Cub's stomach seems to have somewhat settled for now, thank goodness.

Cub's stomach seems to have somewhat settled for now, thank goodness. But he has chosen Shaun as his person and there is no substitute. He just came to me with his ears back, looking sad. Wouldn't sit by me. Headed away from the couch so I followed. I tried to take him out. I offered him food. No. He wanted in Shaun's game room with him and was pitiful until he got in. Little sweet brat. 😂

Pupdate:

Pupdate:

Cubba is still having diarrhea. Shaun didn't find canned pumpkin yesterday, but got something for Cub from PetSmart. It didn't help. We got canned pumpkin this morning and he's been eating it. If we don't see improvement by tomorrow we're going to call the vet.

Yesterday was rough for me. I didn't sleep well the night before when I was on the couch and up with Cub every few hours through the night. I very nearly got a migraine and napped off and on all day yesterday.

Shaun decided to leave Cub's doggie door unlocked and sleep on the couch with him last night. I slept great in our room upstairs, but now Shaun's having a rough day today because he was awake off and on all night. Fun times around here.

Anyway, here's a pic of the pup resting. He loves blankets, too, so pardon the messy couch.

So... Cubba was up all night pooping.

So... Cubba was up all night pooping. Good thing I'm a light sleeper and quick to wake up because when he needed outside - he NEEDED outside. Poor buddy. His li'l tummy is MESSED UP.

Shaun and I had been wondering for days if he could've gotten into our hot sauce. We had some friends over on Sunday and ate nuggets with the Season 17 lineup of sauces from Hot Ones (on YouTube) and no one fed Cub anything hot. When I gathered the dirty dishes I wiped the leftover food into the trash can and rinsed the plates and a few minutes later put them into the dishwasher. I thought we'd been really careful.

With Cub's first round of diarrhea Shaun said it looked like it had some spices in it. This morning he also found a chewed napkin outside. So now we're thinking this bad boy might have somehow raided the trashcan. It has a pedal and closes immediately after you step off of it. It's metal and heavy and hasn't been knocked over. If Cub did get in there then he must've been careful. It wasn't overfilled with stuff sticking out - we know for sure that's a temptation and don't do that.

Anyway, that's our working theory at the moment about what's going on with our buddy, but if he's not feeling better soon then he'll see the vet this week. Here's a picture of him staring out of the window and questioning his life choices. 😂

Spices in question for reference:

https://heatonist.com/collections/hot-ones-packs-1/products/hot-ones-10-pack-season-17?variant=39528639692898

This boy had diarrhea in the carpet this morning.

This boy had diarrhea in the carpet this morning. His tummy is still rumbly and he's got some extra-smelly farts. I'm going to sleep on the couch with him so I can take him out if he needs to go in the night. We can tell he's not feeling 100%. 😞

Poor buddy. I hope he feels better tomorrow.

I went to work with Kira today so I could play with the kitties. 😻❤️

I went to work with Kira today so I could play with the kitties. 😻❤️

There's a white one with an underbite like a bulldog. Really sweet kitty, though. There's one named Lizzie with small ears. She gives kitty kisses when you pet her. I got a love nibble, too, and was surprised by it because she didn't have teeth. I later found out that she is older.

There's a big, poufy orange boy that Kira likes a lot. His name is Hobbs and he wanted desperately to be out in the catio, but they were locked in for the day because it was rainy. He complained a lot, poor fella. There's another orange boy named Oliver who plays until he passes right out - toy clutched in his paws. 😂 He's also funny because when he's ready to be petted he'll come and hug your leg. OMG - it melts me. And he has freckles on his nose. So precious! 

I spent most of the day fussing with Ethan - a solid black kitty who's determined to be in a lap. That's fine and good, but he smacks any other cat who comes near which sucks for me and the other cats because I was there to pet. 😂

There's also a litter of kittens and one reminds me of my boyfriend. He just looks at me with his eyes and I'm like "Dooon't!" 😂😂😂 He also likes to hide in a pineapple bed which is so damn cute I could die.

So anyway. That was my morning and I have no regrets. 😊😊😊

Shadow just found a baby hummingbird in the driveway.

Shadow just found a baby hummingbird in the driveway. It's got feathers, but not a full set. I offered our feeder to it and it didn't drink so we put it in a tree out front where we think they nest. We read that the mom's still feed them so we're going to keep an eye on it and hopefully it'll be ok. If not I'll see if there is a rescue around here for them.

Me and Shaun took Cub to the mailbox.

Me and Shaun took Cub to the mailbox. Then it turned into a walk around the "block" - aka whole subdivision. 😂 It was nice, though. It rained today so it was cool (62°F) and there were pretty clouds and the smell - it was amazing. If I had to guess I would say it smelled like Lavender and Sage and a little bit sweet. Monsoon season is being good to us. ❤️❤️❤️

STOCK UP

STOCK UP if you live in a state where your rights don't matter.

