I got my Cal test scores back sooner than I thought!

I got my Cal test scores back sooner than I thought!

Aced the take-home test with a 97.  Woo!

On the re-take of test 5 I made a 90 (up from an 80 before, so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!)

On the new test that I felt so great about, I made a freaking 90.  🙁  I felt like "mid-90's +" good on that one, so that's a bit of a disappointment.  I am not sure what happened there, but I will find out tomorrow.

Anyway.  I guess I'm happy overall that they were A's.  My average in the class is still a low A.  Boo for that.  Maybe I can pull it up.

That time you run out of cat food...

That time you run out of cat food the evening before, so the cats conspire overnight to kill you and eat you in the morning by having the biggest, fattest one lay on your feet and nom your toes when you've just woken up and are groggy, while the rest help by herding up and not letting you walk if you do get away from him and also by gently nomming you to death.

Descended from tigers and lions, they are. 😂

They have now been fed.  I didn't dare come home from dropping Shadow off at school without stopping to get them food first.  Point taken, mighty beasts. 😂😂😂

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. The wind at the Gadsden campus is blowing so hard that it's taking my breath away. 😳 It's sprinkling, too.

On a brighter note, I don't feel too bad about any of the 3 Calculus tests that I handed in today. Hopefully, I will know my grades on Wednesday.

Now, to make it home...

My brain has Calculus-ed all day. I'm all thought out. 😳

My brain has Calculus-ed all day.  I'm all thought out.  😳

Just waiting for my kid to finish showering so I can do the same.  SO calling it a night soon.

Back to the grind tomorrow.  Woo.  😕

A couple of weeks of part-time work and 9 pages later...

A couple of weeks of part-time work and 9 pages later and I have finally completed the 10... YES, 10, questions that were on my Cal I take-home test.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed...

Last night as I was getting ready for bed I walked into the corner of one of my end tables with my thigh.  It hurt SO BAD.  It is now swollen and I have a big blue / black bruise.  It hurts to sleep on that side, but I also have a bruise on the arm on the opposite side, so just... dang, man.

I got up 3 different times this morning to go Black Friday shopping - ON THE INTERNET!  FOR NAIL POLISH!  LOL  I probably spent more than I should have, but some of them were gifts and honestly I work so dang hard that I just wanted to treat myself.  I scored some stuff that I'm super excited about.  I can't wait until it gets here!

I feel like I'm behind on my whole life right now.  Met up with some guys from Calculus this morning and one guy checked my work - looked correct to him, too.  I guess the downside to having a test that I can bring home is that I can obsess over it until I am crazy.  😕

Anyway, I am off to work on more Calculus.  I have a headache and I'm tired.  REALLY not feeling 100% right now, but I feel like I haven't accomplished nearly enough this week.  I'm starting to freak out and I know the added pressure and stress isn't going to make me feel any better.  The best thing I can do is work on it.  Blegh.

I hope you all are doing well.  Have a great night if I don't pop back in before morning.  ❤

It was a pretty good day.

It was a pretty good day.  Felt like Thanksgiving rather than a birthday, but that's ok.  That is just par for the course with a late November birthday.  I'm always up for food that isn't straight from the microwave (because that's how I roll), so home-cooking makes me happy!  Seeing all the family was great.  I don't have enough free time for now to be as connected as I'd like, unfortunately.

Other than that I'm glad to be home. I feel like we were running all day.  I'm exhausted, but I'm working on my Calculus take-home test until my brain craps out.  LOL

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving!  ❤

Guess which girl is feeling better about Calculus.

Guess which girl is feeling better about Calculus. THIS ONE. 😃

Look at my graph. According to this, my points of inflection are where they should be. WOOHOO!

Finally, a nail pic! 😃

Finally, a nail pic! 😃

I don't normally take nail pics in full sunshine, but these polishes were far too pretty for anything less. I'm time-crunchy right now, so I will edit this later and add what I used, but for now, just know that I was going for a forest-y, mysterious, magical, woodsy kind of feel. Nothing in particular, although the words on my thumb might be from a book (says Shaun. I don't know.)

