I'm spending my last night at home for a while.

I'm spending my last night at home for a while. It's so hard to leave; I've been a little bummed all day. But this will be my last stint in Cincy and then I'll be home for good. When I leave next, it will be bittersweet. I love my coworkers and I know that I will miss them. Ah, feelings.

Oh no!

Oh no! We've lost Harley again. Coincidentally, the couch is lumpy and trilling now.

If you didn't know...

If you didn't know, Bastian is Shaun's baby. He lets Shaun get away with the most ridiculous shit. Like this:

I'm in a proper cat pile and I'm thrilled.

I'm in a proper cat pile and I'm thrilled. I've missed these kids. ❤️

My favorite - a cuddle pile.

 My favorite - a cuddle pile. 

Cubba, Balthazar, Boyfriend, and Toebean.

Apparently, I made some of y'all worry with my travel plans.

Apparently, I made some of y'all worry with my travel plans.  I'm really sorry if that was the case.

I left Cincy on Wednesday - the day before the cold / snowy / windy weather hit.  At some point early in the trip I turned on location tracking and sent it to Shaun so he always knew where I was.  I hate talking on the phone when I'm driving and I don't text and drive, so that saved us both some frustration.  😂  I drove for about 12 hours and made it to Wichita, KS.  The weather was still fine, but it was dark and I was tired so I was done for the night.  Plus, I was in a city and the odds of finding somewhere to stay were high.  The plan was to NOT be stranded in the car since we knew the weather was coming overnight and the next morning, so Shaun booked me a room and sent me the address and I went there.

Shaun is the planner in the family; it's not me.  So he kept an eye on the weather reports and I chilled down in the hotel room because I needed the sleep and was getting a headache.  I woke up a few times in the night; the wind was strong and the snow was coming down.  In the morning when I woke up (Thursday) I went to talk to the front desk and they said that the roads had been treated, but the winds were bad.  Another traveler recommended staying another day, so I did.  I wasn't thrilled about staying, but it was the smart decision.

While there I got my frozen waters and surprisingly unfrozen Soylents out of the car.  I cranked the car to make sure it was ok and cleaned the snow off of the windows.  I was shocked to find out that even negative degree cold just feels cold.  Apparently that's part of the danger of it.  It took me a while to get the windows cleaned; I had a scraper, but that's it.  And I kept having to take breaks and sit inside the car because my fingers started tingling (even with my gloves on).

At some point on Thursday Shaun told me to call 511 and get the road reports.  That line was giving me too much information to process, but it said that was an app called "CanDrive."  I'm going to admit that it took me longer than I'd like for me to realize it was "KanDrive", but anyway I got it and it was helpful.  On Friday, the roads had been treated and there was a photo of them looking clear and the wind was no longer an issue, so I checked out of the hotel and got on my way.

The roads were totally fine - just snow and some abandoned / wrecked cars on the shoulders.  By another few hours out of Wichita it didn't even look like it had snowed.  The worst part of the trip was refilling the gas; the temperature (according to my car) stayed between 8 and 15°F  for most of my trip.  I don't think it hit the 20s until I got into TX.  Once I got closer to home it was back in the 40s (which probably wasn't even the high for the day since it was evening).

Anyway, I definitely wanted to come home to be with my family.  I did NOT want to fly after flying on Thanksgiving, and driving allowed me to move home the stuff I could live without in Cincy for a few weeks.  It made sense.  I'd already cancelled my flights before I knew about this weather, but Google kept giving me notifications about delayed flights.  That sounds worse than what driving (even with the weather) turned out to be.

For anyone who worried over me - I do apologize, but Shaun and I make a great team (even when we're not physically together) and we try to make good decisions. The way we had things planned, the worst case for me would have been more time in a hotel.  I let him know when I was starting to get tired of driving and he booked me a hotel room in the nearest city and sent me the coordinates.  I know that things don't always go as planned, but we are not big risk takers at all.  I will admit that traveling so much is new to me, but in general I'm pretty good at driving in straight lines, so it's all good.  😊

I'm home through the holidays!

