I am not trying to pretend that I'm all deep and shit.

I am not trying to pretend that I'm all deep and shit.  But I can't help but think, as I sit here waiting for these ants to wake up a little so I can feed them to my lizard, about how we're all just food.  All of us.  We're just hunks of meat waiting to be eaten.  If you are not eaten before you're dead, you will be after.  Some kind of bacteria or something will get at you eventually.

I have to try hard to not think about stuff like this, especially when I eat.  If I look at my food and think "Hey, this chicken died so I can live", then I would cry.  I know this from experience.  I also don't thank any gods for my food, but I sometimes find myself thanking the dead animal.  It's only polite.

I don't like deep conversations.  I don't like to think about much like this at all.  I think that even my closest friends have no idea that I live on the verge of feeling that life is pointless and I don't want to do this anymore.  There are a lot of good things in my life that make me happy, but I often feel selfish for feeling happy when there is still so much suffering.

And no matter how much I do or how hard I try, I can never fix it all.  I barely make a minuscule dent, in the grand scheme of things.

Stuff like this really bothers me.  Some days when I've been thinking too much, I wish I could just die and return back to the bottom of the food chain.  I think that life is simpler there.

I feel like, right now, that I don't believe in life.  I'm calling bullshit here.  Who's fucked up idea was this?  I don't want to play this game anymore.

Looks like my ants are moving.  I guess it's time to feed my Koopa.  ❤

The most bizarre thing is happening outside of work right now....

The most bizarre thing is happening outside of work right now. There is a farmer's market that pops up every Thursday and blocks the street. But tonight is the parade for Oxford's homecoming. So the band, the cheerleaders, the football players, the flag girls and majorettes are all crammed in the middle of the farmer's market performing. It looks pretty crowded over there...

I thought I uploaded this before, but I guess I did not.

I thought I uploaded this before, but I guess I did not.  This was sometime when I first brought him home.  He looks less shriveled now, and is in a different house.  He is drinking his water like a good boy!  I love that you can hear him smacking!  ❤

Butterfly nails! 🙂

Butterfly nails!  🙂

I have wanted this stamping plate for a LONG time, but it's always sold out every time I try to order it.  Thank goodness that Ninja Polish had one!

I used all holographic polishes, but I just couldn't get the camera to pick up the rainbows today.  I desperately need a new camera.  My birthday is coming up soon, so maybe I will get one then. Paws crossed!

So... for about a year...

So... for about a year I've had to crate my dog Faith so she won't fight the other dogs.  I don't know if it was stress or what, but she suddenly decided that she's not friends with a couple of my other dogs.  So, I do the doggie shuffle every day.  Crate and rotate.  All that jazz.

Anyway, there is one dog that no other dog EVER messes with.  Scruffy, my little Booka.  He's the smallest, but I'm pretty sure that's not why.  I'm pretty sure it's because he's convinced he's a cat so he can't be bothered with all the doggie business.  Whatever.  I am not complaining.

So Booka used to go out with the first batch of dogs (and sometimes he still will), but then he doesn't want to come in.  He REALLY likes outside.  So I bring everyone else in, then let Faith out.  Pretty often, they will come back in together.  Sometimes he's difficult and just won't, but I've been pleasantly surprised to see him come in with her a good bit.

Lately, he won't even go out with the first batch of dogs.  He waits until she goes.  That's cool.  So this morning I went in there and Faith was in her crate and Booka was just in the crate beside her all curled up.  Looks like he slept there.  It's wide open, but he's in there and not coming out.  I guess he will when it's her turn to go out.

Doggie relationships are really adorable.  And they just surprise me.  It's nice to see new friendships form.  ❤

What a weird day.

What a weird day.  Got up and took some kitties to the vet.  So far they are doing ok, which is, of course, good news.  Since the kid wasn't home I thought I'd hang out with Shaun for a while.  I did and we were supposed to be watching movies, but I totally fell asleep.  I'm just really not a movie-watcher unless it's something I'm excited about.

Came home to let my dogs out and shower and stuff, then Shaun brought pizza and cheese sticks over.  We sat around watching Netflix, eating and doing our nails.  I took my time - removed my nail polish, shaped and filed my nails, did my cuticles, planned out my paint job kind of in advance - none of that last-minute sloppy shit this time.  I am QUITE pleased with how they turned out.  Busted out some holographic polishes since it's been all sun-shiney.  😃  Can't wait to post these - I used a couple of new polishes and one stamping plate that I am really excited about.  😃

Anyway, since I had a nap mid-day and some caffeine with dinner I haven't passed out yet.  I'm getting tired, though, so I'm gonna get in my bed now and see if sleep comes or if I just end up being awake and frustrated until daylight comes.  We'll see.  LOL  😛

Shower time, food time, and nail time...

Shower time, food time, and nail time.  All of my favorite times are about to happen!  😃