Today has been pretty good. 🙂

Today has been pretty good.  🙂

Shaun and I woke up and watched the inauguration together despite going to bed sometime around 4 this morning.  Going to bed so late wasn't part of our plan, but we brought Cubba and Rose (dogs) to Talladega yesterday, finally.  We were concerned that Cubba would climb the fence and he did not disappoint.  Despite having a MUCH larger fenced area in which to run around size doesn't seem to matter to him and nothing is better than FREEDOM.  😂😂😂  Thankfully, he is neutered, friendly, stays close to home (so far), and we are out in the country.  Almost every time we noticed he was out he was already trying to climb back in.  😂😂😂

We hate tying up animals but we did tie him last night because we had to make a trip back to Anniston right after we got them home because we were in a rush due to possible rain and forgot their food.  Since it was their first time being here we didn't want him to get out and get lost.  It was not pleasant for any of us, though.  The fenced portion of the yard is shaped oddly and if we shortened the tie he couldn't reach food and / or the dog house and if we left it long he could just climb on out while still tied.  There was no winning.  We were up so late trying to figure out how to keep him contained.  It was not fun.

Anyway, the dogs survived their first night here.  After the inauguration this morning we went out and played with them for a bit.  Rose LOVES having such a big space to run in.  She's younger and more energetic than Cubba so that makes sense.  Then we needed to get busy moving stuff around here so we were outside working basically all day.  Rose seemed to enjoy running around the perimeter of the fence seeing what we were doing.  Cubba got out twice so we had to tell him he was bad and put him back in.  We started giving Rose treats when she's in and he's out so he can see that good food happens inside the fence.  He's stayed in of his own accord for the last 2.5 - 3 hours so we're grateful for that.  He is a very smart dog so I think he'll catch on.

As I mentioned we worked pretty hard today.  We had cleaned out the basement previously and separated everything from it into the garage; trash on one side and donations / yard sale items on the other.  From doing house updates / repairs and cleaning out some of the rooms in the house we had a similar thing going under the carport out back.  We decided to put all of the trash into the carport and all of the donation / yard sale items into the garage.  It was no small feat.  Eventually we are going to have to rent a large dumpster to get rid of the stuff from the carport.  We still have two more bedrooms plus the shop out back to go through, though, so that's not happening just yet.

I would also eventually like to go through the stuff left in the garage and separate it / categorize it so that it would be easier to search through if we have a garage sale, but that is a task for another time.  With the pandemic still happening that might not even be a thing we're comfortable doing.  I don't know, but I'm not a fan of clutter and disarray so hopefully we figure something out soon.

We worked for about 4 or 5 hours straight today so we are exhausted.  I really wanted to come in and do more stuff this evening but I've eaten and now I feel like I'm crashing out.  Big shock there.  😂😂😂  Thankfully, the weather was really nice for doing outdoor work and I really enjoyed seeing the dogs have fun.  I think it's supposed to rain here tomorrow so maybe that will be a better day for us to work inside.

Anyway, friends, I'm off to get some rest.  I hope you all had a good day as well.  I imagine that a lot of you did not, but it'll be ok.  Our new president doesn't mean you any harm no matter who you are and that is far more than I can say for the last one.  Whether it feels like it to you at this moment or not we as a nation just took a step in a right direction.  Representation matters and this is the most diversity I've ever seen in our government.  It makes my heart happy and I hope we continue down this path.

I'm so relieved...

I'm so relieved that we finally took out the trash that was left to fester for 4 years. I've never been more disgusted than anytime I was exposed to the classless, honorless, moral-less piece of shit that held office before today.

And that Poet Laureate, tho. I need a heart ears emoji.

I need advice / recommendations. I have questions.

I need advice / recommendations.  I have questions.

How do you sell a house?

What are the benefits of going through an agent versus doing it yourself?

If rooms need painting, or the yard needs some landscaping, or whatever along those lines should we do it before putting it up for sale to increase the value of the place or leave it undone so that the new owner can choose how they want things?  If we use an agent do they take responsibility for any of this?  Our house in Anniston is in good shape and we've done some upgrades in the time we've been there, but my living room is not exactly a neutral color and Shaun painted his entire bedroom black.  😂😂😂

Obviously, we will clean the place but how do people get houses to look so perfectly clean in the photos?  Does an agent (if we use one) hire someone to deep clean or is that a thing we just need to do ourselves or hire someone to do out of pocket?  I'm not sure how much time I can personally invest in this because I need to be studying for my certification and looking for a job pretty soon so I'm trying to get an idea of the amount of work that needs to be done and how to best tackle it.

