I had a good day, but I'm sleepy and ready for bed.

I had a good day, but I'm sleepy and ready for bed. I've tried to go to bed like, twice already but keep having to get up. Once because my little old man peed his bed, and most recently because the dryer just ruined one of my jackets (and likely itself) by eating a zipper. It's great to be jolted out of almost sleep by a grinding metal sound. 😒

I'm back in bed again. Paws crossed I don't have to get up again until morning.

If this ain't me. 😂😂😂

If this ain't me. 😂😂😂 I will help every time, but you might get an ear full.

I know nobody asked, but...

I know nobody asked, but I have seen a lot of my friends who wear gels / acrylics post about being unhappy with their nails since salons are closed.  I have tips (the advice kind) if anyone is interested in growing out / taking care of their natural nails.

1)  Take prenatal vitamins for growth.  I don't care that I haven't been pregnant in 20 years - I've been taking prenatals for as long as I can remember.  I have tried biotin / hair & nail / whatever supplements and vitamins over the years and none of them give me the growth I get with prenatals, so that is what I take.

2)  If you have brittle / peeling nails, then there are two ways to attack that:  From the inside and from the outside.

2a)  From the inside:  Take coconut oil pills.  I don't know the science behind it - I just know that I have A LOT LESS peeling when I take it.

2b)  From the outside:  Cuticle oil / balm.  Any kind is better than nothing, but the best I've ever used has been from Bliss Kiss.  I can have a peeling nail and put that oil on, and it's almost like it seals it back together.  Just get in the habit of moisturizing your nails / cuticles a few times a day and that will help a lot.

2c)  If you file your nails, it's ok to take off length with a coarse file, but use something far less course afterwards for finishing to help prevent peeling.

Obviously, since I am not a doctor you should do your own research regarding what vitamins / supplements are ok for you to take, but this is what has worked for me.  I go through periods of being really on top of my nail care and then times where I don't bother.  I can tell a huge difference when I'm doing all of the things I've listed above.

If anyone has anything to add or ask I'm up for chatting!  Be well, friends!  ❤

Three minutes of Nom walking.

Three minutes of Nom walking. I stopped recording so I could pick him up with two hands. I don't like getting him with one; I would hate to drop him. Sometimes he kicks and wigs out wanting down. 😒

Imagine doing this for 30 minutes. 😂😂😂

I think the pollen makes his face itch. He always stops wiping it when we come back in.

Me: Gets in bed, turns off light, gets comfy

Me:  Gets in bed, turns off light, gets comfy

Booka (after eating, drinking, and going outside):  barks repeatedly for no reason that I can discern

Me:  ignores him because he is fine

Booka:  snatches some papers out of my shelf, throws them down, goes to bed

Me:  🧐 Allllrighty, then. 🤨😂😂😂

I love that sassy child so much. 😂😂😂

Nom was bulldozing the walls today.

Nom was bulldozing the walls today. I had to take him for a walk outside. I foresee many tortoise walks in my near future. 😂😂😂

I finished my certification class...

I finished my certification class (and enjoyed every bit of it)! 😁 Now to prepare for the exam...

But first, a nap. 😊

The last two days have been pretty good. 😊

The last two days have been pretty good.  😊  I'm working on getting a certification so that I can get the job I want.  I had to do a bit of setup to get ready for that but it's ok.  I like learning new things.

I am on Zoom now.  Probably late to the party compared to everyone else since so many people are working from home currently, but better late than never!  I joined a tutorial meeting before actually using it for my class.  You would think that would keep me from doing something goofy on the first day of class, but it did not.  😂😂😂  The teacher asked us to introduce ourselves.  For those of you who don't know you are supposed to be able to use the space bar to temporarily unmute yourself in Zoom, but it wasn't working for me.  Later when I typed in the chat my text was down a few lines.  Obviously, that is where my spaces went.  😛  Lesson learned - pay attention to where your cursor is!

