Shaun and Kira are watching the Cats musical and crying.

Today was the last class day of the semester.

Today was the last class day of the semester. It's always exciting to put another one behind me, but I feel like I have school friends this time so it's also kind of a bummer.

In other news:  I'm about 3 semesters away from graduation (if nothing goes awry). That makes it sound like it'll happen soon, but it's about a year and a half away. But that's still not long in the grand scheme of things. 😲

Anyway. Finals are next week and then I get to relax. Woo!

Woke up to Anansi being weird.

Woke up to Anansi being weird. What is this child doing with her butt in the air? 😂😂😂

Tfw you wake up at 5:45 to pee, then...

Tfw you wake up at 5:45 to pee, then you break a nail, and then you hear your tarantula walking around so since you can't get back to sleep you get up and clean the tarantula house and refresh her dirt, walk the dogs, get an eyeball scraped by Faith's wagging tail, and try to go back to bed but end up on the Internet at 6:30 a.m. 😒

This morning I saw my betta, Saul...

I've never been good with plants or water animals...

I've never been good with plants or water animals. Currently, I have two bettas who blow bubble nests and live with marimo balls, and all seems well. The only other plant I've ever kept alive is Bob, my Dragon Tree, who came with my house and I doubted he was even a real plant for the longest because he didn't immediately die. 😂😂😂 We're going on 12 years together, and he's even got some baby Dragon Trees sprouting, so I'm going to try branching out a little, myself. 😛

I love the way succulents look, so that's what's up. I have had various succulents as my screensaver for the last few years because they are just beautiful and magical to me. I'm also trying some air plants because they are supposed to be easy. We shall see. I hate to admit that I have killed cactus plants and bamboo before, and as a child, an air plant once. 😞 I am determined to do better this time.

Both Shaun and Dinorah have gotten me succulents recently (not pictured yet, but soon). This is my haul from Lowe's this evening. Now all I need is some bamboo and I'll be set (my birthday is tomorrow - just sayin'. LOL) Anyway, I'm off to do some more reading about my new family members. 🌱🌵🌿😍

Found some truth. Couldn't keep it to myself.

Found some truth. Couldn't keep it to myself.

It's been a busy day.

It's been a busy day. Kira's butt-probing went fine. They didn't find anything wrong, thank goodness. We're hoping her pain and other symptoms can be attributed to the gall stones. We'll find out more about that on Wednesday.

After we finally got home I gave my turtle and tortoises new dirt. Tomorrow Bruce and Koopa get fresh substrate, as well. I'm trying to make the most of my week off. I do have some homework, but all of my kids come first. My brain needs a break, anyway.

For now I'm off to hang with Shaun and the dogs, and possibly paint my nails. I hope you all have a good week! ❤️

I go and eat free food if invited, but...

I go and eat free food if invited, but I don't celebrate this day. My heart is with the Natives.

No one told me...

No one told me we were expecting a blizzard today.

After two days in a row of doctor visits and tests...

After two days in a row of doctor visits and tests we've learned that Kira has gallstones and giant tonsils. I'm thankful that we're finally getting somewhere with figuring out her stomach pain and difficulty swallowing.

I never enjoy being the one to bash another person's work, but our experience with Dr. Kashyap was bad. He seemed ok at the first appointment and prescribed her some medications, but when those weren't helping and we needed to see him again he'd just call in a prescription for something else she'd tried previously that didn't help - without even talking to us. After that, he left us hanging for 2 weeks with Kira in pain before he had a nurse call and say that he wasn't taking her insurance anymore. Needless to say, we were upset because quite frankly it was bullshit to let her hurt for that long with no help. 

She is now seeing Dr. Eloubeidi. She had an EGD and endoscopic ultrasound done yesterday. She's got a colonoscopy and Pipida test scheduled for next week. Both Dr. Eloubeidi and Kira's primary care doctor complained about her large tonsils, so she saw an ENT today. The ENT said she would like to see Kira's tonsils again in 3 weeks after we see how well the meds that Dr. Eloubeidi prescribed work. We're all hoping that they'll shrink a bit and that she'll get to keep them.

We've got several appointments to keep over the next few weeks, but it'll all be worth it if we can get our sweet girl feeling better. I'm thankful that I'm out of school next week because I feel like there is a lot to juggle at the moment.

Anyway, that's what's going on with us. I hope all of you are doing well. If not, hang in there until things swing in your favor! ❤️

Painted my nails the other day.

Painted my nails the other day.  Wanted to share them sooner, but got lazy.  Then wrecked the thumb on the fridge this morning.  😂😂😂  I took that as a sign that I'd better hurry up and get a photo.

I'm wearing Tonic Nail Polish, of course.  The lighter color is called "Red Right Hand" and the accent nail is "Firefly."  The red glow in Red Right hand really pops next to Firefly.  I stamped the lighter ones to darken them up a bit and make them even more interesting to look at.

I'm sorry that this isn't the best photo.  I don't know what to say other than that I'm tired and didn't want to try anymore. I think this rainy weather is making me want to hide under blankets and cuddle the animals.  LOL

Anyway.  This is the closest I've come to nail art on myself in quite a while.  😕

Studying for the last Linear Algebra exam of the semester!

