One more thing before I begin: It is not meant to be mean-spirited. I love the main character and I know that she's going through a lot, but fuck if this shit isn't entertaining. So without further ado...
Backstory: I was raised a little redneck trailer-park kid. I don't want to act like I was ostracized for not embracing that life, but 100% I was a gray sheep. Thankfully, the only part of that upbringing that stuck was my southern accent; I can't hear it, but everyone else can. In Alabama I was often asked where I was from - so I know I don't straight-up sound like cornbread, but people who are not from the south can definitely tell I'm from there.
Anyway, as kids my brother and I had a babysitter named Sabrina. Ooh, she is a whole story and I hope I get to tell you all about her one of these days, but for now just know that our moms were the best of friends for a large portion of our childhoods and that she was only 5 years older than me. She was so much more mature than we were, though. She was also a little bad. I liked her a lot.
I remember random things about her time babysitting us. Like that time she was sure that "suppost" was a word and didn't believe me when I told her it was "supposed to." I remember her letting us smoke our parents' cigarette butts because we wanted to try it. I remember the name of her first serious boyfriend - Joshua Shane Brown. I remember her reading the "POW!" and "BAM!" and such words for my brother when he watched Batman on TV. I remember her always doing weird stuff with the toilet paper and I found out recently that she was making a pipe to smoke weed with from the cardboard roll. I remember her combing her hair until she built up static and then holding the comb near a small stream of water and it bending. I remember one time she let me ride her horse and then put food it in it's dish and it started running towards the electric fence and I thought it wouldn't stop and I'd be electrocuted so I jumped off it and got her ass beaten. So. many. memories.
Eventually we got old enough that we didn't need a babysitter and our moms stopped being friends and time went on. Social media wasn't a thing 20 years ago so we lost touch because it was easy to do. But a few years ago I came across her on Facebook and we reconnected. And it felt nice - not like a friend relationship, but family. She had moved 2 hours away from our hometown and asked me to come visit - I finally had a car that would take me so I did. And let me tell you - we spent the WHOLE NIGHT talking and catching up. It was insane. Neither of us had planned for it to turn into a sleepover, but we talked until 5 in the morning and I was exhausted so I told my husbang that I needed some sleep before driving home. It was great, plus some other stuff that I'll write about later. I have a couple of other visits that I hope to write about eventually. But for now let me try to focus.
Frontstory: My visit previous to the one I am writing about now was in Phoenix, AZ. Sabrina and I had both moved to a more western location so it wasn't an Alabama to Arizona drive. It was actually only 6 - 7 hours away from me and quite scenic. A note: At some point after her move she told me on the phone that she was terminally ill. So at that visit when she asked me "If I'm still alive on my birthday will you come back for a birthday party?" "Hell yeah!" was my response. And this is how that went down.
Sabrina had already met and hung out with Kira and Shaun. She met Shadow when he was a baby... random chance encounters at the grocery store with my mom and stuff like that. Since she was having an actual birthday party with cake and swimming and all that she really wanted the whole family to come and celebrate with her. Unfortunately, Leon still needed injections every 24 hours and regardless of that we needed someone to watch the animals so Shaun stayed behind to care for everyone. The kids and I headed out about 1:30 Friday afternoon.
The drive was, of course, beautiful. Kira sat up front most of the way and we chatted and talked. Shadow chilled in the back and listened to music. They both took pictures of the scenery along the way. It was pretty pleasant. And then we got to Sabrina's.
The drive was, of course, beautiful. Kira sat up front most of the way and we chatted and talked. Shadow chilled in the back and listened to music. They both took pictures of the scenery along the way. It was pretty pleasant. And then we got to Sabrina's.
It was close to 10 pm and I was so tired. I knew what I was getting into from previous visits and I tried to brace the kids for it without making them dread the trip. I was, let's just say... ineffective.
A little backstory here: I don't drink or smoke. Neither do the kids. Shaun rarely drinks and if he does it's to chill his nerves - not to get drunk. I grew up with an alcoholic dad and parents who smoked cigarettes all the time in our presence and probably pot when we weren't around. My mom tried to keep me shielded from alcohol and pot and anything else; I ended up trying to keep Shadow away from it all because I know that addiction runs in our family. Kira was exposed to a lot of things before we got her, but that never meant she was comfortable with it. Alcohol, of course, is legal and now marijuana is, too. I'm ok with that fact (for real I am - even though I'm not a fan of rooms full of smoke or being the only sober person at a place), but cigarettes? Ew. The secondhand smoke still makes me feel awful.
