I made a 69 on my Calculus test...

I made a 69 on my Calculus test...

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OUT OF 75!!!!!

It's a solid 92!  😃😃😃

Even better, he's going to let us re-take it if we want to.  The perfectionist in me CANNOT pass that up!

Day.

Is.

Made.

🙂

Now if I could stop feeling like turds, that would be great.

I feel like a pile of turds today.

I feel like a pile of turds today.  Woke up, took Shadow to school, went back to sleep instead of going to Psychology class.  Took myself to work for a few hours, now I'm here getting ready for Calculus.  I will only miss that class if I'm on my deathbed.  LOL

Hopefully I get to find out how I did on my test.  More motivation to go.  🙂

Yesterday was Shaun's birthday.

Yesterday was Shaun's birthday.  He was sick.  I was getting sick.  I was battling snot while trying to take my Calculus test.  LOL

Today, we are both sicker.  Woo.

I just took some Zyrtec.  Hopefully it helps.  I'm about to clean my litter boxes and shower.  Maybe I'll have some soup after that and call it a night.  Classes are in full swing and I feel so run down.  I wish there was a "Pause" button on life sometimes.

I hope y'all are doing well - or at least better than I am.  ❤

Just finished my first Calculus test.

Just finished my first Calculus test. I feel like it went ok, but I've been wrong before. Hopefully, we'll know by Wednesday. That is the plan.

Send all the good math vibes to me, PLEASE.

Zaboo went home today!

Zaboo went home today!  It's a day early, but my sinuses aren't complaining!  Happy life, kiddo!  ❤

Heading to Gadsden again.  I hope I don't find anyone else on the way home.  LOL

Hopefully this post isn't made so early that no one sees it.

Hopefully this post isn't made so early that no one sees it.  I have a question about Celexa.

So I'm still on half a pill and that's going ok.  I switched to taking it in the morning and I'm not yet sure if I'm sleeping any better (I'm still having to take Melatonin to sleep) (I've only been taking Celexa in the morning for a couple of days now, but I'm getting sinus crap so that's making it hard to sleep, so I just don't know yet), but it's not making me drowsy to take it in the day, so I'll keep doing that.

I was thinking about trying my full dose this coming weekend, but only because that is what the doctor prescribed.  I'm feeling pretty ok, overall.  So I'm not sure that I should take more.  I will try to call again this week for the doctor's opinion.  I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone, but I haven't tried hard.  School started, so my focus shifted.

Edited:  I had a question about jaw clenching on this medication.  I wrongly assumed that clenching your jaw / teeth would be too absurd to be a side effect, but Google says otherwise.  It is apparently common on SSRI's.

Main thing is:  How do I stop it?  I know that most of you say the side effects will fade.  I'm really hoping this one does soon.

I'm behind on posting - I actually did these before classes started last week!

I'm behind on posting - I actually did these before classes started last week!  They didn't last long, so I didn't get any better photos, unfortunately.  Let me tell you about them.

So this is a new polish - I think it is thermal, but it's nothing aside from hot here, so I never saw it change.  I do wash my hands (often, actually), but I think that I was so fixated on school starting that I didn't pay much attention to them while they were on.

So I'm digging the pink - it's a great shade.  The rainbow shards you see, unfortunately, were done with nail foils.  Beautiful, finicky nail foils.  LOL  I tried several different topcoats to see which wouldn't dull the effect, but only the crappy water-based one worked and that's just not enough to keep them on for long.  🙁

I threw a thin, metal unicorn on there because obviously rainbows and unicorns and pink are a winning combo.  I really loved the way these looked, but alas, they were chipping off by the next day.  I picked at them all week because nerves (terrible, horrible thing to do to your nails, btw), then FINALLY took off the remaining shards last night.  Now my nails are just naked and I have a Calculus test tomorrow, so they will remain bare for now.  🙁

I'm hoping this semester allows me at least SOME time to play with my nail art goodies, but that remains to be seen.  If I do manage to have time to paint, y'all will be the first to know!  🙂

I did my homework all except for those 2 weird triangle problems.

I did my homework all except for those 2 weird triangle problems. And I got it right!

PHEW!

Who dis?

Who dis?

I've never mathed a triangle. Does it have a name?! Calculus just threw me a curve ball.

Edited to add: Shaun just said his name is Delta. Nice to meet you, Delta. LOL

My life. 😂

My life. 😂

I've been going over Trig today.

I've been going over Trig today. I think it's coming back. THANK GOODNESS.

These are the notes from class on Wednesday. I like to treat them like homework and do them over before actually doing my homework.

All I can say at this moment is that I'm hanging in there. I'm about to finish my homework and then I'll have a better idea of how ready I am (or not) for the test on Monday.

This stuff is so cool, but dang. It's not exactly easy.

I am stressed to death, y'all.

I am stressed to death, y'all.  We have a Calculus test Monday and I'm RUSTY on my Trig.  Should have been practicing that all summer, but I had work, other classes, catastrophes, and no time.

I hope it comes back.  I may just be in a passing bad moment right now, but I legit feel like tapping out right now.  I really don't know if I have 3 more years of fight left in me.

If everything goes as planned on Tuesday...

If everything goes as planned on Tuesday it looks like Zaboo will have a forever home! Yay, baby cat! 😃

I just looked down and told this thing...

