My GPA according to JSU....

My GPA according to JSU. THE INTRO TO TECH MATH D FROM 2001 DOESN'T TRANSFER! I am so beyond happy and excited right now. 😀😀😀 And relieved!

I'm glad I'm out of school this week.

I'm glad I'm out of school this week.  I haven't been able to register for classes at JSU despite meeting with an adviser and being cleared for registration so I went up to the school today.  Turns out that they had me registered as a transient student (though I've never taken classes there) - not a transfer student - and that was messing up everything.  I had to re-apply for Fall semester and I was told that things should be straightened out towards the end of this week.

I also got some bad news.  I may not be getting the Presidential Scholarship that I have worked so hard for.  🙁  I talked to someone who told me that the funding for scholarships might be cut and that they are currently looking at giving out that scholarship based on GPA - starting with the 4.0 students and working down to the 3.5s.  I only have a 3.656 (because of a D I got in 2001 - back when I didn't know how to drop a class), so I've worked damn hard to drag it back up and that is very disheartening.

Anyway, I'm trying not to get too down in the dumps over it just yet (until I know something for sure), but DANG.  I was really counting on that.  Student loans are still an option, but I will do that as a last resort.  I really don't want to graduate college closing in on 40 years old with a giant tuition debt.  🙁

Marry Me Blu

I've been trying for almost 2 weeks to get good pictures / videos of my proposal polishes.  I have been failing, but I did finally get a wheel to swatch them on and since Shaun has a better camera and bigger hands for wheel-spinning I tasked him with making the video.  This is how the polishes look in outdoor lighting.  I'm going to try to get one more of them this week in indoor lighting because they are beautiful both ways.

Shaun worked with Lindsey, the magic-maker behind Tonic Nail Polish to come up with this.  His goal was to make a custom color for me that was a brown / olive green shifter.  "Marry Me Blu" was THE ONE, but the other prototypes turned out so beautiful that he asked to name them and buy them as a collection so that is what this is.

So without further delay - here is the Delta X Collection, given to me on 3.14.  The names of the polishes are math puns since I really dig math (despite my struggles this semester).

1:  Marry Me Blu 

2:  Trapezoidal Pool (Trapezoidal Rule)

3:  Convergent Seabreeze (Convergent Series)

4:  Functional Ambivalence (Functional Equivalence)

5:  Divinely Integral (Definite Integral)

6:  No Name (free prototype)

7:  Partial to Derivatives (Partial Derivative)

8:  Tangent Pine (Tangent Line)

9:  Differential Elation (Differential Equation)

Spring Break "dragon, stress-acne, psoriasis face, messy gray hair" selfie.

Spring Break "dragon, stress-acne, psoriasis face, messy gray hair" selfie. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than chilling with my guys and my ani-pals. I think us girls are about to get our nails done! 😃

Kiddos!

Jasmyine Hill:  I got to hang with the cool kids tonight. Pretty sure they were just using me for my uke, but I'm totally okay with that.

Making up for months and months worth...

Making up for months and months worth of lost time doing housework.  I think this is the most therapeutic thing I've done for myself in a while.  No real brain-work required, I'm up and moving, and of course I feel tons better when things are in order and clean.

Also, I just saw the cutest thing.  BooBear is napping in the floor.  Nom usually chases him, but this time he just watched him sleep for a few minutes and then went about his business.  I swear he loves him so much.  If only Boo liked him back!  😂😂😂

Anyway, I'm off.  Just had to take a breather and stopped to see what was going on in Internet land.  ❤

Snakey snuggles. ❤️😃❤️

Snakey snuggles. ❤️😃❤️

I swear this is one of the most chill animals who lives here, but most people won't give him a chance. He is a good boy, though, and we love him. 😍

I'm about to power through some Physics homework...

I'm about to power through some Physics homework so I can get that out of the way.  Then hopefully over spring break I can save my brain to catch up in Calculus.

Today in Cal class the teacher told us we could retake a test with the next one.  But the class before that test, we can retake 1 - 3 tests.  That's amazing because I have a 29, a 58, and an 84 that I'm not happy with!  (The one I made an 84 on I'm just ill with it because I know I can ace it.)

