Today was better.

Today was better.  Dropping Abstract saves me 3 trips per week to JSU, which is nice.  Two of my remaining classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, and the other is online.

Even though I didn't have a class I did go to JSU today.  I scheduled an appointment with my favorite counselor.  He's the one who saved me when I had my meltdown this time in 2017 - just after transferring to JSU.  I will be happy to see him.

After that I went to the gym and walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I set it to an incline and walked to high-tempo music.  I'm a band nerd from back in the day, so I can't help but step in time to the music. 😂 So yeah, I've gotta really make a habit of that because it helps with tension and stress, which trigger my migraines.  It's a free and healthy way to make my life a lot better.

Then I came home, saw the kids, and completed a project that had been weighing on me.  I'll be ready for my 20-minute presentation to the class tomorrow.  Now all I need to do is ensure I'm ready for my networking exam, which I had better be since I bombed the quiz so badly the other day.  I think I'll be ok.

I don't know how many times I have to learn this lesson, but self-care - ESPECIALLY exercise in times of high stress - has to be a priority.  There is no way it can just be an option for me.  But also, dropping Abstract was a thing I had to do.  I don't think any amount of exercise could have un-overwhelmed me from that plus my other 3 classes.  😛

I lived, I slept, and I feel ok.

I lived, I slept, and I feel ok. I'm heading to the school to make a therapy appointment and hit the gym as stress control. Then I'm coming home to study. I'll see my doctor on Friday for more migraine meds.

This has been the most stressful semester that I can recall when it comes to coursework. I've had plenty of rough semesters before due to outside influences like dad's house burning down, animal kids dying, periods of large transitions, or the neighbor stealing my power and water... but this time nothing major is going on. It is literally just a really hard semester, in and of itself.

Dropping Abstract Algebra was the right decision. I'm a little behind from trying to keep up with it all for so long, but I'm pretty sure I'll be ok. Stress control has to be my #1 right now; otherwise, I'm going to keep getting migraines and losing days or hours that I could be doing homework or studying.

To everyone who keeps encouraging me:  I appreciate it and I need it. Thank you. I hate to be needy, but the closer I get to finishing school, the worse my anxiety gets about messing up and failing. I'll be back on later to respond to comments and messages. For now, I've gotta go take care of myself. ❤️❤️❤️

Shaun picked me up at school...

Shaun picked me up at school, got me food so I could take my medicine without barfing, then took me home because I can't drive when I'm that medicated. He and Shadow went back to school for my car while I laid on the couch like a lump. I've watched some networking videos and I'm calling it a night. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I showered this morning and planned to hit the gym after class.

I showered this morning and planned to hit the gym after class. My body has other plans. Current Status: Dry heaving in my car with a migraine while waiting for Shaun to come medicate / get me.

Also, I made a 45/100 on my Networking quiz. I felt too awful to concentrate.

I am trying my best to finish an assignment, but...

I am trying my best to finish an assignment, but this dog keeps kicking my laptop off my lap and farting at my face. It must be nice to be able to be this rude and get away with it. 😂😂😂

I'm feeling really hopeful...

I'm feeling really hopeful that my lack of motivation and being nonstop tired are just me badly dealing with being overwhelmed and not signs that I'm falling back into a depression hole.  I'm still taking my medication as prescribed.  Hopefully, I'll be able to tell after this week.  There is entirely too much on my plate for me to know how I feel right now.  😕

Despite how warm it is...

Despite how warm it is I slept under my weighted blanket last night. I folded it over so it was doubled on top of me. Even though I felt tense when I went to bed that's the best I've slept in weeks. No nightmares or anything.