Yesterday was pretty good. 🙂

Yesterday was pretty good.  🙂

When I woke up I got a chunk of my Calculus work done.  Can I just say that Sigma Notation is rocking my face off?  It's BEAUTIFUL.

After that I had a tasty lunch with Shaun and his parents.  Then went to work for a while.  After that, helped a friend in math.

I feel really embarrassed to admit that at this point I have been stumped twice by basic algebra.  🙁  Apparently, I am now in the habit of OVER thinking math and making things more complicated than they need to be.  Maybe it's just where my brain is due to Cal, but I hope it doesn't last forever.  I don't want to be an educated person who can't see the simpler solutions that are out there.  😕  I was all geared up to teach my dad some Trig the other day when all he really needed was the Pythagorean Theorem.

ANYWAY after I got home we had Taco Bell and then I watched TV with Shaun FOR HOURS and guess what else...  I FINALLY DID MY FREAKING NAILS!  Yay for me time!  I've been wearing plain polish over the last few weeks because I've been bad... that's a whole 'nother post... but no nail art UNTIL NOW.  I will DEFINITELY  get some photos today because I am psyched.  😃

Well, I guess I'm going to get ready for work.  I've got another busy day ahead!  Happy Wednesday, friends!  ❤

I am finally done with my Psychology project!

I am finally done with my Psychology project!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*does happy dance*

Now I get to spend the rest of the week on my Calculus take-home test, getting ready for the next Calculus test, and getting my notes ready for the test after that.

And maybe I'll even get to rest a day!  😃  (Perhaps on my BIRTHDAY?!  [aka:  Thanksgiving])

I am so dang happy that I've FINALLY completed a thing.  I have been working SO HARD.  RIDICULOUSLY hard.  It has been awful.  LOL

Thank you to everyone who participated in my Psych study.  I know that I probably failed to get back to some of you, but I got wayyy more of a response to that post than I imagined I would.  The people who I sent questions to mostly got them back to me really fast, so I just used the first ones in.  Sorry if anyone feels neglected.  I was so absorbed in getting it done that I lost focus on everything else.  Maybe the rest of the week won't be so hard.  We'll see.  🙂

Hey friends. To anyone I've ignored recently I am sorry.

Hey friends.  To anyone I've ignored recently I am sorry.  If you can take comfort in the fact that you are not the only one, so it is not personal.  I've got a lot on my plate, as usual.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm drowning in school work, even though classes don't meet this week.

I had been planning to use this week off to complete some projects, but I feel like I'm never getting enough done.  The pressure is on.  I've been ignoring messages because I just can't let myself be distracted.

I know that several of you are going through some major things.  I pop in and check on you, even if I don't say much or anything at all.  Just know that you are in my thoughts and you are not alone.  Shaun's mom isn't doing too well, and my dad recently experienced another pet-related trauma, so things are definitely not all roses and sunshine over here, either.

Everyone hang in there.  That is all I got.  We'll be hanging with you.  ❤

Math seriously gives me the feels.

Math seriously gives me the feels.  One reason it's my major.  ❤

Old pencil. New pencil!

Old pencil. New pencil!

The grip on the new one is better, but we'll see if it holds up over the next hour. I have Calculus homework to do!

Y'all. Finals are less than a month away. 😳

Y'all.  Finals are less than a month away.  😳  I can't believe this semester is almost over!

So far I have a 100 in Health, a 96 in Psychology, and a 93 in Calculus. If I can hang on to my A's, that would kick my GPA up from 3.592 to 3.655.  (I went for a semester in 2001, fresh out of high school.  Didn't know how to drop a class, made a D.  It's haunted me ever since.)

Needless to say I would be ECSTATIC to not be touching 3.5 anymore.  I've been trying to rise above that since I started back in 2015.  Anything below a 3.5 isn't eligible for the Presidential Scholarship at JSU.  I've been eligible for a while, but dang.  I don't like cutting it so close.

