Rest in Peace, Mr. Win.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Win.  I am only grateful that you had a person who loved you so dearly, who showed you how great life could really be, before you passed.  ❤

Shadow's choir concert...

Shadow's choir concert is Thursday, May 8th, 6:30 at Edgewood Church. He's got a solo! 😃

It's been about a month since I've had my Mirena removed.

I guess I haven't told you all how I'm feeling lately. Still pretty crappy, (generally speaking), though I do have some good days.

I still find myself to be nauseated and battling headaches often, though both are slowly but surely lessening in severity (THANK GOODNESS!). I am also really tired still. Some days I have more energy than others, but for the most part I'm not accomplishing tons of things in life right now. I am behind on housework always and I'm barely able to drag myself to work. I don't even have to work a full 8 hours to feel wiped out, but I'm up to 6 without a nap. I wish I was kidding.

I am also bloated like WHOA and Tums are my best friend. I have all but lost my appetite; however, I feel fatter and blobbier than I ever have. I'm still eating, but usually only about half of my food. It's not intentional - I just can't stomach it. I don't know how / why I'm not losing weight right now. I'm not trying, but feeling like Jabba the Hutt doesn't make me super happy right now.

Emotionally / mentally I'm a lot better, but I do have mood swings with no apparent cause.

Still no sign of my period, either.

I would be concerned about pregnancy, but aside from the fact that it's just not likely if you Google "Mirena Crash" having pregnancy symptoms is up there on the list of shitty ways you feel. So hurray for all that.

All in all it looks like I traded in one set of problems (mental) for another (physical). I'm still trying to take it easy on myself. I'm eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water, and sleeping. My heath insurance kicks in tomorrow, but I don't necessarily feel like I'm bad enough off to see a doctor. If I had seen no improvement by now I'd have an appointment first thing in the morning, but I think my body is working things out and it just needs time. I can handle that.

This is some crap. 🙁

This is some crap.  🙁

I think I need two giant-sized Thundershirts.

I think I need two giant-sized Thundershirts.  Nappy is trying... scratch that, she made it through the gate, and now she's kicking my door.  Sugar is unhappy in her crate.  I think it would be nice to sleep through a thunderstorm, but doggies say "NO SLEEP FOR YOU!  I need to be held."

That is going to be No. 1 on my list of things to buy soon.  😳

So... last night I got a new foster. 😃

So... last night I got a new foster.  😃

She's an adult pyr and her name is Sugar.  I will get photos soon.  For now she is resting and I'm just letting her.  She is very nervous.  Drooling like crazy.  But she likes attention from people so that's good.  She'll be ok.  🙂

OPI Black Spotted.

OPI Black Spotted.

If those words caught your eye, then read on.

I spent more money than I am going to admit here in public having that thing mailed to me from France, since it wasn't available in the U.S. when it came out.

Well, Shaun found a $2 polish in Wal-Mart the other day that has the same effect.  It's by Fing'rs.  It is called "See Spot Run." It's only available in black right now, but maybe they'll make more colors.  A girl can hope.

So... yeah.  Patience might have saved me some money, but who needs money when you can have nail polish instead?  (I'm just kidding, of course.  I need money, too.  LOL)

Been asleep since I got home.

Been asleep since I got home.  Now, I am awake-ish.  Just looked in the mirror and I'm burnt.  I'm a literal red neck right now.  😕

The stupid thing is, I had sunscreen with me all day. I was mostly in the shade, though, so I didn't know I was burning until it was done. 🙁

Sunburns suck.

Please pardon my less than stellar photos. They were taken all rush-like.

Please pardon my less than stellar photos.  They were taken all rush-like.

SO.  You all remember how my jewelry parts didn't arrive until yesterday?  Well, I LITERALLY have not been to sleep yet.  I stayed up ALL NIGHT - not even kidding - making stuff for the show.  This is the total sum of what I accomplished in one night.  I had several pieces going at once.  Put down a layer on one, let it dry while starting another, let THAT one dry while starting another, then go to the second layer on the first piece, rinse and repeat.

So... all that work, for... not a whole lot.  LOL  I made $45 - which is better than nothing.  But I put more into it than that and money is lean right now because I haven't been working a lot.  We are on 4 days at work and it's not like I've been working those full 4 days, anyway.  I have felt entirely too crappy for that.  So this might not have been a great time to spend.  But, it's done, so I will make the best of it.

I think it would have gone better if there had been more young people there, but that was not the case.  The few people who WERE interested were REALLY interested.  Like, I felt weird having people gush over me or anything I'd done in such a way.  That is SOOO not what I'm used to.  LOL But it was also kind of nice, despite the awkwardness that is me.  😛

I only did nails for one girl and she was there all day at her grandmother's booth and we were both kind of bored at some point.  I didn't charge her.  She turned out to be my buddy for most of the day (she was 8 years old, for the record).  All of the money I made was from selling stuff and that's ok.  I got my business card out there into the world, so that is also good.

