I'm spending my last night at home for a while.

I'm spending my last night at home for a while. It's so hard to leave; I've been a little bummed all day. But this will be my last stint in Cincy and then I'll be home for good. When I leave next, it will be bittersweet. I love my coworkers and I know that I will miss them. Ah, feelings.

Oh no!

Oh no! We've lost Harley again. Coincidentally, the couch is lumpy and trilling now.

If you didn't know...

If you didn't know, Bastian is Shaun's baby. He lets Shaun get away with the most ridiculous shit. Like this:

I'm in a proper cat pile and I'm thrilled.

I'm in a proper cat pile and I'm thrilled. I've missed these kids. ❤️

My favorite - a cuddle pile.

 My favorite - a cuddle pile. 

Cubba, Balthazar, Boyfriend, and Toebean.

Apparently, I made some of y'all worry with my travel plans.

Apparently, I made some of y'all worry with my travel plans.  I'm really sorry if that was the case.

I left Cincy on Wednesday - the day before the cold / snowy / windy weather hit.  At some point early in the trip I turned on location tracking and sent it to Shaun so he always knew where I was.  I hate talking on the phone when I'm driving and I don't text and drive, so that saved us both some frustration.  😂  I drove for about 12 hours and made it to Wichita, KS.  The weather was still fine, but it was dark and I was tired so I was done for the night.  Plus, I was in a city and the odds of finding somewhere to stay were high.  The plan was to NOT be stranded in the car since we knew the weather was coming overnight and the next morning, so Shaun booked me a room and sent me the address and I went there.

Shaun is the planner in the family; it's not me.  So he kept an eye on the weather reports and I chilled down in the hotel room because I needed the sleep and was getting a headache.  I woke up a few times in the night; the wind was strong and the snow was coming down.  In the morning when I woke up (Thursday) I went to talk to the front desk and they said that the roads had been treated, but the winds were bad.  Another traveler recommended staying another day, so I did.  I wasn't thrilled about staying, but it was the smart decision.

While there I got my frozen waters and surprisingly unfrozen Soylents out of the car.  I cranked the car to make sure it was ok and cleaned the snow off of the windows.  I was shocked to find out that even negative degree cold just feels cold.  Apparently that's part of the danger of it.  It took me a while to get the windows cleaned; I had a scraper, but that's it.  And I kept having to take breaks and sit inside the car because my fingers started tingling (even with my gloves on).

At some point on Thursday Shaun told me to call 511 and get the road reports.  That line was giving me too much information to process, but it said that was an app called "CanDrive."  I'm going to admit that it took me longer than I'd like for me to realize it was "KanDrive", but anyway I got it and it was helpful.  On Friday, the roads had been treated and there was a photo of them looking clear and the wind was no longer an issue, so I checked out of the hotel and got on my way.

The roads were totally fine - just snow and some abandoned / wrecked cars on the shoulders.  By another few hours out of Wichita it didn't even look like it had snowed.  The worst part of the trip was refilling the gas; the temperature (according to my car) stayed between 8 and 15°F  for most of my trip.  I don't think it hit the 20s until I got into TX.  Once I got closer to home it was back in the 40s (which probably wasn't even the high for the day since it was evening).

Anyway, I definitely wanted to come home to be with my family.  I did NOT want to fly after flying on Thanksgiving, and driving allowed me to move home the stuff I could live without in Cincy for a few weeks.  It made sense.  I'd already cancelled my flights before I knew about this weather, but Google kept giving me notifications about delayed flights.  That sounds worse than what driving (even with the weather) turned out to be.

For anyone who worried over me - I do apologize, but Shaun and I make a great team (even when we're not physically together) and we try to make good decisions. The way we had things planned, the worst case for me would have been more time in a hotel.  I let him know when I was starting to get tired of driving and he booked me a hotel room in the nearest city and sent me the coordinates.  I know that things don't always go as planned, but we are not big risk takers at all.  I will admit that traveling so much is new to me, but in general I'm pretty good at driving in straight lines, so it's all good.  😊

I'm home through the holidays!

I'm home through the holidays! Got one more training stint in Cincy after this and then I can come home for good.

Three hours from home...

Three hours from home, finally back in New Mexico. I had to pull over and get a picture and have a little cry. I don't know what it is about this place, but it soothes me. I feel so at peace the minute I cross state lines.

Can you see the Mesa in the distance? I fucking love it here. ❤️

Preheating the car...

Preheating the car and sharing my scarf so hopefully my travel companions will survive the trip home.

I'm warm and safe...

I'm warm and safe, but also bored and alone. I was really hoping I'd make it home today and I guess I'm bummed out that I didn't. Definitely better safe than sorry, for sure, but I've been away for so long already. It feels like a day wasted. All I've been doing is watching stupid TV and playing on my phone.