I actually felt ok with the new material today so that's a relief.  I'm sure it's going to get worse by test day, but my plan is to stay on top of it.  So I need to find out where I've been going wrong in a couple of places, and then hopefully I will be ok.

Anyway, it looks like spring break won't be a total break, but I think I will still benefit from a lighter load.  And with that, I'm off!  Later, friends!  ❤

I don't understand life right now.

I don't understand life right now. I'm doing better in Physics than Calculus. 😂😂😂😱😱😱😲😲😲

I made a 29 on the last Calculus test - which I pretty well expected. I looked at it, did the two questions I could, then saw the rest and said "I can't do this." Literally, my brain was like "Nahhh." I turned it in and studied for the retake of the previous test. I only managed to bring the 58 on that one up to a 63. 😞

I honestly think that I am mentally exhausted. I'm hoping that spring break will refresh me. I still have time to bring those grades up before the end of the semester, thank goodness. I will just need to be on top of my game when classes resume. 

Anyway, I'm heading to class. This week is almost over, thank goodness!

I got the nicest surprise in the mail today!

I got the nicest surprise in the mail today! Sent to me from some friends up north. I absolutely love it! Y'all sure know how to make a girl's day. Thank you so so much! ❤️❤️❤️😀😀😀

I just failed a Calculus test.

I just failed a Calculus test.  HARD.  I think I answered 2 questions.  I need spring break for real.  🙁  I am beyond mentally exhausted.

This is what I'm doing...

This is what I'm doing (Internetting) instead of what I should be doing.

One more week until spring break.  I think I can, I think I can...

I legit do not want to do anymore Calculus. 🙁

I legit do not want to do anymore Calculus. 🙁

Ok, throwing it out there again:

Ok, throwing it out there again:  Anyone in need of small-ish (jewelry and / or nail-polish sized) bubble wrap?  I hate to throw anything away and I'm not sure if it's recycle-able so I would love for someone to get some use out of it.  Free to a good home!

I must have some sliver of confidence...

I must have some sliver of confidence tucked away somewhere that I'm going to survive this semester, because I just registered for Cal III and Physics II for the summer.

Look...

Look...

I know you all got excited about my nail polish.  I did, too. I mean, who DOESN'T love a good nail polish?  😛

But people keep asking me about wedding stuff and all I can is say is this:

He asked me to marry him and I said yes.  He did not ask me to have a wedding with him.  I'm not entirely sure I would have agreed to that.  It's a conversation for another day.

As someone who abhors "dressing up," is not a fan of "ceremony," and dislikes "tradition," I can't imagine why anyone would think I'd want to go through that.  As things stand right now we don't know what we're doing, but we have plenty of time to figure it out.  Y'all need to CALM DOWN.  😛  I'm an open book.  As soon as I know anything I'm sure it'll be posted here for all to see.

I love y'all.  Thank you for all the congratulations.   Don't forget to congratulate him, too.  I did say yes, after all.  😉😛😃

❤

I can't believe...

I can't believe I'm wishing my child a happy birthday for the SEVENTEENTH time, but Shadow:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY - for the SEVENTEETH TIME!  😂😂😂

I tell you all the time how much I like you and I love you, but I really want you to know that I'm so proud of the awesome person you are growing into.  You're kind, you're funny, and you're open-minded.  You're good-looking and you're talented.  You're responsible and you're nice.  I really don't know how I got so lucky to get such an amazing kid, but I'm thankful for you every day.  You continue to be the best surprise of my life and I wouldn't change a thing.  ❤❤❤

My Favorite Nail Polish EVER

Shaun had a custom polish made for me. A whole collection, actually, but this is my favorite. 😃❤️

Peep that polish name...

Edited to add:

Y'all... OF COURSE I said yes.  We've been together for almost 9 years because we like each other a little bit.  😛

Wedding stuff isn't really my jam.  I don't have time to think about it right now, anyway.  I've gotta finish school for financial aid reasons first so it'll be a couple of years yet.  We do everything in our own time and in our own way, so no rush.  🙂

𝝿𝝿𝝿𝝿𝝿

Apparently, this has been in the works since January. There is a whole collection of polishes because he had a hard time choosing just one and he knew I'd want them all. 😂 Two of my very favorite colors are brown and olive green, so "Marry Me Blu" shifts between those two colors. It's PERFECT.

