Just updating:

Just updating:

We've been doing mostly ok.  The kids have been distraught (like, VERY) about the war / takeover situation.  I think they're cooling down, but Kira had a few days when the news was fresh and her PMS was coming on strong and she was (understandably) super emotional and not ok.  I remember being about their ages when the Twin Towers were struck and feeling scared and helpless and hopeless, and wondering what the future held for my very young Shadow.  I don't want to say that Shaun and I are "used" to war as a fact of life, but the fact that it's not hitting us as hard speaks volumes.

Ever since the death of Rose I've thrown myself even harder into things I want to accomplish:  I've still managed to update my blogs daily from Facebook memories (it might seem trivial, but it's a small piece of a larger puzzle).  I've gone through and organized / categorized most of the photos from my phone, laptop, and external hard drive.  A lot of those photos were of nail art for inspiration, or photos of polish I really like.  Those inspiration photos are all categorized and most are uploaded to my Pinterest... I should have the remainder of that finished tomorrow.  The polishes I want are now stored in Google Drive by brand and polish name.

Speaking of nail polish I've also gone though and put the other half of my polish into my database - FINALLY - as that was a project I started before college and then never had a chance to finish.  Needless to say, I've discovered that I have an OBSCENE amount of nail polish (closing in on 4000 bottles of non-gels) and that hits it home to me that I need to get back to making jewelry and also expand into pre-decorated press-on nails.  I have a hard time not doing stuff so I'm not upset that I can always have those things as a backup of something simultaneously fun and productive to do.  I've seen nail sets sell on Etsy and I think I could do well with that.

While still on the subject of nails I've also been studying gel application and removal and the difference between types of gels.  I feel like I've learned a lot.  So gel polish is apparently a type of soft gel that you are able to soak off with acetone.  I also have some hard gels that are not supposed to be able to be soaked off and instead need to be filed off.  They are usually used for overlays (just a protective reinforcement layer on the nail) and enhancements (when you want to add length beyond the natural nail).

I had been using a really stiff hard gel on Shaun as an overlay, but he uses his nails like tools and therefore they bend sometimes... meanwhile the gel stays stiff and so it separates from the nail.  I ordered a softer hard gel that will flex so I'm hoping we have better luck keeping that down on him.  I'm also going to try it as an overlay for myself because I'd like for my natural nails to grow out a bit and right now they're all peely and sad.  I'd rather try the gel overlay than chopping them all off (which is what I'd normally do).  So we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I would definitely say that I've been hyper-fixating on some things, but I'm not upset about it.  I'm getting so organized and it's how I'd have like to have been all along, but that is not how life worked out.  So now I'm fixing it and it is SO SOOTHING to my brain.  I was literally giddy the other day when I looked at my Google Drive and could just so easily see my "wishlist" of polish.  I'm thrilled to be able to have a spreadsheet copy of my polish table from my database in there, as well - so no more buying dupes accidentally.  Next up, I'd like to work on moving my database from Access to MySQL and possibly putting it online (just to see if I can).  That means I'll probably have to learn PHP or something, but that's ok.

So I'm just over here doing nerd shit and loving it.  Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap up some of the smaller details that have been bugging me so that I'm chill enough to go skating and stuff like that again.  The most physical activity I get lately is cleaning the house or going to the park with Shaun and Cubba.  There is nothing else I want to do besides organize until I'm done and I've learned that when I'm like this it's best to go with it because I literally won't enjoy doing anything else until I'm finished or this urge passes.

Well, I'm off to copy my Facebook memories for the last time this month and then I'm going to see if I'm awake enough to do the gel overlay on myself.  If not, that will be a plan for tomorrow while I wait for the solar company to do the inspection that was rescheduled from the other day.  I hope you all are doing well.  I haven't really been on here much or checked in on anyone in a while and I'm sorry about it.  I still care about my friends and family but I'm in a "reach out if you need me" type of mindset for bit.  Y'all take care!  ❤

Kira made these bomb-ass pancakes...

Kira made these bomb-ass banana pancakes and chocolate chip pancakes the other day. I'm pretty sure she's in the kitchen cooking up something new right now. Can't wait to taste whatever it is.

Speaking of Kira:  We were watching a movie the other night and she straight up made us pause it so she could show us the "gum pocket" on her jacket. It was very exciting. 😂😂😂 She keeps us fed and entertained. We love that kiddo. ❤️

I guess he's just having a hard day.

I guess he's just having a hard day. When I was cleaning I moved something heavy in front of his doggie door and forgot to move it back so he was trapped outside for maybe 10 minutes in the cold. He came in and told on me. Look how sad. 😂😂😂

Shaun had to wrap him in a blanket and warm him up. Because he's a rotten baby now. 😂

He's honestly been so spoiled since becoming the only dog.

He's honestly been so spoiled since becoming the only dog. It's pathetic. He's so ruined we might have to throw him out. 😂😂😂

I've had another low-energy day, but...

