Confession Time:
TL;DR Version: I am feeling pretty overwhelmed.
Detailed Version: School and my new meds are totally kicking my ass.
Have you ever felt like you have so much to do that you can't do anything? Well, I'm struggling with that right now. It's a bad spot to be in because I have SO MUCH TO DO. Also, I am pretty stressed out. I feel like I'm earning my gray hairs 10 at a time right now.
I'm scraping by on my bills even a little more than usual because I'm missing time at work due to being wiped out, super nauseated, or going to class. Also money-related: Shadow won't stop growing and I have two animals who seem to need to see a vet. Nothing major is wrong, but they are things I would like to have checked out sooner rather than later. I could suck it up and ask Shaun to help me, but I am debt-free for the moment and really want to stay that way. I am doing a two-day festival next weekend with my Polish All the Things stuff (somehow, with all that energy I don't have) at Janney Furnace in Ohatchee so I'm hoping I make enough extra money to take care of things. If not - I'll suck it up and ask for help. I can't have anyone going without around here.
Other than that stress it feels like every little thing I do takes a huge amount of effort now. Housework, studying, leaving my house, brushing my hair, making salad for the reptiles, scooping the litter boxes, etc. Shaun and Shadow are both helping me, but now the freaking grass is growing so we'll have to start cutting it and damn - it's just another thing on my list of things to do. And it's a thing that Shadow and I both hate doing. I usually hate wet weather, but I am so thankful for it this weekend because it meant that I didn't have to bust out the lawn mower.
I am sure that everything would be easier to juggle if it wasn't for my medication. I take it on Friday and then spend most of my weekend resting. I just don't have the energy for anything else. If I sit down and am not actively engaged in doing something (like studying), then I will fall asleep - even though I slept all night the night before. I mean I've ALWAYS been great at sleeping, but this is extreme. I slept all night last night and could use a nap right now. I am desperately fighting the urge because me and the kid are gonna get up and do some cleaning together shortly. I hope.
I don't know. My whole life feels different right now and not in a great way. I have cut my nails twice because I don't even have time to throw a coat of something plain on them, and I've turned down 2 geckos and 2 hedgehogs and the mention of possible rats - all of which I would love to take in if I could. I just don't feel like myself. I feel like a machine whose batteries are about dead.
Spring Break starts March 30 for me, but instead of relaxing I will be working at my job, and I have also designated it as the week that I will use to do some house repairs because I just don't see me getting any extra things done before then.
I don't think I can do housework right now. I think I really have to take a nap. 🙁
Later, Friends.