A little backstory here: I don't drink or smoke. Neither do the kids. Shaun rarely drinks and if he does it's to chill his nerves - not to get drunk. I grew up with an alcoholic dad and parents who smoked cigarettes all the time in our presence and probably pot when we weren't around. My mom tried to keep me shielded from alcohol and pot and anything else; I ended up trying to keep Shadow away from it all because I know that addiction runs in our family. Kira was exposed to a lot of things before we got her, but that never meant she was comfortable with it. Alcohol, of course, is legal and now marijuana is, too. I'm ok with that fact (for real I am - even though I'm not a fan of rooms full of smoke or being the only sober person at a place), but cigarettes? Ew. The secondhand smoke still makes me feel awful.
Since I won't get far in this story if I have to tell you every time a drug is consumed - let me try my best to describe it now. I need to convey to you that the smoking was continuous - if not from Sabrina, then from her roommate, Beth. It was going on CONSTANTLY. I don't know how else to be clear that Sabrina chain-smoked cigarettes all day, as well as smoked several joints - and both of those things on top of chasing vodka with Gatorade all through the day. There was LITERALLY almost never a time she was without a drug in her hand. And like, I'm not mad at that - her body, her choice. The alcohol wasn't a big deal at all - at this point she drinks to be normal. But she wasn't supposed to be smoking in the house (she told me at my previous visit that her landlord didn't want her to) and it would've been super cool for us if she could have avoided it, as well. But that is not what happened.
We arrived at Sabrina's house and you could smell the smoke outside before the door even opened. Kira was like "OMG. I can smell it already!" I don't think I realized that before (or either it wasn't that bad at that point), but it was certainly true now. But we were there, tired, and had a party to attend the next day so we went ahead in.
Sabrina mentioned that she wanted her nails done, but we arrived too late... Beth mentioned that she was going to make tacos, but we'd gotten there so late... I apologized for coming late, but we tried our best. However, the kids are almost always up for food and made it known so Kira volunteered to help Beth in the kitchen. Off she and Beth went to get to know each other and make tacos. Shadow and I stayed in Sabrina's lair (her bedroom with all the things she needs where she spends most of her time) and Sabrina asked Shadow some "getting to know you" type of questions. Not off to a bad start! Everything was chill, we hung out and had tacos, and got ready for bed shortly after a long day in the car.
Sabrina mentioned that she wanted her nails done, but we arrived too late... Beth mentioned that she was going to make tacos, but we'd gotten there so late... I apologized for coming late, but we tried our best. However, the kids are almost always up for food and made it known so Kira volunteered to help Beth in the kitchen. Off she and Beth went to get to know each other and make tacos. Shadow and I stayed in Sabrina's lair (her bedroom with all the things she needs where she spends most of her time) and Sabrina asked Shadow some "getting to know you" type of questions. Not off to a bad start! Everything was chill, we hung out and had tacos, and got ready for bed shortly after a long day in the car.
Sabrina and Beth had pulled out the sofa in the living room for the kids to sleep on. Beth told me I could sleep in her room and she'd bunk with Sabrina. Sounded like a plan to me! And we all went to bed and had a peaceful night's sleep.
Ha.
First of all, I was barely asleep when Beth entered her room with a flashlight looking for something she'd forgotten. No biggie - it happens. Finally, I was able to drift off to sleep again, but what felt like only a few hours later I was re-awoken... by the sound of someone shoveling gravel?! "Wtf?!," I thought. Then I heard a voice outside asking what was going on. Beth replied that she was shoveling the gravel before it got hot. It went on a few more minutes and then I heard another voice speak to her and Beth explained it yet again. TWO NEIGHBORS COMPLAINED TO HER FACE about gravel-shoveling at this hour and BETH DID NOT STOP! I didn't check my phone, but did peel back the black-out curtain and IT WAS BARELY DAYLIGHT. AND BETH WAS OUTSIDE SHOVELING GRAVEL IN THE FRONT YARD.
Ha.
First of all, I was barely asleep when Beth entered her room with a flashlight looking for something she'd forgotten. No biggie - it happens. Finally, I was able to drift off to sleep again, but what felt like only a few hours later I was re-awoken... by the sound of someone shoveling gravel?! "Wtf?!," I thought. Then I heard a voice outside asking what was going on. Beth replied that she was shoveling the gravel before it got hot. It went on a few more minutes and then I heard another voice speak to her and Beth explained it yet again. TWO NEIGHBORS COMPLAINED TO HER FACE about gravel-shoveling at this hour and BETH DID NOT STOP! I didn't check my phone, but did peel back the black-out curtain and IT WAS BARELY DAYLIGHT. AND BETH WAS OUTSIDE SHOVELING GRAVEL IN THE FRONT YARD.