Be safe, be well, and let's look out for each other.

My Choice Emergency Contraceptive 1 Tablet

Today is an exciting day for me...

Today is an exciting day for me - my legal name change has gone through!

I know that there will be questions so I'm going to do my best to explain.

This has been in the works since 2016 - before Shaun and I were even engaged.  Of course it is traditionally expected for the wife in the relationship to give up their last name and take their husband's name upon marriage, but I truly loathe everything about the tradition of marriage.  That is a rant that I'm not interested in going into today, but suffice it to say that we signed up to be legal spouses rather than husband and wife - so why would we do anything else the traditional way?

I mean no ill will or hard feelings towards Shaun's relatives, but the Sexton name was not meant for me.  Everyone who knew Shaun's father knew that he was a deeply religious man. Anyone who knows me and Shaun well knows that we are atheists.  Unfortunately, that caused a fair bit of friction and Shaun's father expressed to us in no uncertain terms that Shaun (and eventually me, as well) not being in the church was bringing shame on the family name.  He would make comments or have us read passages or quotes along the same vein.

Us changing our names was not done in retaliation or to be petty - though we are not religious we are also not assholes.  We'd never want to shame his legacy and this separates us from it.  As skeptics, we require proof of a claim in order to change our beliefs and none was ever presented.  A person can't be forced to believe something they don't believe so we had an irreconcilable difference.  This doesn't mean that we don't believe we were loved or that we didn't love him in return - we did.  But this was undeniably a very sore spot for him.

Also, neither of us believe that a child should exist to fulfill a parent's expectation.  That is a heavy burden to bear.  We believe that our offspring are whole new people with different ideas and experiences and beliefs.  We encourage Shadow and Kira to be fully who they are and not only have they have been a pleasure to get to know, but our relationship with them is not strained.  It's a beautiful thing.

Speaking of the kids - I call them kids but they are 22 years old.  They are legal adults.  They are welcome to take our last name if they want it; however, both of them have expressed that they are happy with their names and that is 100% ok.

There are other practical reasons for this change, too.  Our names on the bills and the house and the cars and all of that are a mess.  Sometimes there is only space for one last name.  Sometimes one of us is put in the "notes" section.  This will clean that up entirely.  Not to mention that this is just another piece of our slow and beautiful combining to be a united front.  I love that even after almost 14 years together we are still happy and "all in" enough to want to do this.

So why Xenethos?  Shaun took the letters from Sexton and Stephens and mashed them up.  This was our favorite outcome.  It means "strange character" which does, indeed, fit us.

Why now?  I'd planned to change my name after college, but unfortunately Shaun's father passed away not long before I graduated.  Then we had estate stuff to handle and changing a name during that seemed like a bad idea.  Then we moved and needed to get settled and live here for 6 months before we could do it, so there was that.  Finally, the timing was right.

How do you say it?  Zen-e-thos  (I'll do this better, maybe.)

Funny Story:  We went to file our paperwork together and I turned mine in first and received my court date.  Shaun did his right after me and received an earlier court date by about 6 weeks.  So TECHNICALLY the universe did a little shit on my head and made me take his name after all, but it's all good.  I'm just happy it's done.  I've been Blu Xenethos in my head for 5+ years now.

If I missed anything with my explanation feel free to ask questions - I'm happy to answer!

How he looks...

How he looks before he runs out of patience and tries to climb up in the chair with me:

I love that dirt roads through the mesa...

I love that dirt roads through the mesa are actually marked with street names and show up on Google maps.

Also, I thought the Sandias looked pretty today. 😊

Harley. 🤦🏻

Harley. 🤦🏻

He usually goes so deep under the couch cover that he's just a lump, but today he's peeking out a bit.

He's been SUPER into the last piece of cat furniture I got. He likes the enclosed bottom space. But I guess nothing will ever beat a good blanket fort. 😂

My ridiculous boyfriend. Just look at him.

My ridiculous boyfriend. Just look at him.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table trying to get some things done. I have my feet propped up in the chair opposite me, and I have a blanket over my legs because they are chilly.

Scar cried and cried and stood up and patted me and tried his best to get all of my love and attention. I just couldn't give it to him. So he got in the chair opposite of me and crawled into my lap. He's in a sort of accidental-hammock situation with my leg blanket at the moment, but he's quiet now.

Whatever works. 😂😂😂

I really don't know how we're gonna get up, though. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. 😂😂😂

I have a lot of things that I want to finish before September...

