Today was hard. HARD.

Today was hard.  HARD.  My Gramson, Leon (Kira's kitty who she will tell you with no hesitation CAME OUT OF HER) has been sick.  He went to the vet on Tuesday and had a physical exam and bloodwork.  Physical was good - heart and lungs sounded good, but you could look at this kid and tell he felt awful.  He'd stopped eating and was barely drinking and since the physical turned up nothing we did blood work.  The vet went ahead and prescribed an appetite stimulant and an antibiotic because he had a snotty nose. 

We brought him a urine sample the next day (Wednesday) when we got the bloodwork results.  Nothing too alarming in the blood aside from some elevated cortisol and something about protein.  The urine sample (we got results today over the phone around 2 pm - and let me tell you that was a hard wait) showed an excess of protein.  The vet said that he suspected the liver was having a problem and referred us to the emergency hospital.  So, off we went.

The first thing the emergency hospital wanted to do was radiography so we let them.  Leon has fluid in his abdomen where it should not be.  The vet there said that possibly indicated cancer or maybe he ingested something he shouldn't have and injured himself.  The word "cancer" was the first time I heard Kira cry about this - I don't think any of us were expecting something so serious.  We asked if there were tests to rule out cancer or lean them more toward him having ingested something bad and they said they would do them and let us know.

They drew some of the fluid and the protein level indicates that it is most likely FIP - something rare and that there is no FDA-approved cure for at this time.  There is a way we can treat Leon, but the vet can't prescribe it and we'll have to do it ourselves and whether you agree with this or not:  We're planning to try it.

I CANNOT STRESS to you all how important this cat is to Kira.  She loves him so, so very much.  He is her son that came out of her.  She's had him for his short 4 years of life and spoiled him for every bit of that time.  She leaves the house sometimes and is always ready to get back to her kitty wuss.  It doesn't matter if we're downstairs and she's upstairs with him, or if we're sleeping, or what is going on - when she sees him she always exclaims loudly and excitedly about her kitty and everyone hears it.  He is more than an emotional support to her - he is a HUGE part of her life.  I worry about her mental health because she's been through so much (she is in therapy and has made great progress in the years she's been with us), but I could see losing Leon really setting her back.  We just have to try everything we can.

So today was hard.  Very hard.  I sat on the couch stress-eating junk food waiting to hear from the vet about the urinalysis.  I will be paying for that with my skin and bones later.  After he called we went straight to the hospital; I would guess we got there around 2:45.  I was so on edge that I yelled at everyone in the car to shut up while I called to let them know we were there.  I'm usually super patient, but I did not have it in me today.  (I later apologized because I felt so bad about that incident.)  Anyway, we did not make it home until after 9 this evening.  It has been an emotional roller-coaster and I'm crashing.

Leon is staying overnight getting fluids and steroids and hopefully we can get him eating again.  If the doctor says he's perked up in the morning then I am going to order the experimental treatment overnight and we'll start him on it Saturday.  It is honestly our last option and I am hoping more than anything that it works.  Shaun usually doesn't go for stuff like this, but he knows the importance of this cat.

Don't get me wrong - I love my Gramson like the world, but I am so extremely worried about what will happen to Kira if he doesn't make it.  She has been so great taking care of him while he hasn't felt well.  I see her doing what I've done when she and Shadow or my animals needed me and I know how hard it is.  I know what it looks like to push your feelings aside so you can be the caretaker.  I know how bad it hurts to hear a loved one might not make it, and the grasping at any bit of hope you can grab to keep them with you.  I am more than familiar with those hard decisions that come with end of life and I am desperately hoping she doesn't have to endure that yet.

I don't know.  I'm just letting my feelings out and hoping for the best.  I really don't know what else to do at this point, but I needed to let it out.  I'm really worried, and I'm really scared.

I had impromptu dental work today.

I had impromptu dental work today.

