  I really really love Shaun.  The other night when I was trying to sleep and I heard him getting ready for work I wanted to tell him "Good morning!" or "I love you" or anything, but I was afraid to rouse myself out of the pitiful semi-sleep I'd been able to achieve, so I didn't.  His schedule is all weird; at his job they are trying to keep the employees away from one another by everyone working a different shift (it's a very small company), so he's going in at 3 in the morning.  It sucks for him to have to go to work so early, but better safe than sorry.

He's been so great to me, even through my depression when I'm just a lump doing its best to keep existing.  He brings me food and does things for me when I'm struggling.  And he's so beautiful to me, with his muscles and his shapes and his fur.  His face is my favorite face ever.  I'm so happy that even after 12 years together my heart still gets happy when he comes home.  I know this is not an easy time for him.  

He's been majorly depressed since Trump was elected.  BLM has affected him.  His dad isn't doing that well and wants him around, but the pandemic makes that scary and stressful.  I wish I could help him with any of that, but instead I'm a depressed lump that probably doesn't make his life easier.  I really don't know why he still likes me, but I'm glad that he does.  I hope that I can be better soon, and that school will pay off, and life will be easier and better - at least in some ways.  But for now I'm gonna go and empty and reload the dishwasher so he doesn't have to see a mess when he wakes up.  That's the best I can offer today.

I think I invited...

I think I invited most of my nail art peeps who would be interested in these custom stamping plates to the group for purchasing, but if not, there's going to be a second round of orders so comment below if you want in. I received my plates today and they look great.

Oof. Took Cymbalta before bed.