A few blooms from today. 😊

A few blooms from today. 😊

Why does that first pic remind me of a snail? 😂

Shaun tends to do traditional anniversary gifts...

Shaun tends to do traditional anniversary gifts, and the 7th year is copper or wool. We decided to have a Wool Experience and went to an Alpaca farm. It was a fun time. The highlight of the day was being handed a young Alpaca. They really don't weigh much, which is shocking.

Shaun wants a kinetic wind spinner, so I think we'll get a copper one for the yard when we find a nice one this year. Neither of these things happened/will happen on the actual day of our anniversary, but it doesn't matter. We both go with the flow and I think that's nice.

So the baby we're holding is Papito. The brown one who liked selfies is Brownie; I got a wool hat that reminds me of his fur. He kept creeping up over my shoulder when we were meeting Gordo, the tortoise. I can't remember who all we hugged and walked, but they let us meet everyone. There were like 8 Alpacas, a large Sulcata tortoise, a beautiful dog named Zeus, and some gorgeous chickens. Everyone was so friendly. Y'all know I was so happy. 😊❤️

We have water to the greenhouse!

We have water to the greenhouse! I'm so excited!

Maybe we'll get electricity done next (not just by extension cord). 😂

I spent some time in there today. Can anyone tell me the name of this plant? I have had it a long time and it's doing really well in the greenhouse, but I don't know what it is.

Also, look at the orange today! 🧡

Gymnocalycium flowers today!

Gymnocalycium flowers today!

Happy ¼ of a Century to Kira today!

Happy ¼ of a Century to Kira today! We're kind of on opposite schedules right now, so me and Shaun stayed up late to have birthday dinner with her. We hung out, talked, and watched music videos while we waited for the food to arrive. I always love hanging out with this girl. She's so funny and sweet!

Shadow got her some cute cupcake earrings, and we got her a Concha pillow. We're going shopping this weekend, so that should be a lot of fun!

Happy Birthday, Kira! It's been amazing watching you grow into such a beautiful young woman. We're so proud of you! 💙

This is what it's like...

This is what it's like when Bear wants to go to bed and the cats get all excited because they get wet food after Bear is tucked. Everyone crowds around Shaun and telepathically sends him their "I'm tired, I'm hungry" vibes. 😂

We're running water to the greenhouse soon.

We're running water to the greenhouse soon. We don't have a great spot to tap in without pulling up all of the landscaping we did last year, so we've got a different plan. It'll be great not to have to carry buckets and buckets of water out there. I'm excited. Hopefully, the ease of watering will help me keep my plants fat and happy this summer.

Captions on the pics. 😊

Probably my oldest plant. She's doing well.

The shelf I rearranged. I had the 6 large white pots all on the top together, but the black trays wouldn't fit 2 per shelf without hanging over the edge. This arrangement definitely makes more sense.

Pretty orange flowers! 🧡

I love the shape and color and texture of this weirdy. I also love the long black spines on the cactus behind it.

Cholla and Prickly Pair pieces from the yard plants. I don't know if the Teddy Bear Cholla we planted is gonna bounce back after the winter we had. If it doesn't, we have plenty of backup.

Today was medicine day again.

Today was medicine day again.  I now know from last time that I CAN give myself the shot, but that doesn't mean I want to.  😆  Shaun did it for me.  I still get all queasy and weird when I try to do it myself.  It's just not a fun time.

I don't think I had any side effects at all after last week's dose.  I also didn't feel full for most of the week.  I didn't really have trouble controlling my eating, which was nice, but I'm kind of wondering if it's time to go to a higher dose.  Supposedly, until you're at 1 mg, you're at a loading dose and I'm at a quarter of that.  My doctor told me that I could go up, so I will consider it this week and make a decision by next Tuesday.

One thing I have noticed is that my inflammation is worse, which I've read can happen when you lose weight.  So my joints are achy and my skin is terrible, but that's ok.  I am gonna trust the process.  This should just be temporary.

It has been a Migraine Monday.

It has been a Migraine Monday. I held on at work through the power of Ibuprofen, but as soon as I got off I took my migraine meds and crashed.

Now it's almost 11 and I'm awake. 😬🫠

I did more work in the greenhouse today.

I did more work in the greenhouse today. I repotted a few plants and rearranged a bit. It looks a lot nicer and more organized. Maybe I'll get some pics next weekend.