When I took Kira to the dentist for her check-up after her wisdom teeth removal I asked about making an appointment for myself. After I got my last fillings I've been unable to floss between my two back teeth and that bothers me (even though I'm more of a casual flosser). They said they had an open appointment with my doctor later today so I took it.

Before my appointment I brushed and flossed my teeth. Out of habit I tried to floss the back ones. Well, this time the floss went in and when it came out something hard came out. I figured it was best to keep my appointment even though my problem was solved. Good thing I did - I flossed my filling out.

The dentist asked if I had time for a filling today and I told him that I did if he did. So I got my filling replaced. I'm so tired now. This week has been a lot.

We're having a rough animal week over here.

We're having a rough animal week over here. Cubba was seen by the vet because he has a red growth on his elbow that's been bothering him. It's not where the vet expected and that's concerning. He needs to have surgery about it.

My Gramson, Leon (Kira's kitty) isn't doing well, either. We've had blood work done and should have urinalysis results tomorrow. If he doesn't show improvement by tomorrow and / or we don't have any answers he will likely be admitted to the hospital.

Kira's handling all of this like a trooper and I'm so proud of her. She's taken excellent care of Leon and we were talking today and she's feeling a lot of things that I can relate to. Poor girl. But we're all in this as a family and we're going to do the best we can for Leon and Cub. It's just not an easy or fun time right now.

Pardon my photo, but...

Pardon my photo, but this is Green Chile Apple Pie with vanilla ice cream. Well, it was. It's gone now. Shaun and I ate it all. Weird, but really really good.

New Mexico - I love you. 💚

Today I borrowed Shadow's car...

Today I borrowed Shadow's car to pick up groceries. It's a longer car than what I'm used to driving. When I pull into the garage in Shadow's car Shaun usually tells me to stop because I get the front of the car too close to the house for his liking. 😂

Today he told me to stop and this happened. He claims he wasn't paying attention. 😂😂😂 There's like a millimeter of space between the back of the car and the garage door. Maybe I'll start trusting my own judgment from now on. 😜

This is a glass mushroom jar...

This is a glass mushroom jar that Shaun's mom used to have filled with seashells. I'm not a beachy person so when I inherited it I decided to do something else with it. At the time I didn't know what that was going to be, but I figured it out a few months ago. I just had to get up the emotional courage to make it happen.

The top half is undercoat that I brushed from my now-deceased Scooter and the bottom half is undercoat I brushed from my now-deceased Faith. They are the two dogs I had that blew their coats like this and I loved brushing and plucking them even though it wasn't their favorite thing. 😂

I loved them so much and I miss them and the rest of my pack like crazy, but this little tribute to my most sheddy mutts makes my heart happy. I have mementos from most of my animals, but they're not all this easy to display. Anyway, I wanted to share. I think it's beautiful. 💗

Shadow smells so good right now.

Shadow smells so good right now. He's got the house and the car smelling yummy! He's using something that his Aunt Fal made. Fal, do you have a Facebook business page? I want to like and share it if you do. ❤️

"The human brain and human body are complex and wondrous...

"The human brain and human body are complex and wondrous and get it right almost every time, but sometimes they get it different. And different should not be wrong, and different people and their families should not be attacked by their own government."

Today was another busy but good day.

Today was another busy but good day. I got my hair cut and then had an impromptu girl date and it was amazing. ❤️

Then Shaun had a dentist appointment and said he was going to shower and shave to get ready. Then his goofy ass came downstairs with no eyebrows. 😂😂😂 I love him. I love him so much. 😍🤣

You are welcome for this paparazzi photo I got of him while he was eating. 😆😁

Cubba is dreaming...

Cubba is dreaming, Club Soda is snoring, and I've got these 3 boys curled up with me. Scar doesn't look even a little comfortable, but... cat. 😂

Oh my gosh, this turned out SO GOOD.

Oh my gosh, this turned out SO GOOD. Definitely one of the best things she's made. It's delicious.

Today was busy, but in a good way.

