So... I've met some people at school and that is better.

So... I've met some people at school and that is better. I got to talk to 2 other CS girls today - both of which are in my class.  I'm pretty pumped.  We exchanged numbers, so now if shit gets real we can have each others backs.  😃  The school also sent out an email saying that they had free tutoring for both of my CS classes, so it is a relief to know I'll have that resource as well if I need it.

I have also just about decided that I can't EVEN with that rolling backpack I have.  I think I need something smaller and something that I can actually carry on my back because it flips over when I hit bumps, and I have to stop and pick it up every time I need to go up or down stairs (which is often, an it's always when other people are trying to get to / from classes, so I'm not a fan of stopping the traffic).  I don't know.  I need to change what I'm doing, though.

I'm insanely exhausted today, and I'm glad for the long weekend.  I have a lot of catching up to do.  And also, I was contacted last night by someone who needed a person to rehab some field mice, and even though I'm not doing a lot of animal stuff right now no one else would take them, and so I have them.  I'm going to look for another rescuer / rehabber to take them, but I don't think I'll have much luck.  😕  But we shall see.

Anyway.  I hope all is well with you.  My plate is full and my cup is almost empty, but I'm going to take care of me soon.  ❤

I am tired to death this morning.

I am tired to death this morning. How is it only halfway through this week? 🙁

I was just telling Shaun last night...

I was just telling Shaun last night that I don't feel overwhelmed yet, so I don't feel like I am doing enough.

JSU fixed that today.  😨  There are some things I don't know in Probability and Stats that other people seem to already know.  I had never even heard of a Truth Table until Discrete Computational Structures today, but it is something that apparently they teach in CS 230 (the pre-req for Discrete) at JSU (but not GSCC).  So... yeah.  I feel really behind, and that sucks.  I have a ton of studying to do.  I sincerely hope that I can catch up and be ok.  I think that I will be fine, but I definitely don't feel good about things yet.  😕

I have given up on homework.

I have given up on homework. I am in bed. Maybe tomorrow will be ok.

Feeling mostly better today, but being sick...

Feeling mostly better today, but being sick for almost all of the weekend isn't very restful. I'm super tired and I have a full week ahead.  Also, I'm already behind on homework because I couldn't do anything yesterday.  I guess I will be doing some Linear Algebra shortly.  I wish I could catch a break.

I have been sick with sinus crap all week.

I have been sick with sinus crap all week. I thought it was moving out and I'd be ok this weekend, but now I'm dealing with a migraine and nausea. I don't know what is going on, but I have homework and zero time for this. 🙁 Also, I'm miserable. 😰

School was better today.

School was better today.  We actually started learning things, so I feel a lot less anxious.  Also, I feel like the exercise of walking is doing me some good.  Even though I'm still huffing and puffing like an old fart after walking up the hill I have more energy (eventually).  So that's ok.

In programming we started going over the basics of C++.  I'm excited to install Dev-C++ on my computer and play with that.  It looks fun.  I like that when you compile it it tells you if you have errors and from what I saw it tells you what they are.  You don't compile in Python; you just run those programs and they either work or they don't.  It will give you error messages if something is wrong, but nothing as specific as what I saw in C++ today.  So I feel like this is probably better.  🙂

In Linear Algebra we did two example problems and now have homework, so that's better, too.  The things we went over today were not hard.  Kind of weird and leaves open a million places to go wrong with basic arithmetic, but there was nothing that I did not understand.  So far, that actually looks pretty fun because I am a fan of algebra anyway, so hopefully it doesn't turn crazy or awful.

Oh, and I got an email back from my Stats teacher.  She said that I was definitely overthinking the problem and that she hadn't taught us how to find p-values yet; she really just wanted to find out how skeptical we were or not to get an idea about us.  So I'm feeling a lot better about that class, too.  I was really afraid that I was already behind, but I am not.  😃

Anyway.  I ran some errands after class and now I'm home.  I'm about to make some lunch and get started studying.  Woohoo!  😃

Shaun bought us Taco Bell for dinner.

Shaun bought us Taco Bell for dinner. In an attempt to clear my sinuses, I put 6 packs of Fire sauce on 3 tacos. I have regrets. 😨

So I wasn't sure what to expect of a Probabilities and Stats class...

So I wasn't sure what to expect of a Probabilities and Stats class and I definitely didn't get why you'd need to take Calculus first. But now I do.

So... today the teacher did some demonstrations with dice and playing cards.  That was interesting.  I think that was mostly just an introduction to what the class was about because we didn't get into any math, really.