Unfortunately, I was not as prepared for this show as I wanted to be.  I didn't have all of the jewelry made, nor did I have any of my nail photos printed (though not for a lack of trying).  I am planning on doing OxfordFest in October, so that will give me time to build up a lot more stuff and get ready.  I think that will go over a lot better.  It is wayyy huger for one, and for two, there is always a younger crowd there.

Anyway.  I am sunburnt - which if you know me you know that means that I am going to be sick as hell in a little bit.  I am heading to the couch with some Excedrin as a pre-emptive strike to the headache I'm expecting and I will probably fall asleep there because DAMN, I'm tired.  And sleepy in a huge way.

I will mark the individual photos with what's left or not, in case anyone is interested.  And if you like something that I sold I can always make a special one just for you.  ❤

I sold the green holographic at the bottom left. The dark blue above it is not for sale because Shadow needs it. 😳

I sold the top left, the top pink, the top purple, and the bottom sky blue on the left.

These are all gone now, but I will make more. 🙂

I have survived the day so far.

I have survived the day so far.  The near-daily bout of nausea and headache hit me hard when they hit, but once they pass I'm ok.  Almost like nothing ever happened.  I still feel extra acid-y and I don't really know why.  I have eased up on the coffee, but that hasn't really helped yet.  My diet hasn't changed otherwise, though.

I got a SHITLOAD of nail polish today.

I got a SHITLOAD of nail polish today.  Not only did my Nail Mail from Ashton arrive, but Sally's was having a half off of their clearance prices sale, PLUS, I had a $5 off and 15% off coupon, so yeah.

Ashton sent me a pack of polish that I asked her to grab for me, but then she included a bunch of surprise polish - all of which are Juleps (they don't sell them anywhere I go!), so of course I didn't already have them.  Yay for that!  SUPER THANK YOU, Ashton.  You totally made my day!  😃

Then at Sally's, like I said, sale and coupons.  Good combo.  😃  I spent $26, and I got 20 polishes (including the whole FingerPaints Kaleidoscope Collection), plus a cuticle oil that smelled nice and two pairs of tweezers.

So... before you all start thinking that I'm INSANE for buying that much nail polish I will go ahead and confess something:

I am using it.  Besides for just painting my own nails.  😃

I am pretty shy about saying this kind of stuff, but I have a Polish ALL the Things! booth at the Fair on the Square in Jacksonville tomorrow.  I am going to be doing simple stamping nail art for $10 (kind of like face painting, but it'll last longer), and handing out business cards so maybe that will get me some business doing kid parties.  For real, screw salons - kid parties sound like so much fun to me.  😃

NOT ONLY THAT, but I have printed some nail tattoos that I will sell.  I can do custom nail tattoos and decals easy enough.  AND, this is the crazy part... I am making nail art jewelry.  😳  Most of my supplies didn't come in until today (super suck!), but that just means I have to get off of the Internet and get started.  I have some stones painted already, but they are so large I have nothing to set them in.  They are a great size for necklaces, though.  If things go over well tomorrow I will buy more parts and do necklaces and maybe REALLY make some stuff and try to do OxfordFest.  I don't know.  I don't want to get ahead of myself.  But my plan for tonight is to do earrings and rings.

I wasn't going to post photos of my large "practice stones," but here they are, as I imagine that most people won't have a clue what I meant when I said "nail art jewelry."  I have a few with stamping that I haven't photographed yet.  And some holographic stones.  Those will be beautiful in the sunlight tomorrow.  🙂

I feel. Like complete and utter shit. 🙁

I feel.  Like complete and utter shit.  🙁

I have a terrible headache.  I'm nauseated.  I'm bloated.  I slept ok, but I don't always get that lucky lately.  I often have this acid-y feeling in my throat and chest.  Yuck.  What the hell?

Nothing about me is right lately.  I have some ok days, but then I also have some really bad ones.

The only thing I've changed is the Mirena a few weeks ago.  I think my hormones are still out of whack.  No period yet - though sometimes I think I feel PMS-y, but it's usually gone the next day.

People, this is no joke.  This is some seriously shitty shit.  Thankfully, I feel ok emotionally so that's a plus.

I woke up feeling OK today, but then it all just hit me.  So I'm gonna eat a little something, and take some Ibuprofen, and try to be functional for the afternoon, at least.  Wish me luck.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!

