Having a ramble.

Having a ramble.

Tl;dr:  I am feeling pretty good.

The last few days since I got my app officially into Beta on the sites, I've been feeling like a weight has been lifted.  I don't know if it was bogging me down carrying it in my head this whole time, but I just FEEL better.  So far, the only feedback has been small visual tweaks (like how things display on different sized screens), not like anything is majorly malfunctioning.  I am very happy with that.

I think getting it mostly out of my head has been good for my burnout recovery.  I've done laundry, I've been doing self-care (like showering more, wearing clean clothes every day, etc.), and taking care of my plants - even when it was daunting.  I am feeling more on top of things than I have in a great long while.  It's nice.

Before I came home from Houston, I had decided that I was done with retail therapy.  I love to buy plants and nail polish, but those small hits of dopamine were basically being canceled out later by the work they created.  For example, swatching a polish and adding it to my database, or potting a plant.  Those small tasks were adding up and keeping me feeling perpetually behind.

My plants are mostly settled... I have a few in the house that I'd like to move to the greenhouse, and a couple left to repot.  I have probably 16 drawers of unswatched nail polish.  They aren't alive, so they can wait.  But the point is that now I feel like I am not drowning in my tasks.  I can do things, and it's not a battle.

It was good timing on my part that I had decided to be done with retail therapy, because when I got back from my trip, Shaun was like "Hey, we're getting down to the wire financially."  That sucks, but it was nice to be on the same page.  So, I haven't shopped in about 3 weeks.  We haven't even eaten out anywhere or ordered DoorDash.  And for whatever reason, I feel zen about it.  I don't know why, but when I make a decision, it's easy to stick to it.  Getting myself to that point of "Decision Made" is the hard part.  😅

I think I'm gonna go clean off my desk before office hours tonight.  That's the next thing that has been bothering me.

I think I'm also going to list some clothes on Depop.  Have any of you done that?  The kids have been buying clothes for cheap from there and it seems like it's worth a shot to try to offload some of the things I have that I won't likely be wearing again.  I've also seen ThredUp, but I probably don't have much that's worth doing consignment for.  But it feels like a good time to clean out the closet.  And maybe the garage.  And in general just purge what is unused.

I spent most of the day...

I spent most of the day watering and fertilizing the greenhouse plants. I didn't do it last month, but I wasn't skipping again.

I left my phone in the house and just enjoyed my plants from 4 to 10 pm. I had to take a lamp out to finish up, but I got it done.

I hope they'll start plumping up again by morning. I'm excited to go check on them.

After the mealy bugs, the sun roasting some of them, then the mice coming in and eating/destroying about 60 of them, I was feeling really discouraged and overwhelmed. But even the chewed ones are hanging in there, thank goodness.

Well, ok, actually...

Well, ok, actually...

Google has it up.

Test link only works if I have your email (for now):

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bluprintdesign.polishallthethings

Yesterday must have been too good.

Yesterday must have been too good.  I woke up at 5 am with a letdown migraine.  🫠

Last night before I went to bed, my iPhone testers were having trouble with installing the app, so I ended up putting it on the app store with TestFlight.  The app is in review by Apple for *OFFICIAL* Beta.

Since I put it on Apple late last night, I thought "Why not put it on the Google Play store for their Beta, too?  So I did that today.

I guess I am taking baby steps into this release.  I'm ok with it.  That is pretty exciting.

I hope I don't wake up with another migraine.  😆😭

I got my plants potted!

I got my plants potted! And now I'm exhausted. 😂

Those 3 cacti that are still there are intentional; they're rooting.

Here is a before and after of my potting desk:

Before:

After:

Bear just came through...

Bear just came through and knocked over about half of my work. 😭😭😭

I went to therapy.

I went to therapy. I've been doing laundry. I've sent my app to some iPhone testers. (Still hoping to submit to the app stores next week.)

There is nothing left to do but pot these plants.

Posting to hold myself accountable. 🌱 🌵

Hey, y'all.

Hey, y'all. If you're in perimenopause and having trouble sleeping, then taking Magnesium Glycinate at night might help you.

Or you could be like the 20% of us for whom it makes things worse.

I didn't know it could be part of the problem. I skipped it last night (because of something I read on reddit), and just slept through the night for the first time IN AGES.

I keep trying to get myself...

I keep trying to get myself to pot the desk full of plants I have in the sunroom. They've been out there uprooted, unwatered, and sad for AT LEAST 2 months.

I did my nails the other day. Laundry today. I had the time; just not the willpower. And I feel guilty because they are alive and need tending to.

I guess I'll try again tomorrow.

Late-night rambles:

Late-night rambles:

I did some self-care today in the form of doing my nails (just plain, but they were popping and peeling off, so this is better), and taking a shower. I'd been a stinky, greasy mess for at least a week. My nails hadn't been done since before I went to Houston. It was just time.

I think the only reason I felt ok to take care of myself is because my app is almost done. Yes, it's been the focus for the past few weeks. Yes, my schedule is messed up. But I'm not burned out. I've been sleeping, just at not the regular times.

My plan is to have it on the app stores on their beta tracks next week. I've been fixing and adjusting small things here and there. I am basically to the "paperwork" stage. I need screenshots of certain sizes for Apple. I'm gonna hit up some friends because my test phone is too small.

I've been talking to users through the app, which just blows my mind. I've built a thing, and it works... Well, at least part of it! 😅 I'm so freaking excited!

Now that the app stuff is not taking up all of my brain and my nails are protected, I can put away the laundry I piled up in the closet, as well as pot up the plants I've left neglected in the sunroom for the last 2 months. I might even clean my desk. 😂 I don't know what all I'm gonna do, but I feel a lot better. I guess I just needed to get all of my ideas out of me. If nothing else, it felt both like a dream, but also good for my career. It'll be nice to have a thing completed for my resume.

I've been kind of a mess, but I'm hanging in here. I'm slowly but surely starting to feel better and get things done.

I think that soon I will be able to handle people again. I really miss a lot of people that I've been pretty absent with for the last few months, but I just needed to recalibrate and I think most everyone understands.

Anyway, I'm about to change my sheets and get in this fresh bed. Hopefully, I will sleep through the night instead of waking up at crazy hours. We'll see.

I love you and I miss you. 💙

Our favorite holidays:

Our favorite holidays:  The twice-yearly, in-home terrorizations. 🙄

He's serving face today. 😂

He's serving face today. 😂

I so love this baby goblin. 💕

Look at this dog. 😂😂😂

Look at this dog. 😂😂😂

Pardon the chewed and clawed chair. We've given up on having anything nice with so many fur-kids in the house.

Bear had a dream...

Bear had a dream and barked himself awake, so now we're outside while he patrols and walks it off.

It's nice out, and I snagged this picture of the moon behind a blooming Yucca.

I'm really tired and headache-y, but I feel gratitude in this moment.

So, I hate this.

So, I hate this.

I hate being the one working part-time and being responsible for the house.

As soon as we're back on our feet, I'mma need my trophy husband to take a demotion and work part time and let me do the hustling.

I literally can't think straight about anything with all of the house stuff in my periphery.

I was supposed to sign up for a certification by yesterday, and it slipped my mind. It was IMPORTANT. Thankfully, the deadline was extended and I'll be ok, but it's not ok that I forgot.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm the more driven one. My focus is needed on my career. Shaun can work part-time just to give me some alone time in the house.

I don't think this current setup is gonna help with my burnout recovery at all. This last week and a half has been rough.

(I know we're privileged that we can get by on one income, but I did fight my way into tech for that reason. We'll be able to pay bills, but not save. We still have to figure that out unless I want to work until I die. Fun.)