I just looked down and told this thing "You're the worst." after he beat up and crinkled every page that I was trying to use. In response he started purring, then fell asleep like this - on top of half of the pages I need.

He has no idea how lucky he is that most of my patience is reserved for non-humans. LOL

Well... I WAS making progress.

Well... I WAS making progress.

Made it to Gadsden State and back...

Made it to Gadsden State and back without using navigation for the first time ever.

Also, didn't find any animals this time. Thank goodness!

Speaking of found animals - I just let Emma outside to use the bathroom and Zaboo is at the door CRYING PITIFULLY. She doesn't even like him! He hates it when anyone leaves him. Weirdo.

Got my book today. Isn't it beautiful! 😃

Got my book today. Isn't it beautiful! 😃

Came home and got almost half of my homework done. I feel a bit better now. Will probably have more homework after tonight, but it's ok. I'm enjoying it so far! ❤️

Heading to class now. 😃

Sun-screening my face before I left and...

Sun-screening my face before I left and noticed that I have dark circles under my eyes. LOL What causes that? I look like a raccoon today.

The semester started TWO DAYS AGO and I'm already behind. 🙁

The semester started TWO DAYS AGO and I'm already behind.  🙁

I was so exhausted from not being able to sleep Monday night that I went to work late, got off late, and was so tired when I got home that I didn't do my Calculus homework.  Basically, I moved the cat, ate dinner, and went to bed.

I did sleep last night, but I also found out that I missed the first day of Health class, which was yesterday morning.  Banner has the class days listed as "TR" - which I thought meant Thursday.  Apparently, that is Tuesday and Thursday, which makes no damn sense to me, but whatever.

I moved the cat to another room (the dining room / living area), which is where I napped yesterday morning.  I didn't do that before because I didn't want fleas in the carpet and I also didn't want him getting my dogs sick.  Since he was cleared by the vet and can't get my dogs sick, that's where I left him last night.

We spent plenty of time holding him and petting him, but crated him when we left the room.  We have to do that because he freaks out when left alone - digging, scratching, etc.  I think he still hasn't understood that he's not being abandoned.  Unfortunately, he will be crated all day, too while I'm gone, which probably isn't going to help his fear.  🙁  I hate that, but it's really the best I can do.  My house is so full of animals that I really don't have space to quarantine him from the other cats, but I suppose it's better than being left in the median of 431.

If anyone wants to kitten-sit let me know.  I swear I will take him back after work and school every day, but I hate leaving him confined while I'm gone.  His crate has a litter box, food, and water in it, so he should be good to go.

And on that note I have to go finish feeding everyone, and then shower.  Time to get on with this day, I suppose.

Sincerely hoping I can sleep this good tonight.

Sincerely hoping I can sleep this good tonight. I am jealous.

Goodnight, friends! ❤️

I have homework. This is not what I'm supposed to be doing.

I have homework. This is not what I'm supposed to be doing. But he's purring so loud! 😳

I have good news and bad news.

I have good news and bad news.

Good news:  Kitten is a healthy 3-month old baby boy.  Dr. Long de-wormed him and treated him for fleas.  We'll go back for shots in a couple of weeks if he hasn't found his owners or a new home.  I've been calling him "Lemur" or "Zoboomafoo" because of his ridiculously long tail.

Bad news:  My Calculus book was delayed, so that sucks.  One of my classmates sent me a pic of the page our homework problems are on so I will work from that, but it's not my favorite.  🙁  I want my book!

Also, as a precaution I have to keep Zoboo away from my cats for a week.  Blegh.  I guess he'll be in my bedroom.  (Sarcastic) yay.

Guess who woke me up.

Guess who woke me up.

Tort Baby.

They may not vocalize like other animals, but trust me when I say that they can get your attention when they want it. LOL

Someone is ready for his salad.

That's ok. I napped a little. My head hurts. Gonna take some Tylenol, get everyone fed, and try to get on with this day.

I don't know if I slept more than 2.5 hours.

I don't know if I slept more than 2.5 hours. The kitten eventually shut up, but I woke up at 3 and I don't think I slept more than that, though I laid there trying. Pretty sure it's the Celexa keeping me up. 😕

I have been taking one melatonin gummy, but tonight I take 2.

I've got a house full of crying babies and I just don't care. Beau is mad that I've been feeding him in a crate. That means he can't run around eating from everyone's bowl anymore. So he's whining and barking. Lemur Cat is meowing, of course, because I'm not in the room holding and petting him. And I'm on the couch, away from it all because I think I need a nap. I can't do anything feeling like this. Blegh.

Kitten pics!

Finally, a good shot of his face.

Roly Poly in a Blanket

The tail on this one! Like he's a dang Lemur or something! (I know the perspective is weird, but he's never still!)

Looks like it's going to be a long night.

Looks like it's going to be a long night. Baby cat freaks out if so much as one person leaves the room. 😕 We needed to go to Wal-Mart (I was low on cat litter before he ended up here), so we left him in my bedroom with the door shut. He promptly panicked and tried to cram himself through the gap under my door. 🙁

Ended up crating him so he wouldn't rip up my floor, hurt himself, or reach my cats under the door. He's been screaming since before we left and since we got home.