WHAT THE HELL?!?! I swear I just heard an elephant or like, a dinosaur outside. 😳

Unfortunately, I am awake. I feel nauseated which is pretty common the last few weeks. I took some Ibuprofen for my head, but it hasn't helped yet. So I'm trying hard to sleep, but it's not happening. And then I heard that sound.

So weird.

I am going to talk about sexytimes so if you aren't into that - LOOK AWAY NOW.

So. I just used my Caya - for, you know. Getting laid.

I am quite excited to report that no one was injured. No stabs, no eyes put out by freaky flying purple discs of love, no burning spermicide. (I did use spermicide because THAT'S THE RULES, but the Caya Gel, (as it's called), did not burn like the nonoxynol9 crap we have here.) I think I felt some pressure once or twice and Shaun could feel it, but it wasn't uncomfortable for either of us. As long as I don't end up knocked up this is in the running to be my FAVORITE BIRTH CONTROL EVER.

Now I am about to say something embarrassing (and probably gross to quite a few of you). Have a laugh on me if you dare to read farther.

When I put my Caya in I can barely reach in and feel the finger nubby. It's just like RIGHT THERE. But it's supposed to be out of the way. But I was like "HOW?!?!" So while getting laid I have to admit this time that I was picturing all of the vagina diagrams I've seen recently and still not quite comprehending. I was also thinking about vaginal tenting which is supposedly where your cervix moves up (and I think your bladder or something dodges out of the way) to make room for a penis. I'd read that happened, but it sounded like some twilight zone shit so I guess I didn't take it super seriously.

ANYWAY. So after we were done, (as a precaution) (and also out of curiosity), I reached in to see if my diaphragm was where it should be. To my surprise it was not where it usually is. It was MUCH FARTHER back. Like, my business does tricks, y'all. I bet yours does, too. How am I 31 years old and just now knowing this?! 😲

Well if it stayed back like it was I'd have a problem getting it out, but you're supposed to wear it for 6 hours after doing it to give the sperm time to die. So I'm sure my bits will be back to normal by then.

Anyway. How damn fascinating is that?! Is this "vaginal tenting" common knowledge? I surely hope not; otherwise, I have been EXTREMELY left out of the loop. 😂

Happy Earth Day, fellow Earthlings.

This.

Happy Earth Day, fellow Earthlings.

Updated:  Best one I've seen all day!  😃

Well, I just couldn't wait.

I had to try out my Caya (the pretty, purple, oddly-shaped diaphragm).

First impression? Wow. Easy to get in, SUPER easy to get out. Nice velvety texture (not so slippery and hard to grip). Comfortable at the moment. I will wear it for a few hours until I go to bed just to make sure it doesn't make me sore anywhere. So far I like it!

Good news for the ladies - Caya is the one that is one size fits most. I ordered mine from www.barriermethods.com in Germany, but I'm betting that you could do a search and order it from Canada or maybe even the UK. It might be faster / cheaper to get it from somewhere else.

I haven't used either of them as birth control yet, but that will be my next experiment. I feel like I'm getting the hang of this diaphragm stuff so I'm gaining confidence. This is all very exciting. I love to learn new things! 

Sorry if anyone is tired of these, but it's another Diaphragm post!

I wore my Omniflex for several hours yesterday. I felt fine. When I took it out there was a little bit of fresh blood, but the group advised me that it is normal and can happen if the tip of the cervix is bumped. Since I put it in and took it out a few times with varying degrees of success yesterday I'm guessing that's what happened. So my mind is at ease.

I thought I'd wear it for a while again today and I just put it right in. Took a whopping 10 seconds - TOPS. I don't know if I got lucky or if I am just getting the hang of it, but I THINK I'm getting the hang of it.

Now getting it out... that's a bit of a different story. 😂

It's not really hard to get out. It's not even hard to reach. But I'm scared of puncturing it with my nails so I'm SUPER careful. With the Instead Softcup I would just hook my finger UNDER the rim and pull. If I broke the plastic (which I never did), the worst that would happen is that I'd grab another or wear a pad. But I jumped through hoops for these diaphragms so I would be really sad if I broke either of them.

SO... instead of using my index finger to pull it out I've been using my thumb which feels as weird as it sounds. I can get OVER the rim with my thumb and that way I'm not worried about puncturing it. I am more worried about scratching myself, but I don't think I have. I might buy some of those little finger condoms just for this purpose. Probably not necessary, but it would make me feel better. I don't really want to cut my nails though that would be a logical and free solution to this rather minor problem.

Anyway, that's all for now. I took it out just a bit ago and I didn't have anymore blood or anything like that so WOOHOO! So far, so good. Maybe I will - you know - USE IT soon rather than just wear it around. I'm just taking my time, doing my research, and getting comfortable with it. After I get this one all figured out I will try out the Caya. That's the one I'm really excited about. It's got a finger grip for easy removal. I won't have to do any weird thumb-digging with it.

