Me and my favorite coat that everyone else hates.

Me and my favorite coat that everyone else hates. It's torn up and full of memories and I tape it shut and pull it on like a hoodie.

Better shot of my nails.

Better shot of my nails. Still dry cuticles, and dirty creases because I'd been playing in my plants. (Sorry.)

Even though white polish doesn't look great on me I enjoyed these while they lasted, which was about 2 weeks and that's impressive to me since I'm rough on my hands and wash them about 391204 times every day.

I used a plain white gel as a base, then topped it with aurora powder, or one of two types of holographic powders. I was mostly just playing around and testing the powders out since I bought them ages ago and hadn't had time to use them. Also, I was procrastinating doing my enormous math final exam and this was a fun distraction.

The final touches were the holographic snowflakes. Those were decals. I'd also had 3 gemstones on my nails; a clear crystal at the corner of the snowflake on my index finger and two iridescent ones on my middle finger. They were pretty, but I hadn't really planned to share this mani and waited until I'd abused it a bit before changing my mind and photographing it. So you'll have to use your imagination on the stones. 😂

There was definitely a lot going on here, but I liked it while it lasted. I don't usually get this extravagant anymore, but like I said I was experimenting and it turned out ok.

Rooting this tiny piece of plant in water.

Rooting this tiny piece of plant in water. I took this photo over a week ago, and little plant is currently doing well.

Shaun seems to think that baby / small succulents in teensy vials of water is a marketable idea. I admit that they are cute, but this is obviously not a long-term setup. 

I had just done my nails when this was taken. They didn't fare as well because I've been playing in my plants a lot lately. But doing them is half the fun, so that's ok. (Sorry about my dry cuticles. Blegh.)

Just made a 27 on my Networking exam.

Just made a 27 on my Networking exam. Brought my average from 59 to 52. Currently treating myself to a Boba, then a haircut. My thoughts on that for the day: I failed, but I survived.

A sentence I never thought I would say:

I went to bed at 11 pm...

I went to bed at 11 pm on Thursday and slept / laid in bed until 5 pm on Friday. When I finally got up I still wasn't feeling too good, so me and Shaun ordered pizza and watched funny shows. It was nice.

I went back to sleep at 1 this morning and woke up around 11. We went to visit Shaun's dad and I didn't have a bad day. We went out for dinner and Shaun ordered a cup of chili as a side (at a restaurant where we were dining in) and this is what he got. 😂😂😂 It's so bizarre!

Anyway, today I wasn't dead inside or crying, so that was nice. It's been a pretty chill day, but I feel myself crashing out now. I'm gonna sit up for a little bit and then call it a night. I'm trying to do self - care by listening to my body.

I hope you all are doing well. If not, know that you are not alone. ❤️

I've been having nightmares about losing my dogs...

I've been having nightmares about losing my dogs who already passed away. Lowrider, Scooter, Emma, and Nappy. It's not a big comfort to wake up and remember that they have died, except for the fact that I was with them all until the end rather than them being lost out in the world with who knows what happening to them.

I've been crying a lot lately. I don't think Lexapro is working for me anymore. The emotional blunting of antidepressants has been a lifesaver over the last few years, and that seems to be fading away. I've felt either dead inside or weepy lately, and that's not productive or fun.

Today was a relief; I got my biggest final exam out of the way. I'm no longer sure I'll pass that class, so I legitimately might fail 3/4 of my classes. I've never had a semester like this before in my life. Considering that I've only made 3 Cs in the almost 5 years I've been in college, this is a big change. I'm not a fan. I don't really know what to do besides to keep trying, though.

Dinorah came over this afternoon and I got tears when I heard her voice. I have tears now. I wish school didn't kill us both and that we had more time to act like people. She brought me a Gooey Butter Bar and took me for food. Then we watched videos of our wife and it was so good. I desperately needed that.

I'm sorry if I end up unresponsive for the next while. I don't know what is happening.