I lived, I slept, and I feel ok.

I lived, I slept, and I feel ok. I'm heading to the school to make a therapy appointment and hit the gym as stress control. Then I'm coming home to study. I'll see my doctor on Friday for more migraine meds.

This has been the most stressful semester that I can recall when it comes to coursework. I've had plenty of rough semesters before due to outside influences like dad's house burning down, animal kids dying, periods of large transitions, or the neighbor stealing my power and water... but this time nothing major is going on. It is literally just a really hard semester, in and of itself.

Dropping Abstract Algebra was the right decision. I'm a little behind from trying to keep up with it all for so long, but I'm pretty sure I'll be ok. Stress control has to be my #1 right now; otherwise, I'm going to keep getting migraines and losing days or hours that I could be doing homework or studying.

To everyone who keeps encouraging me:  I appreciate it and I need it. Thank you. I hate to be needy, but the closer I get to finishing school, the worse my anxiety gets about messing up and failing. I'll be back on later to respond to comments and messages. For now, I've gotta go take care of myself. ❤️❤️❤️

Shaun picked me up at school...

Shaun picked me up at school, got me food so I could take my medicine without barfing, then took me home because I can't drive when I'm that medicated. He and Shadow went back to school for my car while I laid on the couch like a lump. I've watched some networking videos and I'm calling it a night. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I showered this morning and planned to hit the gym after class.

I showered this morning and planned to hit the gym after class. My body has other plans. Current Status: Dry heaving in my car with a migraine while waiting for Shaun to come medicate / get me.

Also, I made a 45/100 on my Networking quiz. I felt too awful to concentrate.

I am trying my best to finish an assignment, but...

I am trying my best to finish an assignment, but this dog keeps kicking my laptop off my lap and farting at my face. It must be nice to be able to be this rude and get away with it. 😂😂😂

I'm feeling really hopeful...

I'm feeling really hopeful that my lack of motivation and being nonstop tired are just me badly dealing with being overwhelmed and not signs that I'm falling back into a depression hole.  I'm still taking my medication as prescribed.  Hopefully, I'll be able to tell after this week.  There is entirely too much on my plate for me to know how I feel right now.  😕

Despite how warm it is...

Despite how warm it is I slept under my weighted blanket last night. I folded it over so it was doubled on top of me. Even though I felt tense when I went to bed that's the best I've slept in weeks. No nightmares or anything.

After waking up nauseated and with a stress migraine brewing...

After waking up nauseated and with a stress migraine brewing (and accomplishing very little today because of that) I have decided that whether it's offered or not in the spring (I thought it was for sure but recently found out it might not be), I'm dropping Abstract Algebra.  For the sake of my physical / mental health, my other 3 classes, and my family, it has to happen.

I feel like a failure in a way, but it's honestly the best decision I can make right now.  If it's offered in the Spring I'll take it and still graduate on time.  If it's not, maybe a professor will let me do an independent study.  And if not, worst case:  I'll have all of my CS classes complete, so I find a computer science job and wait until Abstract is offered again to graduate.

That's really ok.  Now to make my brain / body believe that.  😂😂😂😭😭😭