Me and my psoriasis face.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

Sunday was the Amanda Palmer show in Atlanta. I went there with Shaun. He let me tag along. It was pretty great. First of all - I didn't drive and we didn't get lost. Those two things will make any trip AMAZING for me. (Not that driving and getting lost is always a bad thing, but sometimes it gets old).

We had some time to kill before the show and hung out in L5P for a while. We made a friend... this old guy just started talking to us and he was nice but he talked a lot so he didn't know that I liked tarantulas, too, (like him) but whatever. I know his name is Jeff with a "G" and that he wants us to move there to be closer to him and that he will choke you out if you piss him off. Also, he bought us lunch so HELLZ YES for free food.

Then we went to the place and there were people already out there so we stayed out there, too. For some hours in the cold. Luckily for me Shaun is like a heater and he let me stand next to him so that I didn't turn blue and die of cold. Also, we made bodies on the ground. See?? I'm the little one and Shaun looks like bigfoot. Heee.

Also, the really cute merch girl came out and wanted to hug me. I so let her. THEN this guy went and got his guitar and played some songs. He was pretty good, too. I sang along to one, QUIETLY, because no one should be subjected to that. For really realz. Also... because I am terribly shy. But whatever.

Anyway, we finally got to go in and warm up some and that was nice. The opening bands were good. I REALLY, SUPER like Vermillion Lies. The Builders and the Butchers were good, too. My pictures are kind of crappy so you get what you get. Here they are:

I'm short and this man kept leaning in front of me. This was ALMOST a damn good picture.

I think at this point in the show they were doing a cover of Rhianna's "Under my Umbrella" song which was so out of left field. I LOVED IT. They turned it up loud and it made me wiggle a little bit. Ha. I'm so extremely shy... I should really get over that. Btw... the people in the picture are from the Danger Ensemble... they go around and do stuff.

Also I just realized that I do not have a picture of the skinny guy with the violin up here... so you should probably just go get snoopy on Shaun's flickr if you want to see more. Anyway, the two girls that are not Amanda Palmer are the girls from Vermillion Lies... you can't see it from here, but the left one has a totally hot mustache on her face.

AND... I kind of met Amanda Palmer. A girl took this picture... I don't think I was ready. I'm never ready for pictures. 😂 But here it is anyway. She was totally on my boobs. OH YEAH.

Anyway it was fun. The show was awesome. I got the ink pen that fell out of one of the Danger Ensemble girl's mouths. Hey! Look at Shaun's blog. His has less words, more pictures. And videos!

October

 

hitting hard times :(

So I've done the unthinkable: re-homed a few of my pets. The last ferret I took in has gone to stay with my step-sister. He seems happier there. He lived alone before he came to me and I don't think living with Static and Stella was his cup of tea. So now he has free run of the house quite often and it seems to be working out for everyone. Honey and Milkshake now live with a dear friend. I just never got as attached to them as I did Hairy and Minuit. I think it was too soon... I was trying to help Minuit out by getting her a housemate, but then she died leaving the new rat alone so I ended up buying a newer rat to keep the new rat company. If I'd known Minuit was gonna die anyway I wouldn't have bought the first one to begin with. So that was just a thing I did that didn't work out as I'd hoped...

Anyway, I also sent my gliders to live elsewhere. There was some weirdness going on with them that I could just no longer deal with. A rat, a mouse, the last hermit crab, and the hamster have died. The last time I tried to post a memorial PhotoBucket was being a dick and I never came back to it. I guess I have some catching up to do.

I still have more of a houseful than I need, but I have a hard time parting ways with my kids. Speaking of fur kids something is wrong with Scooter and I hope, Hope, HOPE it works itself out SOON because I certainly do not have the money to take him to the vet. He's had diarrhea and been vomiting for like a week and I've done everything I know of to fix him. I haven't switched foods on him, I've given him dewormer (just in case), I've made sure there's nothing un-foody around that he could be getting into. I just don't know what else could be going on. I treated them all for fleas with CHEMICALS! - which I'm normally opposed to doing, but nothing else is working. The fleas are MONSTEROUS this year. 😟 I wonder if that could have jacked him up.

Speaking of diarrhea - Scooter's just been going where ever he goes. For the most part he's done pretty well considering that there's no one home to let him out mid-day anymore, but now that he's sick all bets are off. And he likes to do his business in the big room where the floor is concrete or cement or whatever. Which you know - is porous. It's like trying to mop up wet poo from a sidewalk or something - it just doesn't work. So my house smells like sickly shit right now and it pretty much grosses me out. I actually feel a little nauseated because of it. But I have not found a way to get it completely up - most of what I do seems to just... rub it in. Mayhaps that's something I can work on in a bit. Suggestions?

So it was brought to my attention...

that I haven't blogged in a while. That's pretty true. So here I am.

I've been stressed out lately which is just what I do sometimes - and WOW - has my skin shown it. It's like "Whoa, what happened to your FACE, man?" For serious. I've never been of the train of thought that looks were everything, but when I start looking like this it makes me want to hide under a rock. I look sickly. Like, with some chicken pox or measles or some shit. Boo. And just add to that my hair. Yep, I'm letting my hairs grow back and they are at that funny, awkward, "Haha, you can't do shit with me" stage. I either wear a hat or just have to let them stick out all over my head. It's great. Also, I'm graying, but I'm kind of excited about that.

