Probably don't read this. I'm just late-night babbling.
I'm SO glad to be out of school. I've spent the last few days cleaning and running errands and taking the kids to appointments. I see several more days of that in my near future - thanks to me putting off everything I possibly can when I'm in school. Playing catch-up is fun. /sarcasm
I'm so ready to graduate next year for so many reasons. Money. Stress. (I know that jobs can be stressful, but the pressure I put on myself to perform well in school to change my life is pretty extreme.) Time off when I'm sick. Paid vacation. HEALTH INSURANCE. Peace of mind. The list goes on.
I've been feeling pretty good lately aside from my lack of motivation this semester. I've been taking care of myself. I've been saying "No" when I want to without feeling like I owe an explanation. Me, Shaun, and Kira walked to a park the other day and I got to swing and I loved it. Then I went down a slide and got my butt wet because it had rained. LOL I look forward to more days like that and taking the dogs to the dog park.
I feel so grateful to be married to my best friend. Shaun is the first and only person I have ever been my whole self with. I'm so happy when he comes home from work. I love his face. I love his whole self. He really is my partner, and I've never had that in a relationship before. I honestly don't think I've ever even SEEN that in real life before. Anyway. I'm glad I finally moved in with him. It took me long enough, but it's really nice living with someone you're super compatible with.
I've been in a pretty good headspace recently, I guess. I'm still taking Lexapro and I guess it's working because I am not depressed. The doctor said it would help with anxiety and I didn't really think I had anxiety but overall I feel a lot more chill than before, so maybe I did have anxiety. I'm not complaining, except that maybe it dulled my competitive edge which might explain my lack of motivation with school. That, or burnout. But either way. I'm determined and I'm going to make it through. I'm so close to finishing.
Speaking of that: After next semester I can start looking for a job. That will be fun. I have a good idea of where I want to work and what I want to do. Hopefully the timing will be good and it won't take long to get hired. Even if I don't get my first choice I'm sure I'll work somewhere. People are constantly scouting Computer Science students at JSU and it's kind of annoying, to be honest. I'm over here like "Just let me do one thing at a time!" Like any of us students need the stress of starting a job when we're in the middle of classes. I don't know. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but that's just how I feel. I guess during my last semester since I'll only be taking two classes (if all goes as planned) I wouldn't mind, but with a full class load, NO WAY, man. No thanks. LOL
Well, there isn't really much else on my mind at the moment so I'm going to chill down and work on a spreadsheet for my plants. My collection has gotten a wee bit out of hand and it will be fun to track it, I think.
I hope you all are having a good night. I know I am. 🙂
