I've never seen a dog slam their head on the floor...

I've never seen a dog slam their head on the floor like this, or beat something with their teeth. But I guess if anyone is gonna do weird shit, it'll be Bear. 😂😂😂

I love his bad little side-eye at the end. 😂👀

I love that Bear thinks he can summon Shaun...

I love that Bear thinks he can summon Shaun by doing things Shaun has told him not to do.

Shaun went for groceries and Bear is grabbing things he shouldn't have and then looking around, whining. He's just waiting expectantly to get in trouble, like "Hellooo. I'm being bad. Where's my papa?" 😂😂😂

Shaun just got back and Bear's never been happier to be in sky jail. 😂

Me and my assistant.

Me and my assistant. I obviously put that mouse pad there for Toebean. 😂

Happy Bear. 😊❤️

Happy Bear. 😊❤️

I crashed hard after I took my meds.

I crashed hard after I took my meds. Scar was eating and not with me.

I woke up at 3 and he wasn't on my pillow. Usually, he wants under my cheek or just flops down on my nose. If I move, he moves (just like that). Sorry, couldn't resist - but yeah. If I move, he re-snuggles me almost immediately every time. He sometimes runs me off the pillow until I'm sideways in bed. 

But last night, he was near my chest, not touching me at all. 😭😭😭

When I woke up and noticed, I petted him. He reached a paw out and touched my chest. He's back to halfway on my pillow now, but still keeping some space. He's touching my arm, but not snuggling.

I may have bitten him harder than I thought. In my dream I was biting in self-defense, so I wasn't fucking around. He didn't cry out or run away, but he was asleep and probably as stunned as I was. He's definitely behaving different towards me, though, and I'm sad. I know it sounds funny, (and maybe it is) but in reality I was messed up about it all day yesterday.

I've felt rough all day.

I've felt rough all day. I've been taking Ibuprofen to keep my headache at bay, but it's not enough. I just took my migraine meds and I'm heading to bed. Hopefully, I will sleep so hard I don't even dream.

Look at this precious Toebean. ❤️

Look at this precious Toebean. ❤️

Around 6 this morning, I was having a nightmare.

Around 6 this morning, I was having a nightmare.

I know this because I woke up... with a mouth full of fur. 😬

I was fighting someone in my dream and in real life bit Scar on the back.

I must not have hurt him (thank goodness) because he didn't move. He slept on my pillow the rest of the morning.

I know that I've yelled in my sleep. I probably do the regular flailing, but have no confirmation of that. But waking up nomming on the back of my cat is a new one for me. 😬😅

Sometimes Shaun gotta do what he gotta do...

Sometimes Shaun gotta do what he gotta do to entertain/exercise this dog. 😂

I think Bear has 3 modes:

1. Asleep
2. Mild, as seen here; he's just doing rounds around the house/yard and/or through the bushes, or playing with/following Shaun. He's not too high-energy. He's fetching a rolled or slowly-thrown ball or playing with toys or chewing something.
3. WILD, which is absolute BEAST MODE; "don't-know-what-he's-about-to-do, fuck-the-ice-dispenser, I'm crazy/I have the zoomies" mode.

We get a mix of all 3 throughout the day.

It's funny to me how much he will follow us, though. He ain't about to miss ANYTHING. 😂😂😂

Bear was standing on the little table...

Bear was standing on the little table where the dogs look out the window. We have no idea what possessed him to do this, but, still standing on the table, he faced the wall and jumped straight up. He got some pretty good height. He reached about to the blue line.

He is so strange. We just have no idea what gets into him sometimes. 😂

Look at this BRAT.

Look at this BRAT. Ever since he decided that he was my cat, if any other cat sits near me, he will sit closer. He doesn't care if he has to climb on top of them to squeeze himself between me and them - he will make it happen. 😂

He's so terrible and I love him so much. ❤️😂

I rested so much today.

I rested so much today. I woke up, but laid in bed with my kitty and snuggled and napped. I needed it. It was a busy week.