Anyway.  I'm off to call Tech Support about my printer, then hopefully get through some Calculus this morning.  A 93 is a little lower than I'm comfortable with.  That needs some work! 

Later, friends.  ❤

When you unknowingly put a thermal polish on your nails...

When you unknowingly put a thermal polish on your nails and wonder why it's drying into a gradient...

But then you feel excited because ZERO-EFFORT GRADIENT!!!

Ok, I need volunteers for a psychology project.

Ok, I need volunteers for a psychology project.  Does anyone have a baby (like a year old or less) and a child between 7 - 10 years old that I can ask questions to / about?  I believe I have all of the other ages covered.

No names can be used in my final portfolio, so your privacy is protected.  I'm not making evaluations, but I am supposed to find out how closely a real person measures up to the life stages of our book.

I had big plans to be productive this weekend.

I had big plans to be productive this weekend.  It didn't happen, but it wasn't all bad - thank goodness.

Saturday I spent most of the day nauseated, tired, and having brain fog - yay meds.  But I also spent it on the couch watching funny stuff with Shaun, so that was nice.

Today I tried to work on my psychology project, but my printer wouldn't print.  After hours of troubleshooting and getting nowhere I took a dang nap.  Nothing like a medication / frustration combo to wear you out.

Then I ordered pizza.  Picked Shadow up and my food.  Got it free because the card reader wasn't working.  No complaints there!  Got home, watched TV, and ate with the kiddo, and snuggled a tortoise FOR 2 HOURS.  Now here I am.  LOL

I'm about to shower and call it a night.  Tomorrow is a long day.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend.  🙂❤

Wanna paint these toenails so bad! 😂

Wanna paint these toenails so bad! 😂

Worse than a cat.

Worse than a cat. This thing is never still until he's in a lap. Then you hate to move him. 😂

Shaun just made me super happy. 😀😀😀

Shaun just made me super happy. 😀😀😀

He gave me my birthday present 12 days early. It was this box of nail polish, poop, and salt that I wanted REALLY bad. 😂

Talking Tortie. He does this all the time!

Talking Tortie. He does this all the time!

This child. 😂😂😂

This child. 😂😂😂

He was out walking and Shaun put his foot on the floor to block his path so he wouldn't go under the couch. He decided to park and sit next to his leg for a few. Since the dogs won't have anything to do with him, we decided to hold him.

Apparently, he wants to be a lap tortoise. He is all about soft blankets, laps, and getting his head / neck rubbed right now. What a doll. 😍

Too bad Tort Baby is already preparing for winter. He's sleeping a lot these days. I miss him. ❤️

While I was looking for the non-existent eraser refills for my favorite pencils...

While I was looking for the non-existent eraser refills for my favorite pencils that I have been using basically since starting college, I found another kind of pencil that looked like something I'd like.  But they only had the color I wanted with the size of lead that I didn't want, so I did not buy it.

Instead, I went on Amazon.  (And yes, I tried there for the eraser refills first - no luck).  They didn't have the color / lead size combo that I was looking for at Office Max, BUT, that's ok.  I discovered that the pencil that caught my eye at Office Max is the updated version of my favorite pencil from HIGH SCHOOL.  😳  I just didn't recognize it until I saw it in the same colors as I had back in the day.

Needless to say, I ordered a pack.  I am so excited for them to get here.  😃  I can't wait to put them side by side and look at them.  Also, I am really curious to know if the updated grip will be easier on my fingers.  If it is it might go back to being my #1.  I know - I'm weird and picky and easily amused.  Get off me.  I take my joy where I can get it.  LOL

Booka is chewing a bone while Nom admires him.

Booka is chewing a bone while Nom admires him. LOL This is one of the rare peaceful moments when he's not chasing him around, making a croaking noise. I've read that it's a mating thing. The cat loves Boo, too. Being popular seems hard. Poor pup can't get a minute of peace.

The guys went to an event at JSU after I got home early from class.