The first 2 pictures are of some cacti I repotted. They were holding spines in the left picture before the repot. After the repot, I sat them down and they were hooked again. I swear I didn't intentionally do that. They are besties. 😊

The last two pics are of the Propeller Plant I got from the February CSSNM meeting. I never could get it to re-root, but today I took the pups off to pot them. I also took the leaves to see if I could root any of them.

It did have mealy bugs, but I am pretty sure that happened here because I had some a while back. The webbing here is dried because I used Diatomaceous Earth on them (weeks ago), as well as soaked it in water for a few hours yesterday before drying it out and potting it today.

That one pup that I took a close-up of busted through a leaf, which I'd never seen before. And even if those leaves in the pot don't root, it made a nice photo and I still have the pups. But no harm in trying.

I spent most of the day in the greenhouse.

I spent most of the day in the greenhouse. I watered a bunch of plants, pruned the dead leaves, repotted some, and cleaned a little. In the midst of all of that, I made a bigger mess. But I can finish up in there tomorrow and be ready for spring! 😊

Here are a few pics with captions:

I had a hard time getting this Aloe out of its pot. Good thing I did - they had a baby smooshed down in there!

A pretty Echeveria bloom. I love the colors.

One of these flowers finally opened up. So pretty!

I caught her with all of her flowers open today. Just gorgeous!

This was our weather yesterday.

This was our weather yesterday. It sucks when everything's dusty, and the winds straight up HOWL, but I'd choose it over a tornado any day.

Poor Shaun masked up and went out in it to close the top windows on my greenhouse to prevent damage. He's paying for that with his sinuses now. 😕

Bear was UPSET all day because he wanted to be outside, but he hated it every time he went out. 😂

Thankfully, today was much nicer.

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It's been a while since I've posted any plants, so...

It's been a while since I've posted any plants, so I'm photodumping now. Sorry - not sorry. 😂❤️

Look at her little fruits/peppers! ❤️

I might move this one to a more shady area, but look at those blooms!

I missed it fully open, but I'm so excited! I've had this one for years, but this is their first bloom!

This is their first bloom, too!

Teensy yellow flowers.

Buds starting!

Look at those long hooked spines. 😍😍😍

I've also had this one for years, and it's finally putting off something new!

I'm shocked by the number of blooms on this one.

This is a Winter grower. It's probably about to go back to sleep.

Looks like they're gonna bloom a lot, too!

Semaglutide update:

Semaglutide update:

This stuff is working in my brain.

I am not an early bird, and I struggle to get out of bed most days. Literally, if there was one thing I could change about myself it would be that I easily wake up and willingly leave my bed more often. I feel so much guilt over the fact that I sleep so much, and/or just lay in my bed.

Sunday night, Shaun and Cubba slept upstairs and I slept like shit. However, on Monday morning, I (without much internal fighting on my part), got up early enough before work that I got several errands done before work started. That's MAJOR.

I know that I can't attribute every good thing that happens to me on the medication, but I don't know what else could have caused that. If there was ever a day that I was going to shirk errands, it would've been after a night of bad sleep.

Today wasn't the same, but it was also the day of my next shot, so that's ok. I've read that many people are able to tell when their shot is wearing off, and I can relate. I didn't eat a crazy amount of food or anything, but I didn't have the full feeling that I usually have. I also drank one of my Coconut Cream seltzers, which I hadn't made in over a week. Previously, I had been drinking one daily since December, and then one day last week I just... didn't.

So anyway. Today was shot day again. I made a bigger deal out of it than I needed to and it took me 30 minutes to get it done and I still laid in the floor afterwards, but I did it by myself. Despite my bullshit, I'm still proud of myself. 😂 Hopefully, it'll get easier and easier to do.

The only other thing I can think to mention is that I definitely have to exercise now. If I don't, I feel too energetic and have a harder time sleeping. No complaints about having energy, though.

Under the table, because why not? 😂

Under the table, because why not? 😂

Update on my Semaglutide situation:

Update on my Semaglutide situation:

So I'm not doing progression pics or "starting weight" vs. "goal weight" or anything like that.  We have a scale here and I literally never get on it.  I feel like tracking the weight and/or the way I look would just cause me to hyperfocus and I don't want that.  I just want to be healthy and live, so I'm taking my meds, doing my self-care, and trusting the process.

I'm only two doses in; a lot of things I've read say that these are just the "loading" doses, but for me, the "feeling full longer" thing is 100% happening, plus something mentally.

