Life update:
Me and Shaun lost our health insurance at the end of April. We have too much in savings to be eligible for Medicaid here, so we'll have to pay out of pocket for other state insurance. It's going to be about $750/month to get ourselves covered, which isn't ideal since I'm unemployed. But I'm grateful for the option. Btw, the kids still have their Medicaid, so they're fine.
I haven't been to therapy since mid-May because I can't afford to pay $250/week for it. But I'm doing ok mentally. We will have to purchase insurance by next month because I won't have enough medication left to be normal if I don't. I have a supply of my antidepressant and antianxiety, as well as the hormones I need. I will check in with Shaun tomorrow and see where he is with medication. Also, I'm going to push him to go to urgent care if his sinus infection doesn't clear up.
I feel like I really needed the deep rest, so being laid off was kind of a relief at first. Now I've been sick for the last week or so, and I've needed a bunch of rest to recover from that. I'm feeling mostly better, though, so now I'm just feeling really untethered; but not in a good way. I guess "aimless" would be a good word to describe it.
There is so much I could be doing. I could finish swatching my polish. Work on my database. Try to sell some of the jewelry I made since I don't have an income. Try to sell some of our extra stuff from around the house because I love to declutter and money would be nice.
I could clean. I could do the laundry I've been meaning to do for more than 6 weeks. I'm down to wearing nightgowns day in and day out because I am literally out of clean clothes. 😆 I could at least make myself some healthy food, but I've been living on soup and pizza rolls and rice pudding for weeks. I have no willpower to do anything except for water my plants.
The one positive from this downtime is that I have actually started gaining some energy back. Not enough that I want to use it yet, but it's harder to lay around and that's a good thing. For the past two nights in a row, I've dreamed about roller skating. I feel like that's a good sign. I've ordered a boot stretcher so that I can stretch the toe of my skates and hopefully wear them for longer periods. They fit toe-to-heel, but I have wide feet and the toe box is so narrow. It's hard to wear them for long.
As much as schedules feel like prison, I'm far more productive and stable when I have one.
Anyway. I know of several people who were let go from my previous company and no one is having luck getting hired anywhere. I'm pretty sure it's the job market and not us. I have degrees in Math and Computer Science, as well as certifications in ServiceNow. I feel like I should be pretty marketable. I had been looking for work involving ServiceNow, but I'm starting to think I need to widen my search and see if that helps. I'm also considering looking into Salesforce.
Other than that, I have some friends visiting soon and I am so excited about it. I feel like I need it and I think we all will have a great time.
I hope y'all are doing well. ❤ I'm not 100%, but things will get better.