Today was busy, but in a good way. Shaun and I left this morning to run some errands and then when we got home someone wanted to buy a thing I had for sale on Nextdoor (I'm using that app to clean out the garage). After that was done we loaded up Cub and went to the park. I skated while Shaun walked with him and then we let him check out the dog park.

When we got home we were not planning to go back out, but we did. We went to the tea shop so I could get more tea and did a few more errands and then we went and had a dinner date. It was nice.

Now I'm home and full and sleepy. The house smells delicious because Kira's making brownies. I have some sleepy cats in my lap and my tortoise has tucked himself into a corner of the sunroom for the night. No complaints here. 😊 I hope you all have had a nice day, too. ❤️

He likes his play / hide area! Yay!

He likes his play / hide area! Yay!

I've got some seeds I need to plant so he can graze out there. I suppose I need to get on that!

Someone is spoiled. 😂

Someone is spoiled. 😂

Shaun fixed up the dog kennel so we could let Tort Baby have exercise time outdoors without us having to keep eyeballs directly on him. We found out the other day that he disappears quickly in our bushes and can fit under the backyard gate. 😬 Now he's unable to escape, has plenty of room to exercise, sun or shade - whatever he wants, and Shaun even built him a little "playground" from blocks. He seems to like it so far.

Also, I let him sleep loose in the sunroom last night. It's warm enough that he doesn't need his heat lamp constantly. I love that he's able to be so free right now. If we get the sunroom finished I would love to let that be his room while it's warm enough and only put him in his apartment for brumation.

Anyway, he's a spoiled tort - as one should be. 😊😍

We have a channel called FNX - First Nations Experience.

We have a channel called FNX - First Nations Experience. It has a kids show we just stumbled upon called Frybread Flats. It was teaching the native Cheyenne language. I love it here. I love the culture here. I love the people. I love the diversity. I love the inclusiveness.

This is in sharp contrast to my last post (about Alabama).

I really don't miss Alabama. Like, even a little bit.

I really don't miss Alabama. Like, even a little bit.

I don't usually do a lot of TV-watching...

I don't usually do a lot of TV-watching - I tend to like it best when it's off. But while I was having tea this morning Shaun turned on the channels and started flipping through. He paused on a soccer match (I am especially not into watching sports) and we both got sucked in.

First of all it was in Spanish and I like that. I'd like to learn the language and it's cool to see what words I recognize. But this one announcer... Oh, my dude was GIVING ME LIFE with how long and hard he was rolling his Rs. 😂😂😂 We left it on so we could listen to it. (Not in a making-fun type of way - it just made my heart happy).

The longer it was on the more Shaun paid attention and got sucked into the game. One guy (I hate to assume genders, but it looked like a men's team and sports is generally heavily segregated still) scored and was so happy he took off his shirt to reveal a sports-bra-looking thing underneath. I'm guessing it was a nip-protector of some sort. I've never seen anything like that before and I thought it was neat. Another guy scored twice and did a cute li'l happy dance.

Anyway, that's how my day is going. Unexpectedly interesting. No complaints here!

We're all having a slow, chill day here.

We're all having a slow, chill day here.

I think I've peopled more this past week than I have in AGES.  We've had lots of appointments lately and then twice this week I've ended up shopping.  I normally hate shopping but Kira needed a few things (as did I), and then Shaun kinda sprung the shoe search on me the other day.  Aside from that we're cleaning out the garage so I listed a few things for sale on Nextdoor and have been dealing with the messages and meets and pickups for that.  It's felt pretty hectic.

I guess in that case I should give myself a break today for doing absolutely the bare minimum.  I've slightly had energy and thought about going to the park for a walk, but the timing never worked out so here I stayed.  I've watched shows with Shaun, played games on my phone, colored, nursed my kitty, (but not with my titty - sorry, I couldn't help myself once my brain heard the rhyme.  You're welcome for that). 