Maybe I'll get to leave tomorrow.

Staying another night at the hotel.

Staying another night at the hotel. The roads sound like they were tended to, but this wind is another story. Thankfully, it'll be stopped by much later today.

Current situation:  Thawing out my emergency waters (yes, I left them in the car - I was tired and safe at the hotel) and letting these succulents get a little bit of sun. They're from the office and a coworker gave them to me. Figured I'd take them home and get them settled in. I hope they survive the trip!

After getting COVID...

After getting COVID (most likely) from flying home and back at Thanksgiving (Atlanta - you nasty), I decided to drive instead of fly this trip. I figured it was smarter because I could at least bring back a good bit of stuff and make the next and final trip home easier (packing-wise).

I made great time yesterday and got more than halfway home...

But I woke up to a mess and an emergency alert here in Wichita, KS saying to delay travel. And I think I will. It's coming down out there, no doubt. 😬 And it's expected to be -2°F by noon. GROSS.

Edit:  It was down to - 5°F by 10:30 this morning. Wow.

The two kinds of holiday people summed up:

😂😂😂 The two kinds of holiday people summed up:

Yesterday, at 40 years old...

Yesterday, at 40 years old, I took my first birth control pill.

I don't know if it's the pills or the fact that my hormones are already a mess at the moment, but I have had a headache and nausea for last two days. It feels like a hormonal headache because none of my painkillers are touching it.

It's a terrible time for this nonsense because I should be packing and deciding what is going home with me this week and what goes the next time I come back. But all I've done is lay around because I feel so rough.

I have to talk about my job right now...

I have to talk about my job right now and this is likely to be a long post.  But if you are in any way considering moving into the tech space career-wise, then you really might want to read this.

This "conversation" is coming up because of a monthly team call that we had yesterday.  As you might infer, these do happen every month and are usually about an hour long.  They happen via Zoom and EVERYONE in the company is invited.  In these meetings, they go over how the company is doing, what it's goals are, promotions, work anniversaries, "GOAT" awards, shoutouts, etc.  And every time I attend one I leave it feeling SO. FUCKING. GRATEFUL.  Like with legit tears in my eyes.

Last night the call ended up being about 2 hours long.  It happened mid-month because most people are taking off for the holidays - not only because it's our slow time of the year, but because we deserve to be with our families (more on that in a moment).  The owner of the company is ALWAYS on the call and ALWAYS interacts.  He shows that he cares about us and is grateful for our hard work; we are NOT just numbers.  Last night, the number one goal he had for next year was "That you still love working at GlideFast."  Of course it is a business and there were number goals to hit, as well, but the culture comes first.  I'm still in my feelings about it, to be honest.

The meeting went long because they did some background for us.  Showed us where the company was 5 years ago and where it's headed now.  There were TONS of shoutouts and lots of appreciation shown to some people who really earned it.  They even shouted out the GCU managers (who are honestly amazing) and the whole class because we were promoted to Technical Consultants this year.  It makes me feel so welcome and seen and appreciated.  We also learned that our GlideFest adventure next year is in Las Vegas and I am EXCITED about that, holy shit.

I know that people say it's a red flag when companies say they're a family, but we're a family.  I don't care if I sound like I'm drinking the Kool-Aid - it's Kool-Aid I chose and I'm THIRSTY.  I love my company, I love everyone I've met, I love that I'm surrounded by curious, nerdy, hardworking, helpful people.  We don't want to meet expectations - we want to EXCEED them.  And I love that.  I live for that.

When GlideFast says they care about you and want you to be happy, it is sincere.  Besides great pay, 401k and health benefits, we also have Unlimited Paid Time Off.  I've felt guilty for asking for time off, but I have done it.  Listen to what I've been given:  A paid week off at Thanksgiving.  A paid week off when I had COVID.  And I'm getting 2 paid weeks off starting next week - because I asked for it.  That is 4 weeks (a whole MONTH!) of paid time off and I've been with the company since August; a whopping 4 months.

So yeah, I'm in Cincinnati for training for up to 2 more months - away from my family, friends, and pets, but I am well taken care of.  This is 100% worth it and I would choose it and chase it over and over and over again.  When I say my life changed when I got the call that I was hired, I was NOT kidding.  Not even a little.  When I said that this was the holy grail of jobs and I almost threw up when I heard I was hired, that was not a joke.  I'm like, in tears right now.  And every time we have those monthly team meetings I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

Technical Stuff for the Curious:

We work on a platform called ServiceNow.  If you are interested in learning about it there are tons of articles you can read, but you can also dig in and see if it interests you.  I would recommend following this link (https://nowlearning.servicenow.com/lxp?id=search&q=citizen%20developer) and trying out some of the free Citizen Developer courses.  If they interest you, keep going and see how you feel about a bit more advanced content.  I'm happy to answer questions to help steer you on where to go next, or put you in contact with our recruiters.  One of the other things you'd need is to be willing / able to learn a bit about computer programming.  We use JavaScript and there are tons of free tutorials on the web, but I highly recommend following through Chuck Tomasi's series because he shows how it's used on the ServiceNow platform. Link because I love you: https://youtu.be/nK1aPdGyGak

We have a new cohort starting in April, so... do with that what you will.

