Back when I was diagnosed with PSA...

Back when I was diagnosed with PSA I joined Inspire, a health and wellness support group.  I guess they have groups for every kind of illness.  I don't really know.  But if you're not ok, maybe you should go there and check it out.

I posted there recently because I just feel super not ok.  Apparently, I'm in "the Gap" - that horrible place when you're in pain and your medicine hasn't kicked in yet.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not glad that others are feeling this way, but it's kind of a relief to be able to talk with some people who have the same condition and are living proof that it can (and does) get better.

One of the ladies who has PSA and was also a nurse said that when I talk to my doctor tomorrow I should ask for her to prescribe an NSAID for me to take with my methotrexate.  I think I will.  Also, I found (many hours after the fact) that I missed a call from Dr. Crawford's office so I will call them back right after class tomorrow.  Maybe they don't have bad news for me.

This probably sounds totally weird, but you know how if you have sensitive teeth and you drink something cold - that pain it causes in your teeth?  If Shaun even so much as rests his hand on my thigh I feel that same kind of pain in my knees.  Like my knees have sensitive teeth and his hand is ice water.  I don't know what that means and I'm just too tired to Google it this evening.  It's probably nothing good, though.  😕

After today I am starting to worry that my right knee has become damaged from the inflammation.  I'm having trouble navigating stairs now.  This morning I actually started to consider the possibility that I might need a cane if things don't improve soon.  I guess that's ok.  At least I would have something on hand with which to beat people who invade my space.  😂😂😂

Or it could just be that I'm rebounding because I took steroids.  I have no way to know.

Anyway.  I'm heading to bed.  I feel exhausted.

P. S.  I'm sorry that I'm so whiny and negative.  I just feel pretty devastated right now.  Unfollow me for a while if you need to.  I'm having a hard time thinking about anything other than ways to get through this.  ❤

Been watching Star Trek Voyager...

Been watching Star Trek Voyager and just sat down to start on the new OITNB.  Red sounded really familiar.  Captain Janeway!  WHATTT!?  My mind is blown.  😳

This place is SO pretty. Having a milk tea. Yum!

This place is SO pretty. Having a milk tea. Yum!

So last night after I posted...

So last night after I posted that the Prednisone wasn't keeping me awake... yeah.  I couldn't fall asleep for hours.  🙁  Maybe it was just the methotrexate dose on Friday that helped me sleep earlier this weekend.  Now I am sad.

I have usually taken my Prednisone by much earlier in the day, but I haven't eaten anything yet today so I haven't taken it.  I am uncomfortable and can already feel the heat in my knees and hips.  I'll be hurting pretty good by tomorrow if I don't take it.

If you had to choose pain or no sleep what would you choose?

I am at a loss.  Life feels like a roller coaster at the moment and not in a fun way.

I didn't hear from Dr. Crawford, though they told me on Friday that they would call today.  Maybe I'll go see Dr. Edmond again one day this week.

I made an 83.

I made an 83.  I am actually NOT happy about that at all.  That was WITH my bonus included.

And I thought I had a clue.

Just got home from taking my Algebra test...

Just got home from taking my Algebra test.  I'll be HAPPY if I make a B.  😕  I'll be surprised if I make an A.  🙁

Now, I wait...

So, I finished my English paper earlier today.

Ok.  So, I finished my English paper earlier today.  I also went over my test review for Algebra - TWICE.  I feel only OK about it - not great, but maybe looking at fresh problems in the morning will help.  I did NOT complete my last chapter of Algebra homework - the problems were long (taking up half a page in some cases) so I decided it was not worth the stress of pressing myself to finish.  IF she even takes up that chapter it will be for bonus points, so I'm not freaking out.

My test is first thing (at 8 in the morning) so hopefully my brain will be awake enough to do well.  I might get up a little early just to make sure I am functional.

Other than that I am dealing with the half-dose of Prednisone quite well.  I have not been sick, crazy, or sleepless since I cut my dose in half.  I mostly don't hurt - I can even sit "Criss-Cross" comfortably for a few minutes!  And cross my legs and bend my knees!  I do get uncomfortable if I stay in one position for too long or stand for too long, but this is major improvement.  I honestly can't even remember the last time I felt this ok.  It feels weird to not hate walking and sitting and just doing things that I have to do on a daily basis.  I still haven't quite accepted it - it's like I'm just waiting for the pain and discomfort to come back, but maybe I can settle down and stop thinking about it soon.  Maybe feeling ok will become my new normal.  🙂

Anyway.  I have to go and rest my brain and get some sleep.  Wish me luck on the test tomorrow.  As usual - I'm shooting for an A!  🙂  Goodnight, Internet land.  ❤