I don't have any great solution; the last time I brought home kittens they got sick - as did some of my adult cats with some sort of cold. It was awful. So I want to keep him quarantined, but I don't have a cat-safe room, really. The best I've got is my bedroom, but I have my tarantula, ball python, and horned lizards in there. I don't exactly want a kitten loose in there - not to mention the fact that I'm allergic to cats so I don't want him all over my stuff.

Anyway. Little Long Tail is safe and fed, but not necessarily happy. He meowed / growled when he ate, cried when he pooped, and feels a little thin. Hopefully I can have him seen soon and hopefully he settles in. I was doing great on my schedule and want to keep my momentum. Already a little late making it to bed, but I'm turning in soon.

Goodnight, friends. Wish me some sleep, please!

On my way home from class and...

Just found this thing in the median on 431 in front of the Mapco near Winn-Dixie. Tried to grab him when no traffic was coming and he ran across the road. Turned around to get on the other side of the road and when I got close enough to see him I sat down and called him. Thankfully, the traffic was big and scary and he came to me after deliberating and crying about it for a few minutes.

Super lovey, vocal, really long tail, unsure of gender. (Will check later.) Was hungry and thirsty. No idea if he belongs to someone (posted in Happy Tails) but if unclaimed, will need a home. I already have 10 cats. Will help with spay or neuter.

So pumped about Cal I!

So pumped about Cal I! We didn't waste any time and started today. LOVE MY TEACHER!!!

Also... These friends. 😃

Psychology class went ok.

Psychology class went ok.  I took the precursor to it, oh... 15 years ago?  LOL  There was a hand full of students who hadn't take it at all.  She said that it would help to remember what we'd taken, but she would make sure not to leave us behind.  That's nice.  Sounds like the class will require a lot of work (case studies, assignments, etc.), but that's ok.

I just read a GINORMOUS announcement from my Calculus teacher.  An excerpt:  "If you will put in the time and effort and participation, I can help you prove to yourself how capable you are."  I'm feeling pretty excited right about now.  Sounds like he will be a great teacher, so hopefully I will do well in his class.  I would love to prove to myself that I can ace Cal I.  😃

On another note I got a letter in the mail.  Apparently, I forgot to pay my mortgage this month!  😳  That is unlike me because I'm so usually so organized and worried about stuff.  I'm telling y'all - I hit a LOW point.  Was very not myself for a little bit there.  😕  So I gotta figure that out ASAP, but it'll be ok.

Well, AC guy just left.  Woohoo!  Maybe we'll stay cool now.  I hope.

It's after 8 and Blackboard says...

It's after 8 and Blackboard says I'm still in Biology and Ethics.  LOL  So much for checking it in the morning.

I've been up since 6:30 this morning.  I didn't sleep until 3 or even noon any day this weekend, so I feel like I'm making progress on making a good sleep schedule into habit.  Never thought I'd see the day that I went to sleep and woke up around the same time every day, but here I am - acting like a real adult.  LOL

This isn't much, but I did one bodyweight circuit from Nerdfitness this morning, too.  I could do more, but it's hot in my house (the A/C keeps freezing - guy is on the way!), but I also don't want to burn out.  I really don't like to exercise, even though it does make me feel better.  So I'm taking baby steps and that's ok.

Maybe by the time I come off these antidepressants I will have built enough good habits that I'm just ok.  I suppose only time will tell, but I do know that any self-care habits I had before I started school have gone down the toilet one by one and that when my animals died I beat myself up RELENTLESSLY over it.  It also doesn't help that I carry around a massive amount of guilt over my life being mostly ok when so many others are not.  I am not more deserving than people who are born in horrible countries or the animals we farm or anyone in the ecosystems we destroy - I just got lucky.  It's really not fair and I have no idea how to reconcile that except to help others when I can, but it feels like not enough.

And with that, I'm off to clean my litter boxes, feed everyone, and shower.  Happy Monday, people.  ❤

Gotta love it when...

Gotta love it when school starts tomorrow and Blackboard hasn't even updated to reflect your new classes.  😕

Last semester it wasn't updated until late late late - (had to be after midnight because that's the last time I checked it), but the teacher posted an announcement at some point that the first class wouldn't meet, but no one in the whole class checked Blackboard first thing in the morning (who does that?!) and showed up anyway.

Note to self:  Check Blackboard in the morning.

I really love that Blackboard is a thing now, but dang... update it a day or two before the new semester starts PLEASE.

In other news:  Today I felt ok.  Woke up a little swimmy-brained, didn't last long, and I wasn't even a dead lump.  Progress!  🙂

Y'all wish me luck tomorrow.  First days are usually pretty chill, but I'm trying my best not to anxiety myself to death over Calculus.  This is the one I've been waiting for.  It will probably determine if Computer Science is actually attainable for me.  😳

I took half a Celexa last night and today was much better.

I took half a Celexa last night and today was much better.  I was barely nauseated, less swimmy-headed, and oh - I FINALLY slept!  (Though I am sure that part had something to do with the Melatonin gummy I ate).

I never heard from the doctor, but I'm planning to stay on 10mg unless I need to take the full dose he prescribed.  My motivation isn't back to 100%, but I do feel less dead and less down than I have, which is REALLY nice.  I can do things, but I'm taking it easy this weekend because school starts Monday, so I'll be running my ass off then.  I probably won't have another weekend of downtime anytime soon.  😕

Over the last couple of days I've been having bursts of energy, but with the way my head feels I've been afraid to act on them.  It feels really pressurized and like if I get my blood pumping I'll get a migraine, so that's no good.  But if my head gets right soon I will start doing more exercise than just walking.  I gotta do something because I hate feeling antsy, but it's not like it wouldn't be good for me anyway.