#LFG

Got to do the light tour this evening...

Got to do the light tour this evening. It was gorgeous out, but gusty.

If you watch the video, be warned that it's loud.

This is probably only interesting to like, myself, but...

This is probably only interesting to like, myself, but here is a "resume" generated by ServiceNow (the platform we use at work) that contains the badges and achievements and certifications I've earned. It reminds me of Xbox achievements and I like it. 😂😂😂

https://nowlearning.servicenow.com/lxp?id=nl_public&user=bluxenethos

I'm going to work!

It's a great day...

It's a great day to be working from home. /sarcasm A water main broke and no one in the apartment complex has water.

Just swabbed my brain again and I'm FINALLY testing negative. I'm going back to the office tomorrow! 😁

I'm not feeling 100% today.

I'm not feeling 100% today. Good thing I'm still working from the apartment.

Waking up early yesterday might have worked too well because I crashed out by 8 pm last night. I'm not usually so easily tired... except for when I have PMS. That tracks since I've been cramping for 2 days and I'm super bloated. My mood is also crappy today. I'm usually pretty chill, but today I'm grumpy and I just want to go home to my family.

I'm still testing positive for COVID so I can't go back to the office yet. The office Holiday Party is tonight and I really wanted to go, but I can't. It's at a museum and they are having some delicious food catered and I miss everyone. I'm bummed. And I just wanted to get that off my chest, I guess.

I hope you all are having a good day. This isn't my best day, but it's far from one of the worst so I'll take it. ❤️

Words I never thought I would say:

Words I never thought I would say:

I miss my routine.

When I had the 'Rona of course I slept a lot and tried to let my body heal. I didn't stick to any routine; I just did whatever made me the most comfortable in the moment.

I felt mostly better last week, but wasn't allowed back in the office (and I'm not mad at that - I think this whole pandemic could have been avoided if more people had taken the "better safe than sorry" approach), but working from here in the apartment was really different for me. Being able to sleep later and still make it to my laptop on time, or skipping showers because I was basically here alone, and eating whatever / whenever I wanted to...

Those things might sound like perks, but I didn't feel so great last week. On top of sleeping like absolute crap all week (which could be a hormonal thing or a post-'Rona thing or a "my schedule is out of whack" thing or a combo of it all...) I felt a bit disoriented. And I wasn't taking as great care of my body as I'd gotten used to doing.

So it's a new week that starts with me still working from home. But I'm awake and showered and am about to do my morning skincare routine and have breakfast. The only thing I am not going to do is put on uncomfortable office clothing. I see no reason to make extra laundry if no one is looking at me.

I feel like this is a personal growth thing for me. I used to detest schedules and being told what to do with my time. I used to revel in staying up late, and hate the morning rush of scrambling to get ready for work on time. Since I've been here in Cincy, though, I easily fell into waking up at 6, taking care of myself, working, and crashing out by 10 pm so I could do it all again. And getting out of whack after being sick made me appreciate that. So yeah, I'm saying it:  I missed my routine.

I have only been outside of my apartment once...

I have only been outside of my apartment once since November 28th - and that was to take out my trash.

Today, I am going to curbside pick up my prescriptions... and if the weather is nice I'm going to either take a walk outside or skate. Here's hoping that a bit of exercise will help my sleep issues.

Feels like a big day after almost 2 weeks shut in.

I have been sleeping like crap lately.

I have been sleeping like crap lately. I really dislike having to take Melatonin, but I have been because I need to sleep. But it gives me weird dreams. Today I woke up mad at Barbie dolls. 🤨😂

I'm gonna ramble.

I'm gonna ramble.

Today started off a little rough.  I woke up with a pretty bad tension headache.  I had a lot of weird dreams and must have slept crazy.  I took some meds to head of a migraine and got started on my work later in the day than I wanted to.  But I did my time and made a lot of good progress towards Challenge #2.  I am pretty excited that I am able to be productive from home.

I showered today and put in larger earrings.  I'm at a 5mm now, which I think is about a 4 gauge.  When I visited home for Thanksgiving I brought most of my body jewelry back to Cincinnati with me.  I have a few things I can wear in this size, but a LOT more options once I reach a 2 gauge.  I'm excited about that.