But for realz, my Scar wuss isn't feeling well.  He's been throwing up and having diarrhea.  I have been giving him small amounts of wet food mixed with water to keep his hydration up and if he's not doing better by Monday then he going to the doctor.  Thankfully, I haven't seen him throw up or have an accident since I've been feeding him this way so *paws crossed* that he's on the mend.

Aside from him not feeling 100%, Kira doesn't, either.  She's pretty sore from having that sideways wisdom tooth dug out.  She's been resting and hopefully staying on top of her Tylenol / Ibuprofen schedule.  If I'm honest then I'm not 100% today, either.  I'm cramping and overall feeling pretty tired despite sleeping well last night and even napping today.  I also hate it when the kids and / or furbabies don't feel well so it's just one of those days around here, I suppose.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well.  It might not be our best day over here, but I'm grateful for the nice breeze from the open windows and the comfort of home and being together, and for the fact that I had nothing pressing to do today.  I'm feeling optimistic, I guess.  Good evening, friends.  ❤

Kira just got her last 2 wisdom teeth out.

Kira just got her last 2 wisdom teeth out. The top one came out fine, but the bottom one took some effort and ended up breaking. She's not as chatty tonight as she was last time. Poor baby. But I'm glad it's over. Hopefully, the worst of her dental work is behind her now.

We got our new electric bill.

We got our new electric bill. We used more energy this past cycle than we have since we've been here. Our previous bill was $244.83. Our new one is $8.18 which is the base service charge from the electric company.

I'd say that going solar was a worthy investment.

Shaun wanted to go shoe shopping...

Shaun wanted to go shoe shopping (for himself), so of course that means I got some shoes. 😂😂😂 It never fails that when he tries to find shoes for himself that he buys someone else a pair first. He did find some today, but I think he only got them because he was tired of looking and they pretty much fit (even though they weren't his first color choice). 

Anyway, these are my new shoes - straight from the kid's section. Yay for having small feetses.

Also, my hair for your viewing pleasure. I took my hoodie off when I got home and Kira said that I "had an Alfalfa." She wasn't wrong. 😂😂😂

I got my teeth did! 😁

It's been a good morning! I got my teeth did! 😁

Had a couple of cavities filled and old fillings replaced. Then got these bad boys cleaned and polished. They look and feel so good!

Pardon my sleepy eyes. I woke up before I was ready, but I wasn't missing my appointment for anything! I feel so lucky to be able to take care of myself this way - especially after going years without easy access to dental care.

Shaun scared me awake this morning...

Shaun scared me awake this morning by covering my foot that was sticking out of the covers and accidentally tickling me in the process.  That was at 7-something.  I thought I could go back to sleep and tried to do so for a while, but ended up getting out of bed and showering around 9:30.  Don't know why I bothered because the next thing I wanted to do was clean / organize the garage.  😆

We worked for hours and got a lot done.  We're trying to make space in there for another car and should be able to get one in there soon.  We sold Kira's before moving so she's been without one for a while.  Most of our time here so far has been settling in and all that so she hasn't really needed one, but we know it's nice to have your own transportation so we're going to remedy that pretty soon.

Anyway, after we worked so hard we were hungry and ordered some pizza and dessert - I had a slice of Tiramisu and Shaun had a piece of cheesecake.  Then we settled in and watched some TV and rested and digested and all that.  Then somehow I decided it was time to work some more.  😂

I ended up vacuuming upstairs and downstairs and also the actual stairs.  There has GOT to be a better way to vacuum stairs besides using the tube while lugging the vacuum up and down, and I am going to find it because that's some ridiculously back-breaking and inefficient work and that's not my jam.  I really like to vacuum at least once a week (and for some reason I usually want to do it on the weekend), so those stairs are a recurrent problem.  My point is - I vacuumed.  I also started my laundry.