For homework I am supposed to figure out my p-value which I think determines how skeptical or trusting I am, but I'm not sure how to go about doing that, although (I think) I understand what it is.  If we toss a coin 3 times and it lands on heads every time - at what point do I suspect the coin is rigged?  So I'm over here thinking that I'd flip it more because 3 times isn't enough to know.  Heads 15/20 would make me suspicious because the "expectation" is for it to be close to 50/50.  Needless to say, I've emailed that instructor because I need to know what my options are and how to state my p-value.  😆

I am having some nerves because today and yesterday were both "first days" for me because I have different classes on MWF than I do on TT.  I think it's just anxiety because I don't know if I can do things yet because we haven't really done anything yet for me to decide if I'm in over my head.  Tomorrow (and the rest of the days) should be better (or worse).

Regardless, I can already tell that I've got my work cut out for me.  School is definitely my job now.  My life feels weird.  I'm not used to this weird day schedule and not going to work where Shaun is at least part of the time.  There is ONE person from Gadsden in ONE of my classes, so that is nice, but the rest is pretty lonely-ish.  Everyone else is younger and / or male-r than me.  This might not even make any sense, but I felt like I was with more serious students at GSCC.  Maybe if that is actually true it will work out in my favor, but for now I am just trying to adjust.

Anyway.  One more day to go this week.

Discrete Computational Structures and Probability and Statistics today.

So... JSU wasn't as big and scary as I thought it would be.

So... JSU wasn't as big and scary as I thought it would be.  LOL  I guess I did enough preparation ahead of time (with taking a few trips up there for DSS and my student ID and to walk from the parking lot to my building) that I felt like I had a clue, which is always a nice feeling.  I also got there early, so I wasn't fighting for a parking spot or rushing around in a panic.  Everything actually went pretty smoothly.

Ok, so I'm not the best backpack-dragger.  LOL  There were a couple of times it tried to flip over on me and I got most of the way up the hill before I realized that one of the straps was caught between the bottom of the backpack and the ground and was being severed from the friction.  I might need to find a way to fix that if I ever plan to carry it on my back, but it's heavy so I probably won't do that.  Seems like a weird design flaw that that could even happen, but whatever.

I made it to the programming class and someone had put a trashcan right in the middle of the door frame, barely propping the door open and making it difficult to enter the room.  I went ahead and opened the door all the way and propped it open with the trashcan that way, so at least people could get in.  Turns out that we need a security code to get in the computer lab.  That is fancy.  I'd much rather put in a code that have to push a trashcan to get in the room.  LOL

After that class was over I was headed down the hall to Linear Algebra when I found Dr. Trifas' office.  I hadn't planned to stop by, but she seemed eager to talk and was really nice.  I think her class will be very interesting.  I will find out tomorrow!  🙂  Then in Linear Algebra we went over the syllabus and took notes.  Gotta love it when your professors don't waste time!  Dr. Kim goes pretty fast, so I will have to stay on my toes to keep up with her.

All in all, it was pretty good.  Even though it was my first day there I could spot the freshmen.  LOL  Most of them looked like I thought I would feel, the poor things.  I think the worst part for me was giving my accommodation letters to the teachers - it was so awkward.  🙁  I made sure to tell them that I don't need anything right now - it's just a precaution for if I have a flare up.  Also, the 3 professors that I met today have accents.  That will take some getting used to, but I like it a lot.  🙂

I've got some things to print and I need to go over the notes I took.  Otherwise, I feel pretty prepared.  Since I am not working it feels weird to have "down time" like this, but I am not complaining.  I'm still trying to get over being sick.  I'm very congested, and I've got a headache today - probably both from congestion and the stress of excitement.  I feel like a nap is in order.  It was all I could do to not cough and clear my throat and blow my nose through class today, so I need to get over this crud RIGHT NOW.

I hope you all are having a good week.  🙂❤

First day at university!

First day at university! One class down, one to go. So far, so good! 😃

JSU tomorrow! 😁😁😁

JSU tomorrow!  😁😁😁

I have been sick for some days.  Yesterday was the worst - I ran a fever all day.  I slept a lot today and that helped a little.  I don't feel feverish, so that's something.  I'm still congested, but hopefully this crud is on its way out.

I'm catching up on laundry and housework now.  Hoping to remove my (gasp!) chipped polish and throw on a coat of something pretty for tomorrow.  I'd rather go around naked than with chipped polish, so I'll at least remove what I'm wearing now if nothing else.

My summer classes are still up in GSCC's Blackboard (so I'm guessing they don't have Fall up yet).  JSU has 3/4 of my Fall classes up.  I really wish colleges would get those up faster.  We could be reading over the syllabus and getting acquainted with how things are set up if we were given the time.  Oh well.

