I'm really not sorry that my boyfriend is cuter than yours. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I'm really not sorry that my boyfriend is cuter than yours. 🤷🏻‍♂️

This is the only time this cat doesn't suck. 🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂😂

This is the only time this cat doesn't suck. 🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂😂

I'm talking about period stuff again so skip this if you want to.

I'm talking about period stuff again so skip this if you want to.

I found out thanks to the Put A Cup In It Community that there are more reusable menstrual discs out there so I bought some since I have better luck with discs than cups.  (Discs are flat and wedge behind the pubic bone, cups are kind of bell-shaped and sit in the vaginal canal.)  I got two of them in time for my last period and the other came in time for this cycle.  I am so stoked!  These last two cycles have been my first waste-free in so long since I was using disposable discs (or pads when I couldn't get the discs).  I am so excited!

I think my favorite disc is the nixit.  It's very soft - which could be a pro and a con.  I like the softness because it doesn't prevent me from peeing by pushing on my urethra, but if you're not used to inserting them it's almost like pushing a wet noodle.  Another neat thing is that it AUTO-DUMPED (which is pretty much what it sounds like) when I was peeing today.  That can be a scary thought, but it only happens when you flex to pee.  When I went to the bathroom I started to pee and felt the disc move a little. After I finished I used a finger, pushed it back where it was supposed to be, wiped, and done.  There was blood in the toilet and on the tissue.  I don't really have to worry about it getting too full and leaking due to this (not that I worry anyway; you're supposed to be able to go 12 hours without checking them).

The other discs that I bought were by Lumma (I got a medium and a large since they are BOGO pretty much always).  These have a tail and are made of more firm material.  I like the tail for removal because I like to keep my nails long and I don't wanna be digging around in the cave with my claws (really, the edge of the disc is right behind the pubic bone which is barely a knuckle in for me - especially if I bear down), but I feel like I notice the presence of these where I don't really with the nixit.  I haven't had an auto-dump with these although I've read that it's possible for it to happen.

Anyway, I just wanted to share these amazing things with you.  If you don't want to spend the money on one of these not knowing if they will work for you I highly recommend trying a disposable disc first (like Softdisc {available at Target, I hear} or the disc by The Flex Company {by subscription from their website}).  If you can get the hang of them these are the same concept except that using a nixit or a Lumma cuts wayyy down on period product waste and these will save you money in the long run.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful for someone out there.  ❤

Truth.

Truth by the The Herpetology Collective:

So, from an evolutionary perspective, birds are reptiles, but that's not why I am posting this photo of dozens of Cattle Egrets following tractors around.

As I drove to work yesterday and saw these precocious birds feasting on all of the grasshoppers that were being kicked up by the hay cutting activity, it occurred to me that very few people would interpret this activity as the egrets "chasing" the farmers.

Absent the elements of ignorance and fear, it is easy to discern that this behavior is a perfectly understandable and admirable adaptation to disturbed environments (and an example of why Cattle Egrets have successfully self-colonized the known world so easily).

In other words, these are just hungry critters looking for an easy meal. The fact that humans are present is totally inconsequential to the animals, who only perceive an opportunity for survival.

At the same time, it occurred to me how differently such behavior is interpreted when snakes are involved. Any time a watersnake investigates a fisherman's stringer, we end up with another story of how a blood-thirsty cottonmouth tried to eat a hapless human.

When wildlife educators try to explain these encounters from the snake's perspective, people often become defensive and even irate, insisting, "You weren't there. I know what I saw- that snake chased me!" 

The truth is that no animal is sinister (a trait exclusive to humans). If we are receptive to education, we soon find that all of the organisms we share the planet with are fascinating and deserving of our cooperation.

If only we could view all of creation through inquisitive eyes rather than fear and animosity, what a world we would live in.

For more explanation of snake behavior, visit bit.ly/snakechase 

Or, join our educational group at LIVE Snake Identification and Discussion

Yesterday I got out of my head and off Facebook for a bit.

Yesterday I got out of my head and off Facebook for a bit.  Shaun and I took Cubba and Rose to the dog park.  They were SO EXCITED.  For the first time ever Rose jumped into the car by herself after Cubba got in; she's probably 70 lbs now so it was nice for Shaun to not have to pick her up.  When it was time to leave she even jumped into the car FIRST.  Considering that we never spent much time with her I'm proud that she figured that out.

It was nice to be around dogs again.  They were never meant to be mine and I don't have much of a relationship with them.  It's sad, but my devotion was to my aging pack and I have no regrets about that.  My pack accepted and put up with and trained foster after foster.  They deserved some peace and quiet and my full attention during their golden years.  Cubba and Rose are good dogs, but I'm not ready to bond like that again.  I am finally up for spending more time with them, though.