I have a lot of things that I want to finish before September so I've been in my head a lot lately - too paralyzed to do the things I need / want to.  Too paralyzed to even have fun.  But today was good!  🙂

Shaun woke me up with a text asking if I wanted to go to my favorite tea place and OF COURSE I did!  Got a nice burrito while I was there, too.  Since we were only hitting the drive-through we let Cub ride with us.  Usually they give him a treat, but today they didn't.  Don't worry - we made up for it.  🙂

After we got home and ate and chilled a bit I painted Shaun's nails.  His toenails are a pretty purple / blue / green shifting polish with reflective glitter in so it will LIGHT UP in the right light.  I might get a picture for y'all.  His fingernails are just plain black gel.  He can do something nicer over that if he wants.  He's got a whole stash of polish in his favorite colors.

About the time I finished up doing nails Cubba was in my face talking.  😂😂😂  He does this breathy huff thing when he's restless / playful and it's pretty cute.  We could tell he wanted something and it was a bit late, but not dark so we took him to the park close by.  It was probably in the high 60s°F out there and a bit humid because we could see the rain coming, but it felt nice.  We also had the park to ourselves!

Cubba walked with Shaun.  I walked with them, too, but I also swung on the swings and went down the slide.  I don't care - I will swing every chance I get.  It's fun and it makes me laugh and I like it.  I can't wait until we get a big sturdy swing set put in our yard.

Anyway, as we were leaving Shadow arrived.  Cubba was NOT a fan of leaving a member of the family behind, but he was good and got in the car.  After we got home I showered and now here I am listening to a thunderstorm and trying to catch up on some internetting.

It's been a pretty chill day and that's nice.  I'm hoping I finish what I need to do and get some sleep.  Kira's going to work tomorrow at the cat rescue and I'm allowed to tag along and volunteer so that will probably be fun.

I hope you all are doing well!  I'm really going to try to get out of my head and make the most of this week.  Have a good night!  ❤

I hear the weather is scorching in Alabama.

I hear the weather is scorching in Alabama. With the clouds and the rain we're at a nice 75°F right now. Y'all stay safe and hydrated. Heat sickness feels bad. 🙁

Monsoon season is here!

Monsoon season is here!

I love living somewhere that I can enjoy the rain instead of fearing it. In Anniston my house and yard flooded constantly. The rain nourished my pecan trees so well that the limbs were heavy and fell on my house. It also made my grass grow stupid fast and thick which added a hard chore for me to tackle. The humidity made it nearly impossible to dry anything completely. It was so stressful.

I love desert life. Thunderstorms and rain pass through and now it's just relaxing, cooling background noise. We have arroyos to keep flooding from happening when it comes down too fast. Humidity doesn't stick around and if the rain comes earlier in the day we get rainbows. Not much to complain about, really.

We're getting close to being in our new home for a year now and I still love it so much. I'm happier and less stressed than I've been in ages. Sorry, not sorry for the mushy post. I'm just looking out of my window and feeling grateful. ❤️

Look, I have a thing for teeth with character.

Look, I have a thing for teeth with character. Yes, I had braces and had my teeth pulled and straightened and filed and "perfected" as a teenager, but I'm not sure if it was something I wanted versus needed done. I know I had a serious crowding problem, though.

Anyway, Shaun's teeth are sharp and pointy and not quite straight and I'm SUPER attracted to them. It's ridiculous, but I look at his teeth a lot. Sometimes I touch them and sometimes I kiss them. They just make me so happy!

Before Kira got braces she had a large gap in the front where a tooth never grew. I thought it was fucking precious, but she was self-conscious about it and wanted braces and it's her body, her choice so braces she got! While I miss her gap I love seeing her smile with confidence now. Her smile has always been too beautiful to hide. 

I'm writing this because I just saw a Lizzo video and realized that her teeth are adorable to me, as well. Cher (before she had all of the work done) had AMAZING teeth. Jewel is another one who's teeth I loved before the work. Nick Jonas has wonderful teeth, too. Oddly, I do not like Tom Cruise's teeth.

So we watched Shoresy and clearly Jared Keeso is really missing that tooth IRL and IT IS GIVING. ME. LIFE. I love it! It is so goddamn cute! I might have to watch the series over again because I didn't get enough the first go 'round. I am not even kidding. 😂

Anyway, I am not hating on perfected smiles so please don't think that. But I do wish more people were confident in their uniqueness because I promise there are those of us out here who love and appreciate it. ❤️❤️❤️

Today has been hard.

Today has been hard. I think my hormones are out of whack. I'm cramping and bleeding heavy and extremely low-energy. I didn't make it out of bed until 4:30 this afternoon and I'm pretty sure I only got up because Shaun came to check on me. After that I took a shower and then we went and had a dinner date. It was nice.

Once we got home we shared dessert and watched So You Think You Can Dance. It's not a sad show, but I cried all through it. I also laughed excessively hard at Kira sneezing and Shadow parking his car in a way that blocked Shaun from getting into the garage. I'm all over the damn map and it's exhausting. I'm already ready to go back to bed.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a bit better. I hope you all are doing well. ❤️

This is my snuggle buddy Adrian, but...