I was not aware that I had a weenie dog.

I was not aware that I had a weenie dog. Emma runs away from the gerbils when we let them out. She also ran from a big fat cute bee just now. 😂😂😂 What a weirdy!

Another diaphragm post:

I joined a Yahoo group a few weeks ago before ordering my diaphragms. (https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/DiaphragmsAndCaps/info) I did a whole bunch of research so I could be sure I made an informed choice. Yay for free information!

On recommendation of the group I have practiced inserting my Omniflex a few times today. First time went fine, 2nd and 3rd it ended up upside-down. 😂 The fourth time I got it right again so I left it in. I've been wearing it for a few hours now and I pretty much don't feel it anymore. That is a good thing because you have to leave them in for 6 hours after you get laid so all of the little spermies can die out.

I read that the Instead cups are 70mm and my diaphragm was sized at 75 so I think I can feel it a little more than I did the cups. It's just a little bit of pressure, though, so it's no big deal. Pretty much not noticeable unless I'm thinking about it.

Diaphragms are also a little trickier to get in than Instead cups. The Insteads have a larger, flatter rim, while the diaphragms are rounded. It makes gripping them tricky and it doesn't help that they are super springy and get slick easily. 😂 I have read stories about them flying across the room and I could totally see that happening. 😂

Anyway - so far, so good. I don't know how Shaun feels about them yet. I want to get used to them and make sure I'm using them correctly before I use them for realizes. 😁  I posted a photo earlier if any of you are curious what they look like. I think they are lovely!

I JUST GOT MY DIAPHRAGMS!!! 😀😀😀

My new diaphragms and some spermicide that is NOT supposed to set your coochie on fire! (In the bad way - I should clarify.)

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE!!! 😳

We've got the Omniflex Wide Seal on the left and the Caya on the right.

I think both of these spermicides have an active ingredient of lactic acid which is much gentler than the nonoxynol 9 (coochie fire) stuff that seems to be the only thing available here in the U.S. I have read about some women making their own spermicide with lemon juice and aloe vera, but I don't know how much I trust that. Also I should say that the nonoxynol 9 doesn't irritate everyone, but there is no way in hell I will personally ever use that again. Just sayin'. (I still have some Today Sponges who are free to a good home.)

So first impressions from me? The rims are springy on both which I expected, but the material is SO SOFT and flexible on the domes. Like, I had no idea. I really expected for them to be much tougher. The Caya is actually kind of velvety. Ooh.

About the Caya - I read that it's so flexible that you REALLY have to make sure it's in place. Like, double-check with your fingers because it's so soft that it's not uncomfortable even if it is in incorrectly. So I'm glad that I know to watch out for that.

Back when I had my periods I used the Instead Softcup with no issues so I don't think these will pose any problems for me. Insertion is about the same just with a different purpose. I guess if you are squeamish about touching your girly bits or putting things in there then this wouldn't be for you. But it doesn't bother me.

Speaking of Instead cups and periods - did you know that many women who use diaphragms use them as menstrual cups, as well? No irritating pads, safer than tampons, and best yet - not adding to the landfills.

I guess that could be a little more messy than some people want to deal with and depending on your bathroom setup at work or school that could be very inconvenient, but I might try it out. I guess I'll just have to see how comfortable they are. But I will admit that when I had my Mirena removed I went Always and Instead shopping. I was so excited. 😂 So I have things to use for that besides these, but that's ok. Better to be prepared than not!

I am very happy that I have these two, but since I had to order them from the internet I have no actual clue if either of them will work for me. There is one more that I have my eye on, too. I might buy it anyway because it's not expensive. It's got a different rim so that's interesting to me.

While I am grateful that I have options I think it really sucks that there is nowhere to get non-hormonal birth control in the U.S. besides condoms and sponges. This kind of stuff should not be left up to trial and error. Thank goodness Dr. Daniels at least fitted me so I knew what size to order.

Anyway, I'm off to check out my new things!

Edited to add: I bought these things from www.barriermethods.com. No prescription necessary, but you should get fitted so you know what size to buy.

This is the neutral color I was complimented on so long ago.

This is the neutral color I was complimented on so long ago. It was really hard to find something that worked with my skin tone and I actually think that Shauna gave me this. I don't think I even picked it out. LOL So she did a great job!

I've wanted to do the glitter gradient tips for SO long. Finally, here they are. And a little heart, because I don't know when to stop. LOL

Yay Cookie!

Yay Cookie!

Got to see my friend Sherri and my Chupacabra!