I'm home through the holidays! Got one more training stint in Cincy after this and then I can come home for good.

Three hours from home...

Three hours from home, finally back in New Mexico. I had to pull over and get a picture and have a little cry. I don't know what it is about this place, but it soothes me. I feel so at peace the minute I cross state lines.

Can you see the Mesa in the distance? I fucking love it here. ❤️

Preheating the car...

Preheating the car and sharing my scarf so hopefully my travel companions will survive the trip home.

I'm warm and safe...

I'm warm and safe, but also bored and alone. I was really hoping I'd make it home today and I guess I'm bummed out that I didn't. Definitely better safe than sorry, for sure, but I've been away for so long already. It feels like a day wasted. All I've been doing is watching stupid TV and playing on my phone.

Maybe I'll get to leave tomorrow.

Staying another night at the hotel.

Staying another night at the hotel. The roads sound like they were tended to, but this wind is another story. Thankfully, it'll be stopped by much later today.

Current situation:  Thawing out my emergency waters (yes, I left them in the car - I was tired and safe at the hotel) and letting these succulents get a little bit of sun. They're from the office and a coworker gave them to me. Figured I'd take them home and get them settled in. I hope they survive the trip!

After getting COVID...

After getting COVID (most likely) from flying home and back at Thanksgiving (Atlanta - you nasty), I decided to drive instead of fly this trip. I figured it was smarter because I could at least bring back a good bit of stuff and make the next and final trip home easier (packing-wise).

I made great time yesterday and got more than halfway home...

But I woke up to a mess and an emergency alert here in Wichita, KS saying to delay travel. And I think I will. It's coming down out there, no doubt. 😬 And it's expected to be -2°F by noon. GROSS.

Edit:  It was down to - 5°F by 10:30 this morning. Wow.

The two kinds of holiday people summed up:

😂😂😂 The two kinds of holiday people summed up:

Yesterday, at 40 years old...

Yesterday, at 40 years old, I took my first birth control pill.

I don't know if it's the pills or the fact that my hormones are already a mess at the moment, but I have had a headache and nausea for last two days. It feels like a hormonal headache because none of my painkillers are touching it.

It's a terrible time for this nonsense because I should be packing and deciding what is going home with me this week and what goes the next time I come back. But all I've done is lay around because I feel so rough.

I have to talk about my job right now...

I have to talk about my job right now and this is likely to be a long post.  But if you are in any way considering moving into the tech space career-wise, then you really might want to read this.

This "conversation" is coming up because of a monthly team call that we had yesterday.  As you might infer, these do happen every month and are usually about an hour long.  They happen via Zoom and EVERYONE in the company is invited.  In these meetings, they go over how the company is doing, what it's goals are, promotions, work anniversaries, "GOAT" awards, shoutouts, etc.  And every time I attend one I leave it feeling SO. FUCKING. GRATEFUL.  Like with legit tears in my eyes.

Last night the call ended up being about 2 hours long.  It happened mid-month because most people are taking off for the holidays - not only because it's our slow time of the year, but because we deserve to be with our families (more on that in a moment).  The owner of the company is ALWAYS on the call and ALWAYS interacts.  He shows that he cares about us and is grateful for our hard work; we are NOT just numbers.  Last night, the number one goal he had for next year was "That you still love working at GlideFast."  Of course it is a business and there were number goals to hit, as well, but the culture comes first.  I'm still in my feelings about it, to be honest.

The meeting went long because they did some background for us.  Showed us where the company was 5 years ago and where it's headed now.  There were TONS of shoutouts and lots of appreciation shown to some people who really earned it.  They even shouted out the GCU managers (who are honestly amazing) and the whole class because we were promoted to Technical Consultants this year.  It makes me feel so welcome and seen and appreciated.  We also learned that our GlideFest adventure next year is in Las Vegas and I am EXCITED about that, holy shit.

