They're big birds now, up in the rafters!

They're big birds now, up in the rafters!

The babies have left the nest.

The babies have left the nest. They are now on my table in the greenhouse, poopin' it up.  Is this their messy teenager phase? 😂

They spent the whole night on my stand fan in the greenhouse. It hasn't been turned on yet. They got down onto the table once daylight came.

I think their parents are trying to lure them to the window opening above the door. I think it won't be much longer before they leave for good, or at least for most of the day.

I had a bunch of flowers today. Lots of pink and a few yellow. It's very nice. 😊

Last night was a bit rough.

Last night was a bit rough.

Scar had diarrhea just about every hour last night, so I was up cleaning after him every hour.  At one point, (TMI), I did, too.  I'd eaten something spicy earlier and I guess it needed a speedy exit.  But at least we had diarrhea together.  He would go and then I'd be like "Me, too, buddy.  At least yours isn't spicy."  😆

Everyone loved on him today.  He ate so many treats.  He sat in my lap like the most important cat (alone, without having to fight for his seat).  I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm gonna tell it again:  He was so possessive of me that  if another cat sat in my lap, he would ALWAYS get closer to my body and squeeze in between us until he'd wedged the other cat further away, or they would just get aggravated with his attempt to squeeze in and leave.  😆  He was such a character.

Today, Shadow went with us to see Scar off.  It is the first euthanasia he's ever attended.  I don't know why he chose this one.  He loved Scar, but he also loved all of the previous pets we've lost, too.  Maybe he's just matured to where it didn't seem scary anymore.  He took it well and said it was the best death he's been aware of.  We've spent the last 20 years surrounded by animals, so he's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm glad that it wasn't traumatizing for him.  He petted Scar and rubbed my shoulder and has his own tears, too.  Then we picked up some lunch and ate together at home.

Speaking of Shadow, last night I was super hungry after I laid down so I got up and came back downstairs to find something to eat.  Shadow heard me come down and followed to see if everything was ok.

I feel like I'm more of a scavenger than anything, so I was about to heat up a baked sweet potato that Shaun had baked for me a few days prior.  Shadow was like "Are you really trying to eat that potato that has been sitting there for two days?"  And I was like, "Yeah.  It's not even open.  It should be fine."  And he was like "Please don't.  I don't need you sick tomorrow."  And I was like "True."  So I tossed it and microwaved a new one; which he was sure to tell me to poke holes in so that it doesn't explode.

Shadow and Kira are all about food safety, and me and Shaun are much less so.  But I got parented by my own son about it last night.  He was like "Get your shit together, Mom!"  (Jokingly, of course.)  It was pretty funny.  These kids are the best.  ❤

It's been a big day for the baby doves.

It's been a big day for the baby doves. They're moving around now. Most of these clips are less than a minute long.

They got into my baby Teddy Bear Cholla and got a piece back into the nest. We went and removed it and then moved my cart of nursery plants out so they don't do that again.

Also, there is no water in my bucket. We're trying to minimize danger for them as they get out and explore.

Shaun has been camera-spying all day. 😂

First Flaps:

Big streeetch!

Test flight:

Feeding time!

That was a baby on the table!

They're mobile!

Good parent

Exploring

Tomorrow is my old man's final appointment.

Tomorrow is my old man's final appointment.

We had a pretty good night, all things considered.

Since I learned that diarrhea was inevitable, I stopped trying to prevent it. I put out his dry food, I gave him wet food, and I also gave him treats. I did have to clean up diarrhea a couple of times during the night, but because he had dry food available, he didn't wake me for feedings. He didn't have to feel hungry and I got almost-decent sleep.

Obviously I'm sad to lose my guy, but having a plan and having a couple of days to think things through feels so much better than losing one of them in an urgent way. We have a plan. He's not in serious decline or suffering. He might be uncomfortable, but that's as bad as I'm going to let him feel.

I hope he knows how loved he is. I'm trying to make his last day as great as I can. ❤️

My kitty cat/kitty brat/boyfriend has cancer.

My kitty cat/kitty brat/boyfriend has cancer.

He's still himself. Still sassy and bossy and bratty. Still loves on me and acts normal. Still alert and interested in things.

But his food isn't moving through his digestive tract like it should. He's stuffed full and not absorbing nutrients, so he's losing weight and constantly hungry and often nauseated. His body is eating his muscles for protein.

He's 14-ish years old. The surgery outcome, if we were to go that route, doesn't sound great.

I've been thinking for the past few months that this was an IBD flare up that I was failing to get under control. It wouldn't have been the first time we had been through this.

I've been medicating him, cleaning up diarrhea at all hours, and being woken up every few hours to feed him because he's hungry. I've spent over $1000 that we definitely don't have right now on special foods to try to stabilize him. I've been doing this for months. And I would continue to do it if he would have any quality of life.