And on that note I'm heading to bed.  I took my medicine like a good girl and also ate another gummy.  It's super early for me to be going to sleep on a weekend, but I've been waking up early and I'd like to stick to that schedule if I can.  I might even set an alarm for in the morning.  ON A SUNDAY, Y'ALL.  I think I've probably never done that in my life.  LOL

Goodnight, friends, and thank you ❤ to everyone who has checked on me and helped me through this medication ordeal.  It may not be over, but it's such a relief to know that I'm not alone.  I appreciate all of you!

Today was not fun AT ALL.

Today was not fun AT ALL.  My head is so loopy that I'm a little scared to drive.  I feel dizzy if I turn my head too fast.  I've got a weird headache (I've had it since yesterday, but it wasn't so bad).  I only slept 2 hours last night, then 2 more, and then I was awake for the day.  Oh, and don't forget the nausea.  Overall, I'm feeling really not good about this medicine.  🙁

If I had time to sit around and adjust it would be one thing, but classes start back Monday, and while I might survive Health and Psychology on little sleep and with a loopy brain I feel like I need to be on top of my game for Calculus.  I ordered my book today, btw, so that's exciting.  Also a little scary.  Shit's getting real now.  😳

I called the doctor and left a message, but never heard back.  He told me before I left my appointment that I shouldn't be feeling anything major, but I definitely am.  I think I have some sort of sensitivity to medications since I rarely take anything, but when I do I usually end up feeling like this.  I think I'm going to take half a pill tonight and see how that goes.  If I still can't rest I'm probably giving up, or either I'll cut it up into quarters and see how that goes.  All I know is that I feel worse than I did before.  I can handle nausea and headaches (got really used to that on methotrexate), but this loopy business and no-sleep mess has got to GO.

I went to bed around 11, woke up at 1, then again at 4.

I went to bed around 11, woke up at 1, then again at 4.  That's really not cool.  I start school Monday.  I can't be a sleep-deprived zombie.  🙁

Update on myself:

Update on myself:

Today wasn't as hard. I know the meds haven't had time to fix anything, but I'm thankful for any little break I get.

The fog hasn't lifted, but I feel it stirring. I made it to work a little earlier today than I managed to leave the house yesterday. My head has felt weird all day (I'm not a fan of it, but hopefully it won't last). I have also felt really tired. I just took my pill with dinner, so maybe I won't feel sick again. 

Anyway. Maybe things will be going a little better in a few days. I hope so. Until then I'm hanging in there. Thank you to everyone who has checked on me. ❤️

Ok, y'all. So those pretty little abalone foils...

Ok, y'all.  So those pretty little abalone foils were all completely popped off by yesterday afternoon.  I could tell when I was posting the photo of them that they wouldn't be on for very much longer.  😛  But that's ok.  I'd just gotten this Chalkboard Manicure Kit from Ciate in recently, so I thought I'd try it out.

Full Disclosure:  This came out like, 3 years ago.  It was an un-used kit, but definitely NOT new.  LOL  I am too poor to be paying $30 for anything non-essential, so when I found this on sale super cheap I snapped it up.

Anyway.  The kit comes with a matte black polish, a clear matte topcoat, and 4 "chalk pens."  The idea is that you paint the matte black down, draw on it with the pens, and the seal it with the matte topcoat.  Sounded simple enough, so I figured I'd try it out.

Well, the matte black kept drying almost like a crackle - you could see my naked nail through the cracks.  So it took about 3 thick coats to get all of my nails fully covered.  You can probably see that on my thumb, the polish itself cracked after it dried.  Blegh. I'm not sure if it's a matte thing (since I don't wear them often) or maybe that the polish is older, but I wasn't feeling super impressed at that point.

Then I got out the chalk pens and they were pretty runny.  You can see the thin spots in the drawings.  Not only that - the tips were huge and blunt.  Not really great for drawing on a tiny surface in my honest opinion, but if they were thinner it might have not looked very "chalky" so I'm sure it was intentional.

I was tired last night and didn't get too creative.  When I was looking up the date of when the kit came out just now I found maybe 2 or 3 manicures done with it that I actually liked.  Overall, I think it's a neat idea and I'm sure that the "imperfect, kind of messy" look is what's so great about these, but it's really not my thing.  The polish seems brittle and is already chipping, so these are probably about to come off.

Anyone out there digging it, or is this a total nail fail?  (You can be honest.  My feelers won't be hurt!)

I took my first pill 2 hours ago.

I took my first pill 2 hours ago. I'm nauseated and feeling anxious. My chest is pretty tight. Gonna try to get some sleep, but we'll see how that goes.

Maybe next time I'll try to go straight to bed after I take it.

He prescribed Celexa.

He prescribed Celexa. Gonna try that out, I suppose. Nervous. Never taken meds of this type before. 

Thoughts?

I finally left the house, y'all.

I finally left the house, y'all. It's sad how much effort that took.

I got up early (like I have been doing for 2 weeks) to see Shadow and take him to school.

I got up early (like I have been doing for 2 weeks) to see Shadow and take him to school.  But when I got home, I got back in my bed.  I finally got up at 10:45.  I haven't even fed my animals yet.  I'm about to, though.  They are starting to complain.