On our anniversary when we went out we got New Mexican food, which comes with chips, salsa, and queso.  Normally, I would stuff myself on those things, and then still cram down as much of my tacos, rice, and beans as I could.  But that didn't happen.  I had a few chips with toppings, but I was ABLE TO BE MINDFUL that I needed my protein, so I was ABLE TO STOP eating until my plate came.  Then I made sure to eat my tacos and beans (protein and fiber), and then I could eat whatever rice and chips I wanted, which wasn't much.  I also didn't even finish my sopapilla with honey.  I was on the "slightly too full" side of feeling satisfied, and just stopped.

If there is ever a time I'm gonna overeat, it's when we have an "excuse" to eat out and cut loose.  But there I was, my favorite foods in front of me, the excuse right there, and my behavior was totally different.  EASILY.  It wasn't a struggle to not overeat.

That is some game-changing shit.

We got lunch today and I did the same.  I got an egg platter, ate my eggs and beans, then had SOME of my waffle.  I have a massive sweet tooth, so leaving sweets uneaten hasn't been a thing I could do in years.  In my 20s I was able to control my eating, but after my 30s (and depression), I was not.  Yet we still have more than half of our gourmet chocolates left from our anniversary.

Part of it is that I do feel full easier/for longer, but a lot of this seems to be having an impact on my mind/the way I'm thinking about food.  I've never tried any other weight loss program or drug so I have nothing to compare it to, but I really appreciate the way this is working for me so far.  It feels like I'm just being allowed to experience what people who have a healthy relationship with food feel.

Aside from that, I had ENERGY yesterday.  From about the time I got up until I sat down to do Shaun's nails around 8 pm, I was moving.  I cleaned out my closet, organized it, checked 3 different tasks off of my to-do list, caught up on laundry and did some other random cleaning.  That is MAJOR.  Before this medication I would tire out much faster and lose motivation, but I had energy and wanted to take full advantage of that.  I woke up feeling energetic today, as well, but I'm doing things at a much more chill pace.

So that's my update for now.  To be honest, as long as I continue to feel as good as I am, the extra weight is the least of my concerns.  I just want to be a functional person, and I really don't remember the last time things felt so easy to do.

Tl;dr:  I feel full longer, I'm able to make better choices regarding food, and I'm energetic.

We took this bad dog out...

We took this bad dog out to pick up our lunch and get pup cups. He "enjoyed" the ride as much as he usually does, but while we were waiting in the drive through for Shaun's coffee and their pup cups, it happened:  A couple of the employees came by with rolling trashcans, and he was ACTIVATED.

Thank goodness he was buckled in, because he would've been out of the window in a heartbeat.  He jumped out on us ONCE before, in the driveway while going very slow [for no reason we could discern], and he's never had the opportunity again. BEAST MODE in the car was ridiculous, but he did eventually calm down.

I guess that's just another reason to avoid off-leash dog parks. We haven't been back to one since Cub was attacked, and at this point with Bear being who he is, it's probably just better for everyone if we're able to keep control over them. I really think that Bear doesn't mean any harm to people since he goes for the ice dispenser and trash bins, but no one knows that in the moment when a crazy-looking creature is roaring wildly and rapidly in their direction, and he's definitely grabbed me before in the heat of the moment, so better safe than sorry.

Anyway. Now he's home doing "normal" Bear things, as you can see. 😂

Today is Shadow's 25th birthday.

Today is Shadow's 25th birthday. It's crazy to realize that he's ¼ of a century old. 😂

He's not celebrating today because he's gotta work. We'll be getting some tasty dinner together as soon as he's off. He's out here being responsible, so I'm proud of him.

I just didn't want to let the day pass without mentioning my Man-Cub. 💜💜💜

Bear is looking pretty comfy. 😂

Bear is looking pretty comfy. 😂 Shaun said he's snoring, too.

Happy 7th year of marriage to my favorite person! ❤️

Happy 7th year of marriage to my favorite person! ❤️

I took the day off work because it's worth celebrating. We've had a chill day. We got some good food and tasty gourmet chocolates, but we were having a little haboob here so it wasn't the best weather to be out in. We've mostly chilled together at home, and that's just fine by me. We finally finished watching Lost. We both hated how it ended. 😂

It's hard to believe how fast the years have flown by since we met, but it makes sense because we're happy. Shaun is the only partner I've ever had who has been willing to sacrifice for me and with me, and I hope I've made those sacrifices worth it. ❤️

We've come so far together. We've built a comfortable life for these kids and these animals. I love working from home and having Shaun here in his comfort zone, wrangling Bear and taking care of the house. I can honestly say that I never get tired of seeing him, he doesn't get on my nerves, and he's truly my best friend. I love that if one of us is ever on some bullshit, the other can call them out with love and humor and shit gets better. Communication - that shit works.