This is my snuggle buddy Adrian, but she's doing the most today and running me out of the bed. I have been kneaded about the head, face, neck, and chest with needle claws to my absolute breaking point. This tiny torturer better be thankful she's so cute and otherwise sweet. 😂😂😂

I suppose this is the second...

I feel like I should probably get on with my "Sabrina's Birthday Story" post before my brain loses it.  So here we go...

We ended at "relaxing in the pool," correct?  After eating and pool time and Sabrina being a good hostess and talking to everyone the guests left.  It was at this point that Sabrina said she'd over-done it the past few days and that she was in pain.  She said that her choices were to hurt or to take a pain pill.  I told her she should take something for the pain and go take a nap.  And, well... she did half of that.

She took a pain pill and got hungry.  To be noted here:  She has a lot of issues with her stomach so she doesn't always have an appetite... so when she does she takes full advantage of it.  I completely understand that.  She made a hot dog and took it to her room.  She sat on her bed (that's where she almost always is) with the plate in front of her and took a bite.  Then she sat the hot dog down and then started nodding off on it while still sitting up.  At this point I figured I'd hang with Beth and let Sabrina get some rest so I went to the living room to do Beth's nails.

Me and Beth posted up on the couch with all of my supplies at the ready.  I began by attempting to soak off the gel polish I'd put on her back in March.  All of a sudden Sabrina stomped down the hall while dragging her hand along the wall for balance (it's just the way she walks) and she went to the kitchen to make more food.  On the way back she mumbled something about us coming back there to hang out with her, but I told her I thought she should sleep.  This happened several more times while I worked on Beth's nails.

Well, Beth's polish did not come off easy.  It took a decent amount of soaking and buffing, but I was making progress when Beth started nodding off on me, too.  She apologized a few times and then eventually gave in to it - putting a towel over her face and full-on laying down on the couch.  As I went to see what the clearly-awake Sabrina was up to I thought to myself "At least I got her old polish off."  (Sabrina had been teasing me that I forgot to leave them acetone and that they looked like they had been playing in Satan's bootyhole, so...)

Got to Sabrina's room and she was still eating and nodding.  She would talk to me and then crash, like a robot being booted up and then powered off.  I was able to get from her that she wanted her old polish off (which I knew, but right now?!) so I worked on one hand while she ate with the other between bouts of crashing out.  I asked her why she didn't just sleep and she said it was because I came a long way to see her and she wanted to hang out.  Ok, I guess.

Meanwhile, the kids were asking me to get them a hotel and I explained that I was a little busy and that they should tag Shaun in for help with that.  They did, thank goodness, and by the time I was finished cleaning Sabrina's nails he had them a hotel booked and a Google map address sent to me.  I can't possibly express to you all how much I love this human being.  He makes my life easier even when I'm miles away.

ANYWAY... both Beth and Sabrina had clean nails at this point.  Thank goodness.  Then Sabrina asked me to paint hers again.  I commenced the painting while she nodded in and out of consciousness.  So... painting an unconscious person's nails isn't as easy as removing polish because fresh polish needs to be dried or hardened.  Thank goodness I was using gels because there is no way this would have worked at all with a regular polish.

THEN TO MY SURPRISE Beth woke up and came into Sabrina's room and asked me to paint hers, too.  "Well, ok.  Why not?" I thought.  So I finished Sabrina's and started on Beth's.  Then Sabrina full-on laid down and went to sleep.  Not long after, Beth followed suit (though she was facing Sabrina and they ended up snoozing head-to-feet on their backs).  So I was just standing there at the side of the bed painting nails on a floppy hand and having to literally put Beth's hand in and out of my lamp.  Like, I knew she was up at the butt-crack of morning and I knew she was doing most of the cooking and all that, but I really thought that after her nap she'd be awake.  I was super wrong.

After doing nails a new adventure began:  Taking the kids to the hotel.

First of all - driving at night is not my favorite regardless; driving at night in an unfamiliar place is even worse.  But the kids needed a clean, chill space in which to decompress so I sucked it up and helped them pack the car.  Sabrina woke up to tell them goodbye and thank them for coming and she apologized and hoped it wasn't her that was the reason they were leaving.  I think everyone parted on good terms so that was great.  I opened the link Shaun sent to the hotel and away we went!

The hotel was only 8 minutes away... supposedly.  It took us much longer.  There was construction, I was driving on the interstate to this 8-minute-away place, there were several of these hotels in a clump with the same main name, and one road was called something different on the map than in real life.  It was a GREAT time.  I (unknowingly) stopped in the middle of an intersection.  When Shadow pointed it out I almost turned the wrong way down a one-way street to escape - he saved the day on that one, too.  It was just insanity.  But we somehow made it safely to the (correct) hotel.

I got the kids checked in and walked them to their room and then started my journey back to Sabrina's.  I wanted to fill up my gas tank in the cool of the night rather than the heat of the day when I was leaving the next day so I stopped at a Circle K.  They didn't take cards at the pump and that pissed me off so I left.  Google said there was another gas station 400 feet away.  Google lied.  I drove straight until I found one (I didn't mind the breather and the quiet so why the hell not?)