This is hitting the point where I was a summer or two back - where I didn't go to work if Shaun didn't peel me off the couch.  It is not good.  It is very not good.

I'm planning to go to the CARES clinic this afternoon.  I should be able to manage to drag myself from this house with a few hours worth of effort.  Unless anyone feels like coming and taking me like a little kid.  It might help motivate me to know that things are definitely happening.

Nobody look impressed...

Nobody look impressed unless you are impressed that I actually managed to do a thing.  I'm pretty much an open book, so I don't mind telling you all that I feel like I'm struggling with depression.  I'm not really doing so great overall, but yesterday was somehow mostly fine and I got a lot done, including nails.  Today I am fading into a lump of nothingness again, but maybe it'll pass.  In case any of you might worry, fear not - I made an appointment at the mental health center.  I'm not too happy that they can't see me until October 25th, but I guess that's what I get for being poor and unimportant.  Yay, Alabama!

So the last time I did my nails was July 13th - before Scooter died.  It was the caterpillar nails and you can probably see the effort and creativity that went into them.

That is not the case with these.  There was no creativity involved (though there was unintentional effort.  Yay for being stubborn).  These nails were done with nail foils and aside from them being a complete pain in the ass to apply, they are meant to be a quick and fancy manicure.  If you feel like being impressed, be impressed with my patience because SERIOUSLY - I had forgotten how terrible foils are to work with.

They come with glue, which is milky and runny, and you have to wait until it dries clear, and then wait EVEN SOME MORE before you stick the foil down.  If you don't, then the image gets all crinkly.  After you touch the foil to your nail you have to rub hard (with an orange stick, your other fingernails, or something) to transfer the image.  When you go to pick up the film it was transferred from you are more than likely going to break the image.  So you stick it back down and rub some more.  Repeat until infinity and hope the cracks don't show.  (If you are smart and used a coordinating base coat, you might get lucky there.)  😉

The other downside to foils is that they are brittle.  You would think that a normal, kick-ass topcoat would seal them down, but no.  A normal, kick-ass topcoat will cause them to wrinkle.  You have to use a runny, milky, water-based topcoat to seal them.  THEN, you are allowed to use the topcoat of your choice.  AND EVEN THEN your normally kick-ass topcoat won't keep these on for long.  I just looked down and the whole freaking foil has popped off of my pointer finger somewhere between the time I left work and got home to type this.  So.  That's some old crap, but it was pretty while it lasted.

In case you all want to run out and try foils now (I mean - who wouldn't after how fun I made it sound?) this is where I got them:

http://www.dollarnailart.com/cat_pages/foils.html

I ordered this abalone-looking stone print a long time ago so I don't know if they still have that, but it looks like they have a ton of cool stuff.  If you have the patience to work with foils I'd say give it a shot.  The rest of my nails are intact, so I probably lost the pointer finger because I was typing a super lot at work today.  I would say that if you wanted a foil manicure to last a week or so you would probably be disappointed, but usually if you wrap your tips, you're good to go for a couple of days, at least.

We're getting ready for bed.

We're getting ready for bed. She's putting away her stuff, too. 😂❤️

That moment when your teenage son turns to you and asks...

That moment when your teenage son turns to you and asks "Do you know what a Hoover is?" and your heart stops.

I was like "A vacuum cleaner?"

"No."

Me:  "😳" 

"You know, when someone puts their mouth

(at this point my eyes are huge and I'm thinking "Oh shit.")

... over your nose and sucks all your air out. It's funny. It makes this sound. *makes sound*"

Me:  *breathing a sigh of relief*  "That's gross. What about the boogers?"

"You do it with someone you're close to, mom."

Me:  "Ooook then."

Jesus. We've had some talks and I'm pretty open with him, but I really was not prepared for where I thought that was going!

Went by Tractor Supply for some cat food...

Went by Tractor Supply for some cat food. Found a good deal on tennis balls, so I bought a bag. 

Apparently, Beau / Roger is all about some fetch. He got so excited when we threw the ball, and he brought it straight back immediately. I think he's having a good day. 🙂

I cleaned up an entire trash bag full of newspaper from the dog room.

I cleaned up an entire trash bag full of newspaper from the dog room. LOL Since they have a doggie door, they bring in dust and they shed, so the floor needed sweeping. Found out (by observing her doing it and also by sticking my hand in it) that Faith had been marking some of the papers. I don't know how she chose which papers to mark, but anyway, obviously the floor needed to be mopped.

I did all of that stuff. I did it and that room looks great. FOR NOW. LOL

Anyway, old puppy head is relentless when trying to get someone to play with him. He almost had Faith tugging a bone with him. In all the years she been here she's never shown interest in a bone. Maybe he's good for her. She actually nibbled a bone while I was in there cleaning. 🙂

Took my little Booka Bear to see Dr. Long this morning.

Took my little Booka Bear to see Dr. Long this morning.  He's had a lump in the skin on his side for a while now.  A few years ago Dr. Berry said it was a fatty tumor and nothing to worry about.  Well, old boy started chewing at it and he also grew another spot on his chest, so I figured it was time to have it looked at again.

Dr. Long said that as long as we could get him to stop chewing that one spot, it was ok.  They are little tumors, but they don't seem painful to him and he's acting fine.  That one spot is irritated and if we can't get him to leave it alone we'll have it removed.  Otherwise, he's doing fine - thank goodness.  I really needed a dose of good news.

