Out of the Blū

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

We're having a hard freeze.

We're having a hard freeze. I woke up an hour ago (because of course I did) and saw that the temperature in my greenhouse was in the 20s°F. I woke up Shaun and we went and lit a bunch of candles in there. I'm watching the temperature slowly climb, but I'm terrified that I may have lost some plants. 😭

Monday, January 20, 2025

Day 4 on Testosterone went well.

I slept about 5 hours in a row before waking up last night, so that's improvement. I took a Melatonin around 3 this morning and slept late again since I didn't have to work. I definitely needed it.

My mood has been more stable. Not only did I NOT ask Shaun to not look at/speak to me, but I had a little bit of energy to check on the greenhouse. I think that my mood was just intense my first couple of days on T, and I read that is to be expected. Hopefully, I'm done being irritable.

My joint aches are almost non-existent, so that's really nice.

So far, so good. I guess I just had to get over the initial shock to my system. Hopefully, things will keep improving. Y'all know I will keep you posted.

Goodnight, friends. ❤️

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Calypso snuggs.

I'm still on the struggle bus, but ...

I'm still on the struggle bus, but I did my walking, my Duolingo, and leg day today. Better late than never.

I went to bed early last night and woke up around 1 am with prickly itching in my downstairs. I scratched before I could stop myself and I noticed some skin changes. I'm really sad about that. I'm still on medication for Lichen Sclerosus, so I thought it would stop my labia from changing and/or disappearing. I don't want them to disappear! They are still there, but I'm distraught. Like, do these changes mean that I'm still in an active flare? I don't know anything. I might look for a dermatologist or something.

I'm in physical distress with whatever is happening down there, plus my hormone situation. It's also causing quite a bit of mental distress, too. I feel really scared and sad and then I take my Testosterone and get rage-y on top of that. I think I handled today better than yesterday. I didn't tell Shaun not to talk to me or look at me, but I was pretty rude to him when Toebean let me know he was hungry for his special food that keeps him from getting stones and Shaun hadn't fed him. 😬 Shaun is basically handling everything around the house at this point, and I'm saving all of my energy and politeness for work, since both are very limited.

So far, I feel that the Testosterone has helped my joint pains some. I am still achy, but not as bad. It's only been 3 days, though, so there's plenty of time for me to feel better.

I woke up around noon and I'm heading back to bed at not-even 10. I feel like my batteries are low and it sucks. I do not know how to function like this.

Goodnight, friends. I hope y'all are having a better time than I am. ❤️