But his doctor is a big "quality over quantity" person when it comes to life. We are, too. This is the same doctor that got Oreo into emergency surgery to try to save him. If there was any way for Scar to have a good outcome, we'd explore it. But there's not much to be done here.

We will be saying goodbye to him this week. I am sad. I felt like air ceased to exist shortly after the news sank in; I literally couldn't breathe or speak. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't expect it. We'll choose the day as a family; possibly Wednesday or Friday. I don't want my boy to be uncomfortable for longer than he has to.

I am tired to death.

I am tired to death.

Yesterday, I attended my online class, did some plant repotting, did my nails, and showered for the first time in at least a week. That was a lot.

Scar is still having diarrhea thanks to me accidentally giving him access to his dry food, but it's slowly getting better again. He still has a vet appointment for tomorrow. I'm anxious to find out what's going on.

Today is supposed to be my plant-watering day, but it's windy and dusty out. I'm not up for being exfoliated by the desert, so I'm just going to wait. Honestly, this is probably the worst weather we have here:  The dusty days. I'm not complaining. I'll take this over a tornado ANY time.

I decided that I needed another tray and another bucket to speed up my watering since I do bottom-watering. Shaun took me to Lowe's. I found a tray. I also got a pink bucket, which probably excited me more than it should have. 😂 I thought my only choice would be the standard Lowe's blue. I also found a Graptoveria on clearance that was on my wishlist, so yay for that $2.98 find.

I think I'm gonna try to nap now. If I do anything today, it'll probably be something indoors and low-key. I'm trying to do things I enjoy as well as self-care to get up some energy, but it's slow going. Burnout is really hard to come back from.

Back to diarrhea. 😫😞

Back to diarrhea. 😫😞

In my exhaustion, I messed up.

In my exhaustion, I messed up.

I left a door open that I normally don't. Behind that door was the dry food that I'd taken from Scar because he was vomiting it up.

I woke up a few minutes ago, weirded out that I'd gotten more than a few hours of sleep in one go. Then he had a messy poop. I got up to clean it and found out he and Adrian had been eating the dry food.

That explains the poop, and also why he let me sleep.

I hope this isn't a huge setback for his progress. We'd had no diarrhea for days.

I guess it's something that he hasn't thrown it up?

My battery has been low since last week.

My battery has been low since last week. No amount of rest feels like enough.

Scar (cat) is doing better regarding his IBD/diarrhea. No accidents in days. But he's so hungry that he wakes me up every few hours to eat.

Today, I didn't get out of bed until 3pm. And I'm about to go back.

All I managed to do today was repot some plants that weren't taking up water like they should. That's it.

I have UI/UX homework, but I'm too tired. Hopefully I can make it to class on time tomorrow, at least.

The greenhouse is my happy place. 😊

The greenhouse is my happy place. 😊

I can't believe how fast the baby doves are growing. Shaun checked the camera and said that the parents left the babies alone for about 6 hours last night. It was down to 40°F, but it looks like their feathers are coming in, so I guess it was ok. They're doing fine today. They're starting to move around more. I'm going to have to be extra careful when going in the greenhouse to make sure of where they are in case they're on the ground.

I got a quick video of baby Bear enjoying the flowers. He's so freaking precious. I love my good helper.

Some flowers and baby birds...

Some flowers and baby birds, and a lizard, and my Quasimodo Agave's progress since being removed from growing upside down in the bottom of the pot.

The stars of the greenhouse...

The stars of the greenhouse, some bug eggs of some sort, and a few flowers.

And yes, that yellow flower is from a different cactus. I guess I have several who make yellow flowers. 💛

Bear helped me water the plants today. And by "helped", I mean "forced me to hold heavy trays of freshly watered plants that are usually on the shelves out of reach while he carefully AND THOROUGHLY smelled all of the flowers." 😂😂😂

It would've been a beautiful photo if my hands hadn't been full. 😂 He is exceedingly gentle sometimes. 😊❤️

Shaun went to the greenhouse yesterday...

Shaun went to the greenhouse yesterday and moved the camera. We wanted a better view, and to also be able to plug it in so we could save the video to see how the doves are doing.

He moved slowly and carefully and the parent didn't even fly away. 💗

Now we get to enjoy watching these babies grow up. There are definitely 2 now, and we believe this is papa bird doing the feeding in this clip. Mourning Dove males and females look really similar, so it's hard to tell, but this one does look a bit larger than the other.

I guess it's been about 2 weeks...

I guess it's been about 2 weeks since I wrote about how things are going, but that's because by and large nothing has changed.  I haven't put much effort into my app or anything, really - I'm just maintaining the necessities at this point.