I would say that compromise does, too, but that's a last resort. If we can have separate shit and be happy, that's the go-to. I feel like our utensil drawers say so much about our relationship. I'm a chaos goblin with texture issues and he's at least passable as a regular human person. 😂 But somehow it works, and it's beautiful. ❤️❤️❤️

I love you, Husbang. ❤️

Today was pretty good.

Today was pretty good. I SLEPT last night, and I had energy today.

Work was good, and I got a few things checked off my to-do list, so that was nice. I also potted up about 30 pieces of Teddy Bear cholla. They break off our plants and Shaun picks them up and throws them in a pot and they start rooting. I finally decided I was tired of looking at them in a pile.

I had a protein shake this morning, the last few of my cookie dough bites, a piece of string cheese, and a handful of pieces of freeze-dried cheesecake. I definitely need to eat healthier, but I'm not hungry enough for whole meals. I gotta get some healthy snacks on deck. I will do that this weekend.

So far, so good. 😊

I store my Harley cat where I store my nail stamping plates. 😂

I store my Harley cat where I store my nail stamping plates. 😂

Mood. 😂

Mood. 😂

Shaun's nose got sore from his CPAP last night...

Shaun's nose got sore from his CPAP last night, so he got up around 3 to go to his game room so he could sleep without the CPAP without his snoring waking me up. Unfortunately, I am a ridiculously light sleeper and I woke up anyway and couldn't get back to sleep. I had demos at 7:30 this morning. They went well, thank goodness. But I've been exhausted and a little headache-y all day.

Other than that, I've had a little heartburn, felt slightly queasy off and on, and mostly have felt too full to eat much. I'm guessing those are side effects from the Sema. It's not too bad; mostly just different. It's the first time I've felt anything other than the extended full feeling. If this is how it works, that makes a lot of sense. I've had a protein shake, some white rice made with chicken broth, and a piece of string cheese today. I wanted some cookie dough bites, so we picked up some of those, but I could only eat a few.

I still WANT to eat a lot - probably out of habit. But I'm listening to my body and not over-doing it, so I think that's probably why I don't feel worse.

Anyway, I'm heading to bed. I have some sleep to catch up on. ❤️

I'm about to say something...

I'm about to say something and it might make some of you think less of me.  But I am who I am:  A chronic over-sharer who can't keep a secret.  So, here we go.

This morning Shadow came downstairs and caught me and Shaun doing something weird. 😆 Well, to him it seemed weird, obviously.  He threw his hand out, looked the other way, and said loudly "I just need some water!" and proceeded into the kitchen looking away from us.  I explained to him what was happening so his mind didn't get crazy on him since he was trying to get some rest after getting off work.

Look.  I'm not gonna drag this part out until the end.  I'm just gonna say it:

After the shortage was declared over, I started Semaglutide for weight loss.  I was prescribed it by a company called Lavender Sky.  It gets compounded with B-12 and sent to me from a pharmacy in TX.  It doesn't go through my insurance; I am paying out of pocket for it.  I just took dose 2 today.  So far, so good.  The only thing I've noticed so far is that I feel fuller for longer.  I'm not having any negative side effects yet.  These are just the loading doses and I have patience for days, so I'm not worried if I don't see a difference in the mirror for a while.

I have no issue with anyone being whatever size they are happy with being, but I haven't felt like myself in a long time - probably pushing 10 years.  Having a sedentary job helped me gain weight.  The stress of college + working + depression + untreated Psoriatic Arthritis was a quadruple combo that really messed me up, and that was all going strong by 2015.  The stress didn't let up, and in fact, intensified at times, before I graduated.  We got Kira, but that came with a lot of tension; the transition was one thing, but the worry of losing her was something else; we lost Shaun's mom and also his dad; of course we lost some pets during those years; and we were SUPER broke because by 2017 Shaun was the only one working when I had to go full time to school for scholarship purposes.  Then the pandemic!  I don't honestly think things let up for us until 2022 after I got the job I wanted and started making money.