Well, despite all of that crap I'm ok. I'm always ok. ... I'm just going to be ok.  Worst comes to worst I can get a roommate. I don't really want to as I'm enjoying having the house to myself, but I could if I really needed to. I sort of have other plans in the works for the almost clean and empty room I'm working on, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if someone else had to move into it. I guess it's good to have something to fall back on.

So I'm being a little strange lately... to myself, anyway. Maybe no one else would notice. But I ate a hamburger last night, quite intentionally. And a hot dog earlier in the week. And I haven't obsessively cut my nails every other day this week. I've been painting them daily to keep me from cutting them (which painting them is something I literally have not done in YEARS). And I shaved my legs, once, just because. And I'm growing my hairs. And I took out my giant earrings to shower, but I'm not putting them back right now. ... I think I'm just feeling somewhat experimental... like - just making sure I still know myself. Or what I like or not. Or maybe I'm bored. I really don't know. The best answer I have is that I feel like doing these things (damn the reason) and so I do them. It's kind of neat.

Aside from that people... well, mostly A people - has been introducing me to musics that rock my face off. I'm all over it. It's been a while since I've been so into music... most of what I was hearing was just not doing it for me at all. I'd become quite bored with music which is just fucking sad. Speaking of music... very soon (I hope) Shadow will start playing my drum set. He wants to, I want him to, I wanna do it with him... and it will be great fun if nothing else. I just have to get some stuff moved - which is what I was doing before I started blogging and probably what I'll be doing after I finish blogging, too. But yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

Speaking of looking forward to things... there are a few things happening that I'm all about. First of all - it's great weather for camping. I discovered this summer that I really like to do that so I want to do it some more. A LOT. Mayhaps I will just move to the woods for the fall. 😜 Also, there's a show coming up in November that I really want to go to. If I get to it will be my first show of the year. How pathetic, but oh well. From what I've seen this one will probably be awesome enough to make up for all the fun I've missed this year. Needless to say:  I'm excited.

All in all I'm struggling with a few things, but life feels right. Life feels good. Really good, even. I think you never know who your real friends are until you need them and I'm honestly shocked at how many people have just been there for me. I am SO not complaining and I can't really even claim to understand WHY some of the people who are here, are, but I'm grateful. It's the best thing ever. Severiously.

And so... I think that is all.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared...

So... I've put myself into a situation where I'm going to be doing the whole "single parent" thing again. It was quite intentional (and necessary), but nonetheless I'm a little scared. It's been a while since I've been completely on my own.

I remember when I first moved out by myself (well, with Shadow). I was like, "Whoa, how the fuck do people DO this??" But I did it and I was ok. Now, it's kind of like that - but different. Whereas before I had nothing - now I have a lot to lose if I don't get things right. Mostly what I'm referring to, I suppose, is my house. It's not the greatest thing ever, but it's home. Even if I do stay caught up on my bills I don't have much left over for repairs. And believe me - there are a lot of them stacking up.

In March I quit working 3 jobs. I probably shouldn't have done that, but I wasn't being treated very nicely and it was so hard to juggle it all. With school starting back soon and no babysitter on call three jobs wouldn't be an option for me right now if I wanted it to. I'm feeling pretty grateful for that, though, seeing as how time off is a lot more valuable to me when I have good friends to spend it with.

Also, I have two cars. Neither of them are running at the moment. Both of my parents are working to help me with them and I greatly appreciate it. I just wish I had something reliable to drive. I think I've been stranded, like, 5 times this month. It never lasts long, but it scares the shit out of me. It's not so great.

I've been thinking a lot about trying to get child support. I never tried to pursue that in all of Shadow's 8 years, but the more I think about it the more I want to. The main two things that have stopped me were: 1) I didn't want to be sued for joint custody or visitation or whatever, and 2) I knew Shadow's father wouldn't hold a job and would probably end up in jail. So, it's been pointed out to me that 1) He calls and I let him talk to Shadow regardless / he's a felon on house arrest anyway so it's not likely that he would be able to get custody, and 2) If he'd been in jail all this time he probably wouldn't have so many other kids running around right now. (Btw, I'm not shit-talking him - he's a really nice guy. Just in trouble a lot).

I'm still on the fence on this one. Maybe I'm too nice. Maybe I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm tired of being nice and getting walked on. For what it's worth, though, he's had plenty of time (8 years!) to get his shit together and "help us" like he's promised to do since Shadow was born and all he does is get into more trouble. I think I'm just really losing patience with this whole "one day" mentality that's floating around me.

So I'm preparing for things to be kind of tight around here. It breaks my heart to think of it, but I might have to re-home some of my pets. Probably definitely the ferrets because their food is so much more expensive than anyone else's. I'm not all that attached to my girl ratties (even though they're not much trouble) - after Hairy and Minuit passed it just hasn't been the same. I hate to admit it, but I've just not been able to get close to them. I've got a bunch of cages and stuff that I'll probably post up on Craigslist or something... if I don't get them out of my house I know I'll be tempted to fill them again. No harm in removing them and making a few bucks, right?

You know, I have a really awesome job and it's not like I'm broke as fuck... I think I'm just starting to freak out a little because I won't have anyone to fall back on. Just me to blame if shit doesn't go as planned. While I'm really looking forward to the near future - I'm nervous. I haven't been "on my own" in probably pushing 3 years. I guess it's time to buckle down and see if I'm still as resilient as I used to be. I sure as hell hope so.

