Have a closet selfie. It's been some years since I was feeling myself enough to capture my image on "film."
In 2014 when my psoriatic arthritis flared up it was hard to walk - much less exercise. Being in constant pain (plus some other things going on) sent me into a pretty serious depression spiral. Until it was bad enough that I went on medication I coped by eating junk food, which exacerbated the pain and depression. Then college and the stress that brought kept me eating junk food even with medication.
Needless to say, over those 6 years until I graduated I packed about 20 extra pounds onto my 4 foot, 9 inch frame. That probably doesn't sound too bad for an average-sized person, but being so short it was very noticeable and my self-esteem took a hit... obviously contributing to my depression. When I say that the last several years have been a struggle it is not an exaggeration.
Anyway, this is me right now. No filter, no editing, no makeup. Bonus points for goofy "I woke up like this" bed hair. 😂 I don't have a scale at home, but as of my last doctor appointment I was down 10 lbs. The fun thing about that is that I wasn't even trying. I've been enjoying my body by roller skating and staying busy organizing and cleaning. My depression is leveled out enough that I don't crave junk food 24/7. I still have down days once in a while, but honestly it just reminds me to be grateful for all of the good ones.
I'm still thicc, but I feel my muscles and endurance growing. My clothes fit better and I'm more confident than I've been in so, so long. My psoriasis is down to some very small, tolerable patches / spots even without medication. My bones haven't hurt me in quite a while, thank goodness. All in all I feel like I'm finally on an upward spiral and I hope it continues. I've fought my battles and I'd love to spend some time reaping the rewards and seeing what I can accomplish without my body and mind working against me.
For any of my friends and family who are struggling, please hang in there. It gets better. ❤️