I'm off work AND school today.  Not feeling too bad so far.  Had a horrible nightmare around 5 this morning, but thankfully it was not real life and everything is ok.  I am about to go and get everyone fed, then maybe clean up the newspaper that is covering my dog room floor.  LOL  I'm gonna give Roger / Beau a bone to chew on to keep him out from under my feet.  He got a pizza crust for the first time last night and I think it made his day, but it didn't last long.  Another quick note on the pup:  His hair (what he has of it, anyway) looks less dry and brittle.  Yay for nutrition!  🙂

I don't feel as dead today. That's a little better.

I don't feel as dead today.  That's a little better.

Shower time.  Maybe that will help.

I'm having a depressed day.

I'm having a depressed day. Shaun has had to help me with even the most simple things. I had one goal today - to put away some laundry... but instead, I napped.

I even left the house and went walking with the guys to try to make myself feel better. It didn't work. How long is it ok to feel this way before you go to a doctor? I've been to the mental health center before, but I never feel bad long enough for them to medicate me. Thank goodness, I guess.

I'd always wondered what the differences were.

I'd always wondered what the differences were.  I've had pets spayed and neutered at both regular vets and Alabama Spay/Neuter.  I've sent MANY fosters to Alabama Spay / Neuter.  Everyone has done well, thank goodness.

Nappy did have to go back to the clinic for IV fluids, but she is a large dog, was an adult at the time, and they said she was going into or just coming out of heat (I had no idea - I get everyone fixed ASAP so I don't have to deal with that).  She did great after fluids and came home with no other problems.

Now I will be able to make a more informed decision based on the animal that needs spaying or neutering.  I am glad I came across this.

Sorry for the lack of updates on Beau / Roger.

Sorry for the lack of updates on Beau / Roger. He's doing fine, but it's just been a hard week of getting used to a new schedule and all that.

So... as you probably noticed I haven't settled on a name. I mostly just call him "puppy." It's nothing personal, but I haven't spent a super lot of time with him. My heart is just... I don't know. I'm glad he's ok and I don't mind him being here, but I don't feel that I have much to offer emotionally. I usually try to connect with my fosters more, but I just can't right now. I don't know. My heart feels like it's tired and just dead-ish. It's just been a bad year. 🙁

Anyway. He's been de-wormed and he takes the antibiotic for his skin like a good boy. I put it in wet food and he gobbles it down without a second thought, thank goodness. He also eats like a horse. His belly is getting a little round, which is adorable. 🙂 I know he was lacking nutrition because his coat (what was left of it) was extremely brittle and dry. Due to that and the fact that he's a growing boy I feed him as much as he wants right now. He certainly lets me know when he's still hungry! LOL

Other than that, he has shredded my stash of newspapers that I used for lining cages or whatever. LOL I didn't think to move them out of his reach, so that's on me and it's no big deal. I'm glad he found a way to entertain himself. 😛 I did buy him a rope toy and he loves to sling that around. He tries his best to get Faith to play with him, but she just gets on top of a crate out of his reach. Poor little dude. He has to hang out with old ladies all day!

So yeah. He's doing pretty well. He pooped in the house once in all the time he's been here. I didn't even get on to him for it - I just cleaned it up. Having a great pack of dogs is invaluable when you're fostering because they often do a lot of the training work for you just by being a great leader / example. Anyway, I'd say that's some pretty quick learning for a baby. He does seem really intelligent - when he's not running around jumping all over the place. LOL

So there you go. I'll try to get some pics this weekend. I think his hair is starting to fill in a little bit. 🙂 He's really gonna be handsome when he stops looking so mangy. 😃

If this is so small you can't even read it, no worries.

If this is so small you can't even read it, no worries.  The main thing that excites me is that stand-alone red bar at the top that's almost finished filling up.  😃

I swear ever since Ms. Wheeler showed this to our class I check it obsessively at the end of every semester.  Even though my GPA is not where I want it (thank you, D from 2001), I feel accomplished.  I'm doing things.  I feel SO satisfied every time more of those bars turn from blue to yellow.  😃😃😃

Today was mostly pretty good.

Today was mostly pretty good. I'm home early, but exhausted. I've been wanting to do my nails, but I'm just so tired. We'll see.

Shadow called me when he got home from school to tell me that Booka had been throwing up. I'm gonna make him some chicken soup soon. I swear if I lose one more dog this year I'm digging them all up and getting in the grave with them. I will just lay there crying until I die.

Something amazing has happened.

Something amazing has happened.  I'm awake this early (actually got up at 6:30) and I'm not even mad about it.  I'm fighting the urge to get back in my bed, but I'm trying to create a good habit where I'm up earlier than I need to be so that my mornings aren't crazy and rushed.  I also got up early on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I was miserable, so this is better.  LOL

I was so tired and stressed yesterday that I didn't even tell y'all what I survived.  I had a harvester ant on me!  In the few years that I've had my horned lizards, Koopa and Peach, I've never once gotten an ant on me.  It was so scary.  (I hear their bite is like a hornet sting).  I was trying to feed the lizards, but the ants weren't sleepy enough.  They started crawling everywhere.  I was like, "OMG, this is how I die."  One actually got on me, but I blew him into the tank before he could bite me.  I had the jeeblies for like, some hours.  It was serious.  LOL

Today reinforced my belief that people are crap.