This day got off to a sucky start, but it sure ended nice.  Got to see my friend Sherri and my Chupacabra!  😃  I can't even tell y'all how wonderful it is that she was adopted locally and that she's with someone who will bring her to play and where I can go see her.

I think the best part is how fast she got comfortable at her new house.  I went to see her the day after I left her there and she wasn't clinging to me or being panicky or anything.  She would sit in my lap and then go sit in her new mommy's lap.  Today when she came over she was very excited and when it was time to go she seemed happy about that, too.  Makes me feel like that was the perfect match.  😃❤

Shadow came home from school early...

Shadow came home from school early yesterday with an upset stomach. I am nauseated and have a headache this morning. Yuck. Having some Ibuprofen with my breakfast and hoping that fixes it. Blegh. 🙁

Kids are gross. 😂😂😂

Update on myself:

I feel mostly ok. I am having some times of extreme grumpiness, but they are not often. I am SLEEPY TO DEATH.  ALL THE TIME.  NO MATTER WHAT. I can sleep all night, wake up sleepy, have lunch, then need a nap in order to function. I wish I was in bed right now, but I have a hungry child and that is the ONLY reason I'm awake.

I guess my body is trying to level out still. Also, I seem to be fighting off an infection. Since I still don't have my diaphragms, (dang, Germany is a LONG way away!) me and Shaun tried the Today Sponge, twice. Oh, that was an ordeal. Let me tell you about it.

 
So I followed the instructions and put the sponge in, but Shaun was being hurt by the cotton pull-out cord. So I thought "Well, I'll just cut that off. Can't be THAT hard to get out without it." So when I reached in for it, I felt the cord all balled up in the middle - very hard. No wonder it was hurting him. So I pulled it out, cut the cord off, and shoved it back in. That was more ok.

 
La de da, had to leave it in for some hours so I did. Tried to get it out and I couldn't.

 
Stupid. short. fingers. 😱

So like a good boyfriend Shaun went digging for it. I've gotta say... I've never "played doctor" with anyone before, but that was REALLY un-sexy. I'm all "Should I push? I think I should push." 😂 It was really uncomfortable, but he got it out and it wasn't so bad so I thought "Maybe this is ok." So a little later we used another one.

 
YEAH. The business was a little uncomfortable the 2nd time around. The digging for it later was actually painful. And then I started cramping, and kind of spotting, and burning DOWN THERE to the point where it hurt to walk. Then it stopped hurting and it became a full on yeastie. Thankfully that is easy enough to treat.

 
BUT NEVER AGAIN.

 
So I think I had a reaction to the spermicide. I read that it can cause yeast infections as well as burning and other unpleasantness. Maybe if I didn't use the sponge often it would be ok, but at this point I just don't want that thing anywhere near my coochie-ca. It sucks because the same spermicide that is in the sponge is also what is sold here for use with diaphragms, but I can order stuff from a different place if I need to.

 
So yeah. My body is all jacked up and worn out and probably damn confused. I can tell that I'm hormonal some days when I'm grumpy, but for the most part all I really feel is tired and sleepy and un-energetic. At least I'm not sad, though - or numb. It's still improvement and I'll take it.

 
Speaking of - I have my 2nd appointment at the mental health center tomorrow. I feel just fine, but I'm going anyway. Can't hurt - especially if I'm going to be up and down for a while.

So... I have 4 Today Sponges left. Anyone up for trying them after that GLOWING review? They are free to a good home. 😂

I've had a big weekend. 😃

I've had a big weekend.  😃

Yesterday we went to the zoo because I'd promised Shadow that for his birthday, but we kept getting rained out or other bad-timing things happened.  It was busy, but that's ok.

My friend Emily met me there so that was awesome because she lives TOO FAR away from me so we don't get to see each other often.  The other awesome thing that happened is that a snake came to me.  Like, not in a cage.  He obviously was a wild snake that thought living with the geese was pretty fun.  Some asshat was poking at him with a stick so he went into the water until that guy left, then came close to the edge again.  We were all just standing there watching him and then he came and tried to come out right were I was standing.  He was literally inches from my leg.  😃😃😃  He couldn't fit through the fence-y thing so he went around the corner more toward my friends where the fence was different.  He came out over there then went across the sidewalk to the other pond.  We made, like, a snake entourage so no one would mess with him and he could cross safely.  Because unfortunately some people are douchebags to snakes and that is not cool.

Then we went to Ulta for girly shopping.  Laurel met us there.  I hate that I didn't get to see her for longer.  🙁  Hopefully we can get together again soon.  Anyway, I spent TOO MUCH money on nail polish, but I always do.  They have things I can't get around here.  They had this one brand I'd never noticed before and it wasn't one of the crazy expensive ones, either.  They had this blue... oh my gosh, my heart skipped a beat when I saw it.  OF COURSE it came home with me.  It was the last one left of that color - obviously because it was so beautiful.  I got a bunch of other great colors, too, most of which were on clearance so HELL YES for that!