I haven't written about this yet, but Scar (my kitty cat) isn't doing well.  He's 14, so he's getting up there in age.  He was previously diagnosed with IBD and we'd had that under control for quite a while, until the food that worked for him was suddenly discontinued a few months back.  We've been on the struggle bus ever since.

For a while, he was having pretty constant diarrhea in the floor, which I know sounds disgusting, but it's even worse when he uses the litter box and gets poop and litter all over himself.  I'd honestly rather him use the floor for this purpose because it's easier to clean and he doesn't get in my bed covered in poop.  Either way, it's unpleasant to wake up to, but less gross to clean up a mess from the linoleum than to have a poop-covered cat come to snuggle.

His accidents are becoming fewer, but he's lost a good bit of weight and I'm feeding him wet food every few hours, even through the night.  He actually looks like he's gained a bit back, so that is nice.

I know it all sounds terrible, but otherwise he seems to feel fine.  He's been worse in the past.  I actually took him to the vet for euthanasia once before, and they said he was doing too well, which I was grateful for, though I felt horrible for his condition.

Anyway, his labs look pretty good.  He has an appointment the Monday after next for a scan to see if it looks like inflammation or something more nefarious.  I hope it's nothing too bad.  He really doesn't seem like he's done with life yet; he's still sassy and bratty and himself, so I'm going to support him the best I can until we find out what's going on or he decides he's done - whichever comes first.

It has been a bit draining trying to recover from burnout while also babying him and that's probably why I'm doing only the bare minimum in all other aspects, but I know that whether he has IBD or something else, I only have so much time with him.  I'm going to treasure our time together.

I hope you all are doing well.  Sometimes I sort of get antsy or beat myself up for my lack of "accomplishing" things, but it's easier to talk myself out of that now, thank goodness.

Egg-citing news!

Egg-citing news! At least one little dove hatched today! I saw the parent on the nest interacting with a gray blob they were sitting on. I took a photo through the camera, which is not a good picture, but I'm sharing it anyway. You can see the cracked egg. I'm too happy! 😊

I also had some little pink flowers today. And these seed pods from this cactus... I've decided to harvest them and try to hatch them. Wish me luck! I've germinated Lithops before, but they didn't make it into adulthood. I don't know if cactus will be easier, but I guess I'll find out!

Lots of flowers this spring! So exciting! 😊

Lots of flowers this spring! So exciting! 😊

And possibly baby doves later this week. 💗

From the greenhouse the last few days. 😊

From the greenhouse the last few days. 😊

My Huernia Zebrina seed pod opened up.

Bear loves coming in and checking on things. He's always so happy to smell the plants. Why is he so cute!? 😊😊😊

I keep missing this one fully open, but it's such a pretty color!

Shaun put up one of our spare cameras in the greenhouse. Now we can be on Baby Bird watch! 💗

In the greenhouse today. 😊

In the greenhouse today. 😊

I went in to check on my plants. Mama Dove left briefly, but came back. She came back even when I was close by. Much less panic today, thank goodness.

Today was nice. 😊

Today was nice. 😊

I spent a bunch of my day with Caitlin. We went to see our friend Judy in the hospital. She looked great today and she just kills me how she gets so happy about cookies or a good coffee. I'm glad she'll be out soon.

Then we went to a plant nursery. Caitlin got a few plants. I got one - the scraggliest little 2 individual pieces of Fairy Castle cactus. 😂 My heart just went out to the poor thing. I've never even seen it as single pieces before; they're always in the classic "castle" shape. So we'll see if I can grow it up.

Today is my watering day for the greenhouse. Anyone who looks thirsty gets to butt-chug (I bottom-water to prevent rot and scorch marks). Otherwise, I live by "When in doubt, wait it out." to prevent rot.

Mama Dove was in there and left when I went in, as usual. But after about 15 minutes I could hear her flying around outside. She was looking in and I could tell she wanted to come back, but was unsure of me. She landed on top of the greenhouse a few times. I know she was so stressed. 🙁

But eventually she came back, even while I was in there moving around. I made sure to move slowly and not look directly at her, and we coexisted. I walked in and out several times and was able to move plants on the shelf next to her with no issue. She even allowed Shaun in (without flying away) to help me carry out my extra water. I finished up and closed the door and she and the eggs are tucked in for the night. (The windows above the doors are open. She's not trapped.)

I have a lot of buds coming up, and had a couple of small new flowers today. I'm pretty excited about how it's looking in there! 😊

Found Bear wearing his collar like this.

Found Bear wearing his collar like this. I don't know how that happened. I also don't know how it hasn't happened before. He's got an adult neck and baby head. 😂

He kind of looks like he's wearing a hair bow from the front. 😂😂😂