Since I'm in a class that has a start time I had to get my schedule on track.  I wasn't sure at first if I was going to be seen on video or not (I wasn't), and if the teacher was going to keep us muted by default (he did), or if there were going to be breaks (there were), so I got Shaun on my schedule to help with the dogs - just in case.  Booka  spent Wednesday sleeping in my room - snoring as usual.  Faith napped in with me for a while today, but they mostly stayed on the couch.  I'm good either way, but I wanted to be prepared.  It has worked out.

If this is a taste of what working from home will be like then I am extremely happy.  That was my plan even before the plague happened, but I imagine that it would be even easier now that it is basically mandatory in a lot of cases.  Regardless, getting out of bed and letting the dogs out, then getting some yogurt and tea and heading to my bedroom full of light and succulents to do nerdy stuff on the computer has been really fun and fulfilling so far.  For the last two days I've fed my animals on my first break, had lunch with Shaun, and done small errands like pay bills online (or just stretch and look at my plants) at my last break.  Then when the class is over I clean litter boxes and my chores (as well as the "work day") is over with.  I could REALLY get used to this.

Anyway, I guess that's enough rambling.  We took a walk today and I'm sweaty so I'm off to shower and if I'm being honest I'll probably crash soon.  I'm not upset, though - I want to be ready for my last day of class.  I hope you all are doing well and staying safe!  ❤

I'm having the kind of day...

I'm having the kind of day where your dog poops and has a dirty butt, but she is being chill and lets you wipe it without a fuss.

😂😂😂

Can't complain!

For my out of state friends:

For my out of state friends:  Check out this email from the state government of Alabama. I found it disgusting and disturbing. And despite our "invisible enemy" they're trying to "reopen our economy" on May 1. 

"Our nation is under attack from an invisible enemy. We are at war with the coronavirus. It has brought our powerful economy to a halt and millions have lost their jobs. It has closed our schools and forced almost every American to live under state government mandated stay at home orders. Worse it has taken the lives of tens of thousands of our loved ones and sickened many more.

In this war, the front lines are all around us. Our warriors are our healthcare workers, doctors and nurses. Our grocery store clerks, truck drivers, delivery staff, farmers and producers, first responders and law enforcement. And so many, many more that strive to keep our lives as normal as possible.

Make no mistake: Our nation will come back from this fight stronger than ever. And we must learn the tough lessons from it.

First and foremost, China is America’s enemy of the 21st Century – either we win or they win. There is something deeply suspicious about China’s role in the coronavirus pandemic. They still have not told the truth about its origins. They continue their disinformation campaign blaming the American military. And on top of that, they are hoarding medical supplies and sending bogus testing kits around the world. We must see China for what they are – a corrupt, immoral Communist dictatorship that is a direct threat to our way of life.

Next, our nation cannot be taken advantage of by international groups like the World Health Organization (WHO). As the sponsor of H.R.204, the American Sovereignty Restoration Act, my bill would terminate America’s participation in the United Nations (UN) and the WHO. That’s why I strongly support President Trump’s decision to cut off American funding to them. We know that the WHO’s leadership is heavily influenced by China. Their actions in the early stages of the pandemic makes me believe it is nothing but a puppet of the Chinese Communist Party.

Finally, our nation must become much more self-sufficient for key healthcare supplies, medicines and critical care equipment. These vital lifesaving goods must be made in the USA. We can never again depend on corrupt foreign nations like China.

As our nation recovers from this terrible pandemic, remember our perseverance is stronger than any challenge, our spirit cannot be conquered and we are one nation under God.

Sincerely,

Mike Rogers

Alabama's Third District"

I know that there is talk of Alabama opening back up...

I know that there is talk of Alabama opening back up, but I'm not into that.  Whether anyone else believes it, *I* know it's not smart and we (me, Shaun, and the kids) will continue to stay in.  As weird as it might sound I'm kind of digging our "new normal."  Obviously there are some things I miss but overall I'm starting to relax into staying home.

I feel rested - and not just my body.  Like, in my mind.  In my bones.  Deep down.  There are no expectations of us - just survive.  I'm not always running, trying to keep up with a million things.  The house is cleaner and more organized than ever.  There are still things to do, but our to-do lists are shrinking and that feels nice.  I have games, coloring books, reading books, and puzzle books at my disposal.  I have hobbies (like nail art and plants).  We have Netflix and Hulu.  We have ani-pals.  The purchase of this big-ass comfy couch couldn't have BEEN more timely.  Not gonna lie - I could get used to having monthly supplies shipped to my house and curbside pickup for groceries.  Now that my initial panic has worn off I'm starting to feel at peace.