I'm being SO NICE to my ears.  I'm only inserting larger earrings after a hot shower and there is no pain at all.  I remember when I stretched my lobes back in the day it always pinched and hurt a bit.  I feel like I'm just not into that part of it anymore.  I want everything to be comfy.  It's probably also easier because they were stretched before, but I am not complaining.

After catching the 'Rona (I assume from the airport), I have decided that I'm not flying home around another holiday.  My plan is to pack my car full of as much of my stuff as I can live without for a few weeks and drive home and unload it.  That way, when I leave Cincinnati for good I'll have more room for this desk that I acquired and that I love to come with me.  And hopefully a friend will ride with me again - definitely gotta make sure I have room for her!

I'm missing a lot of my work buddies.  I can't go back to the office until I test negative for COVID.  I'm not mad at the caution regarding it, but I feel like I'm missing a lot.  A couple of the guys got their certifications, and one has already been put on a project.  That is all super exciting stuff.  I messaged them on Slack to congratulate them, but it's not the same as a high-five and a "Let's fucking go!"

Anyway, so this is crazy.  I have the ParaGard IUD, which I think hurts me sometimes and I'll probably get removed at some point.  But my hormones are getting jankey, so the doctor I saw prescribed birth control pills.  On top of all of that I am nowhere near my husbang so it seems crazy to be this birth-controlled, but I know there are reasons for it.  The doctor said that I am not old enough to be going into perimenopause yet, but my suddenly irregular periods and night-sweats say otherwise.  I've been a whole damn mess for a few months now and I really hope the pills help.

Well, I can't think of much else to say.  I'm about to chill down for the night and hopefully I'll sleep restfully instead of stressfully tonight.  We'll see. I hope you all are doing well.  ❤️

I didn't go to work last week...

I didn't go to work last week and part of this week because of being sick.

My manager gives us code challenges to try. I finished the first one after getting tons of feedback throughout the day the week before I got sick. Coding is not my strong point, but I am trying my best and he is very helpful!

I missed Challenge #2 because I didn't feel well.

I worked from home today and I just finished Challenge #3 (which he gave us yesterday). I did it all by myself, y'all. I am so damn excited! 😁😁😁

This photo will mean nothing to most of you, but I wrote this script. And it works. And I comment it like I do because it helps me learn and keep my train of thought on track.

It's not due until Tuesday, so maybe I have time to go back and try Challenge 2. 😁

This is the boost I needed tonight after being away. 😁

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

According to the internet my COVID symptoms are pretty mild so far and I would agree that I've definitely felt worse before. I mean, in the past I've worked while in worse condition than this. But I am grateful that I'm able to rest and recover and that I'm not having a terrible go.

I haven't seen another person's face IRL since Tuesday. I take my isolation very seriously. The fact that I could walk out of here and infect someone and they could literally die from this virus is terrifying.

I wear my mask outside of my bedroom. I sanitize my hands before leaving my room and then wash them with soap and hot water immediately after I leave. Then I do whatever I need to in the kitchen or bathroom, then go straight back to my room.

Needless to say, I'm not having the most fun. But I think I'll be ok. I'm just ready for it to be over.

On the bright side, Kelsey made this delicious soup. It's the best thing that's happened in days. 😂😂😂

Something to think about.

Something to think about.

by Caitlin Lowery

I used to be a missionary. I would go on short term mission trips to Eastern Europe or Africa for the sole purpose of “earning souls for Christ”. We kept count of the number of people we “saved”. We put on a play or volunteered for a little while to show our love for Jesus. Then after praying with them and adding their soul to the tally marks, we would never see them again. 

I thought I was doing God’s work. But if I’m being honest, I was doing work that made me feel good. I would volunteer in an orphanage or help clean out a house, both tasks requiring that the people who lived there had to teach me what to do. This actually took their time away from their family or their work. Yet I believed I was serving them. 

Ask me what their names were. I must have worked with and met hundreds of people. Do I remember who they were? Did I even attempt to keep in contact with them or show them that I still care after they’d been added to the notches in my cross? No. Not even once.  

I prayed over their houses of worship, that they would repent and see that their faith was dead. Yet I never once sat down and asked to learn what they believed. Why did I assume that my faith was the right faith? Why did I assume that my presence was so precious that it would change their hearts and lives? Why did I assume that they were lost, living their beautiful content lives right where they were? Why did I assume their lives needed changing? 

This is white supremacy. This is colonization. White people entering a foreign land under the guise of caring to turn people into followers of the white peoples god and life. Do not pretend colonization doesn’t happen anymore. It just lives under a new name: mission trip. 

