I feel like crap today - thank you, hormones. I have a list of chores that I'd like to be doing, but I seriously don't feel like it so I'm writing instead. Oddly enough, this goofy-ass post is kind of related in a round-about way to what's going on with my body so I guess it's appropriate that I feel just bad enough to write it. 😂😂😂 A one, and a two, and away we go!
Before I get to my point I want to make the distinction between sex and gender. Sex (not the act) is assigned at birth and is based on biology, anatomy, and chromosomes. Gender is a social construct and is how a person identifies. If you're determined to stay in the dark ages and believe that either of these things are binary (male and female only) rather than a spectrum, then you really aren't my friend. You can't disrespect my existence (and the existence of many of my friends) like that while simultaneously claiming to care about me (or us).
Anyway. My biology is pretty undeniably on the female end of the spectrum. I have the lumps, am reliably hormonal once a month, have easily had a child, and have never really felt super out of place in my body. My gender, on the other hand, has not always been so straightforward.
In general my opinion on social constructs is that they can get fucked. I don't do the things generally associated with being a "mom." Though I'm nurturing I like taking on more of a "provider" role in the home. My personality is far less feminine than my physical body - which I do still struggle with sometimes. I haven't shaved my legs or armpits in probably about 20 years now. I have shaved my head off and on for close to 17 years, though. I stopped wearing make-up closer to 15 years ago. As I've aged I've presented less and less feminine and have sought out comfort over looks. Don't get me wrong - I think comfort and make-up and body-hair (and nail polish!) are for everyone, but society does not yet agree with me. Therefore, I identify as genderqueer.
All of this is to say that when I got eyelash extensions a few weeks ago and Shaun literally laughed at me when he picked me up from the appointment - I should have seen that coming. 😆😂😂😂 Both of the kids (in a nice, roundabout way) said that I looked weird, too. I also should have seen THAT coming. 😂😂😂
First of all, I asked for something that looked natural.
Big, long, BLACK eyelashes don't look that natural on pale, petite little me - but that is what I left with. Secondly, they were so long that they were brushing into my glasses - blegh. Third, they required me to adjust my sleeping habits (which is not gonna happen) AND they needed to be BRUSHED? Ok - I don't even brush my head hair; I usually don't even have enough to brush. And now I'm gonna brush my EYELASHES? Ha.
They were pretty (if a bit dramatic) for a few days. But after days of sleeping on one side of my face and them getting all twisted up and crazy and starting to fall out... yikes. I knew early on that this was not going to be thing I keep up... but I also did not want to pay to have them removed. The initial expense of having them put on was enough of an investment in this failed experiment for me. 😅
So... rather than pluck all of my eyelashes out I opted to trim them... with nail clippers. The first round of that was not super pretty. 😆 I didn't really care, though - I wanted my comfort back. After a few days of that I was feeling a little itchy... it might have been all in my head, but I wanted those things OFF. So I turned to the handy-dandy internet and wound up trying to remove them with coconut oil and ended up with blurry eyes for a few hours that night and it was no fun. So not long after that my natural eyelashes had grown out enough that I could trim them close to the root with my nail clippers and that is what I did.
So Shaun's over here with barely any eyebrows (those take a long time to grow back, apparently; I didn't realize!) and I'm over here with barely any eyelashes. 🤣🤣🤣 We are a sight to behold. 🤪
Y'all might be wondering what possessed me to try eyelash extensions in the first place. Well, for one - my natural lashes are light and I'm not going to do something that requires effort every day - such as putting on and removing mascara or false lashes - so I was looking for a low-effort solution to that. For two - eyelashes (to me) aren't inherently feminine because almost everyone grows them. Also, I have no problem with enhancing a feature or looking nice; I'm not anti-pretty or anti-looking-nice for myself; I just want to do it on my own terms.
These were just not it. They looked especially goofy compared to my super-light natural lower lashes. I tried, and I failed.
Here is my "I done goofed." face for your enjoyment. 😂😂😂