The only thing that bothers me is we don't see the kids a ton.  They are being good and staying in, as are we.  They do come over to do laundry, though.  I'd rather them do that than go to a laundromat (if those are even open - I don't know).  But we have fun with our time together and watch movies and hang out.  Kira baked a cake for Easter.  It was really good.  She made some yummy cookies for today.  Sometimes I paint her nails.  Today I trimmed her bangs and let her cut my hair. Shaun and Shadow talk games.  We just spend time being with each other.  It feels nice to take care of each other.

I don't know... I guess I'm just rambling.  But I feel ok for the moment.  I know these are really bad times for some of my friends and I hate that, but just know that my little family is doing everything it can to make sure we are staying out of the way and not spreading this disease.  I hope that you all are staying as safe as you can.  Please be well.  Much love.

Schedule is still jacked.

Schedule is still jacked.  Working on that.  Haven't done much physically in several days.  Not depression hiding, but straight up chilling in my bed reading or on the couch playing games and snuggling animals.  The most intense thing I've done was beat like, 200 games on the Microsoft Solitaire Collection while watching Netflix (I know... but ACHIEVEMENTS!), paint my toes, and prioritize my to-do list.

I guess I am *finally* rested enough that I'll do some physical work tomorrow (or later today when I wake up - whatever).  I've got some training scheduled for next week that will hopefully get me working soon.  I feel sort of optimistic, given... well, everything.  For the moment I'm ok and we're ok.  I hope you all are, too.  ❤

Shaun's been cleaning his room all night.

Haha.  Shaun's been cleaning his room all night.  I've been playing games and watching Netflix.  He just came into the living room with stuff he's found.  There was a lid to a box that I've been looking for for over a year!  I might be too excited to sleep now.  😂😂😂

Also, good morning.  😳

I just finished doing my toes.

I just finished doing my toes. They needed to be done months ago but I never felt like it. This is better. 😊 Maybe Shaun's are next. 😃

I would like to do some nail art but I'm not feeling creative. Anyone up for challenging me? Post pics of nail art in the comments and I'll pick something to recreate. (Not length or shape-wise - just the look.)

I went to Wal-Mart to curbside pickup our groceries.

I went to Wal-Mart to curbside pickup our groceries.  My anxiety has been through the roof since.  Coincidence?  I doubt it.

Over the last 5 years school has kept me busy enough that I barely had a social life.  But me and Shaun like to go out for food.  That has kind of always been our thing.  That's how we started dating - taking lunch breaks together at work.  So it's been a big change to stay home all the time.  It really sucked at first, but I've gotten pretty used to it and that's ok.

But leaving the house is NOT ok for me yet.  Seeing people in masks is really off-putting... I guess because that's not "normal."  Seeing how many of the workers didn't have masks bothered me just as much, though, because I felt worried about them.  Seeing things as busy as they are during a pandemic got to me a lot.  Seeing all of these workers out here doing their jobs despite how dangerous it is makes my heart hurt.  It was really all I could do to not cry on the way home because these people likely don't have a choice whether to work or not - it's work despite the danger or lose everything.  What an awful position to be in.  My heart hurts.  I feel guilty for us being fortunate enough to not be on the front lines.  I don't know what to do with that emotion.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and staying safe.

Shaun: "I'm cold."

Shaun:  "I'm cold."

Me: "You want a blanket?"

Shaun:  "No, I'm about to get up."

Five minutes later...

Yes!

Yes!

Hey, friends. Specifically, friends who have a uterus.

Hey, friends.  Specifically, friends who have a uterus.

I'm 99% sure I've posted about menstrual cups before but I thought it would be worth mentioning again since, you know, quarantine.  I am not sure how bad things will get but I know that none of us want to be stuck without some form of period protection.  I highly recommend getting a reusable cup of some sort, if not for monthly use, then at least for JUST IN CASE.