In other news:  I don't know if you younger bleeders know this, but your PMS can change over the years.  I used to be a backache / cry kind of dude, but now I'm a "period flu" (which is exactly what it sounds like) / cramp kind of guy.  I didn't enjoy the back pain or the emotional rollercoaster from before, but I super am not into feeling like I'm getting actually sick.  I've had a headache for two days.  I napped the day before yesterday and had chills and woke up like I'd sweated out a fever.  I woke up nauseated today.  I'm not digging this, either.  So I guess what I'm saying is that PMS sucks and it can change and that will likely also suck.  In case you didn't know.  😂😂😂😭😭😭

And finally - I don't know if I feel emotionally down due to hormones or because of, you know, 2020, or if there is something else going on, but I feel kind of... lonely?  I don't know.  It is likely because I haven't seen anyone in months and that's probably just getting to me.  I know I have friends and people that care about me, but I'm feeling pretty disconnected from everyone and everything lately (aside from Shaun, the kids, and Scar, obviously).  It's probably a combination of everything.  And the fact that due to the pandemic, I am literally disconnected from the world all but online.  These are strange times to be living in.

Well, I'm off to cuddle my boyfriend.  He didn't meow me awake for nothing.  😂😂😂  Be well and love one another.  Black lives matter.  ❤

Ooh, why do I love this so much?!

Ooh, why do I love this so much?!

So... I start my summer class on Monday.

So... I start my summer class on Monday.  I'm not excited about it.  It's a proof class (Abstract Algebra) and one that I struggled with a couple of semesters ago.  Due to COVID it's going to be online which I'm glad about for safety purposes, but I am nervous that I will struggle and not have as easy access to the professor for help.  As a backup plan I've also registered for the same class in the fall (along with my final math, Differential Equations).  One way or another I am finishing school this year.

I feel like I've had a nice long break (for once) from school.  I needed that because for the first time in ages I feel rested.  I do feel guilty for "wasting" time, though.  I've spent so much time chilling and playing games and watching shows and of course hanging out with Shaun and the kids.  I know that most people wouldn't celebrate a layoff but just DAMN.  I love Shaun so much and he deserved a break and it's been so nice just having time to hang out.  I've even starting playing Xbox games with him.  Ok, yes - he had to get me a special small controller and yes - I am super picky about what I'll play, but I'm enjoying myself.  Honestly, after all of the arthritis I've had in my hands before I never thought I'd play controller games again so I'm enjoying this until I can't.

Anyway, since I got rid of my house in mid-March I had a ton of stuff to go through / donate / organize.  We went through all of our stuff but the pandemic shut everything down before we could donate all of what we wanted to donate.  So that still needs to be finished, but isn't urgent.  There are still some things that need to be cleaned / organized, too, but that is also not urgent.  On top of that I wanted to finish painting the hall and paint the bathroom, but I didn't get to that.  I did, however, check a lot of smaller projects off my list so that was nice.

One big thing that I'm disappointed I didn't finish was getting my CSA certificate.  I had planned to take that exam before I started back to school.  I did take the class which was a huge step for me.  I have a year to take the exam and I WILL do it.  I have had plenty of time if you just consider the days / weeks / months.  But mentally and emotionally I have been struggling and I know that many of you have, as well.  My ability to stay focused is not what it used to be, unfortunately.

Me, Shaun, and the kids have been taking the pandemic extremely seriously since March so we've only seen each other.  I haven't seen my friends or other family (mom, dad, brother) since probably before March since school was kicking my ass.  We started doing curbside pickup for groceries and Amazon deliveries for animal food.  The only outings we've had have been if we decided to go walking.  Needless to say, it's been a big change and we believe we are doing the smart and safe things, but it isn't always fun.

Add to that the fact that I lost my last two remaining dogs within like, 3 weeks of each other.  Both had been with me for 12+ years.  I felt (and still feel) that something is missing in my life.  We have plenty of animals but dogs are just different.  Since none of us are working at the moment and I'm about to start back to school we're not looking to take in anyone right now.  Logically I know that is the smart thing but damn if it doesn't suck.

Then, of course, the huge stress of the Black Lives Matter movement weighs heavily on me.  I have feared for the life of my child since he was a tween.  Unless you LOVE a black person so many white people don't seem to get it.  I am so disappointed in so many people.  I mean - I don't really want to get into it again right this moment but racism exists and I know that first hand.  Systemic racism exists, casual racism exists, microaggression exists, white privilege exists, and anyone who doesn't believe that is remaining willfully ignorant - which I just cannot respect.  It's gross and you can and should do better.

Anyway.  All of this was to say that I haven't accomplished all that I'd hoped to since March, but it has been an eventful and draining few months so I'm trying not to beat myself up.  I have done quite a few things - even some important things (like taking the CSA class), but I've also spent a lot of time just... resting.  Playing.  Loving my family.  Doing things that I want to do (like spending time with my plants).  Those things are important, too.  I hate that American work culture makes me feel like if I haven't worked myself dead then it's not enough, but I'm trying my best to deprogram myself of that toxic idea.

Well, I just felt like clearing my mind, so there it is.  I hope that you all are doing well.  If not:  rest, do some self-care, play, spend time with loved ones, and don't forget that Black Lives Matter.  ❤