Right now I'm feeling the need to share some memories I have of a friend gone too soon.

Right now I'm feeling the need to share some memories I have of a friend gone too soon. I can't claim that we were ever close friends, but I think it's safe to say that we liked each other. If I'm not mistaken (and it's entirely possible that I am since this was over 30 years ago), I met her in preschool. 

She was different. I LIKE different. It was impossible not to notice her with her beautiful bright red hair. We played together as kids. I remember going to her house once. That was the first and only time I remember seeing the CareBears cartoon. I know she came to my house at least once. I distinctly remember us standing outside and her showing me that she could flip her ear cartilage. Neat.

Once we got to high school we shared the same homeroom every year in addition to having band together - on top of any other classes we may have had. I remember one year she had these slide sandals and she wore them all the time. The thing is she had long toes and kept them scrunched up. I always wondered if she naturally held her toes that way or if she just really didn't want to stop wearing those shoes. Beauty is pain and all that, especially in high school. 

I remember her goofiness. This one time in class (don't dare judge high school Holli for this - we were all this goofy once), she turned to me and said "I'm trisexual." After I replied "Do you mean bisexual?" she said "No, I'm trisexual because I'll try anything once." I'm pretty sure that was a well - executed joke, but no judgment from me regardless. I remember at the time not being sure if she was serious so I think I said "Oh, cool" or something in response. Gotta love that high school awkwardness. 

I remember her laugh. Her voice. Her manner of speaking. I remember how creamy and beautiful her skin was. I remember being a little jealous of her naturally beautiful bright red hair. I remember that she was friendly and open - minded. A little weird. Sometimes bold. This one time she came to school with her hair done in something like bantu knots. I think people were jerks about it, but I liked it and moreso the fact that she dared to be different in the first place. 

We walked together at high school graduation. We were paired that way and I'm not sure why. Alphabetically I would have been next to who I sat by in homeroom. In any case it was me and Holli, and I had bright green hair at the time so we were a noticeable pair. Though we lost touch after high school we reconnected when social media became a thing. When I was diagnosed with depression and put on medication she was one of the few who reached out to me via DM to offer support. When I had an assignment in college and needed to interview kids she asked her boys questions and recorded their answers for me.

I saw her just last year at Annicon with her boys. She was using a walker due to MS. That was the first time I'd seen her in person in years. It was a bit shocking to see her like that compared to the high school memories I have of her. But she was happy to be out enjoying the day with her kids even if it didn't look easy for her. I don't know what she was like as a mother, but I imagine very kind and understanding because she was always that way.

I'm going to end this here because I want to honor the memories I have of Holli. I have no bad ones, which is not always easy to say of high school peers. I'm grateful to have known you, Holli. Rest easy, my friend.

I've been feeling really good lately. Tired, but good.

I've been feeling really good lately. Tired, but good. We've got the kids mostly moved thanks to Dinorah and GrandMeta for the help. We've been purging as we go so I've made several trips to Secondhand Tails over the last two weeks. It will probably take me several more trips to be finished, but I'm glad to know that my old stuff will either be sold, used, or recycled to help the animals in this county.

School is going fine. I have a quiz in Differential Equations on Thursday. I think I'll be ready. I'm really excited about that class because I love Calculus and it uses a lot of Calculus. I still need to keep brushing up on my differentiating and integrating skills since it's been about 3 years since I've done it, but that's ok. Hopefully it all comes back and sticks.

I've really been enjoying having my cats with me. They are so cuddly and sweet. I love napping on the couch and waking up in a pile of animals. Shaun took a picture of me after a nap the other day and I thought about posting it but didn't. If anyone wants to see maybe I'll put it in the comments.

I love Shaun so much. I love that we do things together. We've been couch shopping lately because we're handing ours down to the kids and we are old and want recliners. 😂 Not just any recliners, though. The seat has to be wide enough to hold us both so we can recline together. We found one we really like and I hope we get it soon. Especially after all of this moving stuff. We're both hobbling around holding our backs. 😂😂😂 It's about to be time to recline!

We saw a groundhog today in Anniston. It was the first one Shaun's seen around here, but I saw one in Oxford a while back. They are so cute and kind of fat looking. I love seeing animals around.