I want:

to dance until I can't move another muscle.

to fuck until I'm spent.

to run until there's nowhere left to go.

to scream until my voice is gone.

to fight and to bleed.

to play and smile and laugh.

things I cannot have. So don't mind me. I'm just going to hide out and cry and then tell myself that I'm ok. Because I will be. I'm so close. It's just out of reach. I've just gotta let this moment pass.

I feel...

like a kid again.

AND I LOVE IT.

hanging out until morning comes

sunrise on the porch

more smiles and laughter than I can ever remember

changes I finally have the courage to make

movies that even Shadow can watch

friends who are not bothered by my dogs

having my head petted

did I mention the smiles?

I seriously haven't felt so light-hearted in like, 9 years. Thanks to the 3 bestest pals in the whole wide world.

Rest In Peace, Toad

Sweet little Toad - you were Shadow's baby. I think the only reason he's not completely freaking out right now is because he's known for a while that you were sick. He's been preparing for this for a while because you are a fighter. You held on longer than any of us thought you would and it was pretty amazing.

The look on his face was so sad when I broke the news. He had to pet your little head one last time. I wish you hadn't had to leave us, but I'm sure your little tumor made you very uncomfortable. If you had been younger and in better shape I would have totally found a way to have that removed, I swear. Thank you for being so sweet to him. He really loved you. We all did.

Blu angry!

Last night we let our dogs out to play in our FENCED IN YARD that me and 3 GREAT friends busted our arses putting up about two weeks ago. It's been AWESOME. It's been so awesome that I haven't even wanted to come inside to blog about how awesome it is. I'd just rather hang out all day in my yard WITH MY DOGS.

So anyway - yesterday evening. Nick found a hole in the fence and the neighbors dog in our yard. He shooed him out, but when he came back he was chewing on the hole. So yeah. The neighbors weenie dog has chewed a Scruffy-sized hole in the fence. Imagine how angry I am! That is all I've wanted for like, the entire two fucking years I've lived here! And now it's fucked up in just two weeks!

I went over and talked to the neighbor. She said that she would keep her dog on a leash if he's outside. Later that night I'm on my porch talking to a friend and the dog barks at me. Of course. Then she comes out calling him to come in. This happened several times throughout the course of the night. Yeah, he was so on a leash all that time, right? Well guess what. There's ANOTHER fucking hole in my fence!

I'm so angry. One hole - oh well - I'll patch it up somehow and life will go on. Two holes after you say you're going to do something and don't... well, that's pushing me a little farther than I'm prepared to be nice about at the moment. I will be going back over there when I get home this afternoon and I will be nice. But if something doesn't change I will calling the authorities to find out if there are any leash laws, which they are clearly breaking. And I will look into taking this to small claims. I'm not about to have my happy place destroyed by someone else's irresponsibility.

Sometimes I forget...

Sometimes I forget that I am still a mom.  Not like I forget that I have a son, but you know... the newness of him has rubbed off after 8 years.  It's not like he's a baby who needs every little thing done for him anymore.  He's just one of us now.  Thinking to myself earlier, "I am a mother" seemed so odd.  I know that it's true, but I became a mother so long ago it feels like.

I don't mean any of this in a negative way... and I can promise you it's not that I'm losing my "mother's instinct" or whatever.  Believe me - I'd rip your fucking face off for messing with my kid.  It's just weird after all of this time... and different.  We're just growing up.  Shadow's growing up.  We're growing...

When you're pregnant - everything's changing.  Everything about you.  Your body, your mind.  You can feel it happening and it's neat.  You know that something big is about to happen and you try to prepare for it, but you never can.  I don't care how much your try - you learn more as you go.  And that's ok.  Experience is a great teacher.  I knew nothing about kids when I had Shadow and he's awesome, so...

I remember when Shadow was in my belly... he was fucking ALIVE in there.  I don't think that people realize how INCREDIBLY AWESOME AND AMAZING that really is anymore.  People are just fucking baby factories... I doubt that anyone cherishes the experience of being pregnant.  Hell, I can't even really put it into words (the way I feel about it).  The absolute best part was feeling him move and later seeing it.  It was crazy.  He'd respond to sounds - particularly, he'd jump at sharp noises.  IN MY BELLY.  I still feel like "Whoa" just thinking about it.  😲

Anyway, I don't know.  Pregnancy was a nice experience for me.  I have absolutely no plans to do it again, but I look back at it fondly.  Even the barfing.  I HATE barfing, but I knew it was for a good cause.  They say that if you're nauseated you've got high levels of some hormone that means your baby is developing normally... so you know, bring it on.  I'll barf day and night for 6 months straight for the well-being of my kid.  I totally did that.

Yeah, this seems pretty random.  You know what brought it to my mind?  This morning when I ate the last of the cereal I offered Shadow a glass of Vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast.  He LOVED it.  I'll have to admit that that stuff is pretty yummy.  Know how I know?  Because when I was pregnant with him my nutritionist told me to drink at least a glass of that every day for the calories.  I was pretty tiny for a pregnant chick - due to barfing non-stop I was having a hard time keeping my weight up.

So... how's that for a rambly post?  😂  Those were just the thoughts kicking around in my head...

I like these photos...

I like this photo even though it's a failed attempt at capturing my swolled-up lip.

