Shaun just asked me how class was going...

Shaun just asked me how class was going. Well... this is notes for ONE problem.

My boy. And you can see his face this time.

My boy. And you can see his face this time. ❤️❤️❤️

Took me a minute to understand the rhythm of this song, but that's the fault of The Weeknd. 😂 

Everything I've heard him sing a capella - I've liked more than the original. But I might be biased. 😉

Would anyone local like some bubble wrap?

Would anyone local like some bubble wrap?  It's mostly in smaller pieces (so you could wrap jewelry, or, um, nail polish in it).  I was saving it for when I had my Etsy store open, but I have wayyy more than I need and I hate to throw it out.  This is one of the rare times you will hear me say this ever, but it is free to a good home.  😛

I'm trying to regulate today, but I'm failing.

I'm trying to regulate today, but I'm failing.  This past week my diet has been HORRIBLE.  I just ate a Zebra Cake for breakfast so you can see how well I'm doing at getting on track.  I've got a headache and a million things to do.  I'm trying not to let it paralyze me, though.  Is it just me or does anyone else feel worse the day or two after you're coming down from major stress?

When we left last night Shaun's dad seemed ok, considering.  I think he was probably exhausted.  Shaun has a giant family so the house was packed most of the day.  There was tons of food.  His dad definitely will not starve.  He did give us a scare at the funeral - he kept taking these little pills for his heart.  The max he was allowed was 3 and he was supposed to go to the hospital if he took that many.  Well, he took that many, but of course he didn't want to leave so some nurses in the family made him sit down and calm down and cool off.  Thankfully, that worked.

It was really nice to see some of the family from out of state, but I wish it had been under better circumstances.  All in all, though, I'm ready to get back to normal.  If I can get through the next couple of weeks I'll have spring break so I can REALLY rest up for trying to finish out this semester.

And with that, I'm off.  I have plenty to do between this messy house and all the homework and studying I have to do.  Be well, everyone.  ❤

Flowers from her grave.

Flowers from her grave. Yellow was her favorite color. 💛💛💛

I'm sitting here on the couch wishing that I was a tortoise...

I don't know if it's just utter exhaustion speaking or what, but I'm having one of those days where I feel like I can't do anything right.  I'm full of doubts today.

I woke up this morning having no idea what day or time it was - and therefore, no idea what I was supposed to be doing.  I'm so sad that I have straight up failed two Calculus tests.  My average in the class is a 91 as of right now, but that doesn't give me a lot of wiggle room for when we get to the final if I want to keep my A.  I'm gonna have to step it up a notch in there.

I'm also really sad that I couldn't figure out how to complete my programming assignment that was due at midnight.  I turned in what I had, but I felt like a failure.

Physics is just hard, but I feel that compared to the rest of the class I am holding my own.  I think most of us struggle and fail the tests so I take solace in the fact that it's not just me.

As bad as I feel like I'm doing it makes me wonder if I'm cut out for this kind of stuff.  If I think logically about it - then yeah, I'm probably going to be ok.  I'm trying hard not to base my performance in programming (even though I have an A in there, too) on the fact that it takes me time to figure things out or that sometimes I'm stumped.  HTML used to look scary, but just from years of dabbling and playing in it I know I can do some things if I really try - and a lot of it I just know out of my head.  So I'm trying to look at this class like an overview or exposure to it and not as though it's supposed to make me an expert.  I'm guessing that is why CS majors get better pay once they get some experience under their belts.

Anyway.  I'm sitting here on the couch wishing that I was a tortoise and that someone would just throw a blanket over me and turn out the light.  😂  I don't want to walk to my bed, or turn off the light, or clean my litter boxes, or load my dishwasher, or do anything but sleep.  I haven't yet decided if I'm going to be good or not, but we'll see.

I hope you all have a good night.  ❤

I came to the library...

I came to the library to work on a Python assignment between classes, but Python isn't installed here and I need an admin password to do it.  I don't see the library person, so... here I am.  I guess I will do my internet socializing now and my assignment when I get home.

I have grade updates.  I made an 84 on the re-take of the Calculus test I failed.  It's not great, but I can live with that.  Despite feeling great about the new test I made a 58 somehow.  I don't feel so great about that.  🙁  I also failed my Physics test.  I made a 45.  If I perfectly do the one problem he lets us fix I can make a 58, which is almost not failing.  Unfortunately, almost doesn't count.  🙁

This semester is legit beating me down, but I'm hanging in there.  Taking the extra day off of work has allowed me to regulate my stress levels and stay on top of things a little better (believe it or not with the grades I'm making).  All I can really say is that my classes are hard and I'm trying.

There is other news and I feel that it is Shaun's to tell, but I have a big mouth.  His mom passed away yesterday morning.  She had been battling cancer for a long time and honestly (I don't mean to sound callous), I am relieved for her sake because she looked utterly miserable the last few times I saw her.  I hate seeing anyone suffer.  Shaun is holding up ok, but his dad is not.  The rest of this week is going to be tough, but we'll get through it together.

Anyway.  For better or worse, that is what's going on in our lives.  Be well, friends.  ❤