Does anyone want to buy a pool table for cheap? It's *slightly* warped but fun to play on. It's wood and the top is red and the balls land in leather-ish ball-pouch things. You would have to have your own way to move it, but Shaun would help load it. It's stupid heavy. It's currently just taking up space.

I hope you all are doing well. I'm really ok right now and I'm honestly enjoying the hell out of it. 💕💗💓

I am getting so frustrated.

I am getting so frustrated. I'm trying to find shelves (not bookcases!) that are 45" in height.  I wouldn't mind a little taller or shorter (maybe + or - 3 inches), but every search I put in seems to dismiss the "H" and shows me 36" or 72" tall shelves.  It is super annoying.  I even used the quotation marks on Google.  Anyone know of any shelves in my height range or any better ways to search?

Balthazar and Booka napping. Of course Boo is snoring, but Balthie is putting up with it.

Balthazar and Booka napping. Of course Boo is snoring, but Balthie is putting up with it. 😂😍

Current photo of my neighbor's house.

Current photo of my neighbor's house. How many shopping carts can you find?

Gotta love how they stacked so much junk outside that they knocked down the privacy fence Shaun and I built between my house and theirs.

I drove by my house...

I drove by my house (where the kids live) and ran two arguing crackheads out of the yard. I was like "You need to get out of my yard, please." The guy puffed up and said "That's some bitch ass shit!" and the girl he'd been arguing with was like "Come on." and they left. Hopefully that's the end of it. But if not it's fine because WE GOT THE KEYS TO THE KIDS' APARTMENT TODAY!

If you'd told me 14 years ago when I bought my house that I'd one day be ready to dump it I wouldn't have believed you. I was so proud of myself for buying a house at 23 as a single parent. I felt RIDICULOUSLY accomplished. I couldn't afford anything expensive, but me and Shadow were happy and felt safe for many years. Unfortunately, things changed.

Norfolk Southern dug up the railroad tracks behind my house in preparation for what was "soon" supposed to be the Chief Ladiga Trail. That trail never did come to fruition, but worse than that removing the tracks caved in the drainage ditch behind me and no one gave a single fuck about us when my house flooded a foot deep because of it. Not Anniston, not Calhoun County, and certainly not Norfolk Southern. Since I wasn't in a flood zone, neither did Alfa insurance. 

After that my giant pecan trees started dropping huge, massive limbs on the house. I had insurance, but it was still scary and a hassle. I finally got my trees trimmed with my tax refund one year. Unfortunately, by that point I had already amassed a list of home repairs and improvements that needed to be done (including the flood damage), with exactly zero extra dollars to accomplish them. I did the best I could with every tax refund but once the neighborhood started declining I knew it was a lost cause. At that point I just did what I had to in order to keep the place livable and safe.

In 2017 my neighbor who'd moved away moved back in and has lived there without power and water ever since. Well, I suppose I should say she didn't have her own utilities turned on, but why would she need to do that when she could just steal mine? Yes, I ended up having to LITERALLY lock my outdoor faucet and my brother had to come disassemble some makeshift wiring from the back of my garage that went directly into one of her windows. Shaun ended up cutting power to my garage to ensure it wouldn't happen again. I don't know that it hasn't since my bill is so high recently, but it's about to not be my problem anymore.

No more hearing the thief neighbor yell and fight at all hours of the night. No more seeing her mess of stolen shopping carts and other random shit she's been accumulating. No more hearing the horns honking when people drive by like we don't know they're signaling to buy drugs. No more wondering who's squatting in the 3 "empty" houses across the street and if they mean us any harm. No more having to run crackheads off my property. No more finding used needles in the yard. No more being worried about being robbed or that the kids aren't safe. We. Are. Done.

I hate that I'm feeling so "good riddance" towards a place I once loved so dearly, but I can't help it. Too much has changed. I'm sad to leave all of my buried pets behind. I'm sad to never see my dog room again where so many fostered animals learned what love and a home felt like. I'm sad that we're leaving the place that Shadow was so excited to move into when he was young. I'm sad to leave the place where he spent all but 5 years of his childhood. I'm sad that something I was once so proud of turned out this way. This is a really bittersweet experience. But growing hurts so onward and upward!

Cats are so weird.

Cats are so weird. Scar, (the black and white cat), just got bathed intensely by Tobi (orange kitty) and Adrian (colorful kitty). I guess that gives them license to lay on his face while he sleeps?