Wish me luck!  I am a little nervous, but excited.  😃

Just tried some Honey Butter Cornbread Crisps...

Sipping Alka-Seltzer...

Sipping Alka-Seltzer, hoping I'm over this crud before Wednesday. 😔

I walked my walk...

Returned my Calculus book earlier this week.

Returned my Calculus book earlier this week.  Got my student ID at JSU today.  While I was there, I drove around in and out of the parking lots until I felt I understood what was up.  LOL  I'm gonna go this weekend and park, then see how long it takes me to walk to my building.  These are things I need to know.

Probably gonna clean out my binders tonight and get them ready for next week.  Just over here waiting for the day my GSCC Blackboard account is empty.  I'm gonna have so many feels when I have to change the link in my browser over to JSU's Blackboard system.  It will definitely represent the end of my time there.

I hope all of you are doing well.  I am parked on the couch with wayyy more pizza that I need, and I'm not moving until I feel like it.  😜

I had no idea that AOD...

The Good News:

The Good News:  I FINALLY (thanks to the C.A.R.E.S. Clinic, NOT Quality of Life) got an appointment at UAB.

The Bad News:  It is in January.

The Worst News:  The appointment is for 6 days after my 6 months of eligibility for charity care has expired.

So.  This is great.  /sarcasm

It's been two weeks since my last nail post.

It's been two weeks since my last nail post.  I still haven't updated Instagram.  I even wore a new polish before this one and did nothing at all to it.  Who am I?  😱

I don't know if it was the stress of finals or what, but I feel like I've lost my nail art mojo recently.  😢  I'm just not in the head-space to be creative, and I'm almost content to just shape my nails and throw on something pretty.  It's not as though I've had a super lot of down-time, though.

Finals were Wednesday, I had errands and housework to catch up on on Thursday, then we went away on Friday.  Which yes  - that was nice, but it was travel and I came home exhausted despite doing nothing.  The rest of Saturday and basically all of Sunday was spent visiting family, and then yesterday I started freelancing pretty hard to get up some cash before classes start at JSU next week.  So I guess I shouldn't beat myself up that nail art isn't my priority at the moment, but it's something I always look forward to doing when I think I will have some free time, so not doing it for whatever reason just feels like a bummer.  😕

ANYWAY.  I'm wearing a polish that I've wanted for a while now.  I finally got my hands on it!  It is Chromosphere by Supernatural Lacquer, and it's SO PRETTY.  It's holographic but has this cool pink chrome shift to it that you can see peeking through on the nail and at the top of the bottle. That is more prominent in real life and in other lighting, but it is lit up in this photo so that the holo shines.  Also, the flakies in it are giving me life!

All I had time to do / felt like doing / could bear to do to this polish was stamp a couple of nails, so this is it.  It's what I'm wearing for probably the rest of the week unless I suddenly come across some energy or inspiration (or preferably both).

Happy Tuesday, friends!  ❤️

This is Shaun making fun of how I type. 🤣🤣🤣

This is Shaun making fun of how I type.  🤣🤣🤣

"Fast Typing Cockatoo"

Most of you will probably not understand...

Most of you will probably not understand (unless you are a hardcore fan of something, and then you might).  Some really special polishes from my favorite indie maker, Tonic Polish, were releasing today.  They contained a pigment which was discontinued years ago that people who are into nail polish refer to as "Unicorn Pee" because it is so beautiful and rare. I had reminders set in my phone so I wouldn't miss the release (because I knew they would sell out), but I slept right through them.  😳

I woke up to Shaun texting me, (he'd also just texted Shadow to wake me up), and he was waiting at the website for me in case I didn't get up for some reason.  Thankfully, they got me woken up.  He sent me his card number and made sure I got "The Whole Summer Shebang!," which is a collection of all of the new-release polishes.

I wish I didn't have to wait 2 years (until I finish school) to marry that one.  He is legit my best friend and every day I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

I know this is mushy and I'm super sorry if you get tired of hearing it, but my life has been so much better since he's been in it.  I've always been tough and thought of myself as a survivor, but now I feel like I am thriving rather than just surviving.  I feel like I might finally get close to reaching my potential one of these days, and Shaun is the one who gives me the confidence and support that I need to do it.  I really wish I had better words to express how grateful I am.

I know this post started with nail polish and ended with me thinking about my life's potential, but seriously - Shaun has my back in all the ways and he never ceases to make me feel special or appreciated.  I wish everyone could experience that, for real.  ❤

I just got back from a nice day-cation with Shaun.