Shaun hasn't been feeling super great, so he went to bed early in his game room. I went up and cleaned/organized the bedroom a bit, put clean sheets on the bed, and showered. I don't know if there is anything more relaxing and calming and comfortable than clean sheets on my clean body.

I'm chilling in bed. I'm gonna play some games and maybe watch some stuff. Hopefully I'll get some good sleep. I had big plans to do my nails today, but I didn't. Maybe that's a tomorrow thing.

I hope you all rest well. ❤️ I'm gonna try. Goodnight.

Look at this handsome Cub. 😊

Look at this handsome Cub. 😊

Gotta snuggle these 2 every night, lately.

Gotta snuggle these 2 every night, lately. Calypso is especially pushy about it. 😂

Shaun took Kira to an appointment, so...

Shaun took Kira to an appointment, so I'm with the boys alone while at work. Cubba is good, as always.

Bear has gotten out every toy, stolen/shaken my lap blanket and both of my jackets, and has been looking for more stuff to do. I've filled their treat toys, stopped him from pouncing my desk a few times, and have also taken things from him that he shouldn't have. He keeps trying to entice Cubba to play, but Cub is feeling lazy, I guess.

I caught him briefly chewing his fish toy. It didn't last long.

Bear is pure chaos. 😂😂😂

How do you stop a Heeler mix from getting bored?

Thought about not posting this...

Thought about not posting this... for reasons. 😂 But that slide, tho. Bear's ready to help. He's got that sidekick energy. 😂😂😂

Guess where he just came from. 😂😂😂

Guess where he just came from. 😂😂😂

Today started rough.

Today started rough. EARLY meeting, my first demo (got pushed from yesterday), I said "uh" too many times, and I had such a bad headache that I took some meds and went back to sleep. I unfortunately slept through an alarm and missed a meeting (thankfully not a client meeting). It ended up not being a big deal, but I was like "I'm really messing up big time today."

Thankfully, I usually feel like I'm doing well at work. Yesterday when I got off I told Shaun that I had done a good job, and I usually feel like I do. But today was NOT IT.

I'm heading to bed early. No super early meetings are scheduled for tomorrow morning, thank goodness. I am feeling all kinds of frazzled and my self care is slipping, so I gotta get back on top of things.

Goodnight, friends. ❤️ Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

This dog and his legs. 😂😂😂

This dog and his legs. 😂😂😂

It's been a rough day (for me).

It's been a rough day (for me). It's all I can do not to get on the floor and nap with him.

This morning when Bear woke up, he had his kickers going again. We would've gotten video, but I was in a meeting and we had to calm him down.

Shaun had been unpacking a box and there was a long piece of brown packing paper on the floor. Bear was kicking the hell out of it. 😂 It was so noisy and he looked like he was having a great time. When Shaun picked up the paper, Bear started rubbing and head-butting the box. He may be spending too much time with the cats. 😂😂😂

We never know what this little goblin is going to do next. 😂

Ugh, what a flirt. 😂❤️

Ugh, what a flirt. 😂❤️

I love my nightly cuddles. 😊

I love my nightly cuddles. 😊

I woke up around 4 this morning...

I woke up around 4 this morning with a migraine brewing. I took some meds and headed it off, but I slept terribly and was tired all day. I ended up working from couch. Shaun made me cheesy toast and soup for lunch. I just slogged through the day as best I could and took a nap as soon as I got off work.

Unrelated, I feel like I might be having some allergies. I worked in the greenhouse yesterday and kicked up a bunch of dust. I don't feel sick, thank goodness. Just itchy and runny of the nose. It'll be great if that doesn't progress into something worse.

I have my first client demo early tomorrow morning. I'm excited. I'm going to wake up early and take a shower so I'll hopefully feel clear-headed enough to communicate. I feel like a whole mess right now, so I'm heading to bed shortly. Hopefully some rest will do me good.

