Today was nice. 😊

Today was nice. 😊

I spent a bunch of my day with Caitlin. We went to see our friend Judy in the hospital. She looked great today and she just kills me how she gets so happy about cookies or a good coffee. I'm glad she'll be out soon.

Then we went to a plant nursery. Caitlin got a few plants. I got one - the scraggliest little 2 individual pieces of Fairy Castle cactus. 😂 My heart just went out to the poor thing. I've never even seen it as single pieces before; they're always in the classic "castle" shape. So we'll see if I can grow it up.

Today is my watering day for the greenhouse. Anyone who looks thirsty gets to butt-chug (I bottom-water to prevent rot and scorch marks). Otherwise, I live by "When in doubt, wait it out." to prevent rot.

Mama Dove was in there and left when I went in, as usual. But after about 15 minutes I could hear her flying around outside. She was looking in and I could tell she wanted to come back, but was unsure of me. She landed on top of the greenhouse a few times. I know she was so stressed. 🙁

But eventually she came back, even while I was in there moving around. I made sure to move slowly and not look directly at her, and we coexisted. I walked in and out several times and was able to move plants on the shelf next to her with no issue. She even allowed Shaun in (without flying away) to help me carry out my extra water. I finished up and closed the door and she and the eggs are tucked in for the night. (The windows above the doors are open. She's not trapped.)

I have a lot of buds coming up, and had a couple of small new flowers today. I'm pretty excited about how it's looking in there! 😊

Found Bear wearing his collar like this.

Found Bear wearing his collar like this. I don't know how that happened. I also don't know how it hasn't happened before. He's got an adult neck and baby head. 😂

He kind of looks like he's wearing a hair bow from the front. 😂😂😂

Hey friends! Happy Friday!

Hey friends!  Happy Friday!

Life Update:

I'm still sleeping a lot.  Like, 12-14 hours a day during the week.  I am so grateful that Shaun doesn't hate shopping/going to stores/doing the errands because I certainly do and they are such a drain.  Thankfully, it's not as big of a deal for him and he is handling all of that for us.  He's like "Since you're working..." and I'm like "Bruh, I am part-time at best at my official job, and barely even taking baby steps on getting my web design business off the ground or Polish ALL the Things! converted to a Native app."

Regardless, he says that I'm doing enough and I'm glad that he feels that way.  I've been a lot easier on myself since finding out that I have Autism, and I am grateful that Shaun understands and doesn't put any extra stress on me while I try to continue to recover from burnout.  He's never been anything but gentle and supportive of me, even before my diagnosis.  When I was pretty well incapacitated in 2014 he basically body-doubled my entire life to keep me going until I got help.  Part of that was depression, but looking back, it was probably partially due to a burnout phase, too.

I don't really have any idea what life will look like after May, when the UI/UX class I'm taking and the ServiceNow CSA class I'm teaching both end.  But I'm hoping that I will be more functional as a person and able to hold down more steady work, should I be so lucky to have it.

I do have a lot of items on my To Do list that I feel like have been holding me back from things I really want to do.  I feel like I've been stuck in "Waiting Mode", as in, "Waiting for things to be done before I can enjoy myself or take on more projects" for a few years, so that is unfortunate, especially since I was "shoulding" myself and putting pressure on myself to finish them, but since I've stopped with the pressure and just worked on things at a sustainable pace, they're finally (slowly but surely) getting done.  Nothing is checked off of my list yet, but there is progress, which is better than no progress, so I'm taking the win.

It's really not as satisfying to not binge and finish things super fast, but I've learned that that is dopamine seeking and I'm trying not to do that anymore (at least not in ways that end up being detrimental to my health).  So we'll see how that goes.  Maybe THIS will be the year that I finally get my shit together.  😂😂😂  (If you don't know:  I say this every year after I binge a project and make progress, only to burn out and accomplish nothing else.)

Anyway, Happy Weekend, friends!  ❤

Two eggs! Two new flowers!

Two eggs! Two new flowers!

And an up-close of some pink that are still in bloom.

It's Thursday. I'm in a funky [negative] mood.

It's Thursday.  I'm in a funky [negative] mood.

How are y'all?  Did you fall for a prank yesterday?

I didn't, but Shaun got got, which is hilarious because he's so skeptical.  One of the local animal businesses posted that they were now offering helicopter rides for pets to the daycare.  I was like "You know what day it is, right?"  😆

I love my UI/UX teacher.

I love my UI/UX teacher. I had never tried so hard to quit a class in my life, but she's worked with me through burnout and the different way that my brain processes things. She gets it because she has autism, too, so she understands the struggles I'm having and is able to explain things to me in a way that I can understand. I really don't think I'd be making it through this class if I had any other teacher.

So I'm getting pretty comfortable in Figma, and we started on Illustrator tonight. I don't know if I'll ever be any sort of digital artist, but I can definitely make my own icons after tonight. That's pretty neat!

Apple has officially accepted me as a developer.

Apple has officially accepted me as a developer. I guess it's time to go (moderately so I don't burn out) hard on converting my app. 😂😂😂

I am really not enjoying this whole "pacing myself" thing, but being able to do even small things every day rather than being immobilized mentally and physically by burn out is better. I'm gonna try my hardest to stick to it.