Do not victimize the missionary that was killed for not following the laws of the tribe he claimed to love. Do not demonize the tribe that simply tried to protect their children from disease and violence. If he cared he would have already known their beliefs and laws and would not have disrespected them. But he didn’t care. They were just going to be another notch on his cross. 

If you’ve gone on mission trips before, and this feels like an attack, sit with that feeling for awhile. Is it good to help people? Yes. Is it good to insert yourself into someone else’s life without asking based on your own assumption that you are the most important person in the room? No. It’s time for us to reflect on that notion and change our ways. 

Colonization needs to end.

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️

Check out Google's logo today. ❤️

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. After 3 years of steering clear, it got me.

I blame it on the travel. 🙁

I guess I picked up a germ while traveling home...

I guess I picked up a germ while traveling home, even though I wore my mask. I heard lots of people coughing at the airport like it was no big deal to be sharing the germs around.

I didn't feel 100% yesterday, but I went to work and wore a mask in case I had something - because I do like to share, but not my germs. I didn't make it in to work today, and I'm not sure that I will tomorrow, either.

My body has been so sore, and my throat hurts and I'm congested sometimes and runny nose others. I'm feverish and exhausted. My face hurts, which usually indicates sinus problems, but that doesn't account for the other symptoms in this case. I have a COVID test here that I'll take the next time I get some snot in my nose.

I hope you all are staying safe. I know that most people are over wearing masks, but that seems like the most effective way to keep germs down. I wish more people would do it. Clearly just wearing mine is not enough.

Goodnight, everyone. I'm going back to sleep.

I made it back to Cincinnati last night.

I made it back to Cincinnati last night. Traveling feels so strenuous; it wipes me out. I let everyone know that I made it back safely and then went almost directly to sleep.

It was great being home. We had a nice holiday together and I had a great birthday with Shaun and Shadow and Kira and Kalien and Mystir at the skating rink. Then Shaun helped me start preparing my home office setup. We got a huge monitor and some lighting and I ordered a desk chair. We moved a few things around. There is not much left to do but work once I get back for good!

Now I'm onto my second half of this journey:  Getting put on a project. Unfortunately, they are slow to come this time of year, as many businesses are taking time off and have run out of space in their budgets. But I'm not worried. I still have plenty of stuff to learn, so I won't be wasting time.

I'll be with family again at the end of the year, then I'll be back in Cincy until no later than mid-February. Not only will that be the required training time, but our lease here will be up and it'll be time to go remote! I'm so ready! I hear the winters here are harsh, and cold and snow are not my jam.

Anyway, I'm back away from the family. But I'll be home again soon, and then home again for good. We've got this. #LFG

So let me tell you about this.

So let me tell you about this.

Kira is the baker in the family and she asked me what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday.

Ever since I was a kid I have had Red Velvet cakes for my birthday. But Kira makes a DELICIOUS Tres Leches.   So I asked her for a Red Velvet Tres Leches and she DID NOT disappoint! That cake was SO YUMMY. 🤌🏻 I ate as much as I could before I had to head back to Cincy. I hope she'll make it again for me next year. 😋

Tomorrow I'll be 40 years old...

Tomorrow I'll be 40 years old and since my birthday sometimes falls on Thanksgiving (like tomorrow), we celebrated tonight.

I wanted a skate party and that is what I got - complete with pizza, ice cream, and friends. It was such a fun time and I'm grateful for that. 😁 Super thank you to Shaun who always spoils me. ❤️

Here are a few pictures, and a video of my light-up wheels.

My friends Kalien and Mystir. Thank you both for hanging out with me! ❤️

So damn excited. 😂😂😂

New speed skates that came with the birthday package. Can't wait to try these out! 😁

My beautiful husbang.

My beautiful indoor skates. This was my first time really skating in them besides around the dining room.

Part of Stranger Things was filmed here.

So happy for all of these cuddles.

So happy for all of these cuddles. 😍😍😍 I missed these guys so much!

I was going through my body jewelry...

I was going through my body jewelry to see what earrings I used to wear and found this mustache. I don't remember ever wearing it, but I think it suits me so this is how I'm going to look for the rest of my life.

You're welcome. 😁😁😁

Oh, how I've missed being in a cat pile. 😻😻😻

Oh, how I've missed being in a cat pile. 😻😻😻

Look where I woke up!

Look where I woke up! I'm so excited to get to spend the week with my ani-pals and Shaun and the kids. I have missed all of these cuddles and snuggles. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm not home for good (yet), but I'll take it. 😁

I painted my nails the other day.

I painted my nails the other day. There's a lot going on here.