BEST SWOLLED-UP LIP EVER. ❤ 2008

Summer 2008

Rest In Peace, Spazz

Well, little buddy, I hear that you were already old when you came to me. All I can say is that I hope you enjoyed your stay, however short it was. I liked you - I liked how when anyone came near you, you'd jump straight up and then run away - tail crooked as could be. You were cute. You had personality. I'm going to miss sitting up late, watching you run, holding your tail funny. Much love, little one.

Who’s that flapping at my door?

A baby bird.

It's insane. I took my dogs out to the pen, I came back in and was checking on my rats, and I heard something at the door. I opened it and a baby bird flopped in. No shit. So I'm trying not to touch it and get it back outside and when I finally do it hops towards the dog pen. I was just like, "Nooo!" But then I noticed the unfortunate soul who was already in there. Yeah - another baby bird. The dogs were of course harassing it... it's missing some feathers, but it has no open wounds. I don't know if it has any broken bones... Anyway, I snatched it up and caught the other little shit who was hopping all over. He was probably headed off to get eaten by a cat. 😳

So now I have two baby birds. I don't know where the hell they came from. They're big enough that they have feathers, but they're not flying yet. Also I'm still really worried about the one who was with the dogs. The vets can't help me, animal control can't help me, and the museum is closed. (And lucky for me this is a long weekend). /sarcasm I don't know what to do. I have them in a warm, dark, quiet place. I hope some rest will do them good while I figure out what to do. Any suggestions?

Rest in Peace, Minuit

So, yeah. *sigh* Whatever took her set in suddenly, kept her suffering for days, and then was gone, along with her. She seemed to be hurting and despite my best efforts I could not help her. Missing her will certainly be easier than seeing her suffer.

I love you, baby girl. I will miss your secrets and your fuzzy nose kisses.

Nursing

Toad (Shadow's gerbil) hasn't been doing so well. I've been going all "nurse" on his ass. I hand feed him. I give him little things to do to keep him from going insane, but don't let him expend too much energy. I give him dust baths. I medicate his wound. I think he has a scent gland tumor and due to his age surgery probably wouldn't be the best idea. He's doing much better over these last few days so he's earned wheel privileges... if he keeps improving, hopefully I can put him back in with the other gerbils. I know they are not supposed to be alone, but they were chewing at his wound so I couldn't leave him with them. Gerbils can't leave anything alone, unfortunately. 😕

Also, Minuit looks like shit. I'm doing all that I can for her, too. I guess she's getting sort of up-there in ratty years. This damn sucks. She's kind of the last piece of Hairy that I feel I have left. Not that I don't love Minuit for who she is... because I do. I love a lot of things about her - one of the most awesome being that she tells me secrets. 😊 She always has. I hope she will be ok.

For Shame...

Y'all don't know every detail of what's been up with me lately. Lucky for you I can fix that. 😜

Two weeks ago I took in a new ferret. His name is Mocha. He's farkin' HUEGE. Yes, HUEGE. I don't have pictures of him yet, but I will soon. I think. He's really neat-looking.

Last Friday I got an IUD. HELLz YEAH for 5 years of not having to worry about producing more offspring! It pretty much hurt, though. Well - it has been 8 years since my cervix opened up to pop out Shadow so I guess it had plenty of time to close back up. The doctor guy was totally prepared for that shit, though. He had this long tapered stick that he proceeded to force into that tiny hole until it was tiny no longer. Yeah. But, let's not forget the clamps he had to use to grab my uterus and point it the right direction so that he could see what he was doing. Let me tell ya - there's nothing quite like having your organs moved around while you're totally aware. 😳

It's cool, though. I felt PRETTY crappy that Friday, but by the next day I was up for walking around all day... you know - like you might at a Renaissance Festival. So that's what we did. Shaun, me, Shadow and Nick went to one in GA. It was pirate weekend which was neat. Nick and Shaun got Didgeridoos. I took a bunch of pictures. Shadow played some drums. Me and Shaun came back with awesome matching SUNBURNS. I might have to dedicate a whole blog to that day.

Me and Shadow had dinner with Jeni on Wednesday. She can cook some chicken! Also, her cats are AWESOME. For serious - Chaucer is beautiful and weird. Poe is a people. What more could you ask for??

Shadow's now out of school for the summer. I'm happy about that. He is, too, of course. He received 3 awards today at school... 'cause he ROCKS!

I ran over a cross-tie and got my car stuck. Nick had to jack it up so that we could pull the tie out from under the car. Yay for dumb things I do that inconvenience people! 😂

So have you heard of "The Cat Empire"? They're awesome and they really remind me of cats. Like, when I listen to the music I think of alley cats singing. Maybe that's weird, but that's what I see in my head. Their voices are very cat-like and so are the things they sing about, kind of...

I have fairy band-aids. I've never seen them before. They came from Big Lots. The only reason I even remember that I do is because I've got one on my head... ja know - because of the giant lump I grew there. 😳 They came with a fairy card... collect all 56!

I feel so energetic tonight. This morning. Whatever. And I have stuff that I could be doing to burn that energy, but I hurt my foot cleaning a rat cage earlier so I don't really want to even stand up. Of course, I will have to unless I decide to sleep in this chair. ... Decisions, decisions...

Puppy Kisses,

Blu

Rest in Peace, Hairy

Oh Hairy. You probably have no idea how much your death tears me up. I so was not ready for this, though your health as of the last few months was a clue that you were not doing so well. I tried, baby girl - I really did. I'm sorry - I feel as though I failed you.