At some point in the midst of all of my vacuuming (how many times can I type that word in this post?) Kira started baking.  She's not done yet so I don't have photos at the moment, but she's given me some peanut butter dark chocolate sugar cookie something or others and they are GOOD.  I guess I have had cookies for dinner because I'm not hungry anymore and it's late.

So that was my day.  Busy, but good.  I hope you all are had a good day, as well.  ❤

Edited to Add:  My sweet Shadow noticed me totally crashing out and just put my laundry in the dryer for me without me even asking.  I have the best little family.  ❤

I know it's not easy to see our little Tort...

I know it's not easy to see our little Tort because I'm sitting far away in the shade, but Cubba ran over to check on him. Why is our little family so precious? 😭😍 The most drama in our house is among the cats. 😂😂😂 I can't recall us having an interspecies conflict aside from when Rose was here and nearing the height of her mental issues. For the most part our animal children have always been able to get along.

A certain little sexy boy is having a picnic today.

A certain little sexy boy is having a picnic today. He's also wearing that beak and his nails back down to an acceptable level. But he's having fun. 😊

Kira had an early appointment this morning...

Kira had an early appointment this morning and we were all awake afterwards so we went clothes shopping today. I am normally not a fan of shopping, but I had no good interview / professional-type clothes and I figured it was about time to change that. Almost no one was out as early as we were, either, so that was great.

We all ended up with some nice things, but the biggest shock of the day for me was that I picked up several button-down tops at Goodwill and all but 2 fit pretty nicely. I don't exactly like them, but I don't hate them or feel like a clown in them and that's about as close as I've ever come to feeling "ok" in "professional" clothing - especially since a lot of it is very feminine and I'm... well, not.

In my 20s I used to think that I was not cut out to be a professional-type person, but since college I've changed my mind about that. I'm smart and I have skills. So maybe I do like to be comfortable and I don't feel good if I'm forced to present too femininely, but there is probably a middle ground. If there is then I am going to find it - and I'm starting with these mostly muted-color and un-frilly button-downs.

Aside from that I need y'all to see this jacket that Shaun found for me. I couldn't tell you if this is what it's supposed to look like or not, but I love it as-is. The person working at Goodwill said it's only been there for about 3 days so I feel like I got stupid lucky to have gotten it. It's so colorful and looks so neat. I love it!

Good morning from here.

Good morning from here. I got up early enough to see the balloons. 😍😍😍

I woke up this morning...

I woke up this morning with pain on the right side of my head and neck. I went back to sleep immediately - noped right out of that. Unfortunately when I woke up again close to 1 I was nearing migraine territory. I had breakfast and migraine meds and just woke up again - at almost 8 pm.

I love wasting whole days like this. It's my favorite. 🙁

I had nightmares both last night and while I slept today. I need therapy.

My wonderful Shaun is making me dinner and maybe the rest of the day will be ok. Here's hoping.

Who named this?

Who named this? It's wrong on so many levels. 😂😬😳

I don't know why but my anxiety was up last night and still is today.

I don't know why but my anxiety was up last night and still is today.  I didn't sleep well and had nightmares again.  Shaun heard me making noise and woke me up when I started grinding my teeth.  His warm, heavy hand on my shoulder was so soothing.  He is my comfort and I love him so much.

I got up this morning and all I could think about was coloring in the lines of the mazes that me and Kira did in the puzzle book yesterday.  It felt so STUPIDLY URGENT to color the lines the rest of the way in.  I did it.  I didn't feel better, though.

I'm not feeling particularly energetic today, but it would be nice to skate.  However, the wind is up and it's dusty outside so I'm probably going to resign myself to doing house chores to see if I can burn off some of this nervous energy.  It would also probably feel nice to get something accomplished.

Shaun's making a frozen pizza for late lunch and I'll probably get busy after we eat that.  It's amusing and endearing hearing he and Kira fuss with each other over the pizza.  He is going to spice it and Kira's telling him to take it easy since I had some teeth removed recently.  Regardless of how I feel internally I feel the love in this house.