I used a milky white gel base, then applied a unicorn powder on that. Then, since those flake off the tips easily and I type a lot I sponged a sparkly gradient from the free edge. I stamped one nail because OBVIOUSLY I needed to. 😂 If only I had some stones here with me I would have put at least one of those on there, too - right near the cuticle of my ring finger.

But anyway. I had fun and treated myself to something pretty. Got kind of a "gelly sandwich" going on here. I like it. 😃

Today I graduated GCU!

Today I graduated GCU! I'm officially a full-fledged Technical Consultant (no longer an Associate Technical Consultant). We had a little graduation ceremony at lunch (complete with confetti and cupcakes), but we're celebrating properly after work at MadTree Brewing.

I can't express how grateful I am for this opportunity. I have learned so much and made so many friends. I'm in an environment where I'll be able to keep learning and that makes me so, so happy. I can't wait to see how far I'll go!

#LFG

Gross.

Gross.

View through my bedroom window because that's as close to this mess as I'm voluntarily willing to get.

I had enough breakfast DoorDashed to me to last a few days. Not going outside until I have to go back to work.

I am far too hype this early in the morning.

I am far too hype this early in the morning. I got to work and checked my email and there is an add on called "Free Blocks" in the company Gmail. I LOVE IT. I think that's gonna be really handy for scheduling meetings.

I also discovered that we have something called "Layouts" so we can send branded emails or just really beautifully designed emails rather than plain text. That might have been there for a while - I don't even know - but I just noticed it.

I'm such a nerd for office stuff and tech. This day is off to a good start! 😁😁😁

Meia came to work...

Meia came to work this past week to teach us some stuff. I was SO, SO happy to see her. It had been too long! We hung out every day after work and it was amazing.

One night while we were out I mentioned that I wanted to take a helicopter tour and she said she was up for going with me... so I booked it immediately! It was a beautiful day - perfect weather, nearing sunset - it was so much fun!

I've wanted to do this for years. I found out that they also do light tours nearer to the holidays. I'm already booked for that. If I gotta be out here away from my family I might as well have whatever fun I can! Don't mind me; I'm just tryna live my best life!

Pardon my face. The excitement was TOO REAL. 😂😂😂

I feel like rambling, so... here I go.

I feel like rambling, so... here I go.

I got some skating in today.  The weather here is really cold in the morning, but sometimes it's the 60s - 70s° F in the afternoon.  Today was gorgeous and I should have spent more time outside, but I did what I felt like doing.  I almost fell on my face due to running over a rock that I didn't see, but I caught myself.  One side of my back hurts a bit when I skate lately.  I don't know if I'm doing my posture wrong or what, but I'm not a huge fan of that.

There is apparently a very nice women's care center here in Cincy and I have an appointment there on Friday.  They do a range of things excluding ob, which is fine because that is not what I need.  I probably need my hormones checked and this IUD checked.  I'm so grateful for the care I'm able to get now that I'm out of Alabama.  I know there is a lot to love about Alabama.  It's beautiful.  But I will never live there again.  I love myself too much to put me through that.

I'm gonna talk about my ears now.  I used to wear earrings all the time, but when I worked at my last job I stopped.  I spent so much time on the phone there that my earrings were uncomfortable and I eventually just said "Screw it" and took them out.  This probably happened in about 2010.  (Btw, I'm not blaming anyone and I wasn't even upset about removing my earrings - it was a choice I made and it was fine.)  My lower lobe piercings were a size 2 gauge at that point, I believe.

I could've decided to start wearing earrings again anytime in the last 5 years because I haven't spent much time with a phone held to my ear, but I never did.  It's no secret that I was in a rut about my appearance by the time I graduated college... and during school there was a lot more to think about than my ears, as was also the case after graduation and with us moving.  And to be honest I was kind of over the "body jewelry / all that's available are barbells / horseshoes / captive-bead-rings / variations on that" type of look.

Anyway, at work a lot of the people have stretched lobes and it looks so good and I have started to miss my holes.  The guys at work usually wear very nice-looking plugs and I finally decided to see if anything had changed since I last shopped for earrings and OH MY.  YES.  YES IT HAS.

Ok, so...there is some really beautiful stuff out there.  Nice wood and stone plugs and tunnels (instead of just metal or acrylic plugs with like, peace signs or someone flipping the bird or pot leaves on them).  Not only that, but there are dangly plugs and tunnels with dangles that thread through!  I'm so fucking excited!!!  I love dangly and pretty earrings!  Obviously, now that I'm making the big bucks I ordered (quite) a few pairs of earrings.  In a size 2 gauge.  That - as you might have guessed - will not even think about fitting in my ear holes. 😂😂😂

That means I had to order some smaller stuff, too, to get back to my old size.  I misjudged and thought I could get a 10 gauge in there... nope.  I've shrank all the way back to a 14 gauge.  I've gotta start over basically from the beginning.  But that's ok.  It's a journey!

