Two Things:

Two Things:

1. Differential Equations was great. I am legit giddy. 😁
2. Why is this cat so cute? 😍😍😍😭😭😭

Despite how hard it's been to function recently...

Despite how hard it's been to function recently I'm pretty excited about starting classes tomorrow.  I can't believe I've made it to my final semester.  I have worked so hard for this; not comprehending up until about a year ago that I was actually going to finish school and change my life.  At some point, the "if I graduate" in my mind finally became "when I graduate," but I want you to know that the struggle to get there was real.  For the longest time I could not believe that this was for me.  I honestly don't know that I ever would have started college if my health hadn't kicked me in the ass.

At 32 when I was barely able to walk due to psoriatic arthritis, couldn't afford insurance, covered in psoriasis, and mental health hanging by a thread, a doctor told me to eliminate stress (it triggers psoriatic disease and depression).  I'm a pretty chill type of person, but raising a child by myself for years while living paycheck to paycheck had taken its toll on me.  I'd been working 2-3 jobs to try to make ends meet, the whole while feeling like a failure as a parent due to my son caring for himself so much.  I was not ok.  

Fortunately, most of my problems were financial.  My doctor told me that I seemed intelligent and to go to college.  He said that if I wanted it bad enough I could change my life.  That was November 2014.  January 2015 I started classes and haven't taken a single semester off.

I have honestly enjoyed my time as a student.  It has been extremely stressful at times, but honestly aside from the anxiety that I won't make it, it hasn't been worse than being poor and unhealthy - just different.  At least this kind of stress is due to me wanting something in life and trying to accomplish it.  I am hoping that after I graduate and find a job I can settle into a new normal - a less stressful normal, with health insurance for all of us and a career to look forward to.  I am grateful for my time in school and all that I have learned, but I am excited to see what the future holds.  I really want to see if all of this work paid off.

On that note I'm off to water a few thirsty succulents, shower, and get my notebook prepped for tomorrow.  Differential Equations and Beginner Spanish I:  I'm ready!  😃

I have a doctor appointment next week...

Because I'm tired of the things I share disappearing...

Because I'm tired of the things I share disappearing I'm copying and pasting, too:

Wanna know why there’s no media outrage for the white child murdered by that black dude?

Because there was literally no issue with serving him justice. Man was put in jail just like that.

If the man wasn’t put in jail you’d see an outrage.

Let that child Rest In Peace and stop using him to be racist.

#FalseEquivalence

Edit:  For those who just can’t understand anything at all:  I never told you that YOU shouldn’t be angry.

This is why my family is and has been staying to ourselves since March.

This is why my family is and has been staying to ourselves since March. We have been perhaps what you'd call "extremely" cautious, but for us it is absolutely NOT worth the risk. I know a lot of people who say that they have been careful, but have visited friends and family, traveled, eaten out, attended gatherings... That's just not how I define careful.

To be honest, I really don't mind masking and keeping distant. I hate smelling other people's breath and I hate being breathed on (regardless of how good or bad your breath is). Everyone can stay 6 feet away from me forever. 😂😂😂

So, Balthazar just bit through my fingernail.

TRIGGER WARNING:  Blood
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So, Balthazar just bit through my fingernail. It hurts, a lot, but the popping sound it made when it happened was nauseating. Maybe he agrees on that last bit because he ran and barfed right after.

He's normally a nibbly cat. This time, he chomped. 😳😦 RUDE.

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety the last few days...

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety the last few days... maybe closer to a week and a half by this point.  I've been taking my meds, resting, and just existing through it because there is nothing else to do, really.  I'm grateful that I have medication because without it I'm sure things would be much worse.  Regardless, this sucks and I'm not a fan.

I'm really not enjoying the pandemic.  Some people are just acting like nothing is going on and that drives me crazy.  I know that I'm at the other extreme; when we heard it was coming in March, me, Shaun, and the kids went into hermit mode.  "Better safe than sorry" is the way we feel about it, and while the down-time was nice in some ways, it's also getting pretty lonely for me.  But with case numbers spiking in Alabama right now I just don't feel like it's the time for us to start letting our guard down.

I think I do better when I have something to put my focus on, like school.  I've been trying to study for my CSA, but it's hard to focus or find motivation once I'm already in a slump, so I'm not making a lot of progress and that sucks, too.  My father in law was hospitalized with heart problems over the weekend, so I'm sad and stressed about that.  I'm sure he's safer at the hospital as far as his heart condition goes, but I worry about him catching COVID there.

It's just a bad time.  I know it is for a lot of us.  I really hope things ease up soon.