There are lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there are lots of reasons they don't lose it.  For me, food was a comfort.  Especially restaurant food.  That's not something I was able to indulge in often as a single parent, but after me and Shaun got together in 2008 it became more of a regular thing.  But I was still young and active and had a good metabolism - for a while, anyway.  Once depression started hitting, I was basically eating garbage just to boost my brain.  I remember when Scooter got sick and I would eat a box of brownies a day for a while.  I remember in college when I was stressed and I'd eat like, 6 drumstick ice creams in a row while watching King of the Hill on repeat because I just couldn't function.  That was my norm on and off for years.  It eased up some after I started being treated for anxiety and depression, but unfortunately, the habits and cravings remained.  And for all I know, weight gain could also be a side effect of those medications, but I do not dare go off them.

Over the years I have tried to lose weight, but it never budged.  I've always hated counting calories, but I really enjoyed fasting.  It cleared my skin and helped my bone pain.  It gave me energy and a sense of control, for once.  But fasting doesn't work if you don't stick to it, and especially if you binge afterwards.  I am great at having self-control - for a short time.  But when it's gone, it's GONE.  (This is how I know I'd make a great addict.)  So I never actually made any progress with weight loss, but many times it has helped me manage my psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.

Anyway, I've read a lot about Semaglutide and a lot of people who are on it say that it helps to quiet "food noise."  I probably won't know if I have that until it's gone, but I suspect that I do.  I've also read that it helps some people with things like alcohol addiction or addictive behaviors in general.  Other people have even said that they have less inflammation on it.  It hasn't been tested or approved for any of those things (or even weight loss), but I want to try it and so I am.  I know that compounding pharmacies have a certain time until they aren't supposed to make it anymore, but I don't care.  I will buy it off the gray market if it helps me. 🤷

I want to start feeling like myself again.  I've been walking and strength training all year (which I know isn't super long at this point), but I haven't seen any progress on fat loss (though I can tell my arms are stronger).  I truly suspect that I messed up my hormones by being stressed to the breaking point for so many years.  I sacrificed my body to strengthen my mind and get a better job - literally.  In November of 2014, my psoriatic arthritis doctor told me to go to college and change my life.  He said things wouldn't get easier if I didn't.  He knew that financial stress was the biggest stress I had (causing flare-ups and pain), and he knew that I didn't have insurance.  He literally looked me in my face, told me that I was smart enough to do it, and I just... believed him and then tried.  I started college in January of 2015 and finished in December of 2020.  I did that and I made it through; now I have the time and money to take care of my body, and I want to.  If I can't, then what was all of that for?

I do feel better now that I am on thyroid meds, but I don't feel like that alone is going to enable me to make progress.  And really, at this point, all I want is for my efforts to make a difference.  I'm not asking this drug to be a miracle and just melt fat off my body.  I'm willing and able to put in the work, but I definitely need help with getting my eating under control.  With menopause looming around the corner, it's definitely not going to get easier and I HAVE TO get this under control or it's only going to get worse.  I feel like it's now or never.  Time is running out.

So Shadow walked in this morning on me failing, for the second time, to inject myself (in my belly fat roll) with my medicine.  My shirt was on, my fat roll was out, Shaun was standing really close to my chair so I wouldn't fall out, (trying to support me and help me get up my nerve).  I didn't think it looked that weird, though, so I don't know what Shadow thought was going on. 😂

It's such a stupidly tiny needle and I barely even feel it.  I don't know why I can't just stick myself.  I have had many piercings over the years, I like to watch my blood be taken, and I'm not scared of needles.  I mean - my favorite plants are cactus and they stab me ALL THE TIME.  But the thought of stabbing that itty bitty needle into my own flesh just gives me the jeeblies and I start to feel faint and nauseated.  Shaun has given me both shots so far, and I've laid in the floor feeling like a nauseated, faint failure afterwards both times. 😂 It's so dumb.  But I will keep trying.

Anyway, judge me all you want if that's your thing, but I'm tired of trying to do things "the hard way" and failing.  I need help to make progress, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.  I am using the willpower/motivation I have to wake up for work and to do my job and not buy nail polish or succulents and to take care of other things that are my responsibility.  There is barely enough left to do my walking, Duolingo, and strength training in a day.  As usual, I've put myself last on the list, but I am on there at least and getting help.  So this is what I'm doing right now, and now you know. ❤

He just used his arm...

He just used his arm to pull his legs up to snuggle. That might be one of the cutest things I've ever seen. 😍