Anyway, I'm off to spend time with the fam.  Maybe today will feel better soon.  ❤

I'm exhausted, but today was good.

I'm exhausted, but today was good.

Shaun and I went to Lowe's this morning and we took Cubba and that turned out to be too exciting for him with the amount of other dogs in there.  He wants to meet and play with them so bad.  But when we take him to the dog park for expressly that purpose all he does is pee on things, sniff some butts, and go back to the gate to leave.  I don't get it.

After that Shaun and I had an impromptu date and it was really nice.  We went to this bistro called Lily & Liam and the food was crazy good.  Shaun got a chicken panini and salad, I got a potato, egg, and cheese burrito with red chile and it came with a side of beans, and we got a thing called a "Dutch Baby" to share.  The waiter described it as a cross between a crepe and pancake and I could see that.  It came with some sort of cream and fruit and it was really good - not too sweet.  We also got a round little piece of cheesecake and slice of tiramisu to go to try at home.  All were really tasty.

When we got home from our date Shadow was downstairs playing a game and shortly after Kira came down.  We see Shadow all the time, but Kira stays upstairs with her kitty Leon a lot.  She and I played in a puzzle book together for a bit, while Shadow and Shaun did video game stuff.  Then we all decided to put on a movie and Kira FINALLY let me paint her nails.  She's been asking me to do it for weeks (even going as far as picking out colors), but she's so elusive that it doesn't happen.  😂  Anyway, she's got purple toenails now and most of her fingers are a nude-looking holographic chrome with flakies in it.  Her ring fingers are reflective glitter with blurple flakies in it and that kind of ties in to her toes.  It's cute.

I even painted my nails this evening.  Last night I re-did my clear gel overlay while Shaun painted his fingernails.  Then I did his toes and he's got a dark berry color with reflective glitter on.  It looks great.  It's not really fair that he's got such beautiful feet and I have these little stumps with tiny toenails, but at least he likes his nails painted.  Shadow's the only one here who doesn't let me do his nails, but I used to have to sneak on him when he was young to clip them and he hated the way it felt so I get it.  He's done with me grooming him and that's ok.

The weather today was SPECTACULAR.  When I woke up this morning Shaun had opened the windows to the sun room and it felt really nice inside the house.  After we got home from our date it had warmed up a bit so we opened a couple more windows and the breeze was AH-mazing.  All we needed was the ceiling fan to stir it around and it was wonderful.  There are lots of birds out now, too, so it was nice to hear them loud and clear.  The house feels so fresh and cool and I love it.

Anyway.  Just kind of wanted to be able to look back and remember this really nice impromptu date and family hangout sesh one day.  I hope you all had a good one.  We did, but it was a full day and I'm headed to bed now.  Goodnight, friends.  ❤

Yesterday wasn't great.

Yesterday wasn't great. Nothing actually bad happened, but I had a headache and nausea. Not sure if my antibiotics were messing with me or what. Kira didn't feel well, either.

For now me and Shaun (and Cubba) are trying out our shade umbrella and chilling. It's 71° F and sunny and breezy out. We're checking out our outdoor plants and reading up on what they might need. Some of them look like they're bouncing back from winter on their own.

We've been here for over 6 months now and the worst weather we've experienced has been dust storms. What happens during a dust storm is lots of wind and a blocked or hazy view of the distance. Sometimes it makes us sneezy. I'll take that over endless rain, tornadoes, and Shaun's year-long allergies in Alabama any day.

Anyway. I'm just rambling. I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do with this day. I guess I'm off to figure that out. I hope you all are doing well. ❤️

What a view.

What a view. Thanks Cub. 😂😂😂

Kira just made...

Kira just made the most moist banana bread I've ever had in my life. The whole house smells amazing and it's SO GOOD. She should be resting from having teeth removed yesterday, but she's baking. Ah, to be 22 again. 😂

We've lost Harley.

We've lost Harley. Just can't find him anywhere. I sure hope he turns up... 😂