Also, we were planning to let the kids live there until the house sells.  Is that a thing we can do?  Like, say that the house is for sale but that we need a certain number of days to get them moved out?

Thank you in advance for any advice you may have!

I haven't slept well at all tonight...

I haven't slept well at all tonight / this morning; I had a soda yesterday and that was probably enough caffeine to mess me up. But Shaun and Sindar are currently softly snoring back and forth and it's pretty precious. I'm glad I am awake to hear it. 💕

It's a sad day.

It's a sad day. We took down my nest (super awesome full-sized loft bed with shelves and drawers and storage closet and desk space and roll-out twin bed). I love that thing so much, but it's packed away safely in the basement for now. I can't wait for the day we put it back up. We just have to get ourselves settled and arranged first.

GTFO and we got some stuff done!

We watched Trump get impeached for the second time and finished cleaning out the basement. It was a good day! 😁

Let me help you spot some abuse.

If you find yourself in a relationship that brings out the worst version of you, leave it.

I'm feeling reflective.  After all of the nostalgia from the past few weeks I have felt like I wanted to write something but I haven't been sure what.  I'm honestly still not but I thought that (much like my approach to college) I would just start, do my best, and see where it goes.  So here I am again.

I guess we all probably have a past romantic relationship that we consider to be our worst.  I absolutely do and it's probably not the one you would think.  It's not the guy who pressured me into sex and then dumped me after I got a piercing he didn't approve of.  It's not the 20-year-old man who knocked up my 16-year-old self, cheated on me (yeah, I know about it), and then peaced the fuck out never to help and rarely to be heard from again.  It was actually probably the most "normal" looking relationship I had (before my wonderful husbang, obvi) and looking back it was awful.  The funny thing is that I didn't even realize it was awful until someone came along and pointed it out.  I guess that's what makes mental / emotional abuse so hard to spot.

I don't care to get into a ton of detail because I've taken my lessons learned and moved forward, not back, but when one person is never happy with their situation, but refuses to put in work to change it - that is a problem because they will never be happy.  When there is potential to build and grow but one person can't or won't commit to building or growing with you - that is a problem because that is wasted time and energy; you will literally get nowhere with this person no matter how much time or energy you invest.  These things (plus tons more; I'm not up for trying to make an exhaustive list) can happen due to being incompatible which is not really the fault of anyone; that just happens sometimes and the sooner you see it the better.

When there is a double-standard in the relationship (I can do a thing but you can't) - that is a problem, period.  When someone dangles carrots of affection over your head like a donkey to get their way - that is a problem because when you love and care for a person you show affection to them whether they went to lunch without you one time or not, for example.  (And yes, that happened.  😂😂😂)  When your partner publicly insults you and not in a jovial, friendly way that you are ok with - that is a problem (even if you don't notice it, it's a problem and hopefully someone will point it out to you).  When you are made to feel like a terrible partner to the point that you are crossing your own boundaries to keep someone happy - that is a problem.  When you start questioning yourself and things you know to be true due to gaslighting - that is a HUGE problem because who can you rely on if not yourself?

Those things are abusive.  In the moment it might not feel like it and due to that they often they go unnoticed so I'm telling y'all:  If any of this hits too close to home you are not in a healthy relationship.  I was in one like this for more years than I care to admit and it made me so ugly on the inside.  I was anxious and stressed.  I was jealous, but I'm pretty sure he liked that.  I was hateful to a couple of women when my anger should have been directed at my partner.  I have since apologized to those women and some days I feel like I should apologize again.  I don't know what else to say except that I wasn't myself because I was being torn down.  It wasn't who I wanted to be and it sure as hell is not who I am now.

I'm going on 13 years with my favorite person - my husbang.  Being truly loved is so healing and I had a lot of healing to do.  I don't think I've ever been better emotionally than I have since I've been with him.  I have had some mental health issues which are not the same and are the fault of no one; nevertheless, he's been there for me through those, too, and I'm better for having had his help and support.  I really think I'm the best version of myself that I've ever been and I am grateful.  Onward and upward, my friends.  Don't let anyone or anything hold you back.  ❤