Today reinforced my belief that people are crap. Not all of you, but definitely a lot of you.

I can't tell you how many times I've been harassed by people from Happy Tails because they break the rules and I ask them not to. I had to block someone today, and then she sent her friend after me.

Literally a month ago I was dealing with this same person's mother. The mom was mad that I didn't approve her post bashing a vet clinic, so she came to my personal page and started commenting. Then she had the nerve to tell me to leave her alone! Her daughter tried to pull the same crap this morning, threatening to report me for harassment. I said my peace and blocked her. That's when she sent her friend, but I'm totally the one doing the harassing.

I don't get it. Why do people think they are special and above the rules? How does anyone get so entitled? And why is it that when these people are in the wrong they lose all control and sink to attacking someone's character, or better yet, name-calling? I guess because they have no other defense. But still, it's annoying to death and it blows my mind. Believe it or not I don't wake up every day looking for someone to fight.

I aced my test and have an A in the class! YAYYY!

I aced my test and have an A in the class! YAYYY!

Summer semester down. All A's again! Phew and thank goodness!

The Biology final was BRUTAL.

The Biology final was BRUTAL. I'm horrible with plants. 🙁

Now, the fun part:  waiting for my grade.

My Junior. ❤❤❤

My Junior. ❤❤❤

Jeez, he's getting so tall and skinny. And he's got shoulders for days. My little boy isn't so little anymore. Where has the time gone?

Happy second to last first day at Saks High! ❤

Nicholas and Seth, it's been so long. Is that how it goes? 😛

Nicholas and Seth, it's been so long. Is that how it goes? 😛

You guys ready for Cal I? I'm nervous and excited.

Just logged into my GSCC banner and

Just logged into my GSCC banner and it looks like I got a $500 check applied to my financial aid for Fall.  It says "Private Scholarship Check."  I applied for a few, so I'm not sure who that was.  I assumed I'd get a notice if anyone chose me for something.  I'm thinking it might have been the Evan's Litigation Scholarship Fund, though.  Seems like the most likely bet.

In any case whoever it was:  THANK YOU!  I need all the help I can get!

No, you are not cooler than her.

No, you are not cooler than her.

Knowledge is power; compassion and empathy are treasures.  We all have our place on Earth.  Blind fear and ignorance should NEVER decide the fate of anyone.

If you're reading this you have the Internet; therefore, ignorance (on any subject!) is a choice.  There is NO EXCUSE to not do your own research and educate yourself.  Know better.  Do better.  Be better.  Simple as that.

Beau / Roger / whoever he is is doing ok today. 🙂

Beau / Roger / whoever he is is doing ok today.  🙂  I feel bad for the poor guy because he just gets all over me because he wants to be petted, but there is literally no spot on his sad little body aside from his head, basically, that isn't covered in bumps and open sores.  🙁

He's on antibiotics for that so I'm sure he'll be better soon, but I've tried not to touch him a super lot.  I do wash my hands a ton, but I don't want to inadvertently get anything in his sores that would hurt him or delay his healing.

On a related note:  Since about yesterday afternoon he's barely made a sound.  I don't think that he's normally a talky doggie - I think he was literally begging for help before.  🙁  Those fleas were making him miserable.  Now that his meds have fully kicked in he's able to sit still and he only whines when we wants to go outside (either he hasn't realized that he can go out when he wants, or he is scared to go alone.  I don't know which, but he'll do it if I go with him.)

So, despite the crappy condition of his skin he seems to be feeling much better today.  He still looks pitiful, but hopefully not for long.  🙂

Well, it looks like I've got a Beau / Roger souvenir.

TRIGGER WARNING:  Blood

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Well, it looks like I've got a Beau / Roger souvenir. He was chewing a toy and lost a tooth. He even still squats to pee, which is adorable.

Ah, the joys of having a puppy in the house. 🙂

I was cleaning out my purse last night and...

I was cleaning out my purse last night and found the last of Scooter's staples in there.  Along with his appointment cards and medication.  Now it's all sitting here on my desk.  Looking at me, looking at it.  I don't care if it's weird, but I might put his staples back in.  I'm not done having him close to me yet.  🙁

Beau / Roger is doing ok.  His flea meds seem to be kicking in.  He met Faith, who I thought was going to box him to death (I swear that dog is part kangaroo).  Every time he got near her (or even when she got near him), she had to throw them paws.  LMAO  He's been loose with Nappy for hours because Nappy is chill like that, but I'm not going to leave him unsupervised with Faith and her old crazy self yet.

In other news he has learned how to use the doggie door.  That was pretty hilarious.  He seemed to think he needed to kick it open before walking through, so he would slam it with his front feet and then try to run through before it shut.  LMAO  Last time I saw him go out he jumped so hard to get through that I thought he was gonna flip ass over head.  Babies are so doofy.  😃  But he'll get it all figured out soon.

Anyway.  I haven't eaten all day, so that's on my list of things to do.  If it's not crazy wet outside (I have no idea what it's like because I napped), then I might try to take my new buddy outside to get some nice pics.  We'll see.  🙂

We're FINALLY home.

We're FINALLY home.  I feel like it's been a long day and it's not even quite noon as I start to write this.  Wow.