Today was a regular day. I had just gotten out of class and he had just gotten off work. We were getting ready to go to be adults and buy groceries and I was sitting in my desk chair getting my list together. He came in, was squatted down checking on Bruce, then turned around and said something like "How'd this get in the floor?" and handed a polish to me. I knew I had not lost a polish so I looked at the name. I know my eyes got huge and I was like "Are you really asking me?" and he was like "Yeah" so I was like "Fucking yeah, then!" 😂 We are so romantic. Then he gave me the rest of the collection.

This was super great. He's amazing and creative and supportive and thoughtful and I love him. We're nerds. He named the rest of the polish collection with math names because I like that. Here's to 9 years in, plus many more! ❤

Shaun just asked me how class was going...

Shaun just asked me how class was going. Well... this is notes for ONE problem.

My boy. And you can see his face this time.

My boy. And you can see his face this time. ❤️❤️❤️

Took me a minute to understand the rhythm of this song, but that's the fault of The Weeknd. 😂 

Everything I've heard him sing a capella - I've liked more than the original. But I might be biased. 😉

Would anyone local like some bubble wrap?

Would anyone local like some bubble wrap?  It's mostly in smaller pieces (so you could wrap jewelry, or, um, nail polish in it).  I was saving it for when I had my Etsy store open, but I have wayyy more than I need and I hate to throw it out.  This is one of the rare times you will hear me say this ever, but it is free to a good home.  😛

I'm trying to regulate today, but I'm failing.

I'm trying to regulate today, but I'm failing.  This past week my diet has been HORRIBLE.  I just ate a Zebra Cake for breakfast so you can see how well I'm doing at getting on track.  I've got a headache and a million things to do.  I'm trying not to let it paralyze me, though.  Is it just me or does anyone else feel worse the day or two after you're coming down from major stress?

When we left last night Shaun's dad seemed ok, considering.  I think he was probably exhausted.  Shaun has a giant family so the house was packed most of the day.  There was tons of food.  His dad definitely will not starve.  He did give us a scare at the funeral - he kept taking these little pills for his heart.  The max he was allowed was 3 and he was supposed to go to the hospital if he took that many.  Well, he took that many, but of course he didn't want to leave so some nurses in the family made him sit down and calm down and cool off.  Thankfully, that worked.

It was really nice to see some of the family from out of state, but I wish it had been under better circumstances.  All in all, though, I'm ready to get back to normal.  If I can get through the next couple of weeks I'll have spring break so I can REALLY rest up for trying to finish out this semester.

And with that, I'm off.  I have plenty to do between this messy house and all the homework and studying I have to do.  Be well, everyone.  ❤

Flowers from her grave.

Flowers from her grave. Yellow was her favorite color. 💛💛💛

I'm sitting here on the couch wishing that I was a tortoise...

I don't know if it's just utter exhaustion speaking or what, but I'm having one of those days where I feel like I can't do anything right.  I'm full of doubts today.

I woke up this morning having no idea what day or time it was - and therefore, no idea what I was supposed to be doing.  I'm so sad that I have straight up failed two Calculus tests.  My average in the class is a 91 as of right now, but that doesn't give me a lot of wiggle room for when we get to the final if I want to keep my A.  I'm gonna have to step it up a notch in there.

I'm also really sad that I couldn't figure out how to complete my programming assignment that was due at midnight.  I turned in what I had, but I felt like a failure.

Physics is just hard, but I feel that compared to the rest of the class I am holding my own.  I think most of us struggle and fail the tests so I take solace in the fact that it's not just me.

As bad as I feel like I'm doing it makes me wonder if I'm cut out for this kind of stuff.  If I think logically about it - then yeah, I'm probably going to be ok.  I'm trying hard not to base my performance in programming (even though I have an A in there, too) on the fact that it takes me time to figure things out or that sometimes I'm stumped.  HTML used to look scary, but just from years of dabbling and playing in it I know I can do some things if I really try - and a lot of it I just know out of my head.  So I'm trying to look at this class like an overview or exposure to it and not as though it's supposed to make me an expert.  I'm guessing that is why CS majors get better pay once they get some experience under their belts.