Happy Monday. 😂😂😂

Haha. Yes, I literally put a reminder in my calendar...

Haha. Yes, I literally put a reminder in my calendar the day I got the email that this place was making Red Velvet Tres Leches. 😂 I'm not about to miss that!

I know some of y'all have been curious...

I know some of y'all have been curious about Bear and the ice dispenser, so here he is with cheese vs. no cheese.

We cheese him for several reasons:

• It's not safe for him to be so wild on the slippy floor, as seen by him almost falling
• He used to bite us in his excitement and he got better about that, but still, why risk it?
• It's obviously triggering to him for some reason and why rile him up if we don't have to?

He was definitely worse when we first got him - biting and body-checking, and trying to maul the fridge. I think that repeated exposure to the noise every day with cheese has lessened his reaction to a more playful vibe because I can obviously get ice now - it's just not worth doing without the cheese. 😂  We've been doing this for almost a year now - it's hard to believe we've had him for that long!

You can tell he's on alert the moment the fridge chimes when I change the dispenser from water to ice. Unfortunately, his wild response isn't limited to only the ice dispenser. He does this for basically any rumbling noise, including moving the trash and recycling bins weekly. We just manage him with treats and/or keeping him away from the noise (locking him in the house when we move the bins).

Edited to add:  Other long-lasting treats work IF HE'S INTERESTED. He'll grab his bones and run outside if he likes it. If not, you can see the struggle as he tries to contain himself for the treat.

This makes my third week on Testosterone and Hypothyroid meds.

This makes my third week on Testosterone and Hypothyroid meds. According to the doctor, I should be feeling pretty good by now - and I do.

• No migraines since I started these meds
• Sleeping better
• Not always cold; in fact I'm sometimes warm without a hoodie and blanket
• I've got a bit more energy
• Even though I've felt stress, I'm not taken out by it
• Not as achy as I was, but it's still there
• Have possibly lost a little weight, but I'm not really tracking it
• I still have bouts of brain fog, but I'm finding my words better than I used to

This is DEFINITELY improvement. I'll have my hormone levels tested pretty soon and see how it looks from that perspective, but I'm grateful that I'm feeling a good bit better.

I don't know what would get me back to 100% (or if it's even possible to do so), but I'm going to try to stay on top of my self-care and continue looking for answers for whatever ails me. I won't say that I don't trust doctors, but I feel better when I'm an active participant in my care. It feels better than taking someone's word over something as important as health.

Also, just throwing this out there since it's a health update:  My lichen sclerosis is under control, as well. My downstairs is ok and still there and doing what it should. I was terrified that it would never be ok, but it is and that's a huge relief.

Look at this dog.

Look at this dog. He's got dog business to do. No time to explain why the blanket needed shaking. He checked on me, then was on his way. 😂

Shaun swept and vacuumed this morning.

Shaun swept and vacuumed this morning. When I came downstairs, I didn't see Bear anywhere, inside or out. When Bear came back in the house, he was covered in leaves - most of which he shook off onto the freshly-cleaned floors. He must've been playing in the bushes. I don't know why he loves the bushes so much, but he is always in them. 😂

Pictured here is Bear - exhausted from dirtying the floor and beating up my flippy-floppy.

Being a menace is hard work. 😂😂😂

I feel like we've been initiated. 😂

I feel like we've been initiated. 😂

It seems like a rite of passage to have to remove shopping bags from your prickly plants here. 🍃

How is this comfortable?!

How is this comfortable?! 😂😂😂 She is sound asleep.

Some BEASMR for you this morning. 😂

Some BEASMR for you this morning. 😂

I'm glad I wasn't in bed yet.

I'm glad I wasn't in bed yet. I just had to get the ring on Toebean's collar unstuck from around one of his lower canines. 😳 He came straight up to my face like "Help me."

He's the only cat in the house with a collar on because he has a chip that goes to a special feeder with the food that keeps him from making stones. They're all indoor only, so we don't make anyone else wear them.