The guys went to an event at JSU after I got home early from class.  I sat on the couch curled up with my Cal notes.  I got all the way through going over / re-writing my notes with all of my explanations, etc., neat and in order, so that's not nothing because we have done a TON in class recently.  I have plenty more work to do, but that was good for one evening.

I have been really dragging lately - not only physically, but emotionally.  I'm still taking Celexa, but I think I'm just going through some things.  Some days I feel so accomplished, but others all I can see how far I have left to go.  Life feels very overwhelming these days.  It's been a rough year through and through, but recently my health is not cooperating and it just feels like too much.  That doesn't even count the outside stress that is pressing in.

Anyway.  I think my goal for the next few weeks is going to be making sure I get enough water, walking, and sleep.  And on that note - I'm going to bed.  Finally, a chore I can look forward to.  😛

Was in Cal class for all of 10 minutes when...

Was in Cal class for all of 10 minutes when they cut the power on us and kicked us out. I feel like crap, anyway. Guess I'm heading home. Freed up some time to study. No complaints there.

I am home from work.

I am home from work.  I feel like I've been physically beaten.  You know the ache you get when you have the flu?  That ache is with me.  I can't shake it.

I have felt bad for the last couple of weeks, but I thought it was my PsA flaring, PMS, methotrexate getting to me, or whatever.  Blood work turned up a kidney infection that I didn't know I had.  When you're hurting and you assume that you're supposed to for whatever reason I guess it's not a red flag anymore.

I've already finished my round of antibiotics.  My back eased up for a day or so, but it's hurting again and my neck glands are swollen and I'm just tired... and then there is that lovely ache, too.  I have class this evening and I'm not going to miss it, but dang - I would really rather be going to sleep.

I'm not TECHNICALLY behind on anything, but I didn't do as much schoolwork as I'd planned to over the weekend and this junk is stressing me out.  I've been dragging and unproductive for days.  I really need to get myself together, somehow.  I don't know what to do.

I'm at Captain D's eating lunch alone.

I'm at Captain D's eating lunch alone. There are 5 other alone-eaters here, but I'm not in the mood to make friends today.

Totally voted.

Totally voted.  Only wished I'd relished it more.  I was wayyy too excited to do that, though.  😃

Classes today went well. Tutoring went well, also.

Classes today went well.  Tutoring went well, also.

Now, it's migraine time.  😕

I guess a whole day that didn't suck was too much to ask of a Monday.

I'm off.  I have to go and deal with myself.  I hope that Monday went easy on y'all.  ❤

I did my nails. Nothing fancy, but I'll probably post a picture tomorrow.

I did my nails.  Nothing fancy, but I'll probably post a picture tomorrow.  This is a case where I just put on a stunning polish and let her do the work.  As much time as I wasted cleaning up my dusty, neglected nail table in preparation to actually DO something I COULD have done something fancy, but oh well.  Maybe that just means that I shouldn't go a month + without doing my nails.  LOL

I also did some psychology.  We're taking our 3rd test this week and then all that is left is turning in the project, and the final.  😳  I feel like the end of this semester has snuck up on me.  Not that I'm complaining.  I'm enjoying it, but I'm also anxious to keep making progress.

Anyway.  I'm off to talk to a friend (it's been WAYYY too long!) and then hopefully I still feel up for some Calculus.

In case I don't come back:  Goodnight, friends.  I gotta rest up for the Monday.  😕

My "To Do" list for the day:

My "To Do" list for the day:

Calculus 

Psychology project

Nails? 

I REALLY REALLY want to paint my nails. I might do that first. I don't HAVE to get crazy with it. But they are finally growing back and they are going to start breaking off if I don't give them some reinforcement. It would probably make me happy all week if I did them. I probably should. I've been struggling lately.

Guess that's settled.

I feel weird.

I feel weird.

Since yesterday, I have done a few things:

1)  Applied for graduation from Gadsden State

2)  Set up my JSU Blackboard

3)  Accessed "myJSU" and my student email

It all feels so premature since graduation is still 7 months away and actually attending JSU is even farther out, but as busy as I'm staying I'm sure the time will pass before I know it.