I haven't really put it out there, but me and Hairy have made several trips to the vet's office over the last few months... if it's not her eyes, it's her skin. We put ointment in her eyes for months and kept her on Benadryl to stop her from scratching her skin up, but nothing was helping. We finally put her on some oral antibiotics along with the eye ointment and she looked SO much better. Then here is it a month later and almost overnight she's on her last legs.

It really and truly happened fast... I woke up yesterday morning and her eyes were looking bad again. I called the vet and was instructed to start her back on antibiotics so I did. That evening when I came home she looked so much worse. Really skinny and squinty... it was terrible. My friend Jeni bought her some baby food and Gatorade and she ate pretty well. I put a heat lamp over her because she felt cold to the touch. I stayed up pretty late so that she could rest before I woke her up to get her to eat again. When I got up this morning she was barely moving and her breathing was so shallow that you could barely tell she was alive. She felt so cold.

I stayed home until she passed and then I held her and cried for a good hour or so - so much that I made myself pretty sick. I just didn't want to believe it was over - I kept looking for some sign of life, I guess out of desperation. But I knew better.

In a way I guess it should be a relief... I'd briefly considered having her put to sleep, because I just couldn't keep her healthy. I was just so tired of seeing her sick and since she couldn't voice it I never knew how bad or good she felt.

I've pretty much expected that she would not be as healthy as other hairless rats as they're pretty fragile creatures to begin with. On top of that she wasn't bred to be hairless - she was just sort of a mutant (all of her litter mates were furred). Most good breeders can weed out a lot of health problems over time, but Hairy didn't get that benefit. She didn't have the best start, though she seemed healthy up until lately... Gosh, though, these last few months were pretty brutal on her. From what I've read the life expectancy of a furred rat is 2-3 years... for a hairless it's usually 18-24 months. She was just a few months shy of 18 so I guess she was getting pretty up there in rat years anyway.

Anyway, Hairy, you were my first ratty girl. I really and truly loved you to pieces. I won't be getting over you anytime soon. I just hope that you get to rest, finally, and be free of sickness. Again, I'm really sorry that I couldn't save you. I love you.

R.I.P. Little Girl

I should have posted this weeks ago, but I haven't spent much time near the computer.

This little lady didn't exactly have a name... we just always referred to her and her twin sister as "The Girls." She was very sweet... I watched her grow up from a teeny tiny baby. Her father was my first gerbil, Testiclees, so in a way she was my grand-gerbil.

I've been pretty distraught over the way it happened... those puppies that I took in temporarily got ahold of her somehow... what an awful way to go. 😭 She was still young so I know she had a few good years left in her. I feel completely and utterly responsible for her death... I just wasn't thinking. If I had been I would have known better than to leave puppies alone with my other pets. I was just kind of at a loss as to where else to put those dogs... if I had left them in the streets they would've been hit by a car eventually - probably right in front of my house. I guess that was life's way of telling me that I can't save everyone. Damn if I don't keep trying, though.

Anyway, little darlin' I am SO sorry and you will be missed.

Interesting thing I saw today...

Saw this fella at PetCo... I really, REALLY wanted him. But I did not want him $120.00 bad. 😕 Oh well. (For those who can't tell, he's a hairless guinea pig).

Isn't he adorable?! 😀

Chattanooga Field Trip

For those of you who do not know who Walter and Perry are, here's a little insight:

That is what we were stuck with all day. Ok that is a total exaggeration, but no shit the two kids not wearing Saks shirts severiously reminded us of Walter and Perry.

Anyway, we got to pet sting rays. They were pretty slimy, but awesome. I don't really know how those things think, but they seemed pretty social. They would come up and let you touch them (sometimes even poking up out of the water a little bit), and then they would usually splash you and swim away then come back and do it all over again. Shadow was scared of them, but he didn't say so - in fact he said that he wanted to pet them, too. So, thinking I was being helpful when one swam our way again I grabbed his arm and stuck it into the water. He was so stiff that I ended up nearly dunking him. He was not happy about that. I don't think it ruined his day, though.

All of these pretty creatures and flowers were in the butterfly room...

This is the wall on the way down to the water animals. I like it. 😀

And here are the only pictures I took that came out sort of ok...

I really like this picture of Shadow for some reason:

And this is me and Nick on a brick couch. I want one. 😂

Also, we had lunch on the Southern Belle. The weather was FANTASTIC and it was quite enjoyable. Then we went over the the IMAX theater and watched a movie about dinosaurs entitled "Sea Monsters." It was in 3D and stuff... all the kids were screaming and trying to touch the creatures. It was pretty funny. I found out that if I'm sleepy even an IMAX movie will not keep me awake... I only napped off and on, though - I didn't sleep through the whole thing. ALSO... Shadow said that he really liked going to the "climax" theater. Yeah. That was good for LULz. 😂😂😂

Anyhoo, for a souvenir we bought Shadow a white t-shirt with sharks on it. But it's GREAT because when you go out in the sun, colors appear and also more sharks. It's the shit. 😀 So all in all it was a pretty fun day.

R.I.P. Little Clyde

Dude, you was my leezard. 😭 I could never touch you for fear of stressing you out. Hell, I was always a little worried about lingering near you for too long lest you puff up and turn dark.

I liked watching you eat, though. You were a pretty neat fella. I always loved the pale shade you would turn after a good meal of crickets, which meant that you were satisfied.