I found a gas stationed that looked clean and mostly empty.  Sabrina had given me money to get her some cigarettes so I went in for that and to grab some water and a tea for myself.  The tea I wanted was wayyy up high were I couldn't reach it so I asked a youth to help me.  He seemed happy to, thank goodness.  Then I filled up the car and headed back to Sabrina's.

Ok, look.  At this point I was EXHAUSTED.  I had barely slept the night before.  Aside from the noise of the house and Sabrina and Beth, there was noise from the street and I also had nightmares.  Also, Beth's room was freezing, but under the blanket I was sweating out all of my precious fluids - there was NO happy medium.  THEN there was being around all of the people, and worrying about the kids who clearly wanted out of there ASAP after the pool, and the smoke was making me feel shitty, and the adrenaline of being bad at driving in the city at night... anyway, what I'm saying is that I did something dumb so just give me a break.

I navigated back to Sabrina's neighborhood and drove around for a while - not on purpose.  Street names and numbers were starting to look familiar.  I was thinking to myself "I'm pretty. fucking. sure. she lives like, right here somewhere.  What the fuck is up with my phone?"  It was at that moment I got a text from Kira asking if I was back yet and if I was ok.  I paused in the empty street and replied to her that I was close, but couldn't quite find the house.  Then I checked my data... and it was off.  *facepalm*  Google was doing its best and got me as close at it could, but I guess it didn't have the exact data point so it had me circling her house.  Wow.  Just fucking wow.  LMAO

I was like, 10 feet away from her house when I figured out what was going on.  I was so flustered that I just needed a minute.  I called and talked to Shaun for a few in the car before I went back in the house.  I missed his voice and his face and all of him so I just needed that phone call.  Beth popped out the front door and I told her I was on the phone and would be in shortly.  I think she said she'd leave it unlocked for me, but I really didn't know or care by that point.

Anyway, got up the 'nads to go back in.  Sabrina and Beth were, by this point, completely rested and refreshed!  O_O  Beth wanted to do karaoke!  I hated to be a downer, but with my drive the next day and all that I just wanted to get some rest.  I hung out and snacked and chatted and then went back to the ice box to sleep.  (I did tell Beth I'd be happy to take the couch and she could have her room, but she said she was awake and would probably be cleaning and noisy so I'd better take her room again.  So I did.)

And then I had a lovely and refreshing sleep with no interruptions.

Hahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It must have been before 6 in the morning when Beth snuck in her room with a flashlight again.  It might have been close to 7 when she and Sabrina loudly argued about when I needed to wake up to get the kids.  Beth was sure I needed to get up right then so I could get them by 11.  Sabrina said it was too early to wake me up and to let me sleep.  No one considered that I might have set an alarm on my phone for myself.

I'm not sure what time it was when Beth came in again, but she did.  And not with a flashlight, either.  She busted in her room, turned the light on, and almost yelled from the door "I'm leaving now, Blu, it was great to see you, I hope I get to see you again soon, thanks for coming, etc.," while I was on my stomach straining my neck to look at her, eyes squinting, trying to reply though she wasn't really pausing.  Then she turned off the light and disappeared.

Next thing I know (I must have dozed back off) Sabrina was knocking on the door saying it was 9:30 and I should probably get up to get the kids.  "Ok!" I replied.  Then I laid there - thinking my alarm would go off at any minute since it was 9:30 and that is what I set it for.  It never did.  I looked at my phone and it was 8:57.  "What in the actual fuck is going on around here?!" I screamed internally - and then got up.

Beth actually did make it back before I left so she got to see me off.  Leaving wasn't too hard.  I had gathered up all of my stuff the night before and they couldn't accidentally keep me because they knew I had a deadline to get the kids.  So... I gathered my stuff and away I went!

I found the hotel much easier the second go around.  We stopped and got fast-food breakfast before leaving Phoenix.  One of the kids said Phoenix reminded them of Grand Theft Auto - and I could TOTALLY see that.  LMAO  We ate and then had a beautiful scenic drive back and the kids were like "What the fuck?!" and laughing as they recounted their experiences from the last couple of days.  We made it home and I was SUPER HAPPY to see my husbang.  I smelled terrible and took a shower almost immediately and me and the kids threw all of our clothes from the trip in the washer together shortly after that.  It took two washes to get the cigarette funk out of our clothes.  It took me several days to get it out of my head.  It also took me a couple of days of sleep / laying alone in my bed to recharge my battery enough to do chores or really interact with anyone else.

The kids were happy to be home.  Kira was so excited to see her kitty wuss.  Shadow was pretty chill and didn't say much other than that he wrote down some of the shit Sabrina said because it was so amusing - like "You can't get high enough to make Spongebob.  Fuckin' squirrel in an astronaut suit under the sea? What kind of fucked up shit is that?"