Then we went to Outback since ours is closed now.  That is Shaun's favorite place to eat so it was good that we could go.  It was packed, but we didn't have to wait long so that was nice.  😃

THEN we went to Petco.  One of my friends brought me a gerbil a few weeks ago.  She was all alone, though, and that bothered me so I wanted to get her some friends.  We went in and got the two gerbils they had.  They were new at that store and then had to ride an hour home in a box and so when I tried to introduce them all in a neutral space last night it did NOT work out.  The black one might have been alone for too long, too.  😕  I might try it again some other time, but I don't know.  They are housed near each other, but not together.  Maybe that will help, too, that they can see each other.

Shaun seems to really like the original gerbil.  She's black.  The two we brought home last night are lighter.  One is gray-ish and white with a dark tail.  She's really interesting looking.  The other is albino.  Shadow has claimed the interesting-looking gerbil so I guess I have the albino.  I think I'm gonna call her Whitey McHumpy because she's white (duh) and because she keeps humping (or something - I'm not really sure) the water bottle nozzle.  She just gets all up on it and lets the water drip down, then licks it off.  She's kind of bizarre, so really she's my kind of girl.  😃

I also found it funny that for now Shaun's gerbil lives near the other gerbils, but not with them.  It's kind of like how we 3 are in real life - even down to the fact that Shaun is almost always in black, Shadow's the mixed one, and I'm white as shit.  I SO did not mean for that to happen.  It was actually quite hard finding female gerbils so I took the first ones I could find and that is just how it went.  They are all adorable, though.  I will try to get some photos soon.  🙂

And finally my other big news:  I am off to visit Chupa.  She is with my friend Sherri who is going to love her and spoil her.  Sherri is the only person I can think of that I would let have my StupiChupi.  I love that little girl, but she really needs more attention than I can give her.  She was wearing me OUT.  I think that Sherri's house will be a much better fit.  There is always someone home, always a lap available for sitting, and lots of kitties to love.  The best part is that I will still get to see her and now I'm seeing Sherri more, too.  I used to go and visit all the time, but then I don't know what happened - I guess I got busy with work and animals and life got in the way.  🙁  It's been really great seeing her so much lately, though.❤

So that's what I've been up to.  And napping.  Lots of napping lately.  😃

This girl that I love who does animal things with me.  ❤

Me and my snake friend at the zoo.

Me and my snake friend at the zoo.  He was a lot closer to me before he crossed.  And yes, I was so excited that I was doing something weird with my hand and face.  😂

I'm a Grumpasaurus Rex.

I'm a Grumpasaurus Rex. I would like to go home. But I can't right now. 🙁

Went to Aldi.

Went to Aldi. Was not impressed. What's so great about that place?

Lovely.

Lovely.

Fever and chills and extreme tiredness.

Fever and chills and extreme tiredness. Been fighting it all day, but it's winning. Blegh. Can't seem to get right. 🙁

Said goodbye to our office Beast today.

Said goodbye to our office Beast today. What a sad day. 🙁 She'll be better off around animal people, though. Some people just didn't "get" her (or animals in general), and that is their loss. I hope she's never tied up, swatted with a broom, or stepped on again. She deserves better. ❤

I feel so mushy today.

I feel so mushy today. 😂 I guess I am getting some positive feelings back because I feel so head over heels for Shaun. It's not like I ever stopped loving him, but it's hard to appreciate the wonderful things in your life when you hate everything and feel like everyone sucks. 😕

Right now I do still have some pretty big things causing stress in my life, but as long as I've got Shaun I'm gonna be just fine. He's always been there to help me when I was down. He's my best friend and then some. ❤

I don't know. I'm just feeling super grateful for the wonderful people in my life. You all know who you are. I love you. ❤

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Wild Mammal Care of Alabama 205.871.7803 updated their cover photo.

Opossums may look ‘scary’ when trying to protect themselves, but actually they are one of the most benign wild mammals that live among us while providing a litany of benefits. Contrary to what most believe, opossums are actually clean and docile marsupials and are non-zoonotic meaning they can’t transmit diseases to humans.  Their core body temperature is so much lower than most mammals that it's nearly impossible for them to contract and transmit diseases like parvo, distemper and rabies.  Opossums are opportunistic and will not stay in one place for long unless a constant ‘free buffet’ of easy food is provided. This is why we recommend feeding pets indoors or at least removing any uneaten food before dark.  Also, keeping your garbage secured will help keep all animals from disrupting your property.  Don’t forget that the Virginia opossum provides an invaluable service. While most of us sleep the night away peacefully, North America’s only marsupial is cleaning up the streets of things we’d rather not see when we awake. 