And your toes! You had the cutest toes of any animal, EVER! I enjoyed watching you climb around all shaky like a leaf. The things you could do with your eyes was pretty awesome, too. It always tripped me out every time that you would have your back to me, but would turn your eyes around to look at me. You were just neat. All over. For real.

I’m sad, Clyde, because I’ll probably never have another chameleon... you kids are just hard to keep alive. I wasn’t really ready for you to leave me. I already miss turning your lights off and on every day. ... Bye, my little buddy.

I slept most of the day...

I slept most of the day because I was up barfing all night.

It truly sucked and my head has never hurt like that before in my life.

I’m so glad it’s over.

On the bright side I had the best care-taker I could have ever asked for:  Shadow. I’m telling you - that kid was awesome to me last night. He heated up a slice of pizza for himself for dinner and didn’t ask me for ANYTHING. Also, he brought me tissues and water and medication and even a bucket to puke in. He petted my head and said he was sorry that I felt bad and shooed the dogs away when they got all over me. For serious, he’s the BEST KID EVER.

When Nick got home from work he handled everything else - my guys totally have my back and for that - I am grateful.

I don’t work at PetSmart anymore.

I can’t say that I won’t miss the job I did because I will. I really enjoyed working with the animals and some of the owners were pretty cool, too. I even made a few good friends (you know who you are and you will be missed.) No worries, though... I’ll still be around with the animal shelter so it’s not like I’m going to vanish completely.

BUT (for the most part) I won’t miss any of my ex-coworkers or the high school-esque drama that never quit. No matter how you slice it that place employs mostly kids (or adults that couldn’t act like adults) and well - there was a lot of immature, he said / she said, "this-manager’s-my friend-so-I-can-do-what-I-want" type of behavior going on and I’m just not down with all of that.

Not to mention that retail will always be retail, which usually forces you to choose between any semblance of family life and work... I don’t know about you, but my choice will always be my family. I don’t want to work holidays rather than spend time with them - so I won’t. That is my choice and if it means losing a part-time, low-paying job (with as far as I’m concerned - no opportunities for advancement seeing as how I WILL NOT sign a 2 year contract) then so be it. No matter what the store manager says, I DO, in fact, call my own shots - and I DO, in fact, do what I want. That’s the joy of being an adult. Life is choices and I’ve made mine. I have no regrets.

Honestly, this couldn’t have come at a better time. With my mother’s recent behavior she’s no longer on the list of people who could watch Shadow while I work, and until I get my other car running I really don’t want to have 3 jobs to get myself to, plus have to try to get Nick to his, anyway. It’s just hard to juggle it all - so I’m thankful for the break. And also for having my weekends back. It’s nice. 😊

Oh, and by the way I’ll be volunteering at the Animal Shelter’s thrift store, Secondhand Tails, on every other Friday during the day. If you haven’t been by the new location you should stop by there. It’s huge, and really nice. All proceeds go towards taking care of the shelter pets so it’s for a good cause, too. 😊

Have a nice weekend, friends. 😊 I know I will. 😉

Despite...

the fact that I'm tired pretty often - I'm happy. Really, contentedly happy. For those who can't keep count I now have 3 jobs... they're all part-time so it's not like I'm working 24/7, but sometimes it sure feels that way. And mostly I'm tired because I'm a night owl and I just don't go to bed at a decent hour (even when I know that I have to get up early). It kind of sucks, but I tend to get more energetic in the evenings. 😕

Anyway, like I was saying - it's not as bad as it sounds. I work at SCM (thanks Shaun) Monday - Thursday in the daytime. Then I work at PetSmart 2-3 evenings a week and I do bookkeeping for CRIJO here and there (whenever they need me). I still volunteer with the Animal Shelter regularly and amazingly I have most of my evenings home with Shadow. It's actually pretty refreshing to be busy and not have to do the EXACT SAME THING day in and day out.

Another super-great thing is that I've met some really awesome people since I left the full-time grind. I feel like I can really get behind what CRIJO does because the owner of the company loves animals and his company helps shelters. I love washing dogs at PetSmart - all I can say is that it is just a fun job and being an employee there has it's perks. SCM... well. It doesn't even seem possible, but there's not a single employee there that I do not like. Sarah keeps me busy and the day is gone before I know it. It's crazy. 

Also... I'm not saying too much because it's not my accomplishment to brag about, but things are really looking up for The Nick at his place of employment. I'm SUPER proud of him and I hope things go as planned. Even though things were hard when we both left our full-time jobs I've gotta say that I think it has been worth it. We're both much happier than we've been in quite a while.

If anyone was curious why I'm not around much these days I hope that clears it up. Guess I'm about to go get a shower and hope that I can get myself to bed kind of early. I'm actually not all energized at the moment... to the contrary - I'm drained. I think it's catching up to me. Anywayz... miss you. 😊

Sometimes I just want to quit.

Today has been one of those days where I've just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say "Fuck it! I'm done." See, what you don't know, lovely internet, is that I'm typing this on Notepad because you won't work for whatever reason. I come to you to vent about how crappy things are and you've forsaken me, too.

Today (which - by the time you see this, internet friends, will probably be yesterday...) was shitty. I had an appointment this morning; a kind of important one. I got up, got ready, and would have probably been on time. But no. That is not how things went.