I know that people say it's a red flag when companies say they're a family, but we're a family.  I don't care if I sound like I'm drinking the Kool-Aid - it's Kool-Aid I chose and I'm THIRSTY.  I love my company, I love everyone I've met, I love that I'm surrounded by curious, nerdy, hardworking, helpful people.  We don't want to meet expectations - we want to EXCEED them.  And I love that.  I live for that.

When GlideFast says they care about you and want you to be happy, it is sincere.  Besides great pay, 401k and health benefits, we also have Unlimited Paid Time Off.  I've felt guilty for asking for time off, but I have done it.  Listen to what I've been given:  A paid week off at Thanksgiving.  A paid week off when I had COVID.  And I'm getting 2 paid weeks off starting next week - because I asked for it.  That is 4 weeks (a whole MONTH!) of paid time off and I've been with the company since August; a whopping 4 months.

So yeah, I'm in Cincinnati for training for up to 2 more months - away from my family, friends, and pets, but I am well taken care of.  This is 100% worth it and I would choose it and chase it over and over and over again.  When I say my life changed when I got the call that I was hired, I was NOT kidding.  Not even a little.  When I said that this was the holy grail of jobs and I almost threw up when I heard I was hired, that was not a joke.  I'm like, in tears right now.  And every time we have those monthly team meetings I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

Technical Stuff for the Curious:

We work on a platform called ServiceNow.  If you are interested in learning about it there are tons of articles you can read, but you can also dig in and see if it interests you.  I would recommend following this link (https://nowlearning.servicenow.com/lxp?id=search&q=citizen%20developer) and trying out some of the free Citizen Developer courses.  If they interest you, keep going and see how you feel about a bit more advanced content.  I'm happy to answer questions to help steer you on where to go next, or put you in contact with our recruiters.  One of the other things you'd need is to be willing / able to learn a bit about computer programming.  We use JavaScript and there are tons of free tutorials on the web, but I highly recommend following through Chuck Tomasi's series because he shows how it's used on the ServiceNow platform. Link because I love you: https://youtu.be/nK1aPdGyGak

We have a new cohort starting in April, so... do with that what you will.

#LFG

Got to do the light tour this evening...

Got to do the light tour this evening. It was gorgeous out, but gusty.

If you watch the video, be warned that it's loud.

This is probably only interesting to like, myself, but...

This is probably only interesting to like, myself, but here is a "resume" generated by ServiceNow (the platform we use at work) that contains the badges and achievements and certifications I've earned. It reminds me of Xbox achievements and I like it. 😂😂😂

https://nowlearning.servicenow.com/lxp?id=nl_public&user=bluxenethos

I'm going to work!

It's a great day...

It's a great day to be working from home. /sarcasm A water main broke and no one in the apartment complex has water.

Just swabbed my brain again and I'm FINALLY testing negative. I'm going back to the office tomorrow! 😁

I'm not feeling 100% today.

I'm not feeling 100% today. Good thing I'm still working from the apartment.

Waking up early yesterday might have worked too well because I crashed out by 8 pm last night. I'm not usually so easily tired... except for when I have PMS. That tracks since I've been cramping for 2 days and I'm super bloated. My mood is also crappy today. I'm usually pretty chill, but today I'm grumpy and I just want to go home to my family.

I'm still testing positive for COVID so I can't go back to the office yet. The office Holiday Party is tonight and I really wanted to go, but I can't. It's at a museum and they are having some delicious food catered and I miss everyone. I'm bummed. And I just wanted to get that off my chest, I guess.

I hope you all are having a good day. This isn't my best day, but it's far from one of the worst so I'll take it. ❤️

Words I never thought I would say:

Words I never thought I would say:

I miss my routine.

