Day 4 on Testosterone went well.

Day 4 on Testosterone went well.

I slept about 5 hours in a row before waking up last night, so that's improvement. I took a Melatonin around 3 this morning and slept late again since I didn't have to work. I definitely needed it.

My mood has been more stable. Not only did I NOT ask Shaun to not look at/speak to me, but I had a little bit of energy to check on the greenhouse. I think that my mood was just intense my first couple of days on T, and I read that is to be expected. Hopefully, I'm done being irritable.

My joint aches are almost non-existent, so that's really nice.

So far, so good. I guess I just had to get over the initial shock to my system. Hopefully, things will keep improving. Y'all know I will keep you posted.

Goodnight, friends. ❤️

Calypso snuggs.

Calypso snuggs.

I'm still on the struggle bus, but ...

I'm still on the struggle bus, but I did my walking, my Duolingo, and leg day today. Better late than never.

I went to bed early last night and woke up around 1 am with prickly itching in my downstairs. I scratched before I could stop myself and I noticed some skin changes. I'm really sad about that. I'm still on medication for Lichen Sclerosus, so I thought it would stop my labia from changing and/or disappearing. I don't want them to disappear! They are still there, but I'm distraught. Like, do these changes mean that I'm still in an active flare? I don't know anything. I might look for a dermatologist or something.

I'm in physical distress with whatever is happening down there, plus my hormone situation. It's also causing quite a bit of mental distress, too. I feel really scared and sad and then I take my Testosterone and get rage-y on top of that. I think I handled today better than yesterday. I didn't tell Shaun not to talk to me or look at me, but I was pretty rude to him when Toebean let me know he was hungry for his special food that keeps him from getting stones and Shaun hadn't fed him. 😬  Shaun is basically handling everything around the house at this point, and I'm saving all of my energy and politeness for work, since both are very limited.

So far, I feel that the Testosterone has helped my joint pains some. I am still achy, but not as bad. It's only been 3 days, though, so there's plenty of time for me to feel better.

I woke up around noon and I'm heading back to bed at not-even 10. I feel like my batteries are low and it sucks. I do not know how to function like this.

Goodnight, friends. I hope y'all are having a better time than I am. ❤️

Harley snuggs.

Harley snuggs.

Toebean snuggs.

Toebean snuggs.

It's beautiful out.

It's beautiful out. Look what I missed while bed-rotting today.

I'm about to go to bed because I'm exhausted...

I'm about to go to bed because I'm exhausted, despite sleeping as long as I wanted to today.

So last night I saw someone post about a music video with Roseanne in it. I made Shaun look it up on YouTube on the TV. That was... Something.

After that, there was a video talking about Jafar Jackson and how he sounds so much like Michael. I made Shaun watch that with me, too.

Being tired and done with my bullshit, he turned the TV off because he was going to bed (around 9 last night). Having just learned of Jafar's existence and wanting to know more, I opened the YouTube app on my phone. It presented me with a pimple-popping video and I COULD NOT look away. So I sat here on the couch until 2:30 this morning watching disgusting, grossly-satisfying video after video. I could not stop. For 5 hours I sat here, trapped and entranced. I'm afraid I've now ruined my YouTube algorithm and I'm scared to open it again. Apparently I'm defenseless against pimple-popping videos. Not super shocking since I'm such a skin-picker, myself.

Anyway, I didn't make it out of the bedroom today until around 2 this afternoon. I did do my walking, but not my delayed leg day from yesterday. I will try again tomorrow.

I thought I was ok, but then I found out that my face looked mad. I didn't feel mad, but over the course of the day I asked Shaun to stop talking to me, and then eventually to stop looking at me. So I guess I've felt some kind of way. Like "We can watch TV together, but do not perceive me." 😂 He just went to bed... in his game room. He said it was probably safer that way. 😂😂😂

I really need to do my nails. I've had this gel overlay on for 3-ish weeks. Maybe 4. I cut my nails recently because they were getting too long, but the gel is starting to lift and that's probably causing damage. But I obviously didn't feel like doing nails today. On top of my mood, I've felt tired and also foggy. I can't blame the hormones because I'm the one who stayed up late, but I'm sure they are doing something. I'm on day 2 of Testosterone and started my Hypothyroid meds today.  I should probably be resting and taking it easy while my body adjusts. So, goodnight. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.