Anyway.  I'm sitting here on the couch wishing that I was a tortoise and that someone would just throw a blanket over me and turn out the light.  😂  I don't want to walk to my bed, or turn off the light, or clean my litter boxes, or load my dishwasher, or do anything but sleep.  I haven't yet decided if I'm going to be good or not, but we'll see.

I hope you all have a good night.  ❤

I came to the library...

I came to the library to work on a Python assignment between classes, but Python isn't installed here and I need an admin password to do it.  I don't see the library person, so... here I am.  I guess I will do my internet socializing now and my assignment when I get home.

I have grade updates.  I made an 84 on the re-take of the Calculus test I failed.  It's not great, but I can live with that.  Despite feeling great about the new test I made a 58 somehow.  I don't feel so great about that.  🙁  I also failed my Physics test.  I made a 45.  If I perfectly do the one problem he lets us fix I can make a 58, which is almost not failing.  Unfortunately, almost doesn't count.  🙁

This semester is legit beating me down, but I'm hanging in there.  Taking the extra day off of work has allowed me to regulate my stress levels and stay on top of things a little better (believe it or not with the grades I'm making).  All I can really say is that my classes are hard and I'm trying.

There is other news and I feel that it is Shaun's to tell, but I have a big mouth.  His mom passed away yesterday morning.  She had been battling cancer for a long time and honestly (I don't mean to sound callous), I am relieved for her sake because she looked utterly miserable the last few times I saw her.  I hate seeing anyone suffer.  Shaun is holding up ok, but his dad is not.  The rest of this week is going to be tough, but we'll get through it together.

Anyway.  For better or worse, that is what's going on in our lives.  Be well, friends.  ❤

When the answers to your problems look like this:

When the answers to your problems look like this:

5/16ln |16x^2+121| + 9/44 arctan 4x/11 + C

You know it's getting real.  😳

I'm awake early.

I'm awake early.  I got a whopping 4 hours of sleep, but I slept REALLY late yesterday so maybe that's ok.  I guess we'll see.

I think I'm up due in part to a tension headache starting, but maybe Ibuprofen will be my savior.  It could also be that maybe I haven't had enough water lately so I'm downing a bottle now.  One way or the other - I'm trying not to start this week off on the wrong foot.

I guess since I'm awake I will use this time to study Calculus.  I was starting to feel ok about it last night so hopefully I will do well on the two tests today.

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to spring break.  This is honestly the hardest semester of my life so far.  I need a break during it, for real.

Happy Monday, friends.  ❤

My bottle of Cyber Punk is here and she's gorgeous. 😍😍😍

My bottle of Cyber Punk is here and she's gorgeous. 😍😍😍

I've been waiting since January for her arrival. WORTH IT.

If you can't tell what color she is, that's ok. She's every color. More than a holographic, more than a multichrome. I love her so much I want to tape the bottle to my chest and wear her that way. 😂😂😂

I know that I've been so involved with school, but I've kept an eye on my second love, nail polish. Polish is easier than animals because once they get here, they don't require upkeep. LOL

I woke up late and was pretty tired most of the day...

I woke up late and was pretty tired most of the day - thanks to the Excedrin keeping me up until 4 this morning.  But, today overall hasn't been bad.  I actually felt pretty good by about 5 this evening.  Went to class and had another robot lab.  I won't bore you with another video.  😂

I did some Physics pre-lectures and checkpoints when I got home and have started on my Python vocabulary.  I have two assignments to do, but I'm crashing hard and they aren't due until next week so they will wait.  I'm about to take my Methotrexate and get ready for tomorrow.  Hoping I can kick the brain fog in time to study for Calculus this weekend.

We've almost made it, y'all.  Friday is on the way!  ❤

Well, I'm sure I failed that Physics test...

Well, I'm sure I failed that Physics test, but that seems about right for the class.  😂😂😂😭😭😭  I'm going to try not to freak out.

For now I have tons of Calculus to study plus some Programming homework to do.  I only wish I didn't have such a terrible headache.  I have been less stressed this week, but my head doesn't seem to want to give me a break.  For three days in a row I've felt like I was heading into migraine territory.  🙁  I don't know what is wrong.