When I had the 'Rona of course I slept a lot and tried to let my body heal. I didn't stick to any routine; I just did whatever made me the most comfortable in the moment.

I felt mostly better last week, but wasn't allowed back in the office (and I'm not mad at that - I think this whole pandemic could have been avoided if more people had taken the "better safe than sorry" approach), but working from here in the apartment was really different for me. Being able to sleep later and still make it to my laptop on time, or skipping showers because I was basically here alone, and eating whatever / whenever I wanted to...

Those things might sound like perks, but I didn't feel so great last week. On top of sleeping like absolute crap all week (which could be a hormonal thing or a post-'Rona thing or a "my schedule is out of whack" thing or a combo of it all...) I felt a bit disoriented. And I wasn't taking as great care of my body as I'd gotten used to doing.

So it's a new week that starts with me still working from home. But I'm awake and showered and am about to do my morning skincare routine and have breakfast. The only thing I am not going to do is put on uncomfortable office clothing. I see no reason to make extra laundry if no one is looking at me.

I feel like this is a personal growth thing for me. I used to detest schedules and being told what to do with my time. I used to revel in staying up late, and hate the morning rush of scrambling to get ready for work on time. Since I've been here in Cincy, though, I easily fell into waking up at 6, taking care of myself, working, and crashing out by 10 pm so I could do it all again. And getting out of whack after being sick made me appreciate that. So yeah, I'm saying it:  I missed my routine.

I have only been outside of my apartment once...

I have only been outside of my apartment once since November 28th - and that was to take out my trash.

Today, I am going to curbside pick up my prescriptions... and if the weather is nice I'm going to either take a walk outside or skate. Here's hoping that a bit of exercise will help my sleep issues.

Feels like a big day after almost 2 weeks shut in.

I have been sleeping like crap lately.

I have been sleeping like crap lately. I really dislike having to take Melatonin, but I have been because I need to sleep. But it gives me weird dreams. Today I woke up mad at Barbie dolls. 🤨😂

I'm gonna ramble.

I'm gonna ramble.

Today started off a little rough.  I woke up with a pretty bad tension headache.  I had a lot of weird dreams and must have slept crazy.  I took some meds to head of a migraine and got started on my work later in the day than I wanted to.  But I did my time and made a lot of good progress towards Challenge #2.  I am pretty excited that I am able to be productive from home.

I showered today and put in larger earrings.  I'm at a 5mm now, which I think is about a 4 gauge.  When I visited home for Thanksgiving I brought most of my body jewelry back to Cincinnati with me.  I have a few things I can wear in this size, but a LOT more options once I reach a 2 gauge.  I'm excited about that.

I'm being SO NICE to my ears.  I'm only inserting larger earrings after a hot shower and there is no pain at all.  I remember when I stretched my lobes back in the day it always pinched and hurt a bit.  I feel like I'm just not into that part of it anymore.  I want everything to be comfy.  It's probably also easier because they were stretched before, but I am not complaining.

After catching the 'Rona (I assume from the airport), I have decided that I'm not flying home around another holiday.  My plan is to pack my car full of as much of my stuff as I can live without for a few weeks and drive home and unload it.  That way, when I leave Cincinnati for good I'll have more room for this desk that I acquired and that I love to come with me.  And hopefully a friend will ride with me again - definitely gotta make sure I have room for her!

I'm missing a lot of my work buddies.  I can't go back to the office until I test negative for COVID.  I'm not mad at the caution regarding it, but I feel like I'm missing a lot.  A couple of the guys got their certifications, and one has already been put on a project.  That is all super exciting stuff.  I messaged them on Slack to congratulate them, but it's not the same as a high-five and a "Let's fucking go!"

Anyway, so this is crazy.  I have the ParaGard IUD, which I think hurts me sometimes and I'll probably get removed at some point.  But my hormones are getting jankey, so the doctor I saw prescribed birth control pills.  On top of all of that I am nowhere near my husbang so it seems crazy to be this birth-controlled, but I know there are reasons for it.  The doctor said that I am not old enough to be going into perimenopause yet, but my suddenly irregular periods and night-sweats say otherwise.  I've been a whole damn mess for a few months now and I really hope the pills help.