I've had another low-energy day, but 2 good things happened:

1) Kira made this bomb-ass cheesecake last night and we ate the whole thing already, and

2) My handsome, sweet little Tort Baby is waking up after months of brumation. I've MISSED him!

I've been a mess for the last few days...

I've been a mess for the last few days and have been avoiding interacting with people IRL and on the Internet when possible.  It's PMS time and it hit me crazy hard - both physically and emotionally.  I just absolutely have not been any semblance of normal.  I've been nauseated and head-achey and LOWWWW energy for the last several days which is NO FUN AT ALL.  I've spent most of my time sitting on the couch watching shows with Shaun, or napping.  I did shower yesterday, though, which was nice.  Well, it was nice physically, anyway.

I don't know how or why but I got in my feelings right before / during that shower.  Shaun had asked me once or twice if I would go to the park with him and Cubba and I was like "Maybe.  I don't feel that good, though."  So in my head the whole time I was in the shower I was just like "I'm just gonna be an adult and tell him I just need to be left alone today.  I don't feel good, no park, don't talk to me unless there is food.  Like, don't even talk to me about food decisions - tell me after y'all have decided what to eat because I just CAN't today."  So after I showered I went to see him and I was keeping my cool and I said basically what I typed.

He's understanding and great because OF COURSE HE IS.  But instead of making food decisions with the kids he said that I should choose what would make me feel better and they could just eat with us or not.  Then he started listing food I like.  And he said "Chinese Food."  And let me tell you - I haven't cried that dramatically in AGES.  I straight up BAWLED "I don't WANT Chinese!  You and Kira always eat my leftovers and I haven't got to eat one leftover yet!"  Yes - I cried over Rose and Bruce, but I was somewhat in control of myself in those situations.  Over these Chinese leftovers - I was NOT.  Not even close.

So we had food from my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner last night.  Before Shaun even got back with the food I had already composed myself and cleaned off the table.  My hormones right now are so unpredictable and I hate it.  I used to be like this every month (the crying - not the nausea, headache, and fatigue part) and I guess I was used to it, but after a reprieve and then being slammed with it full force like yesterday I can say that I definitely don't miss that roller coaster.  I don't know how I got through my teens and early twenties like that.  Not that my most recent "normal" of feeling legit sick is any more fun, but anyway.  Enough about that.

Today I've been pretty meh.  I did, however, go to the park with Shaun and Cubba.  We walked a bit and then decided to take Cub into the off-leash doggie park.  He'd only been to parks with Rose before and since everything scared her we'd leave if another dog arrived so this was really new for him.  There were A LOT of dogs there - I'd say at least 20.  They all came running to the gate to smell him before we even got in and eventually I just walked through them and he did, too.  He seemed a little jumpy with so many other dogs smelling his butt at one time, but he eventually realized it was all good.  He saw some kids and of course visited them (politely) and made rounds playing with other people and getting petted.  He play-bowed to a pair of dogs who were playing but immediately looked like "Nevermind, just kidding." and went the other way.

He's a very social boy but I can imagine that he was overwhelmed.  He eventually wandered to the gate and we took his cue and left... but not before another dog tried to pee on him.  How rude! 🙄  We'll definitely be taking him back - maybe earlier in the day and not on a weekend.  I think he'd like it better with fewer dogs until he gets used to things.  But today wasn't bad - he handled everyone like a good boy (which I figured he would).  He's definitely the social butterfly of the house.

Anyway, I'm off to finish up some things and call it a night.  I hope you all are doing well.  I promise I'm not ignoring anyone - hopefully I'll feel up to responding to comments and messages tomorrow.  Love!  ❤️

I felt really bad yesterday.

I felt really bad yesterday. It's PMS time and I was drained and nauseated ALL DAY. I think the only thing I accomplished was taking a shower. Outside of that I napped, ate, and cuddled with Shaun and the animals.

When I got up this morning it was snowing, but it was pretty much gone by the afternoon. Shaun and I built a cat tower for the sunroom and put up some rope lights in there temporarily to see if we like them. We do so we'll get them straightened out and anchored in place soon. We also put together a huge umbrella to shade some outdoor chairs. We made the most of the day, I think.

As the sun was setting, Shaun and I went upstairs to watch it. The last photo is of the sunset. It's pretty, of course, but the clouds on top of the mountains kind of look like a lizard to me. 

While I felt less bad today than yesterday I'm still battling bouts of nausea and cramping. I usually have a standing date to video chat with a friend on Thursdays, but I've been so out of sorts lately that I didn't realize it was already Thursday until it was pretty much too late. I feel like a jerk. 🙁 But my friend is amazing and understanding so she's probably not offended.

Rose has officially been gone for a whole week as of today. We all still miss her. The kids were making pizza earlier and when the oven timer went off Kira said something about how Rose always whimpered and whined at the timer. It is a little loud, but Rose used to make a production of it. I guess she never knew when it was coming or what it meant so it stressed her out.

I'm sorry for the messages and comments that I haven't responded to. I feel emotionally like I'm in battery-saver mode so it's hard to try to be social right now. But I love and appreciate you all. ❤️