I met Tracy at Saks High School at 8 this morning to see if we could find Beaumont Roger Bat Ears, I.  He wasn't there and I was worried that he would be a no-show since she couldn't find him yesterday to tell him that he had an appointment today.  Thankfully, he must have gotten the message somehow because we weren't out there long when he came bounding up.  Phew!

So, I gave him a can of wet food, snapped a leash on him, and then we helped him into the car and made our way to the vet.  It was a long trip and a long wait, but he was pretty good for all of it.  We had no problems with riding in the car, and at the vet he was friendly and curious, but he mostly couldn't do anything but chew himself and scratch.  🙁  When we got there the office wasn't super full, but when it started getting packed he hid under my chair.  LOL

He was great for his exam and when we got home I washed him, also.  He didn't like it, but he let me do it without any issue.  I washed a TON of fleas off of him, so he should be feeling much more comfortable now.  Honestly, I have never seen so many fleas on one animal before.  Between his bath and his Nexgard, he should be feeling much better in the next few days.  I am also going to de-worm him.  I'm sure he's full of tapes, if not every other kind of worm, as well.

Anyway.  That's the update for now.  He's crated for now (for his protection and so he can rest - Faith can be pretty wily sometimes, so I want the introduction to go well).  He didn't like it at first, but he's already quiet and passed out.  I'm telling you, honest to goodness, the kid didn't stop moving once since I picked him up.  His skin was driving him crazy.  He definitely needs a nap.  We'll hang out and play later, for sure.  🙂

No mange! He's 32 lbs and 5 months old.

No mange! He's 32 lbs and 5 months old. We're getting him some Nexgard for fleas, and he's got antibiotics for the pustules on his skin. About to check out and head home!

Shadow says he thinks of Rosewood every time he looks at his face. Thinking about calling him Beaumont - Beau for short. 🙂

Frog legs and ears for days.

Frog legs and ears for days. He's got things to say, too. I love talky dogs.

Handsome. Can't wait to see him well.

Handsome. Can't wait to see him well.

I told the vet that he is Roger. It doesn't have to stick. LOL Suggestions?

Found him.

Found him. At the vet. Hope he's not contagious because he's rolling all over me. Sorry I didn't get his face. He can't be still. 🙁 I'll keep trying.

Ears for days. LOL

🙁 Mangy boy hanging around in Saks.

🙁  Mangy boy hanging around in Saks.  He's near the high school, and the church across the street says that he's been out there for weeks.  I think he's been dumped - probably due to his condition.

I'm really not into having another forever dog, and my heart is still broken x1000 over Scooter and Lowrider, but if anyone can help me help him I'll put in the work and let him crash TEMPORARILY.  I just don't have money for the vet and I desperately do not need him giving mange to my remaining old farts.

So... anyone?

Just made it rain Oyster Crackers.

Just made it rain Oyster Crackers. The dogs loved it. Shadow looked less excited and more confused. I thought shouting "Make it rain! " as I threw the crackers made my intention pretty clear... 😛

Despite not sleeping well (imagine that!) I actually didn't have a bad day, somehow.

Despite not sleeping well (imagine that!) I actually didn't have a bad day, somehow.  I think this was the first day since I lost Scooter that I've had feelings other than sorrow or just... nothingness.  I still thought about him and I still cried, but I don't feel that I am currently spiraling into a bad, dark place of no return.  That's refreshing and much-needed.

Class went well and I also know what to expect for the final, so I feel somewhat relieved.  Due to that, I have done nothing but CHILL this evening.  Me and the guys started watching Stranger Things.  It's interesting.  I thought about doing my nails, but action still feels like work, so maybe another day.  I'm not in a creative frame of mind, anyway.

Well, I guess I'm heading back to the couch for a while.  I feel like I'm not done sitting on it yet today.  LOL  Later, friends.

Guess what we're doing tomorrow.

Guess what we're doing tomorrow.

GETTING REGISTERED FOR 11TH GRADE.

My baby man's a Junior!  😳

❤❤❤

Made a 93 on the Biology test I took today.

Made a 93 on the Biology test I took today. Woo! Just one more test to go, then I'm done with Biology and the summer semester! 😃

Bruce has been playing in an empty Amazon box for the last 15 minutes.

Bruce has been playing in an empty Amazon box for the last 15 minutes.  Pretty sure he's a cat, despite his sweet little puppy face.  LOL

FINALLY almost done with notes.  Getting a headache.  Feeling pretty good about mammals and birds, but fungus is less easy.  Hoping to be in bed by 3.  Maybe 6 hours of sleep combined with my 3 from earlier will be enough.

Felt like a long and tiring day.

Felt like a long and tiring day.  Got home, crashed at 8.  Woke up at 11, which is lucky because I (according to the syllabus) have a Biology test tomorrow.  One that we haven't gone over any of the material for, but that really doesn't mean anything.  I'm about to read my notes and get together a comprehensive hand-written summary.  Helps it stick, and sometimes we're allowed to use hand-written notes on the tests.

I was planning to sit on the couch to do notes, but Bruce is doing his "let me out" dance on the glass, so maybe I'll do them in my room so he can come out.  Maybe he won't go back into his hiding spot in my closet.  I don't know that I could find him if he didn't choose to come back out.  He hides like a dang cat.  LOL

Having a peaceful sit and snack before my last student.

Having a peaceful sit and snack before my last student. It's nice out.