Having a ramble about how things are going.

Having a ramble about how things are going.

I officially start my new position next week, which is exciting.  I'm having a bit of anxiety because right now I'm stuck in "transition mode," which is an ADHD thing that apparently not even my meds are eliminating (although I am sure they're helping.  One hundred percent, I'd be a complete mess without them).

I have a lot of unanswered questions, but orientation is next week and I'm sure things will be much clearer after that... but for now I do feel a bit anxious.  At least it's not intolerable, shut-down, non-functional anxiety.

I've heard that there may be a probationary period before I can start my hybrid work-from-home schedule, but I'm really hoping that's not the case; or at least if there is, I hope it's not a long period.  During the week I wake up, get ready for work and drive for an hour, work my hours, then drive for an hour back home.  Twice a week I have teaching/office hours for CNM, so I do that.  But otherwise, I have a snack, stay awake for maybe an hour, and then I hit my "ideal fall asleep" window and just crash and go to bed.  That doesn't leave much time for anything else.

This is do-able for a while, and I am absolutely doing much better than I would be without medication.  Without meds, I'd be running on empty and depending on adrenaline (which means I'd be putting things off until the last minute, my schedule would be slipping and I'd be struggling to be on-time to anywhere, I wouldn't be able to focus at work unless I was SUPER interested in what I was doing, unable to plan, etc.), so this is ok.  This opportunity is important and I am happy to prioritize it right now, but I will definitely be relieved and be able to have more of a life once things settle, and I am looking forward to that.

One thing that I am enjoying about my commute (besides the beautiful views and feeling like I'm REALLY here) is that I've had some time to catch up with friends/family who are awake and willing to call me/answer my calls.  I've spent the last year, at least, being so burned out that socializing was last on the list and didn't happen much... or if it did, it didn't come easily.  So this is better.  Overall, even though things are still in transition I feel a lot more balanced than I ever have, and because of that I feel super optimistic about the future.

Also, just FYI, I feel like I'm doing a great job at the internship, which I'm sure is what got me the job offer.  Also, I'm able to show off my left-handed super power, which is writing with my left hand and mousing with my right.  Presenting and note-taking has never been so efficient!  😆