I liked my ears at a 2 gauge.  Not too big, but big enough to see through.  I'll be able to wear my old jewelry or my new stuff.  And I've also been thinking of ways to modify my EVEN OLDER regular earrings so that I can wear them, as well.  I love the threading-through tunnels idea.  I think it looks so cute!  I know that's not exactly a new idea, but I definitely like the way it's being done with petite little chains better than what we were doing before.

Well, I have a little bit of homework to do for my job.  Yesterday was the office Halloween party and this precious pupper was there (his name is Chewy and we wore him out with ALL OF THE ATTENTION) and I think most of us got VERY LITTLE done.  Kelsey dressed up as Wednesday Addams.  I went as Three-Hole-Punch Blu.  If you don't get my costume, then you clearly are not a fan of The Office.  The few people who got it appreciated it, so that was nice.  But yeah, we have a group presentation coming up on Tuesday with a test run on Monday, so I'd like to go ahead and get my part finished.

I hope you all are doing well!  I am.  I really am.  I miss home, but I started to realize yesterday how much I'm going to miss my office mates when it's time to head back.  But there are bigger problems to have, so I'll take it.  Talk to you all soon!  ❤️

Someone rescue me...

Someone rescue me from this cold, wet hell. I'm having to defrost my car. Gross.

Today has been rough.

Today has been rough.  I'm about to talk about my period and IUD, so fair warning on that.

I think I'm starting perimenopause.  For much of this past year I've been a sweaty mess at night.  That wasn't a huge sign for me - maybe I was simply hot.  But my current menstrual cycle was (I'll spare you the details) almost a week late and a bit weird.  I'm usually like clockwork, but lately the lead-up to actually bleeding has been longer and longer.  Like I'll feel like it should be here, but it's not.  So PMS has definitely changed for the worse because it's been dragging out.  Such fun.

I was never much of a cramper before, but since having my IUDs I have been.  I can live with cramps, but what hit me this morning had me considering Ubering to an ER (because there is no way I could have driven).  I love my ParaGard IUD, but I'm thinking that our time together has come to an end.  This is not the first time I've felt like I was giving birth to it.  If anyone has ever had one inserted and had their cervix sounded open beforehand, then you know exactly the feeling I'm talking about.  (Btw, that feeling is totally worth it ONE TIME for the security / effectiveness of this birth control, but not so tolerable for a random or monthly occurrence.)

There have been some non-period times that I've sat the wrong way and it hurts in my cervix - which I know is not normal.  There have been quite a few times that has happened and left me catching my breath from the pain.  Today was even worse, though.  I'm kind of wondering if this IUD has embedded in me somewhere.  I can't think of a reason why a cramping uterus would hurt my cervix so much, especially if this never happened before I got this last one.

Anyway.  Fun times.  While I was having the doom cramps and considering just dying in the bathtub so as not to leave a huge mess when I inevitably gave birth to my insides, Shaun was looking up places in my area that I could go for help.  I'll be calling and trying to make an appointment this week because I don't think I can deal with perimenopause changes AND extra pain from an IUD.

Or, I just need to find out if I'm correct with my self-diagnoses here because I could be totally wrong about what's going on.  Either way, today was NOT ok and now that I'm working I don't need to have chunks of time where I am straight-up not functional - especially if they are expected to possibly happen monthly.

After the cramping subsided, I slept for a few more hours and re-started this day.  I've been crampy, but ok since the doom cramps subsided.  Hopefully, that doesn't happen again.

I hope you all are doing well.  I'm not 100%, but I'm ok and I'm hanging in here.  ❤

Every morning I wake up and am SHOCKED...

Every morning I wake up and am SHOCKED by this. Kelsey leaves her coffee and sometimes her breakfast on the counter unattended while she showers. My first instinct is to put it somewhere "safe."

I have endured enough kid spills (as well as cat feet and dog noses) in my food and drink for so long that leaving anything without a lid alone is insanity to me.

Yet here her coffee (and often breakfast) sits, undisturbed. 😳🤯🤯🤯

It really is a whole different world out here for me. 😂😂😂

P. S. I love her cauldron mug. ☕🧹

Now that my love has made it home safely...

Now that my love has made it home safely...

I am so happy that I got to see him.

He was SO exhausted from travel when he arrived on Thursday, but he was a good sport.  He went back to the office with me (we were having a Happy Hour) and hung out for a bit.  He met most of my coworkers and had a drink or two and played with James and I showed him around.  It made me really happy because I want him to know the things that are going on in my life.