I just got back from a nice day-cation with Shaun.  We went to the Wynfrey hotel and stayed a night.  Mostly all we did was eat A LOT of tasty food and lounge around like two lumps on a log.  It was great.  It was perfect, actually.  I so desperately needed a break from anything that required me to have responsibility, and it was really nice to have some uninterrupted time with him.  I feel like I haven't seen him much in two years.  Yes, he's around and he helps me tremendously, but dang.  When I'm so busy that I can miss someone who is right in front of my face, that is a problem.  Hopefully the next couple of years at JSU won't be so hard, but even if they are we'll make it through.  We're both working hard and doing our parts to secure our future together.  ❤

All those check marks.

All those check marks.  So satisfying!  🤩🤩🤩

I just got back from JSU.

I just got back from JSU.  I have accommodation letters now.  It feels weird to have them, but since I can't predict the severity of my flare-ups or if / when my hands will decide to crap out on me I think it's best to have back-up plans in place.  Especially since I have no idea when I'll ever get to see a rheumatologist.  😠

I was approved several weeks ago for charity care through UAB.  That would have been post-worthy, I guess, except that I need a referral and the stupid doctor at Quality of Life who had me jump through those hoops to get the charity care stuff set up is not doing it despite several phone calls.  So, I am waiting for a call back from the C.A.R.E.S. clinic, and if that doesn't work I'm going to call my last rheumatologist and see if he will do the referral for me.  I did not go through the trouble of gathering documentation of every financial detail of my life at a most inopportune time only to be shit on now.  It's just NOT happening.  I am not going to let it.

Anyway.  I'm home.  I'm gonna do some housework and run some errands.  Even though I'm out of school and I have no jobs at the moment I am not totally chill.  I wonder why.  😕 /sarcasm

Ok. Mr. Osborn is fast.

Ok.  Mr. Osborn is fast.  I made an 82 on the final, and ANOTHER FREAKING 100 on the re-take of the last test I bombed.  He changes the problems every time, so it's not like I just have to memorize answers or anything.  WOW.  My Calculus III average is a 96!!!

Today was my last day at Gadsden State.

Today was my last day at Gadsden State.  This is a bittersweet feeling.

I started classes there in January of 2015 and went non-stop.  I was never able to go full-time due to work constraints, but I think I made pretty good time.  I remember meeting with my Student Support Services adviser not long after I started classes and saying "I think I want to do Computer Science.  I want a money job and I like tech.  I guess I'll just start and see where it goes."  Little did I know that the farther in I got the more I would want to be there and the more driven I would become.

On one hand it does seem like it flew by (probably because I stayed so busy), but on the other I have felt every minute of this experience, for better or worse.  I have grown so much in ways that I didn't know I could.  But I also sacrificed a lot to make that happen.  I fought tooth and nail to get here - against schedule conflicts, against my body, against my mind, against exhaustion, against all of 2016, against a state government that wants to see me fail, and against just plain and simply missing my loved ones.  There is no more straightforward way to say this:  Sacrifices were made.

Now I've got just under 2 weeks to be ready for JSU.  I'm at least half-way done with my college journey to a Bachelor's Degree, and I'm more motivated than ever to finish.  I did get the transfer scholarship I wanted, I still have the Pell Grant backing me, and I'm going to go full-time.  Work will be freelance and take a back seat to my education.  It is not set in stone, but I've got my eye on graduating in May of 2019.

Anyway, I really appreciate all of the support from my friends and family.  And to my teachers who are on here I am grateful that you were a part of my journey.  Gadsden State will always hold a special place in my heart, and so will you.  I wouldn't have made it this far without you.  ❤

Now, I'm off to eat, do my nails, and anxiously await the posting of final grades!  That never gets old.  😜

If my child...

 

My last final is coming up shortly.

 

I am going to have a heart attack from excitement!

I am going to have a heart attack from excitement!

Last night I re-took a Calculus test that has been thwarting me ALL SEMESTER.  I made a 38 the first time, a 67 the second time, and a 100!!! last night!  😲😲😲😁😁😁

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE A 100 ON A CALCULUS TEST?!  It is SO hard!  I didn't do it last semester because Cal II was extremely difficult, (plus I was battling my way through Physics at the time), but I also made a 100 on a test in Cal I.  A 100 on a Cal test 2/3 semesters - I feel like magic!

So my average in there is now a 93.  I have the final exam to go, plus an optional re-take of another test I bombed (which I am definitely going to re-take) because I want to come out of there with an A.

I also got the grade on my literature final this morning.  I made a 200/200.04.  My final average in there is a 99.