I guess that reminds me of a little Sabrina story of my own and it's the perfect ending to this blog.  While chatting before I left, Sabrina asked me "Have you ever been so fucking mad at yourself?  Like goddamn."  And I was like "I don't know.  Why?"  And she said this:  "Before I woke up I was dreaming I was on a pier out on the water.  And it was so perdy and peaceful.  And sometimes you gotta spit, you know?  So I got up this super big, nasty wad of spit and I spit it out into the water.  But the problem was, I was laying on my back in my bed - I wuttn' out on no pier - and I spit all over my own face.  That's so fuckin' fucked up, man. I was mad as hell."

Ooh, look at this neat thing I just found!

Ooh, look at this neat thing I just found (with the bottom of my bare foot, but I'm ok)! I'm definitely putting this in my hoard of things. 😂 Toothpick for scale.

Almost everyone is trying this thing out today.

Almost everyone is trying this thing out today.

Balthazar had to try the top AND the bottom. 😂😂😂

I wasn't gonna post this, but Kira and Shaun both complimented my photo.

I wasn't gonna post this, but Kira and Shaun both complimented my photo. I scored this cat thing at a friend's yard sale and apparently Tobi and Bastian like it. I figured it would get some use around here.

My first "only found here" Blu.FYI post

This site is obviously a work in progress.  I've found that no matter what platform I end up using - be it MySpace, Facebook, etc., - I end up blogging.  Apparently, writers gonna write. 🤷  Long ago I copied my content from MySpace and now I'm re-claiming what I can from Facebook by visiting their "Memories" section every day.  I am (THANKFULLY!) almost half-way through a year of this project.  But this post - this is a Blu.FYI original.  It's about a weekend visiting friends and I... I don't want to blast them on Facebook, but this story needs out of me.

One more thing before I begin:  It is not meant to be mean-spirited.  I love the main character and I know that she's going through a lot, but fuck if this shit isn't entertaining.  So without further ado...

Backstory:  I was raised a little redneck trailer-park kid.  I don't want to act like I was ostracized for not embracing that life, but 100% I was a gray sheep.  Thankfully, the only part of that upbringing that stuck was my southern accent; I can't hear it, but everyone else can.  In Alabama I was often asked where I was from - so I know I don't straight-up sound like cornbread, but people who are not from the south can definitely tell I'm from there.

Anyway, as kids my brother and I had a babysitter named Sabrina.  Ooh, she is a whole story and I hope I get to tell you all about her one of these days, but for now just know that our moms were the best of friends for a large portion of our childhoods and that she was only 5 years older than me.  She was so much more mature than we were, though.  She was also a little bad.  I liked her a lot.

I remember random things about her time babysitting us.  Like that time she was sure that "suppost" was a word and didn't believe me when I told her it was "supposed to."  I remember her letting us smoke our parents' cigarette butts because we wanted to try it.  I remember the name of her first serious boyfriend - Joshua Shane Brown.  I remember her reading the "POW!" and "BAM!" and such words for my brother when he watched Batman on TV.  I remember her always doing weird stuff with the toilet paper and I found out recently that she was making a pipe to smoke weed with from the cardboard roll.  I remember her combing her hair until she built up static and then holding the comb near a small stream of water and it bending.  I remember one time she let me ride her horse and then put food it in it's dish and it started running towards the electric fence and I thought it wouldn't stop and I'd be electrocuted so I jumped off it and got her ass beaten.  So. many. memories.

Eventually we got old enough that we didn't need a babysitter and our moms stopped being friends and time went on.  Social media wasn't a thing 20 years ago so we lost touch because it was easy to do.  But a few years ago I came across her on Facebook and we reconnected.  And it felt nice - not like a friend relationship, but family.  She had moved 2 hours away from our hometown and asked me to come visit - I finally had a car that would take me so I did.  And let me tell you - we spent the WHOLE NIGHT talking and catching up.  It was insane.  Neither of us had planned for it to turn into a sleepover, but we talked until 5 in the morning and I was exhausted so I told my husbang that I needed some sleep before driving home.  It was great, plus some other stuff that I'll write about later.  I have a couple of other visits that I hope to write about eventually.  But for now let me try to focus.

Frontstory:  My visit previous to the one I am writing about now was in Phoenix, AZ.  Sabrina and I had both moved to a more western location so it wasn't an Alabama to Arizona drive.  It was actually only 6 - 7 hours away from me and quite scenic.  A note:  At some point after her move she told me on the phone that she was terminally ill.  So at that visit when she asked me "If I'm still alive on my birthday will you come back for a birthday party?"  "Hell yeah!" was my response.  And this is how that went down.