So if you’re still not sure about the opossum.......Do a little educational digging and it won’t take long before you say out loud, “ Wow, I had no idea!”

Not a single creature...

Yesterday was pretty terrible.

Yesterday was pretty terrible.  Not because of anything going on with me, but from an outside force.  Someone tried to do a good thing, but the execution of the plan was nothing short of HORRIBLE and it was just very stressful all around.  The execution of the plan has been re-scheduled to be done the way it should have been to begin with so I'm glad that's settled, but I question if I'll ever look at this person the same again.  I don't think it will be possible - which is extremely unfortunate.  Aside from the horrible plan, there was also a great deal of demands being made, and refusal to even speak about the situation.  My relationship with this person is NOT ok.  I guess only time will tell if it ever will be again.

On the flip side I didn't lose my shit yesterday despite how volatile I felt on the inside.  I think if this had happened a week ago with me having my Mirena in it would NOT have ended well.  I mean... shit probably would have hit the fan in a completely irreparable kind of way and I doubt I would have cared.  So yay for timing.

Also, I have to say that rather than freak the fuck out - I let go and put my trust in Shaun.  He had to play mediator, but he's good at it.  I've always trusted him, but this put it to the test.  This is the kind of situation that I NORMALLY would not leave to anyone else to handle, but I did.  If you haven't deduced the conflict was about an animal - one that I care a great deal about.  Despite the stress I stopped my crazy wheels from turning and just left it to him.  I have never done that with anyone else before.  What's even better is that he came through, so I feel closer to him than ever.

All in all one relationship was severely damaged, but a more important one was strengthened.  I am still angry and my feelings are hurt and I've got a stress headache like WHOA, but I'm heading to my couch to relax and forget about this.  It might have dominated my day yesterday, but it's not going to ruin my weekend.

Later, friends.  ❤

People, I painted my nails.

People, I painted my nails.  No, scratch that - I did some nail art to them.  They are nubs from months of lack of care, but they are FANCY nubs.

I am feeling VERY damn accomplished today.  😃

For the first time in probably two months...

I got up when Shaun called me this morning. I feel ok, I've done all of my morning rounds, and I'm ready for work. Honestly I should already be there, but getting in at 10:30 beats rolling in at 1 or 3 any day so I'll take it.

My body feels a little weird, but I have gradually felt my life force return since the removal of my Mirena. I would like to encourage all the ladies who are using hormonal birth control in any form to not overlook the side effects if you are feeling "off." In my case I was on a slow but steady emotional decline. Things got bad enough that I lashed out and stopped doing ANYTHING (even things I liked doing) until some people who care told me I should seek help. I didn't suspect my birth control at first at all because there had been some stress in my life and I thought "Well, feeling this way is probably all part of aging." Turns out it wasn't and I am SO THANKFUL for that.

It could be as simple as trying something new to get you feeling all better again. My personal preference for now is to stay off of hormonal methods which is going to be difficult, but in my personal opinion - WORTH IT. If you are happy with what you are using then more power to you. I'm not trying to push my preferences on anyone - just want to point out that if you aren't so great don't rule it out as the cause. Your happiness and emotional well-being are worth it.

Now, off to work!

Just got an email...

Just got an email... my girly business shipped yesterday from Germany.  I shall have it in about 2 weeks.  🙂

"I'm looking for a boy...

"I'm looking for a boy with a turtle bite on his index finger."

Sounds like my kind of guy. 😛

I'm home.

I'm home. I didn't work for long. I feel emotionally ok, but physically pretty crappy. I feel PMS-y in my body, but nada yet. I'm sore and achy and crampy and BLOATED - and lacking energy in a big way. I am also dealing with bouts of nausea and headaches. I kind of feel like I'm trapped somewhere between PMS and the Mirena Crash. I guess if I had thought it through I might have realized that there would be some side effects after having a hormone in me for 6 years then quitting cold-turkey. Oh well. 

On the bright side I got nail mail today. I ordered some polish from a blog sale and it was waiting for me when I got home. 🙂 I guess the flip side to that is that if I have any energy I'll probably use it cleaning, not doing my nails. Maybe soon I'll feel like painting again.

Had a weird night.

Had a weird night.  I was unintentionally up pretty late, but I feel much better knowing that I have BC options on the way.  I was sort of panicking.  I don't like feeling limited to having only things I don't want.  That's stupid.

So as I was getting ready for bed - at 3 am - I noticed that my bathroom was occupied.  What?  I knocked on the door and Shadow was up getting ready for school.  He was apparently REALLY confused.  I don't know how that happened (he has an alarm clock in his room!), but I told him it was 3 and to go back to bed.  So he did and then I went to bed, too.