I am so happy and excited right now.  I was really hoping to come out of my last semester at GSCC strong so that I'd have a little confidence boost before JSU.  I'd say the grades that were posted this morning did just that.  WOOO!  😁😁😁

I had no idea it was almost 3 in the morning.

I had no idea it was almost 3 in the morning. I've been studying. Last final exam is on Wednesday. I'll be ready!

Last First Day of School. Class of 2018.

Last First Day of School. Class of 2018.

I'm having all the feels. ❤

My boy starts his senior year of high school in the morning.

I'm having nerves about tests this week.

I'm having nerves about tests this week.  I get one out of the way tomorrow.  I feel more prepared for it than I have all semester, but GOSH.  The days are getting away from me.  😳

I feel so bad for my Calculus teacher.

I feel so bad for my Calculus teacher. He said he would help us via Blackboard / email over the weekend.  I've already responded to one and sent three more.  😂😂😂  But I am not taking a B in Calculus without a fight.  I am determined to learn this stuff and ace my next 3 exams!

I am so grateful for teachers who go above and beyond.  I hope the ones at JSU are even a fraction as helpful as everyone at GSCC has been.  If they are I will be just fine.  🙂

I didn't study anything today.

I didn't study anything today.  I did, however, take Booka to the vet for a giant mess of ear wax that I couldn't remove (it was only in one ear - so weird!), take a Literature final, cash a paycheck, buy school supplies for Shadow (at Wal-Mart with the day-walkers!), and clean the house a little.  As much as I feel the pressure to study I feel even more that my brain needed a day off.

I just spent an hour filing some serious length off my nails.  I probably need a new file since it took so long, but I'll deal with that later.  LOL  I'm about to take off my polish, show my cuticles some love, and re-paint my nails.  I don't know that I have the time or energy or brain-space for nail art, but a coat of something pretty will make me feel nice.

So... I'm watching the Netflix with MY SENIOR and doing nails.  I hope you all are having a nice, chill evening, as well.  I'll be working my tail off for the next week, so I'm enjoying my down-time while I can!  🙂

Made a 190/200 on the last Calculus test I took.

Made a 190/200 on the last Calculus test I took.  That's a 95!  Woohoo!

Now if I can do that on the next 3...

Lit Final - DONE.

Still haven't even messed with Instagram. One day. LOL

Still haven't even messed with Instagram.  One day.  LOL

I got hung up on a 4 in Calculus.  I have asked some classmates as well as the teacher where that came from, but I still don't understand, so I took a break to post my nails.  LOL  I feel really dumb because it is probably ridiculously simple, but I'm tired and my brain is tired and I didn't know what else to do.

So... I did these a few days ago when my brain was too tired for studying.  This is a new polish from Lollipop Posse Lacquer, and the name of the polish is "The Future is Coming On."  If that sounds familiar to anyone it's because it is a song lyric, which is what their latest collection was about.  This was actually one of my favorite polishes of the collection, not to mention that the lyric is from one of my favorite bands.  Obviously, I had to have this polish.

I'm just wearing one coat of polish, so you can see my nail line under the stamping if you look closely, as well as the difference between my nail bed and tip on the ring finger.  I really wanted to go with something sheer and sparkly and delicate, paired with a strong shape and pattern and color.  I guess I was in the mood for many levels of contrast.  LOL

One of my favorite things about this polish (which you can see just fine IRL, but it shows better in the bottle in this photo) is the red to gold to green iridescent glitters.  If you look at the left and right of the bottle near the top they are pretty visible (in green and red).  I love getting the flashes of color when they change.

Anyway.  I am off to eat some dinner and then maybe (hopefully) wrap my brain around where this 4 came from.  Later, friends.  ❤

Today is weird.

Today is weird.  It was my last day of tutoring for Gadsden State, and it looks like it was officially my last day at SCM (after 9+ years of being there).  I wish I could say that I felt great relief to have shed some responsibility, but I don't yet.  I have 6 exams between now and August 9th, so I still feel pretty overwhelmed.  Thankfully, I will have more time to devote to studying, so maybe I will finish this semester and this chapter of my life with my sanity intact.  We shall see.

I am glad to be home.  I'm battling a stress migraine.  I'm currently parked on the couch with Shadow, trying to digest lunch, and giving this Excedrin a chance to work.  Then I've gotta hit the books.

I feel like this day deserves more fanfare than I can give it, but that is the story of my life for the last few years.  On the bright side:  I'm about to begin the second half of my journey to getting a Computer Science degree, so that is something.  Maybe I can celebrate after finals.