He was SUPER hungry so we didn't stay all that long.  I took him to this place called Urban Grill on Main.  I'd been there once and the food was good and they had outdoor seating on their "ark" with heaters.  I wanted to treat him because he's so good to me and he came all this way to be with me.  He got a pretty expensive steak, but he liked it so it was worth it.

After that we went to the hotel.  We normally don't go to fancy ones, but we stayed at The Summit Hotel which was DEFINITELY more upscale than where we normally end up.  It's beautiful and full of art and has tons of food all day - not just breakfast.  They had two levels of indoor parking.  They even offered Room Service, but we didn't take advantage of that.  Shaun booked the hotel and travel and said he found a deal for a price comparable to what we normally pay, so that was nice.  He's a great deal-finder.

He was in town for the BLINK Cincinnati 2022 light festival that went on this weekend, but we didn't make it to that.  I wanted to go, but not more than I wanted to stay in and cuddle with him.  It's getting cold here in Ohio which is NOT my jam.  The day temps were pretty nice, but as you might imagine the BLINK light festival happened at night and outside.  I'm going to look up some pictures and be satisfied with that.

We did go to the Cheesecakery (where I posted some photos from) and those desserts were AMAZING.  I had some Red Velvet Cheesecake pops that were just perfect.  We also tried a Mexican restaurant (because of course we did), but aside from a GIANT mall that's pretty much it.  (I wanted to go to the mall because I saw a girl in a shiny jacket / pants combo and I became obsessed with finding it.  I failed.  But...)

I found a store called Akira and it was playing 90s music and had clothing I would've worn back then... and still now if I had anywhere to wear it to!  They had some ridiculously shiny holographic boots and I STRAIGHT UP got tunnel vision and fell over a bench trying to get to them.  🤣🤣🤣  Y'all don't even understand the pull that "shiny" has over me.  Does that explain my nail polish situation?  Ha.

Anyway, most of the weekend was pretty chill, which was nice.  Shaun kind of roofied himself on allergy medicine either Saturday or Sunday.  I can't even remember.  He hasn't been on his regular allergy meds in over a year, but over the weekend he found himself back in an allergy-inducing environment and took more meds than he needed.  I guess he lost his tolerance, but he got a good nap in! 😂

We watched some shows together and ate and cuddled and slept and hung out and it was so nice.  I have missed him tons, so seeing his face in person was the best thing ever.  I've missed the kids and the animals, too, but the natural way of kids and parents is to have some space as the kids age.  That's not usually the case for spouses.  I've been keeping in touch with everyone, but it's just not the same.  I think Shaun feels much better having seen my current neighborhood and apartment, though - now he knows it's safe.  He also likes my roommate - as I knew he would.

I feel pretty amazing that we are weathering this separation so well.  I trust him with everything - kids, pets, house - anything that's important to me.  And he trusts me, too.  And we both know that this is temporary and that it's for the security of our family, so we can get through this.  I am not usually a holiday person, but this year I'm grateful that they're happening because they're going to give me a break to be home.  And hopefully it'll be less than 8 weeks after the last holiday that I'll be home for good.

Well, I thought I'd pop in and drop a quick little novel... so there you go. Most days I come home after work and crash out. I'm pretty exhausted, and this cold weather only makes me want to curl up in some blankets and rest - which is exactly what I'm about to do now. I hope you all are doing well! ❤️

He's making a face...

He's making a face because I'm taking pictures of him (my eye candy) and the other desserts. I literally do not care. It's a coffee shop and cheesecake bakery. Look at this yumminess!

Chillin' outside and waiting for our drinks. Can't wait to dig in!

Look who's visiting! ❤️

Look who's visiting! ❤️

Me and Kelsey...

Me and Kelsey went to a tiny skate park after work. It even had a shallow bowl! But I was too scared to go in it. I guess I don't need to put myself in the hospital before Shaun comes to see me. 😂

I've had a pretty chill weekend.

I've had a pretty chill weekend. I sat around on the computer for most of yesterday. I found out that my phone is backing up far more stuff to my Google account than necessary, so I cleaned that out and changed some settings. I ate cereal and talked to Shaun. I also ate some delicious pumpkin bread that Kelsey made.

Today the weather is too beautiful to resist. Earlier, I skated for a bit and then showered. More recently I felt compelled to go walking around the apartment complex and I took some pictures of the trees and other plants. There is one tree that I think is super cute. Another, I used to think was ugly... but it's growing on me. And some of them are changing color and showing out. It's actually really beautiful here. I do love being surrounded by nature - as long as I am not the one having to fight it back. 😂😂😂

Anyway, I am off to try Kelsey's potato soup. Then I'll probably do my nails.

I hope you all are having a lovely day! ❤️