I was later woken up at 6:something by a rather panicked 14 year old who had missed the bus somehow.  I didn't want to take him to school, but I did.  I guess that's my job.

While I was up I noticed that I didn't feel so great.  I am rather sore in the guts area, nauseated, and have a headache.  I'm (FINALLY) almost over my sinus crap - so I have a feeling that these are side effects of the removal of my Mirena.  My mood doesn't completely suck again today, so that's nice, but since I don't feel great, meh.  I don't feel like doing much.  I did go back to sleep for a while, but that didn't really help.  I'm gonna eat some breakfast, take some Ibuprofen, and head to work.  Wish me luck.

Aww. Chupa's dreaming.

Aww.  Chupa's dreaming.

Speaking of... why am I not asleep?  Time just got totally away from me.  😳

Another BIRTH CONTROL Post:

I just placed an order from www.barriermethods.com. I bought the Caya Diaphragm (one size fits most), the 75mm Omniflex Wide Seal Diaphragm, and a couple of gentle spermicides to try out. Yay! On the down side they gotta come all the way from Germany so that's a wait. I guess that's ok - my uterus is sad from getting all stirred up and stabbed the other day. I don't need to go and have it poked at right now. 😂

Dr. Daniels prescribed a 75mm diaphragm so that is what I based my purchase on. I'm hoping that he was accurate. I do remember that I couldn't feel the one he put in and it didn't just fall out so I think that's a good sign.

 
I'm really glad that I can purchase things like this even if I can't do it easily. I was pretty panicked that I wasn't able to get my prescription filled around here. Shaun called Planned Parenthood and they said that the manufacturer discontinued the diaphragms (the Internet confirmed that), so there aren't really any suppliers to the U.S. right now. That is rather unfortunate. I strongly feel that we need more options - especially options that don't contain hormones.

 
While I loved my first IUD dearly I know that a lot of women never have any good experiences with them. I know that there is the copper IUD which is what I initially wanted, but after 6 years with an IUD and complications removing them both times I kind of think I've had my fill. Another issue with those is that Shaun often got poked by the stiff little strings (to the point of leaving actual marks on him), and that was pretty much a mood-killer.

 
I can honestly say that if it was up to me to take a pill every day I'd be knocked up. I'm not so great at being consistent and I'm not very fond of taking pills so that narrows my options quite a bit from the jump. I tried the NuvaRing before the Mirena (even though it was hormonal and I wasn't happy about that), and it was ok, but eventually killed my sex drive. Not quite the way I want to control pregnancy. 😂 I don't like condoms and it gets expensive to get anything nice so that's not my first choice, either. It's not like we need disease protection from each other so I kind of feel like I JUST DON'T WANT THAT, anyway.

 
I just don't think it should BE SO DIFFICULT. Regardless of the fact that we don't want kids I'm not really into getting myself spayed, nor do I want to push Shaun towards a vasectomy. I don't know why. I guess because it's like making a choice today for what happens in that area for the rest of your life. I guess I don't like to commit to permanent shit when who really damn knows what the future holds and I don't see anything wrong with that.

 
Anyway. I guess I'm done fussing. Well - aside from the fact that I am SUPPOSED to get free / cheap birth control from the good old USofA, but I just went and spent $175 - yep, you read that right - out of my own damn pocket to get something safe and that wouldn't screw with my moods. If the Caya works out it's good for 2 years and the Omniflex is good for... I don't know? Forever, maybe? It's made of silicon. I'll be sure to read the instructions that come with it so I know for sure. I guess that as long as one works out it wasn't a total waste. But free would have OBVIOUSLY been better.

Apparently barrier methods of birth control are not popular in the U.S. anymore...

Meh.  Apparently barrier methods of birth control are not popular in the U.S. anymore and are REALLY hard to get.  I might order some products from another country.  They deserve my money if they are gonna be that forward-thinking.  This shit is REDONK.  Not every person with a womb feels like being pumped full of chemicals all the time.  And where's the man birth control, for that matter?  Something besides lousy ass condoms and permanent methods?  There should really be a middle ground.

Internet, help me.

Internet, help me. I can't find anywhere to fill my diaphragm prescription. 🙁 I will do some Googling when I get home, but I am hoping that some of my friends will have some info for me.

My mood isn't horrible today.

My mood isn't horrible today.  I am not opposed to going to work or doing things, though I am not super motivated.  My guts are a little sore - worse than yesterday.  I'm still tired, too, but I think I'll give "having a regular day" a shot.  I didn't have a single one of those last week.  😕

Nappy has a bath appointment at Piper's today at 10.  Guess I'd better get moving.