There are tons of different variations, but two distinct styles of cup:  1)  Flat cups that sit just below the cervix and 2)  Cups that sit in the vaginal canal.

Personally, I've had the best luck and most comfort with the flat cups that sit just below the cervix.  There are no insertion folds to learn.  These also have the added benefit of being wearable during sexytimes, because they fit just like a birth control diaphragm would.  The reusable cup that I have is the Intimina Ziggy Cup.  It comes with a neat little carrying case.  A disposable cup that is very comfortable is the FlexDisc.  It is available by subscription only at the moment.

The "sitting in the vaginal canal" cups just don't work well for me, with one exception:  The FemmyCycle Menstrual Cup for Low Cervix.  It's shorter with a rounded bottom.  It's really soft and has a nice little removal loop.

The other cups in this category that I've tried are not my favorite, but we are all different so one of these could end up being your favorite.  These require different folding techniques before insertion.  I am not a fan of the suction-feeling upon removal.  They have stems that you can trim, but even all the way off is never short enough for me.  Maybe I am not getting the cup in deep enough, because I always feel them.  In any case, Lena cup had a money-back guarantee when I bought mine so that is a good cup to check into if you are interested.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or pm me.  I've been studying / trying these cups since FlexDisc was "Instead SoftCup" and before the vagina-sitting cups were available in the United States (my first vagina-sitting cup was from the UK. 😂😂😂  What can I say?  I was ready for period innovation).  Anyway, I'm happy to help you if I can!  Stay safe.  ❤️❤️❤️

Edited to add this quiz.  It helps you find your best cup, and from the looks of it it is pretty accurate!

https://putacupinit.com/quiz/

Links:

Intimina Ziggy Cup

FlexDisc Reusable

FemmyCycle Menstrual Cup for Low Cervix

Lena

I spent the day with my plants again. Pics, of course.

I spent the day with my plants again. Pics, of course.

She's blooming. 😍

He looks like a creature to me. 😍

Crested Echeveria Esther. Her new growth is tighter than when I got her, so she looks scraggly. I still think she's beautiful, though.

I'm super excited about these roots. 😁

String of Hearts in bloom.

That bottom one is killing me. 😂😂😂 This is what it reminded me of.

Today was productive.

Today was productive.

Thanks to all of you wonderful people with advice my prescriptions were sent in.  Someone else ended up doing it because the NP at JSU still insisted that she couldn't do it without seeing my physically, but that's ok.  It's taken care of and it's a huge stress off my back.

I dealt with some paperwork stuff today that I'd been putting off as well as finished up my schoolwork for the semester.  I'm taking a job training course soon so I needed to get myself freed up.  Mission accomplished.  That also deleted some stress so maybe I'll calm down.  My skin and my bones are out here wildin'.  😂😂😂

I hope you all are doing well and staying safe.  ❤️❤️❤️

I'm feeling a bit upset.

I'm feeling a bit upset.  I'm going to need my antianxiety and antidepressant refilled soon.  I've been going to the Student Health Center at JSU for that since 2017.  I emailed to ask if I could have my medication refilled (medication that I've been on for probably a year at this point [Buspar and Lexapro]) and she said not without an appointment.  I expressed my concerns about leaving my house.  The Nurse Practitioner who sees me responded that they've been slow and haven't had anyone positive in the building.

She can't know that since you can have Covid-19 and be asymptomatic.  They would have had to test everyone who's been in and I'm pretty sure that has not happened.  I replied to her that I have autoimmune issues and my husbang's lungs are NOT 100%.  We'll see what she says, but I guess in case that doesn't go well - do you know of anyone who would see me remotely and refill my meds?  Keep in mind that I don't have insurance.  Thanks in advance.

I did this about the kids. Now I'm doing it about the dogs. 😂😂😂

I did this about the kids. Now I'm doing it about the dogs. 😂😂😂

The difference between our puppers:

Most laid back?

Booka. He's always napping or snuggling.

Bossiest?

Faith. When the cats get out of line she breaks it up or barks until we take care of it.