He's already back to bathing, so he's fine, but that's definitely how he got stuck. I'll get Shaun to see if we can make that ring smaller somehow tomorrow so it doesn't happen again.

Bear and his kickers. 😂

Bear and his kickers. 😂 He never kicked before we got his knees fixed. He did it a few weeks ago for the first time (that we saw) and now it's becoming more frequent.

I've only ever seen dogs do it after marking to spread their scent, but he doesn't even lift a leg to pee and he doesn't pee in the house. I have no idea why he's doing this, but whatever floats his boat. 😂😂😂 I'm glad he's enjoying his legs. 😊❤️

I went to bed around 9 last night...

I went to bed around 9 last night. I woke up at 3 this morning and haven't been back to sleep. Now I'm finally getting sleepy again... Right before my alarm goes off. 😕

Have y'all ever heard someone talk in their sleep with a C-PAP on? Because Shaun was last night and it was goofy as hell. 😂

Shaun bought this toy for the dogs.

Shaun bought this toy for the dogs. Cub is the only one who really plays with it. Well, he hogs it. Bear is so passive that he's like "Whatever."

Cub was going crazy on it just now and Shaun figured out it's because a few treats were stuck in it. Cub definitely isn't one to mess around when treats are up for grabs. 😂

I love that he likes it so much, but it's SO NOISY. 😂 It's not MY favorite dog toy, but that's not what matters.

Harley. 🤦🏻😂😂😂

Harley. 🤦🏻😂😂😂

Calypso sleeps so dang hard.

Calypso sleeps so dang hard. Her head is almost hanging off my knee and she doesn't care one bit. 😂

For the past week I've been super stressed.

For the past week I've been super stressed. Politically, there is a whole lot going on and I'm sure that's a strategy to overwhelm us. I'm trying not to let it work. I also had some work stress, which ended up not being bad, but I did work some longer hours. That's ok. My point is that I slept late today because I just felt like I needed it.

At 1:something, Shaun came upstairs to check on me, which I normally appreciate, but I was still half asleep and he was turned up to 100. 😂😂😂 He was like "I thawed a rat and need your help feeding the snake we could've gone on a road trip today I can probably feed the snake by myself it's whatever what do you want to do?" and I'm just tucked in with my cat and squinting at him like "Wtf, bro?"

I'm so glad he felt great today, but that was a bit much. 😂😂😂

Anyway, I slept late and didn't have a sleep hangover, so to me that says I needed it. Despite feeling stressed most of the week, I didn't have nightmares last night. I actually had pleasant and entertaining dreams for once. I can't remember the last time that happened.

So yesterday was 2 full weeks on Testosterone and I haven't had a migraine despite my stress levels, so that's amazing. I'm finally sleeping at night again and it's wonderful. Even if I wake up to pee or whatever I'm usually able to fall back asleep. I also feel less brain-foggy and that is a huge relief.

I haven't hopped on a scale, but I feel like I might have lost some weight, too. I'm not doing anything crazy. I have a 32-day streak of walking at least 15 minutes per day. I started small because I figured it would be easier to make into a habit. I am still doing weights 3x/week, except that I skipped 2 days last week. Instead of beating myself up, I'm just going to pick up where I left off this coming week.

I don't know if weight loss would be due to the Testosterone or not, but I also started meds for Hypothyroid around the same time. All I do know is that I tried to lose weight before, during, and after college and it didn't matter if I fasted for days and walked an hour a day at the gym, it wasn't budging. But now I feel like I'm not actually trying hard and it's happening, not to mention that I don't constantly feel like I'm freezing all the time.

Whatever it is, I'm grateful that I'm feeling more normal. I also feel like I finally have a say over the state of my body. It's just weird to me that I spent so much time trying to get in shape and it wasn't happening, but now that my hormones are medicated, it doesn't feel like it will be impossible anymore. Hopefully, this will be a healthy year for me. We shall see.