Sabrina had already met and hung out with Kira and Shaun.  She met Shadow when he was a baby... random chance encounters at the grocery store with my mom and stuff like that.  Since she was having an actual birthday party with cake and swimming and all that she really wanted the whole family to come and celebrate with her.  Unfortunately, Leon still needed injections every 24 hours and regardless of that we needed someone to watch the animals so Shaun stayed behind to care for everyone.  The kids and I headed out about 1:30 Friday afternoon.

The drive was, of course, beautiful.  Kira sat up front most of the way and we chatted and talked.  Shadow chilled in the back and listened to music.  They both took pictures of the scenery along the way.  It was pretty pleasant.  And then we got to Sabrina's.

It was close to 10 pm and I was so tired.  I knew what I was getting into from previous visits and I tried to brace the kids for it without making them dread the trip.  I was, let's just say... ineffective.

A little backstory here:  I don't drink or smoke.  Neither do the kids.  Shaun rarely drinks and if he does it's to chill his nerves - not to get drunk.  I grew up with an alcoholic dad and parents who smoked cigarettes all the time in our presence and probably pot when we weren't around.  My mom tried to keep me shielded from alcohol and pot and anything else; I ended up trying to keep Shadow away from it all because I know that addiction runs in our family.  Kira was exposed to a lot of things before we got her, but that never meant she was comfortable with it.  Alcohol, of course, is legal and now marijuana is, too.  I'm ok with that fact (for real I am - even though I'm not a fan of rooms full of smoke or being the only sober person at a place), but cigarettes?  Ew.  The secondhand smoke still makes me feel awful.

Since I won't get far in this story if I have to tell you every time a drug is consumed - let me try my best to describe it now.  I need to convey to you that the smoking was continuous - if not from Sabrina, then from her roommate, Beth.  It was going on CONSTANTLY.  I don't know how else to be clear that Sabrina chain-smoked cigarettes all day, as well as smoked several joints - and both of those things on top of chasing vodka with Gatorade all through the day.  There was LITERALLY almost never a time she was without a drug in her hand.  And like, I'm not mad at that - her body, her choice.  The alcohol wasn't a big deal at all - at this point she drinks to be normal.  But she wasn't supposed to be smoking in the house (she told me at my previous visit that her landlord didn't want her to) and it would've been super cool for us if she could have avoided it, as well.  But that is not what happened.

We arrived at Sabrina's house and you could smell the smoke outside before the door even opened.  Kira was like "OMG.  I can smell it already!"  I don't think I realized that before (or either it wasn't that bad at that point), but it was certainly true now.  But we were there, tired, and had a party to attend the next day so we went ahead in.

Sabrina mentioned that she wanted her nails done, but we arrived too late...  Beth mentioned that she was going to make tacos, but we'd gotten there so late...  I apologized for coming late, but we tried our best.  However, the kids are almost always up for food and made it known so Kira volunteered to help Beth in the kitchen.  Off she and Beth went to get to know each other and make tacos.  Shadow and I stayed in Sabrina's lair (her bedroom with all the things she needs where she spends most of her time) and Sabrina asked Shadow some "getting to know you" type of questions.  Not off to a bad start!  Everything was chill, we hung out and had tacos, and got ready for bed shortly after a long day in the car.

Sabrina and Beth had pulled out the sofa in the living room for the kids to sleep on.  Beth told me I could sleep in her room and she'd bunk with Sabrina.  Sounded like a plan to me!  And we all went to bed and had a peaceful night's sleep.

Ha.

First of all, I was barely asleep when Beth entered her room with a flashlight looking for something she'd forgotten.  No biggie - it happens.  Finally, I was able to drift off to sleep again, but what felt like only a few hours later I was re-awoken... by the sound of someone shoveling gravel?!  "Wtf?!," I thought.  Then I heard a voice outside asking what was going on.  Beth replied that she was shoveling the gravel before it got hot.  It went on a few more minutes and then I heard another voice speak to her and Beth explained it yet again.  TWO NEIGHBORS COMPLAINED TO HER FACE about gravel-shoveling at this hour and BETH DID NOT STOP!  I didn't check my phone, but did peel back the black-out curtain and IT WAS BARELY DAYLIGHT.  AND BETH WAS OUTSIDE SHOVELING GRAVEL IN THE FRONT YARD.

Ooo-kay then.  Beth finally finished and I managed somehow to go back to sleep.  Not long after that Sabrina started vomiting.  (She's terminally sick and this happens.  Often.)  But does she really have to wretch and practically scream with every heave?  I don't know.  She might.  It might really hurt to vomit in her condition.  But the fact that she is loud no matter what makes me think it's just the way she lives her life.

After that pleasant wake up I drifted off again - only to be awakened by Beth loudly stomping through the kitchen and making breakfast.  By this point I'd received a text from Kira stating that they would need a hotel tonight.  I asked why and got the whole spiel - the gravel-raking, the vomiting, people stomping through the living room where they were trying to sleep to get to the kitchen.  Understood, kiddos.  Let's just try to get through the party.