Pickiest eater?

Booka. Faith eats almost anything.

Who sleeps the most?

Boo, for sure.

Who is the sneakiest?

Faith tries to be. She's a dang mess.

Who is the most sensitive?

Faith, probably. She gets her feelings hurt - especially if you laugh when she falls. 

Who is the dare devil?

Faith. She'll try anything. Booka asks for help.

Who is the cleanest?

Faith.

Who is the loudest?

FAITH. She barks at the cats and barks at whatever moves outside. 🙄

Most dramatic?

Faith. She can turn a cat squabble into a circus.

Who talks the most?

Faith, but Booka is very communicative in his own way.

Most likely to take care of you?

Both, in different ways. Faith protects us with all her barking. Booka is the sweet snuggler that takes care of my heart.

Who is likely to cause you to lose your mind?

FAITH.

Makes you laugh?

Both. Faith with her goofy ass. Booka with his rolling and burrowing.

Who would help you hide a body?

Faith would be the one with the energy for it.

Most likely to be a CEO?

Faith. She likes to be in control.

Nom (the big tortoise)...

Nom (the big tortoise) got his head stuck under the door (again) the other day. Today I found a scrape in his neck foreskin. I wonder if it's from the other day, or new. We checked him out after freeing him. He's so extra. 😂😂😂

Boyfriend missed me today. 😍😊

Boyfriend missed me today. 😍😊

I spent the day with my plants.

I spent the day with my plants. We all needed that. Here are some pictures.

The photo doesn't do this one justice. More yellow at the bottom and more purple at the top. It's beautiful, whatever it is. 🌈

This little goth baby has 4 heads. I've never seen that before!

This one looks like a sphere. Teensy leaves everywhere!

These are the larger babies. They are coloring up so nicely!

Smaller babies. The left half of these were put under the light today. I bet they'll be beautiful.

Smaller babies, and somehow, EVEN SMALLER babies.

Babies still attached to their mama leaf.

Smaller babies, some attached to their mama leaf, some just too small to water any other way.

I just finished one assignment that has been hanging over me for weeks. Phew!

I just finished one assignment that has been hanging over me for weeks. Phew!

Maybe it took me 18 hours in bed...

Maybe it took me 18 hours in bed to get up enough motivation to take a crack at some homework.  I just checked one thing off my list.  Woo.

Shaun's up shampooing the carpet.  😂😂😂😍  Our schedules are completely messed up, but hooray for doing things, I guess.

Tfw you've been in bed for 18 hours...

Tfw you've been in bed for 18 hours and have to ask your husbang to come rescue you.

Haha! Finally a thing I'm inclined to do.

Haha! Finally a thing I'm inclined to do.

The difference between our kids:

Most laid back?

    Shadow:  "I'm good. Just chillin'."

Bossiest?

    Kira:  "Give it TO ME!"

Pickiest eater?

    Kira - she doesn't like cheese; Shadow's practically a garbage disposal. 😂😂😂

Who sleeps the most?

    I don't actually know.

Who is the sneakiest?

    Kira tries to be. 😂😂😂

Who is the most sensitive?

    Kira. Shadow takes most everything in stride.

Who is the dare devil?

    Kira. She's so goofy. Shadow is more calculated.

Who is the cleanest?

    Probably Kira.

Who is the loudest?

    KIRA. Shadow doesn't get too loud, usually.

Most dramatic?

    Kira. We have to convince her she's not dying just about every week. 😂😂😂 I can't wait to get that good health insurance. 

Who talks the most?

    Both, depending on their mood. But probably Kira overall. "Wait, pause the show." All night conversation ensues (and I love that). 

Most likely to take care of you?

    Both, in different ways. But we're all so close in age we plan to live in a retirement community together. 😂😂😂 

Who is likely to cause you to lose your mind?

    I worry about Kira's health issues a lot.

Makes you laugh?

    Both. Kira because we're goofy together and I just can't stop. Shadow with his unexpected puns and jokes.

Who would help you hide a body?

    I think it would be Kira. Shadow is more squeamish.

Most likely to be a CEO?