Shadow wasn't feeling well when he woke up. He agreed to go to school anyway, but shortly after he arrived I was called to pick him up - you know - right as I was walking out to go to my appointment. Needless to say, I missed it. I really didn't mind because I felt bad that he was even trying to go to school. He looked like he didn't feel well. Anyway, he was nauseated. I have some over the counter stuff that I usually give him for his stomach and it normally works fine. Not today. He vomited 3 times and then fell asleep for a while. When he woke up he came to me begging me to save him. He said he felt like he was dying and that he didn't want to die. If you've never seen a child beg for his life - consider yourself lucky. It's heartbreaking to say the least.

I called the doctor (it was 11 am) and they couldn't see him until 2 this afternoon. I asked him if he could wait and he tried, but I found him rolling in the floor crying with his stomach. FUCK NO. So off to the ER we went - and there we stayed for the rest of the day. They ran tests on him - took blood (which he took well), urine, and x-rays; they couldn't find anything wrong with him. They gave me a prescription for Phenergan, told me to get some Motrin and fluids in him, and come back if he doesn't get better.

You would think spending all day in the ER would be bad enough, but wait - it gets worse. I went to the pharmacy hoping for it to be a quick trip. They told me that if I wanted to wait IN THE STORE that they could fill his prescription in 20 or 30 minutes. If I wanted to drop it off it would be after 6:30 that I could pick his medicine up. I asked if I could go ahead and give it to them and come right back - my car was on empty and this particular drug store was out of children's Motrin. I had a few things I needed to do and I could be back in 20 or 30 minutes.

Keep in mind that it is cold as fuck, Shadow's in pain, and we're just ready to get home - so I'm trying my hardest to get shit done. They said no - that if I left the store it would be after 6:30. I pointed to Shadow (who was moaning and rolling in the floor) and said "Look at my child. We've spent all day in the ER and we'd REALLY like to get home. Can you not just work with me??" The tech started to tell me no, but another lady cut her off and told her to just do it for us. I was relieved because I would've showed my ass.

We weren't home in time for me to take Nick to work, but Janet saved the day. She took him to work and stopped by to check on me and Shadow once we were home. When he puked again she helped me out with that, too. My mother sat at the ER with us; she also gave us a ride to the car in her warmed-up truck because we had to park a bajillion miles away. Hey, it's better than having to walk in the cold.

Now Shadow's medication has him knocked the fuck out which is probably the best thing for him right now. He was not resting well today before he took it and at least now he's not moaning and crying in pain. I'm telling you - that shit is HEARTBREAKING. When you are the momma and you can't fix your baby it's the worst feeling in the world.

So, is that the end to our bad day? Nope. Just a few minutes ago Nick found a puddle in the floor... we now have a broken pipe to contend with and NO extra money to repair it. And my internet's not working which just pisses me off even more.

It's days like this that make me feel like a crappy parent, a bad homeowner - and in general like I just can't get right and have things go my way.

Tater and Gregory

I'm not supposed to say how I got them... hence this being a preferred post. If you are my friend don't tell on me. Don't mention this to other people. I don't know how big of a deal this is, but I can't afford for it to cost me my job.

At PetSmart we have a room where we keep animals that are not able to be sold... they're "not perfect" and so that means that obviously no one would want them. *rolls eyes* We have a few one-eyed hamsters and such in this room and also the two rats that I brought home were from this room... they were beat up and scarred pretty bad... one was even bleeding, though he was all alone. I'm sure his wounds were itching and he just scratched them.

I guess some of the smaller animals don't always get along with their housemates or probably even some of them just come in with little abnormalities. Anyway... PetSmart has an image to protect just as most businesses do.

When I saw those rats back there all alone and shit I just couldn't leave them. And honestly I don't know what happens to them if they're not adopted by an employee. (PetSmart will pretty much give these animals to employees - but not the public, as far as I know - just to get them off their hands since they can't sell them.) They told me that they didn't get along with other rats which is why they were in solitary and beat up.

Well, I took them both home and gave them all baths (even Daxter - who btw, has seemed really depressed since Jak died) and put them all together. They've been really nice to each other... no squabbles or anything. They even groomed each other and curled up to sleep together. "Doesn't get along with other rats," my ass. I know every rat will not get along with every rat, but that doesn't mean that you have to put them in solitary. That's really bad for a rat. 😟 Honestly on second thought they may have just been so grateful for company that they could now get along with anyone.

Either way they are all doing well socially. Now to heal the wounds. I took Hairy to the vet last week to have her eye checked on again. It's much better, btw. 😀 She has some scratches on her skin (where it looked like she'd scratched herself too much), so the vet gave me a tube of some anti-itch, anti-bacterial cream to put on her. I think I'm going to use it on the new fellas, as well, to see if that helps.

Anyway, I understand why PetSmart wouldn't want the public seeing beat-up, one-eyed little animals (even though shit like that just happens - it's nature), but it sucks that unless an employee takes them home they're just pretty much stuck back there (unless they heal up nicely). Again, please don't go in there asking about pets for adoption because I'm the only one who's adopted a pet in quite a while that I know of so I'm sure they'd realize it was me who said that that happens. If anyone's interested in an unperfect little animal let me know. I plan to find out who all is back there (there's not that many in case I've got you all freaked out), and I'm trying to think of a way to bust them all out. 😁 They deserve loving homes, too. 😊

I cried at work today.