Honestly, my mind is blown.  I never actually pictured myself going to REAL college, so graduating from GSCC is like "Whoa.  😳"  Going to JSU still feels unreal.  Unfortunately, I kind of thought that graduating from Gadsden Business College was going to be the height of my achievement, but I guess not!

I gotta tell y'all, mental blocks and some weird kind of identity crisis have been the biggest challenges I've faced since starting school.  I don't believe in fate, but truly I still haven't totally shaken the ideas that "This isn't meant for me." and "My life will never be easier."  I don't know why or how to fix that.

It probably doesn't help that I'm in the thick of it right now and have a few more years of hard work ahead of me, but I keep pushing through because I'm constantly being confronted by the things I desperately want to change about my life.  And to be perfectly frank, curiosity is driving me as well.  I just want to see what happens when I'm done.

It's hard to even explain, but I guess growing up kind of poor and then having Shadow at 17 I felt that my fate to live in poverty was sealed.  And for most of these years it was.  There were a few years (maybe 2 or 3) where I made enough money that I wasn't eligible for food stamps, but that's the best I've ever done.

I've still never even made $20,000 in a single year and I don't get child support or welfare, but somehow we've managed to scrape by.  I mean - I felt like I'd conquered the world when I bought my house (with a mortgage, obviously) at 24 years old.  I really thought I topped out right there - at the point in life where I was going to struggle to make a mortgage payment for the next 30 years.

I don't know.  I wish I could find all the words I need to express how strange this all is to me.  Slowly but surely I'm starting to see myself having an actual career and not living paycheck to paycheck.  It's bizarre to feel that maybe I CAN have an active role in how my future turns out.  It still feels scary to think that one day I might be a "success" financially.  (To me, that would be paying off my house and being able to afford a car that doesn't break and having enough money left to help some animals.  LOL)

I know I've dropped off the map to a lot of my friends and I apologize for that.  I know I've stopped helping animals and friends alike and I apologize for that, as well.  I really appreciate all of you who have understood my struggle and who have stuck by me through this and most of all, any of you who have encouraged me along the way.  Many days I still feel like a secure future is just a dream, but some days - like today - I can see how much closer I am to making it come true.  It honestly. blows. my mind.  😳

I just got home from a field trip to JSU.

I just got home from a field trip to JSU.

Wow.

First of all - it's wayyy larger than I even knew.  😳  But that's ok because from what I'm told all or at least most of my classes will be in one building.  And now I know where that building is.  😃

Secondly, the perks.  I knew that students got in free to home games, but I didn't know they had a gym and a pool that was free for students to use.  I don't feel it's likely I would do any of that, but it's really nice to have the option.  😜

Third, there is food everywhere.  LOL  At least I know that I'm not likely to starve while attending classes there.

Overall, I feel a lot better about transferring.  It doesn't seem THAT overwhelming anymore.  I'm sure it will take me some time to settle in and get used to things, but that will be next year, so I'm not going to stress about it right now.

It was a great day for a campus visit.  The weather was beautiful and I definitely got my exercise in.  Also, I can never complain about free food from the cafeteria.  😃

I'm beyond exhausted. I think the methotrexate is getting to me.

I'm beyond exhausted. I think the methotrexate is getting to me. My skin and bones are slowly but surely chilling out. In exchange I get fatigue, and nausea that wakes me up at 5 am. Woo.

In more upbeat news I talked to Ms. Wheeler today and feel pretty confident that I'm going to major in math. I was scared about some things, but she assured me that I could do it. I know that I'm getting close to halfway done with college, but I still doubt myself a lot. 😕

In other good news:  Shadow will have the Herbst appliance removed from his braces in December. Then hopefully by June or July he will go ahead and be able to have his braces removed entirely. I know he can't wait. I'm super excited to see how he'll look without them.

Anyway. I can't believe it's only Tuesday. I hope you all are doing better than I am. I need another weekend!