    Either of them can do anything they want, but that doesn't sound like something either of them would be interested in.

Shaun just covered and tucked in my old man...

Shaun just covered and tucked in my old man and I'm not sure I could love him more. I asked him what he was doing when he got a fresh new blanket out. His response? "He looked cold." This human still melts my heart even after 12 years. 💗💗💗

For the last 3 days...

For the last 3 days I have sat down to do homework and I have gotten exactly 0% of it done.  I cannot concentrate to save my life.  I'm obsessing over this virus stuff and everything feels a little pointless right now.  I don't know how to break this cycle.

We tried to go to Wal-Mart...

We tried to go to Wal-Mart because me and Kira need some medication refilled.  It was PACKED and I chickened out.  I'm wondering if the (finally issued) stay at home order is going to make that better or worse...

In case anyone is wondering how my day is going...

In case anyone is wondering how my day is going... I just hit my face on a trashcan and broke my glasses. 😂😂😂😭😭😭

Wifey. 😍

Wifey. 😍

Our sweet parakeet...

Our sweet parakeet, CeeLo Green, passed away today. 😭😭😭

It's 2:30 in the morning on a Wednesday.

It's 2:30 in the morning on a Wednesday. I don't know if anyone will see this, but I'm not feeling too ok. I'm just posting to get out of my head. 

I slept like crap last night. I had nightmares again. Far too often my nightmares involve my dogs; specifically, the loss of most of my pack (Lowrider, Scooter, Emma, Nappy, and the remaining Booka and Faith). Not even their deaths - I have found that I can live with that, as I know where they are and that they're not suffering. The nightmares are that I have to choose between my dogs and other humans, or that they are lost and I can't find them, or I have to choose between them and being homeless or some other hardship. The thought of being forced to let them go kills me. Nothing like that ever happened; I was with the four who've already passed until the very end, just as I plan to be for my remaining two. I don't understand why I keep having these dreams.

I'm not one to assign meaning to things like this, but damn. The recurrence makes me wonder. Regardless, I wish I could find a way to make them stop. I woke up feeling terrible with a tension headache and a side of nausea. I managed to stave off getting a migraine, but I felt pretty rough all day and napped a lot.

I'm (understandably) having a good deal of anxiety about the virus situation. I can't stop myself from checking every few hours to see how the confirmed case count has gone up in my area. I'm worried about my mom, dad, and brother. I don't know how much they're staying in. I wonder if the people I care about will survive this until I can see them again.

I really don't see this easing up anytime soon; certainly not by Easter. Things obviously suck right now, but I'm pretty sure the worst has yet to hit Alabama and waiting for the other shoe to drop is torturous. I'm not saying it's better for a tornado to rip through and kill us, but at least that's over fast and the damage can be assessed pretty quickly. With this virus it's like slow doom and the not-knowing exactly HOW bad it's going to be is getting to me.

I don't know if I'm being dramatic by thinking things will never be the same. In a lot of ways that could be good, but on the other hand I think we'll all end up losing people we care about and obviously that will be terrible. I saw a video on reddit of a guy in his car getting footage of bodies being loaded into a cold truck in Brooklyn. All he could say was "This is for real" over and over. You could hear him breaking down over the length of the 2-minute video. I know that we're not as densely populated as some other places, but that is literally happening here in the United States. That scares me.

I don't know. I'm trying to stay busy and out of my head. Me and Shaun did yard work the other day. I spent yesterday washing my rocks and cleaning old candle jars to use for storage and plant stuff. My nails were a nice length before that and I'd been hoping to do some nail art, but instead I gave them the big chop last night. They were too far gone and I have more rocks to wash and jars to clean. I really need to put some focus on school work but I'm having a hard time controlling my brain. I can do repetitive / mindless tasks easily, but when I'm still / quiet - that's hard.

Anyway, tldr; I'm struggling. Not so much with being home, but, you know - doom.

I hope you all are doing well. Unless everyone is just not talking about their feelings, you all seem to be coping fairly decently. Feel free to write feelings to me anytime. Memes are cool and all that, but I like getting real. I like knowing how y'all are doing, genuinely. ❤️❤️❤️