They were happy tears, thankfully. 😊

I went to pick up some food for us back in the salon and when I returned I had a new dog to wash. I went back and then I saw her. I recognized her immediately: Gussie. 😁 Gussie was at PetSmart getting a bath. That could only mean one thing: That she'd found her forever home! 😁😁😁

As most of my friends know I've been volunteering with the shelter for over a year now. When we walk the dogs at PetSmart on the first Saturday of the month I'm usually there. I think I've only missed two or three Saturdays - tops. During this time I've fallen for many a dog. Unfortunately, I don't have the space or funds to take them all home with me; otherwise I would.

Well there's a pretty little doggie that I walked EVERY Saturday that she got to come... she's so beautiful and sweet. I have a picture of her. 😀

She's very shy and quiet. Smart, too. She's not as rambunctious as the other dogs so we would usually go off by ourselves and learn something. She's a quick learner. I would always tell her every time how much I wished I could have her, but that I couldn't. I reassured her that she would find her forever home soon, though, and that it would be well worth the wait.

So today was the day. 😌 I was very happy for her. (So happy I cried. LOL) I'm probably wayyy to attached to animals that aren't even mine, but whatever. I think they feel my love and that's all that matters to me. For whatever it's worth I care, and I hope they know it.

I got to meet her family... she now has two little boys to play with (who seemed surprisingly well-mannered despite how young they looked), and an awesome mom and dad. The dad said that he'd picked her out last week, but was going to be away on business so he didn't want to bring her home until he came back. He talked about how pretty and sweet she was and I told him that he'd picked out a very good girl. She's been microchipped already and is enrolled in training classes. I have a feeling she'll be very well cared for. 😁 Aside from the fact that I couldn't get the shelter funk completely off her, the dad said he'd bring her back just to see me. Shit like this really makes my day. You have no idea. 😁😁😁

Congratulations, Gussie! I can't wait to see you again! 😍

Rest in Peace, Jak :(

I found little Jak dead this morning. 😭 I didn't have him for long... a few months - tops, but I he was a very sweet boy. I'm honestly not sure what went wrong as he showed no signs of sickness or injury at all. I'm thinking he might have just been old... rats don't have very long life spans, unfortunately, and I have no way of knowing his age seeing as how he was given to me. There's just no telling how old he was when his first owners bought him from the pet store, nor how long they had him.

Anyway, he looked very peaceful which eased my mind. It looked as though he'd curled up and gone to sleep and then just never woke up. I suppose I couldn't think of a better way to go. I will miss you little fatty ratty. Have a good sleep.

Dog Bite

First of all I'd like to say "thank you" to everyone who wrote to check on me... it really made my day to see so many messages from my friends. 😊 So this means that you love me! You really LOVE me! 😃

Anyway, so here's the whole story: Yesterday I was about to bathe a little 5 month old Jack Russell Terrier named Snoopy... but before the bath I wanted to get his nails clipped and his ears cleaned. Well, I was doing his nails and got both of the back feet without much of a hassle. Then I moved to the front... he allowed me to clip his right foot, but not without some fussing. He wasn't really growling... just sort of grumbling at me. If you've ever trimmed a dog's nails you know that most of them DO NOT like it. And quite a few of them will grumble at you and fuss and some will even put their teeth ON you... not even necessarily with their mouth open, but they will do that pretty much as a warning that they don't like what you're doing.

So... all I was getting was a little bit of fussing on the first front foot, which I didn't think much about. When I picked up the other front paw he just grumbled some more and lowered his head (which isn't unusual). So I started clipping... and then he went all Cujo on my hand. The first time he bit hurt the worst so I'm assuming that's when he left the puncture wound although I didn't know it at the time. The other few times he bit were a little less forceful probably because he realized that (for reasons I'm not even sure of) it wasn't making me let go of his foot. Honestly, until I saw the wound I thought he was just protesting... I didn't know that he was really trying to prove his point.

So after his tantrum (with me STILL holding his foot), I noticed my hand throbbing and saw the little hole... one of the other bathers came over and muzzled him and I finished his nails. See, if you let them show their asses and get their way they'll just be that much worse the next go round. So I finished what I had to do. I know I didn't hurt the little shit... he had clear nails so I could see his quicks and I hadn't cut any of them. He just didn't like what was going on.

After I finished I got a better look at my hand... it was a small hole, but it was there. We decided that we should probably tell management (since that IS the rule) and so we did. I had to call a nurse who STRONGLY recommended that I go to the ER... mostly because the puppy hadn't had his rabies shots yet. We take them in the salon up to 6 months old without them and he was only 5. Not only that, but I don't have insurance and if I hadn't went when they sent me I would have probably been liable had there been any complications so... I went.

It was GRUELING. I got there before 9 pm and I didn't make it out of there until 2 am. I am on antibiotics and I had to have a Tetanus shot (which is killing my shoulder, btw). Not only that, but the incident had to be reported to the authorities and the health department. It was even recommended that I call Animal Control, but I'm not going to do that. He was just a puppy - probably spoiled to hell and back and not used to his feet being handled. OH, and here's the best part: if we don't go through the proper channels and have him quarantined for 10 days I'll have to take rabies shots. The hospital and health department both have their eyes on me.

So yeah... all this fuss over a puncture that within two hours closed up to be about this long: -- And the moral of the story is: Handle your dogs feet. And have them vaccinated ASAP. It sure would make my life easier. 😝