Studying for the last Linear Algebra exam of the semester! Sometimes I get photos of the board because the teacher works fast. Here's a sneak peek at what we went over on Wednesday. 😊

This is the apologetic face...

This is the apologetic face of someone who was chilling beside me, but then jumped up so suddenly that she headbutted me in the face. 😂😂😂

Worry not, goofy-head. You are always forgiven. 😍😍😍💗💗💗

Today was stressful.

Today was stressful. I was supposed to do my presentations this morning (one solo, one with a partner), but that didn't happen. I guess plans changed and I didn't get the message before I drove to school. My project partner can't take off work again, so I guess I'll be presenting our joint one alone. Woo.

I missed Kira's appointment with her new stomach doctor this morning because I thought I was doing presentations at school. Despite money being tight, Shaun took off work to take her. At least it seems like she has a better doctor this time. He's ordering both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy for her - she's got those appointments coming up starting next week. Hopefully, we'll get her stomach issues worked out soon.

After I saw that I wasn't presenting my projects I came home to study for my test that was this afternoon. I am sure I didn't make an A and a B seems unlikely. If I had to guess I would say I might have been in the C range. I'm pretty sure I didn't fail it, at least. We shall see. It was in Organization and Architecture, which I've been doing fine in all semester.

I got home around 5. I saw that "King of the Hill" is on Hulu now, so I put that on the TV and just chilled out until Shaun got here. I tried all evening to work up the motivation to paint my nails, but I never could. I've been a lump. I think the peak of this day is going to be the shower I'm about to take. I'm just beat. I'm so tired and stressed. With school, politics, the kid's health, and money, I guess it's to be expected.

Anyway. I'm off. Goodnight, all. ❤

I made a 94 on the last Linear Algebra exam

Both of my bettas have made bubble nests.

Shaun, Shadow, Kira, and I went out for breakfast...

Read this post. The change is noticeable.

Read this post. The change is noticeable.

TLDR; Things change. People change.

Two years ago (2016) I had trouble believing that I actually could attend JSU. Though I don't believe in fate I never felt that it was "meant" for someone like me. I started there Fall of last year, so I'm just over 1 year in as of now.

One year ago (2017) I was BROKEN. I was NOT ok. Leaving Gadsden State was HARD; Student Support Services @ GSCC had become an important part of my life, and the people there helped me in so many ways. It was so scary to be away from them, but I couldn't let that stop me. I'd worked so hard to get to JSU. That one transition alone was tough enough, but then it was made even harder by the fact that so many changes took place that first semester.

My family changed - I lost a very dear member, trailing several back-to-back losses of very dear souls. I gained one very special family member in September who was still dealing with that transition when tragedy struck her relatives, leaving her suddenly in the same day losing an aunt and a brother. I'd left my full-time job of 9 years to pursue my education, which was a huge leap of faith not only in myself but in my relationship with Shaun. So a lot of things were terrifying and different and wrong and it all came to a head when I lost my composure over a LINEAR ALGEBRA TEST in DSS @ JSU.

I was scheduled to take an exam there and I knew that I was going to fail it. With everything that was going on I hadn't studied like I needed to. Since I was there early I asked if I could sit on the couch in DSS and study for a few minutes. The nice lady told me no, but that I could walk to the TMB and study there. I told her that I could not. She tried to tell me that it was just around the corner, but I repeated to her that I couldn't go as I began to shake with tears welling up. She asked if I was ok and I wailed "No!" and started crying uncontrollably.

In that moment I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I was truly and completely overwhelmed to the point of mental breakdown - I literally couldn't have made myself walk to the TMB or do anything else - not one single thing. I was empty. I was more stressed than I'd ever been. I needed help. The universe sent it in the form of Mr. Len, who was a counselor just returning from lunch. He talked to me. He consoled me. He looked shocked when I told him the things that were happening in my life. He called and made an appointment at Student Health for me, which I kept. The doctor put me back on antidepressants and I survived. I dropped Linear Algebra, but I survived.

Now (2018) things have settled. JSU feels good and right to me. I'm learning a lot and I no longer feel like it's "not meant for me." I feel as though I've earned my place there. I no longer talk about graduation in terms of "if" - instead it's "when." (May 2020 is the goal). I'm counting down semesters (there's basically 3 after this one, not counting summer). I'm more than halfway to a Bachelor's degree. There are still some hard classes coming my way, but I've come too far and fought too hard to let that stop me.

The largest hurdle by far has been the mental blocks and the personal growth it's taken to get to the mindset of "I can probably do this." I've made a lot of sacrifices - time with family and friends, hobbies, helping animals - but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it one day. Change is hard - even positive change. I've been struggling with that since starting at Gadsden State. For the majority of this time on top of classes, my brain has been struggling to process the fact that I might actually earn a degree and launch a career. I've always thought myself to be an open-minded person, but changing my mind about my own limitations has proven incredibly difficult.

Anyway, that's enough deep-thinking and reflection for a Saturday morning. I'm off to do homework and chill.

Linear Algebra exam tomorrow.