This party, btw, was set to start at 10:30.  IN THE MORNING.  I don't think I've ever in my life heard of a birthday party that started so early, but ok.  I got up at 8-something and Beth was running around prepping food and cooking.  Then she left to run some errands.  I sat with the kids and tried to get my bearings and eat my oatmeal.  Then we needed to fold up the couch and get the living room ready for people.

Sabrina asked me to do her nails before her guests arrived (soak off 3-month-old gel and put on new when your guests are due in 15 minutes?  Not happening, but we can try, I guess.)  I wrapped her fingers with foil in cotton balls and acetone.  The doorbell rang.  She opened the door, then screamed "Oh shit, let me get my dogs!" while running them to the door to go out back.  Then she said "I'm sorry, Blu, I can't do this shit right now!" and tore off the foil-covered cotton balls and threw them in the trash.  She went back to greet her guest and a picture in a frame to the left of the door chose that moment to crash to the floor, breaking glass shards all into the dog bed underneath.  I cleaned that up while she spoke to her guest.  Then another arrived (without incident).

Pretty soon everyone that was coming was there and we were instructed to make ourselves a plate of food and eat it.  After that was done Sabrina called us to behold her beautiful cake, lit some sparklers and stood them in a shot glass behind it (she didn't want candles stuck in it), and proceeded to sing an impromptu "Happy Birthday to me ... rednecks are great ... thank you for being here ... something something else ... " song before cutting and handing out cake.

Let me point out real quick that I grew up in chaos with people around all the time.  My mom had a bad temper and didn't like to be embarrassed or refused so I was completely used to having my comfort ignored and I guess I can revert back to "survive this without making a scene" mode sometimes.  I ate hamburgers even though I don't eat beef.  I ate the food even though Kira told me no one had been washing their hands while preparing it.  I ate the cake even though Sabrina licked the knife she was cutting it with.  These things would have been uncomfortable for me regardless, but there is still a pandemic going on too, you know?  But I did the things.  I did them, ok?

Kira snacked on our gas-station snacks from the trip.  Shadow ate the food.  Then they both hit the pool and I joined a bit later - just sitting on the edge of the pool and dangling my feet in at first.  Beth was all in and Sabrina wanted to be, but was talking to her guests.  We squirted each other with water guns and just chilled.  This, for us, was the best and most calming part of the visit.

I REALLY want to write more, but I feel like this is gonna be at least a two-parter.  I'm sorry, y'all.  Just typing all of this out has been exhausting.  Stay tuned.

I need to take a minute and come on here and brag about Kira.

I need to take a minute and come on here and brag about Kira.  Her therapist gave her some recommendations for places to look for jobs a couple of weeks ago and now she's got two part-time gigs that she seems to like.  We are so proud of her!

She's still got some health struggles that she's working through so we definitely don't want her to over-do it, but you know since Leon got sick he's on that bougie wet food now.  She said she's out here providing for "me, myself, and Leon."  😆😂😂😂

I am so happy when she comes home all hyped up and feisty and ready to talk about her day.  😆  She's too funny and it's great to see her happy and proud of herself.

Anyway, she's the best girl and I needed to let y'all know it.  I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.  ❤

I was in my bed...

I was in my bed - enjoying being lazy and chillin' and scrolling - when Adrian (my snuggle buddy) decided to caress my face. She does this frequently and I think it's adorable and sweet so I never stop her.

But this time... This time a kitty claw got hung in my nostril. When I tell you it hurt - I mean tears involuntary ran down my face and then I sneezed. 😂😂😂

The sneeze didn't bother her, but apparently me blowing my nose afterwards did. She launched herself off the bed, giving me a bleeding nippy-nop in the process.

Ok, universe. Hints taken. I'm up. 😂😂😂

Walked in on Bastian and Balthazar...

Walked in on Bastian and Balthazar hanging out almost perfectly mirrored.

Please watch this with the volume up. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Please watch this with the volume up. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I literally have tears from laughing so hard. 🤣🤣🤣

This pig took too much corn mash.

Look at this precious girl!

Look at this precious girl! Her new (larger) house FINALLY arrived today. We ordered it over a week ago and I guess it went on vacation before arriving here. 😂😂😂

Anansi is busy decorating her new home with webs. I love watching her do that! 😍😍😍

I had my interview today for the Holy Grail of jobs...

I had my interview today for the Holy Grail of jobs that I want... and I was told I'd be getting a call back for the 2nd round.  😁😁😁

I'm not superstitious, but I really don't want to say much more than that at this time.  Just know that I was so excited that I barely slept last night, I'm super duper tired today, and I'm trying my best not to get a let-down migraine about it.  I can tell my body is having feelings, but so far I'm ok.  I've been resting a lot and trying to stay chill.  Hopefully, I'll get some good sleep tonight!

I hope you all are doing well!  ❤