Well, I can't think of much else to say.  I'm about to chill down for the night and hopefully I'll sleep restfully instead of stressfully tonight.  We'll see. I hope you all are doing well.  ❤️

I didn't go to work last week...

I didn't go to work last week and part of this week because of being sick.

My manager gives us code challenges to try. I finished the first one after getting tons of feedback throughout the day the week before I got sick. Coding is not my strong point, but I am trying my best and he is very helpful!

I missed Challenge #2 because I didn't feel well.

I worked from home today and I just finished Challenge #3 (which he gave us yesterday). I did it all by myself, y'all. I am so damn excited! 😁😁😁

This photo will mean nothing to most of you, but I wrote this script. And it works. And I comment it like I do because it helps me learn and keep my train of thought on track.

It's not due until Tuesday, so maybe I have time to go back and try Challenge 2. 😁

This is the boost I needed tonight after being away. 😁

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

According to the internet my COVID symptoms are pretty mild so far and I would agree that I've definitely felt worse before. I mean, in the past I've worked while in worse condition than this. But I am grateful that I'm able to rest and recover and that I'm not having a terrible go.

I haven't seen another person's face IRL since Tuesday. I take my isolation very seriously. The fact that I could walk out of here and infect someone and they could literally die from this virus is terrifying.

I wear my mask outside of my bedroom. I sanitize my hands before leaving my room and then wash them with soap and hot water immediately after I leave. Then I do whatever I need to in the kitchen or bathroom, then go straight back to my room.

Needless to say, I'm not having the most fun. But I think I'll be ok. I'm just ready for it to be over.

On the bright side, Kelsey made this delicious soup. It's the best thing that's happened in days. 😂😂😂

Something to think about.

Something to think about.

by Caitlin Lowery

I used to be a missionary. I would go on short term mission trips to Eastern Europe or Africa for the sole purpose of “earning souls for Christ”. We kept count of the number of people we “saved”. We put on a play or volunteered for a little while to show our love for Jesus. Then after praying with them and adding their soul to the tally marks, we would never see them again. 

I thought I was doing God’s work. But if I’m being honest, I was doing work that made me feel good. I would volunteer in an orphanage or help clean out a house, both tasks requiring that the people who lived there had to teach me what to do. This actually took their time away from their family or their work. Yet I believed I was serving them. 

Ask me what their names were. I must have worked with and met hundreds of people. Do I remember who they were? Did I even attempt to keep in contact with them or show them that I still care after they’d been added to the notches in my cross? No. Not even once.  

I prayed over their houses of worship, that they would repent and see that their faith was dead. Yet I never once sat down and asked to learn what they believed. Why did I assume that my faith was the right faith? Why did I assume that my presence was so precious that it would change their hearts and lives? Why did I assume that they were lost, living their beautiful content lives right where they were? Why did I assume their lives needed changing? 

This is white supremacy. This is colonization. White people entering a foreign land under the guise of caring to turn people into followers of the white peoples god and life. Do not pretend colonization doesn’t happen anymore. It just lives under a new name: mission trip. 

Do not victimize the missionary that was killed for not following the laws of the tribe he claimed to love. Do not demonize the tribe that simply tried to protect their children from disease and violence. If he cared he would have already known their beliefs and laws and would not have disrespected them. But he didn’t care. They were just going to be another notch on his cross. 

If you’ve gone on mission trips before, and this feels like an attack, sit with that feeling for awhile. Is it good to help people? Yes. Is it good to insert yourself into someone else’s life without asking based on your own assumption that you are the most important person in the room? No. It’s time for us to reflect on that notion and change our ways. 

Colonization needs to end.

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️