Ooo-kay then. Beth finally finished and I managed somehow to go back to sleep. Not long after that Sabrina started vomiting. (She's terminally sick and this happens. Often.) But does she really have to wretch and practically scream with every heave? I don't know. She might. It might really hurt to vomit in her condition. But the fact that she is loud no matter what makes me think it's just the way she lives her life.
After that pleasant wake up I drifted off again - only to be awakened by Beth loudly stomping through the kitchen and making breakfast. By this point I'd received a text from Kira stating that they would need a hotel tonight. I asked why and got the whole spiel - the gravel-raking, the vomiting, people stomping through the living room where they were trying to sleep to get to the kitchen. Understood, kiddos. Let's just try to get through the party.
This party, btw, was set to start at 10:30. IN THE MORNING. I don't think I've ever in my life heard of a birthday party that started so early, but ok. I got up at 8-something and Beth was running around prepping food and cooking. Then she left to run some errands. I sat with the kids and tried to get my bearings and eat my oatmeal. Then we needed to fold up the couch and get the living room ready for people.
After that pleasant wake up I drifted off again - only to be awakened by Beth loudly stomping through the kitchen and making breakfast. By this point I'd received a text from Kira stating that they would need a hotel tonight. I asked why and got the whole spiel - the gravel-raking, the vomiting, people stomping through the living room where they were trying to sleep to get to the kitchen. Understood, kiddos. Let's just try to get through the party.
This party, btw, was set to start at 10:30. IN THE MORNING. I don't think I've ever in my life heard of a birthday party that started so early, but ok. I got up at 8-something and Beth was running around prepping food and cooking. Then she left to run some errands. I sat with the kids and tried to get my bearings and eat my oatmeal. Then we needed to fold up the couch and get the living room ready for people.
Sabrina asked me to do her nails before her guests arrived (soak off 3-month-old gel and put on new when your guests are due in 15 minutes? Not happening, but we can try, I guess.) I wrapped her fingers with foil in cotton balls and acetone. The doorbell rang. She opened the door, then screamed "Oh shit, let me get my dogs!" while running them to the door to go out back. Then she said "I'm sorry, Blu, I can't do this shit right now!" and tore off the foil-covered cotton balls and threw them in the trash. She went back to greet her guest and a picture in a frame to the left of the door chose that moment to crash to the floor, breaking glass shards all into the dog bed underneath. I cleaned that up while she spoke to her guest. Then another arrived (without incident).
Pretty soon everyone that was coming was there and we were instructed to make ourselves a plate of food and eat it. After that was done Sabrina called us to behold her beautiful cake, lit some sparklers and stood them in a shot glass behind it (she didn't want candles stuck in it), and proceeded to sing an impromptu "Happy Birthday to me ... rednecks are great ... thank you for being here ... something something else ... " song before cutting and handing out cake.
Pretty soon everyone that was coming was there and we were instructed to make ourselves a plate of food and eat it. After that was done Sabrina called us to behold her beautiful cake, lit some sparklers and stood them in a shot glass behind it (she didn't want candles stuck in it), and proceeded to sing an impromptu "Happy Birthday to me ... rednecks are great ... thank you for being here ... something something else ... " song before cutting and handing out cake.
Let me point out real quick that I grew up in chaos with people around all the time. My mom had a bad temper and didn't like to be embarrassed or refused so I was completely used to having my comfort ignored and I guess I can revert back to "survive this without making a scene" mode sometimes. I ate hamburgers even though I don't eat beef. I ate the food even though Kira told me no one had been washing their hands while preparing it. I ate the cake even though Sabrina licked the knife she was cutting it with. These things would have been uncomfortable for me regardless, but there is still a pandemic going on too, you know? But I did the things. I did them, ok?
Kira snacked on our gas-station snacks from the trip. Shadow ate the food. Then they both hit the pool and I joined a bit later - just sitting on the edge of the pool and dangling my feet in at first. Beth was all in and Sabrina wanted to be, but was talking to her guests. We squirted each other with water guns and just chilled. This, for us, was the best and most calming part of the visit.
I REALLY want to write more, but I feel like this is gonna be at least a two-parter. I'm sorry, y'all. Just typing all of this out has been exhausting. Stay tuned.
I REALLY want to write more, but I feel like this is gonna be at least a two-parter. I'm sorry, y'all. Just typing all of this out has been exhausting. Stay tuned.
